Title: Guilty Nightmares, Devoting Kicks
Summary: Kurosaki Karin takes after her brother; short tempered, powerful, understanding, rude, yet determined. She's determined to become what her brother became by going to the shinigami academy in Seireitei, and then become a powerful shinigami, exactly like her brother. While she becomes prey at the academy with Kuchiki Rukia, her relief at the end of the day is with her friends. One of them, specifically, makes her happy; brilliant soccer player, Hitsugaya Toshiro. Hitsugaya's mind wanders from Karin to Hinamori, wondering what they've created in his life. Rukia's unfazed charisma is suddenly cracked open with the sudden announcement of Ichigo and Inoue's 'relationship.'
Pairings: Karin/Hitsugaya Hinamori/Hitsugaya Rukia/Ichigo Inoue/Ichigo
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach…Sadly…
Chapter Four: (Rukia's POV) Messed Up Feelings
I'm a light sleeper, so when Karin-chan walked out of her room, I was almost instantaneously up. Bits of conversation reached my ears, and once I pieced them together, I'd come up with a conclusion. Karin-chan had found out about her death, and was somewhat happy about it. She had also found the pictures of Hinamori-chan and Aizen, not to mention the fact that Hinamori and Captain Hitsugaya had a certain relationship. But what really made me worry was that she'd found out Hinamori-chan was locked up. Karin-chan had actually started giving a lecture. She was comparing the situation to my situation, when Ichigo had rescued me from my impending death a few years ago. Then, she'd ended the whole situation quite nicely, saying she wanted to compete against him in a soccer game. The whole irony of the conversation was amusing, if not for the fact that the temperature in the hallway was rising and dropping randomly during the whole dialogue.
Once Karin-chan had been in her room for awhile, I walked over to the lit office, and knocked on the door. Inside, Captain Hitsugaya was filling out forms. I walked in and pulled up a chair opposite him. "Captain Hitsugaya; I was wondering about Hinamori-chan. Please don't get angry about Karin-chan. She's got Ichigo's reckless attitude, but Captain Hitsugaya… you shouldn't get all riled up over that. It's just in Karin-chan's nature to be a little nosy. Nearly all the captains in the Gotei 13 know that Hinamori-chan had an immense infatuation with Aizen, so it's only natural that she would've done and said. Could you tell me about Hinamori-chan's last few days before her confinement?" I kept my voice low, in case Karin hadn't gone to bed. I knew the facts about the confinement, as it had been big news, but I wanted to dig into Captain Hitsugaya's thoughts. A provoking question like that one would do the trick, I had thought.
The view from my chair was amazing. Outside, the moon was a low crescent, the stars flickering and disappearing as the sun started to come up. A movement came from above; on the roof. Captain Hitsugaya took this opportunity to leap up from his desk and avoid my questioning. Suspecting some disabled shingles on the roof, I reluctantly followed him. Carefully, I jumped onto the roof and landed, placing more reiatsu on my bare feet. Captain Hitsugaya had skidded ahead and was now glaring at a figure laying on the cold, dense, spirit particles.
Karin's tanned figure was laid out on the roof. Hands and legs spread out, she looked like an immature child. Her eyes were reflecting the moon and her face emitted the life of a kid that hadn't matured. She patted to the area beside her and asked childishly, "Rukia-san, I think the moon's much better in Soul Society. I hate the early mornings; I'm always cranky because it's another reminder of how many things I haven't finished. It sucks. I love the night. It's like a perfect ending to a day. Want to watch the moon set?" I looked over, for a moment, at Captain Hitsugaya's stern expression, and then sat down on the roof beside Karin-chan.
I'd never noticed the moon in Soul Society. I'd stared at it for a few minutes, but never as long as Karin-chan had told me to. Captain Hitsugaya hadn't moved since he started staring at Karin-chan's pajama clad, petite structure. I started up an awkward conversation again; whatever was going on between them had nothing that could be best provoked by the subject of Hinamori.
