Chapter Twenty-One— Ixnay on the Oopidstay!

Dear Diary,

I can't believe it. I actually kissed Jeremy. And, surprisingly, I liked it. I'm a little concerned that I'm not sure if I was thinking about Jeremy or James, but I'm starting a new health routine, called: Repress Anything James Related.

Surprisingly, it's working. And I really do like Jeremy; I'm just not sure if I like him as a friend or as more. It kind of looks like he's more than that, no matter what I think. I mean, he's not officially my boyfriend, or anything, but it looks like we're heading that way.

-Lily

Dear Diary,

I think something's wrong with Sirius. He's been avoiding me ever since Hogsmeade, and even then he acted funny, and I'm pretty sure he blew me off.

Teen Witch says these are all the classic signs of him cheating on me. I ripped the stupid magazine to shreds after I read it, but I still can't help but worry about it. Plus, now I can't read about which wand motions will help you lose weight. Plus, it was Lily's magazine…well, Lily's pile of shreds, now.

Speaking of Lily, Jeremy is quite obviously infatuated with her. Poor bastard. It seems like James still has it for Lily, as well. I still don't know which one I want to win. James is my friend, and he WAS there first, but Jeremy is SO nice, he comes up to me whenever he sees that I'm really worried about something (Sirius), and he always makes me laugh.

My head's about to explode from thinking too much (I never thought I'd say THAT), so let's end this now.

Love,

Adriyana

"…It's just weird, Lily. Ever since Hogsmeade he'll barely look at me!"

Lily nodded, not even paying attention to what Adriyana was saying. She did care about her friend, she was just very, VERY preoccupied at the moment…and Adriyana had been talking about the same thing all day, anyway, so she'd heard it all before.

"So, how's it going with you and Jeremy?"

That finally caught Lily's attention. Truthfully, she hadn't seen Jeremy since she'd kissed him after their Hogsmeade date, but he'd certainly made it clear that he wanted to see her again. So far, she'd gotten chocolates, flowers, and a rather strange limerick about pie, which didn't really make much sense at all, but it made Lily laugh, and truthfully, that's what she liked best about Jeremy.

"Earth to planet Lily!" Adriyana's hand was flapping around in front of her face. "Fine, just look like a spaced-out moron when Jeremy comes, he's just down that corridor, coming this way."

Lily squealed. "Agie, I don't…I'm not wearing makeup! Hide me, now!" she ducked behind Adriyana, who did her best to try and hide Lily, even thought they were standing in the middle of the corridor.

It seemed to be working, but a second later, Lily heard Jeremy's voice, calling her over.

Adriyana just looked down at her. "Did you forget how short I was?"

"Great. Now I'm makeup-free and covered in dirt!" Lily said, making a face.

"Hello, Ladies!" Jeremy slid in between the two of them, slipping an arm around Lily's shoulders. "How's stuff?"

Adriyana smiled and shrugged. "Could be better."

Lily rolled her eyes. "For the last time, he's NOT cheating on you!"

"Maybe not, but he's definitely doing something bad. Maybe I should just ask him…"

"You have fun with that!" Jeremy smiled. "Lily, you wanna go somewhere?"

"Well, we were just going to—"

"It's okay, Lils, go if you want," Adriyana said. Lily shot her a pleading look, hoping she understood. "Oh, damn, I forgot, I might need your help after all!"

"That's fine. I'll see you later, then?" Jeremy asked.

"Sure, that'll be—" Lily said, but then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a mop of messy black hair, underneath it a pair of brown eyes, shooting an envious glare in Jeremy's direction.

Sure, she knew she had a crush on James, knew she liked him more than she liked Jeremy, but right now, she'd do anything to distract anyone besides her from knowing it.

"You know what? Let's go somewhere now. I'll help you later, Agie!"

Adriyana just shrugged, heading over towards Sirius and James.

Sirius stood next to James in the corridor, too distracted to notice that his best friend was glaring at Jeremy, so he was none the wiser to the fact that anyone else was even in the hallway at all.

He turned to James. "Do you think I should just tell Agie?"

James looked up nervously. "Um…Padfoot?"

"I should, right? I feel bad keeping it from her, you know, but I don't know what she'll say! I mean, I'm kind of an idiot, because now she'll be mad that I slept with Dawson AND that I've been lying about it for the last two weeks! You think she'll understand? I really hope so, because what would happen if—"

"Ixnay on the alkingtay!" James muttered.

"Let me finish, Prongs!"

"I would just shut up now, if I were you…"

"Why?"

A shaky voice answered him. "Well, you don't need to worry about my reaction, anymore."

Sirius jumped as he heard that voice, which was definitely not James'. He winced. "Agie?"

"So…that's what you've been hiding?" Adriyana asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Agie, I'm really sorry you found out this way, but—"

"See, that's what I was trying to prevent by asking you in the FIRST PLACE. What do you think I asked for? Jaw exercise?"

"Agie, can we please talk about this somewhere else?"

"What's wrong with here?" she demanded.

Sirius jerked his thumb towards James, who was shuffling his feet awkwardly, eyes fixed on the ground. Adriyana flicked her wand at him, transfiguring him into a shrub, though she was a bit distracted, so the shrub still bore James's glasses, and the leaves stuck up a bit funny in the back.

She crossed her arms, and he took it as his cue to start grovelling. "Agie, I swear, I was—"

"You STILL lied to me, Sirius. Do you know how hard it's been, with your track record, to convince myself to trust you? Well, it hasn't been easy," Adriyana said, voice getting shakier as her eyes began to cloud over. "Sirius, when a girl, ANY girl, asks you a question as important as that, you DON'T lie. Ever. I wasn't expecting you to have never gone that far, of course…but you just looked so sincere when you told me, and that's when I finally convinced myself to do it, to trust you. I just guess…maybe you're just not ready for a real relationship yet…"

"That's not true!"