"Captain Hitsugaya, what's going to happen to Karin-chan's weapon? Nii-sama wants to have a meeting with Karin-chan about the shinigami academy, but since you're taking care of her, I suppose you should take her to get a new weapon. Karin-chan, what're you going to choose?" I watched her fingers twitch a little. I could only see the outline of Captain Hitsugaya and Karin-chan. They could've traded places, and I wouldn't have figured it out. Karin-chan didn't have any curves, although she was pretty damn thin. Her static hair was almost as messed up as Captain Hitsugaya's, but her expression, which was very vague, was so carefree. Captain Hitsugaya's face was turned towards the fading black sky, his eyes reflecting an austere sadness.
Captain Hitsugaya snorted after I asked the question. "It won't matter. Captain Yamamoto's placing her under my care until he finds another way to bring her back to the living world. Karin's soul was partially damaged, frozen, and demolish; she was taken back to the real world so her gigai would die, and not her soul. All we need to do is restore her soul using very dense spirit particles, and make a gigai. Captain Yamamoto has no intention of another Kurosaki staying in Soul Society, so don't get your hopes up. I wouldn't be surprised if Captain Yamamoto decided to swipe your memory of this place after he fixes up your soul."I cruel laugh entered the serene silence. Captain Hitsugaya was being very bitter about this…
Karin's smile seemed to have flickered a bit, but her eyes still reflected the stars; uncaring and free. "The wind is charred and the stars are faint; don't let despair in, for the heart will taint. My only wish is to be able to protect my family, and as long as I can see Hollow, I will harbor that wish." She breathed deeply and laughed. "I feel free out here! After seeing you Toshiro, I've always wondered whether you had ever had fun; ever been free. But if you'd never had fun, why would you long for it, you know? So…for the fun of it…" She leapt up and grabbed Captain Hitsugaya's shoulders and pulled him down onto the roof beside her. The captain seemed outraged for a few moments, but then started cracking up when Karin-chan tickled him, poking him in the side and under the armpits.
Karin-chan smirked as the stern look on Captain Hitsugaya's face turned into a childish expression of outrage and fun.
"Rukia-san, come on! Grab Toshiro's feet!" While I was pondering, Karin-chan had grabbed the captain's hands and hoisted him up. Confused, I grabbed the captain's two feet, and watched in amazement as Karin-chan attempted to pull him around on the roof. Due to Karin-chan's size, though, Captain Hitsugaya was pulled up and down, every time nearly hitting his head on the shingles. Karin-chan enjoyed the screams coming from him; I admit, that yes, I had to laugh quietly. After a couple of swings and screams, Karin-chan and I tossed Captain Hitsugaya down on the roof, and looked up at the setting moon again.
"See? I bet you could have a much better life if you weren't so uptight all the time. That's why I've worked out a plan! We're gonna get you a damn friend. " Karin-chan's body flipped over and mumbled, "Toshiro, you're a little kid. Act like it. Rukia-san…" My head tilted up at the sound of my name. After the exhausting exercise, I'd collapsed between Captain Hitsugaya and Karin-chan. "Everyone around here carries a soul slayer. How do I get one… do I buy it? You said Toshiro was going to take me to it…" She drifted off a little. Karin-chan attempted to stand up, but smashed her hand underneath her foot and slid, crashing the shingles. I gaped and rushed to pull her up. Captain Hitsugaya sat in the corner, fuming over what had just been done.
"Ichigo didn't tell you?" The idiot had probably never thought Karin was going to attempt to become a shinigami. "A soul slayer is the user's reiatsu molded into a weapon. You create it yourself, combining your spirit energy, making a very dense, reiatsu packed weapon called a Soul Slayer. For you to be able to create a Soul Slayer, we'll put you into a life-threatening situation, where you'll be forced to create it, or die once again. If you die, you'll be reincarnated, so it's not a joke. Captain Hitsugaya's going to supervise this simulation, since you're under his care. For special cases like you, they usually create different situations, so be prepared!" I smiled, wishing her luck. Karin-chan wouldn't die twice that easily, for sure.
oOo
The three of us sat on the roof from two to eight in the morning. Lieutenant Matsumoto's voice could be heard as she sang in her shower. Ironically, Karin-chan and captain Hitsugaya's eyes both began to twitch. When they both noticed they were doing the same thing, Karin-chan stuck up her middle finger and rolled her eyes back to the lighting sky. It was this rude gesture that forced Captain Hitsugaya's departure. I followed him, warning him about the meeting, until Rangiku-san walked out of the hallway, her hair wrapped in a black towel, wearing a large shirt and underwear.
Captain Hitsugaya didn't seem affected by this, as he walked right past without a second glance. I waved nervously and started preaching again. His pace was especially fast, as I had to jog to keep up with his pace. Inside the office, he started pacing around his desk and mumbling little phrases. My body was plastered to the chair, eyes curiously watching him while he talked. "No reply… approved… leaving… soul…" These words kept escaping his perplexing thoughts. The moment he stopped pacing was when Renji, Ichigo, and Kira stepped into the office; Karin was wrapped under Ichigo's armpit, with an expression of rage. His head snapped up right when Renji uttered the word, 'Karin.' His eyes seemed to glow an unhealthy red.
I stood up, and motioned for Ichigo to let go of Karin-chan.
Karin-chan's thin body fell to the floor with a thump. I glared at Ichigo's shirtless chest angrily. I wasn't as tall, so his chest was head-level. Cursing, Karin-chan attempted to crawl up and shoot everyone. Kira, Renji, and Captain Hitsugaya had started talking. I lured Karin-chan away from the group with a few calls of, 'Hinamori-chan and Captain Hitsugaya's story…' This phrase immediately caught her attention, and soon enough, both of us were on the roof again. This spot was like a magnet for Karin-chan. She let her feet dangle off the edge, her head facing the sky.
"Rukia-san, this mess that Toshiro's in… Why can't he just go rescue her?"
I had thought my answer over carefully many times before. "Karin-chan," I placed my hand on her shoulder carefully, afraid of what her reaction would be once I started with Ichigo. "Toshiro's duties as a captain in the Gotei 13 are more important to him than friendship, love, and feelings. That's just the way society works; he wouldn't have become a captain if he relied on emotions. Ichigo relied on emotions; he was reckless, and because of that, I was saved. There's always a slim chance that all odd can be defied, but in Captain Hitsugaya and Hinamori-chan's case, that slim chance has been crushed to… something microscopic. Soul Society wants to get rid of Hinamori-chan, but not to kill her. Killing her would diminish their reputation. Instead, there's a process in which a soul will be locked and confined in a space until they're reincarnated. This space was made by General-Captain; it's a place where the soul is slowly weakened and destroyed. It's hard for Captain Hitsugaya; I'm sure it is, but this situation is much worse than my confinement."
"They were friends, right? Why can't he just give up being a captain and save her? If they were friends, he shouldn't just sit here and let this girl die!" I glimpse at Karin-chan's face confirmed she was this naïve to believe this statement. So naïve, so young, and so much potential that harbored what Ichigo believed.
I swallowed, trying to conceal my momentary lapse. "Karin-chan, if Captain Hitsugaya went looking for Hinamori-chan, than one or the other would die. He doesn't search for her, because he fears what would happen to her if he did. It's not because he doesn't want to. It's just… Captain Hitsugaya wants Hinamori-chan to live longer. He hates himself for not looking, and he would hate himself even more if he looked and made her die. You understand?"
Karin-chan was rocking back and forth, trying to think clearly. Her eyes were closed, tight. When she spoke, her voice seemed confused. "So what you're saying is that he sits and waits for her death, which is when he'll feel better? It's an odd love, if you ask me…" She lay like that for a minute, and let her breath out sharply. Chewing on tongue a bit, she started talking again, this time more cautious. "Rukia-san, this is a hypothetical question…"
"If Ichigo went back to Kurakara and started dating Orihime, would you be happy for them? Isn't it the same thing? Orihime likes Ichigo, and Ichigo's pretty close to her. You're a shinigami, and he could be just a normal guy one day… He knows that it would be better for him to love a… living girl, not a shinigami. Would you be OK to just sit back and watch this whole 'love story' happen?" Twiddling her thumb in her mouth, I stared at Karin-chan's faraway expression. It had never occurred to me whether or not Ichigo would start dating Inoue-san.
Never.