"Then prove it!" she yelled.

Sirius thought of too many things to say at once, and all of them tried to come out of his mouth at the same time, so he never ended up saying anything that was even remotely coherent.

"Sirius, how can I ever trust you, knowing you can't trust me?" Adriyana asked, swiping her sleeve across her eyes.

"But Adriyana, I—"

"Don't 'but Adriyana' me! You've been leading me on for two weeks now, making me look like an idiot!"

"Agie, you don't even know how sorry I am!" he said. "Here! I'll even tell everyone, just for you. Watch!" He cupped his hands over his mouth. "EVERYONE!" he yelled, "I'm a total idiot and Adriyana is completely right, and I was wrong! She—"

He turned around, seeing Adriyana walking down the corridor, away from him. He turned around and ran after her, nearly tripping over the James-bush on his way.

"Agie, where are you going?" He grabbed her arm, whirling her around.

"Sirius." She sniffled. "You don't get it, do you? I just…can't be with someone who I don't trust, and who doesn't trust me, and you quite clearly don't. So…I guess that's it. I've got to go, now. Bye." Adriyana twisted her arm out of his grip and walked away, not glancing back at Sirius, who couldn't be feeling any worse at the moment if Adriyana had ripped his heart right out of his chest and taken it with her.

In a way, she had.

Sirius stood in the hallway alone for who knows how long, before he realized James was still just a little ways down the hall, and still looking every bit like a shrub.

He changed him back, and James gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm a stupid git, Prongs," he said, not taking his eyes off his feet. "Agie just broke up with me."

James' eyes widened. "She did? Because of that? Doesn't it seem like she's overreacting just a little?"

"Maybe she is," a new, female voice behind them said. Sirius and James turned around, now facing Lily, her hair slightly more ruffled than it had been fifteen minutes ago. James growled. "But this is exactly what she was afraid of when things started getting serious between the two of you. It was really hard for her to trust you, and once she did—"

"I screwed it all up," Sirius finished.

Lily looked at him for a minute. "I'm not supposed to be talking to you at all, you know, now that you're my best friend's ex, and I've got a long night of consoling ahead of me; I'd better go," Lily said, turning around and heading back towards Gryffindor Tower. Both Sirius and James saw the small smile on her face before she disappeared, and both wondered which one of them it was meant for.

James sighed as Lily walked way. "You and I...we're in the same boat, mate," he said.

Sirius, who right now wanted nothing more than to be alone and mope, shot James a tired glance. "Yeah, well, I think we're sinking."

"Adriyana and Sirius broke up?"

"No, she dumped him."

"Doesn't that seem like a little too much? Why'd she do it?"

"Because she's a bloody idiot. Anyone can see that Padfoot is clever, fun to be around--"

"So, why don't YOU date him, Prongs?"

"Oh, shut up, Wormtail. Anyone in their right mind could see that he's absolutely crazy for her, anyway."

"Well, it's too late for that now, isn't it?"

"No, Peter, you'll see. It's not too late. Can't you see she's just as crazy for him?"

But Sirius, who had been listening from inside his bed's curtains (the others must have thought he was asleep), didn't hear James' last sentence. He was too busy slamming his fist into the headboard as hard as he could.

He lost her. How could he have been so stupid?

Lily headed up to her dormitory, with her "best-friend kit," namely, a box of tissues and a whole mess of chocolate. She pushed open the door, hoping Adriyana wasn't in a "throwing heavy objects" state of mind.

She wasn't. Instead she curled into a tight, shaking ball on her bed. You didn't have to dump him, Agie. You brought this on yourself, Lily thought, remembering the hollow, heartbroken look she'd seen in Sirius' eyes just moments before. This is pretty intense. Seven months, and they're over because of this? It's crazy, but I've never understood Adriyana's mind before…

Lily closed the door and Adriyana looked up, black mascara tracks running down her face. "Oh, Honey…" Lily said, heading over to Adriyana and wrapping her arms around her.

"Lily…I don't think I should have…I still love him..." Adriyana said, in between heavy breaths. "It's just too hard to let my guard down around him, and I can't do it if he can't trust me. I just kind of…snapped, you know? But I already miss him, Lily, what do I do?"

"Agie, you just do what you think is right," Lily whispered, smoothing Adriyana's hair with her hands.

"But that's just it! It's too damn hard! I'm completely torn! My brain says one thing, but…"

"Your heart says the opposite," Lily said, sighing. She knew that feeling all too well. She hugged Adriyana tighter. "Of course the pain isn't going to just go away like that , you just ended a seven month relationship. It's going to hurt for a while, sweetie."

Adriyana sobbed harder. "He would know how to make it better, Lils. That's one of the things I loved most about him. He pretends to be an arrogant arse, but when we're alone, he's really kind of sweet."

Lily smiled. "Sweet like chocolate?" She threw her stash of the stuff onto the bed.

Adriyana managed a watery, if not slightly forced, smile. "It's not the same…but I guess it doesn't hurt."

A/N: Aww. How sad. I'm so evil, but at least this one came faster, eh?

Maybe not. Don't hate me, though. I know there's a lot of Sirius/OC in here, but the next chapter (and most of seventh year) will have a heavy Lily/James influence. And don't be too upset, okay? There's two chapters left until the summer, lots of stuff could happen…