Weakly, I managed to reply. "Well, you see… I'm just Ichigo's friend; I sleep in his closet, tell him when Hollow are around, but sooner or later he'll find somebody else. I wouldn't violate any more laws. I'll just come back to Soul Society and watch Inoue-san and Ichigo…have a happy life." I broke off and looked at the sky, wondering if that's really how I felt. Abruptly, my thoughts were interrupted my Karin-chan's loud voice.
"I like you more than the Orihime girl. You've got more nerve and more backbone. You could definitely support Ichigo when he's slacking off, now that I'm dead. And that Orihime girl… acts like she thinks I'm a freaking four year old! You respect me, and I like that…" She glowered at the shingles; I looked at Karin-chan happily. Sadly, I always had a thought that Ichigo would choose the safer life. Marry his best female friend, have children, settle down, and die happily. It was… a predictable lifestyle.
oOo
Renji and Kira escorted Karin-chan to Nii-sama after the meeting. Captain Hitsugaya was laying his head on his desk, probably napping, in his office. I was talking to Ichigo, with my thoughts on Inoue-san. He was telling me that Captain Hitsugaya had said that we were going to play a soccer game for the sake of his dignity. I had laughed and continued thinking, until Ichigo's hand brushed my forehead and declared, "Rukia; you sad that I'm leaving?"
My eyebrows raised, angry he would actually think I would miss him. An image of Inoue-san's smiling face erupted in my head, and I flushed as another picture of Inoue-san and Ichigo kissing under a Sakura tree blossomed in my head. I slammed into Ichigo's neck and breathed out a cruel, "I'm completely ecstatic about you leaving. And you know what? I'm very happy for those Sakura trees that have to look at you and-" My eyes snapped wide open and I backed away. "you and your big mouth…" I finished off lamely. Pissed, I sighed and stared up at the bright sky. "I hate mornings. Karin-chan was right. Nights make you feel much better."
Ichigo stared at the sky as well. I glanced at him, angry that he'd tricked me into saying that. I was dead; Ichigo and Inoue-san were not. It was fine if they got together and started a new life together. I was perfectly happy to see them do so. In fact, I would come to their wedding and stand right in front of them when they kissed. That was how happy I was.
Ichigo approached me, somewhat confused about my reaction. "Hey, Rukia, I know you probably love it here in Soul Society. Just watch over Karin, all right? I want her to heal properly so she can come back safely. If she's stuck here with Renji and Kira for the rest of her… life… death… I don't think I'd have a guiltless life." His
He didn't mention my name. That was very confusing… It wasn't like I wasn't going to be staying here.
"Hey! I live in Soul Society too! What the hell? I'm going to have to stay in Soul Society for the rest of my death, but I'm just too small in your life to be mentioned?!" He looked surprised for a moment, but quickly apologized and tried to cover up his mistake.
"Right… Well, Rukia, I always thought you'd stay with me. I'd have to hunt Hollow for a damn long time, right?"
"You have Ishida-kun, Chad-kun, and Inoue-san… I'll just stay with you until you're ready. If I leave, then you're independent!" I stuck out my tongue and bumped his head with my fist. I kept the mood lighthearted for awhile, until I realized Rangiku-san was pressed against the brick wall, gazing at us happily. She waved when she saw me staring at her.
"Soccer game, right? Captain forgot to include me so I'll be the referee. You guys seem to be unhappy. What's up? Did Renji and Rukia-san finally start dating, or is 'Strawberry' having a hard time letting go of Rukia-san?" Ichigo's face turned scarlet with anger.
"Rangiku-san, shouldn't you be with Captain Hitsugaya?"
"Yeah, Toushiro needs your help. He said he had to sort things three times to make sure you didn't mess everything up in his paperwork." A pissed Ichigo was glaring quite viciously at the pretty, large-chested lady in front of us.
Rangiku-san's angelic face glowed angelically. She waved the comment off and smiled widely at me, "He was too uptight about Karin-chan's arrival that he forgot about me. I just listened to the whole meeting and found out about the soccer game. Ichigo, you'll be with Inoue-chan all alone, without Rukia-san, right?" This comment stopped the whole conversation completely.
Rangiku-san's vanilla perfume wafted around us even after she left. I heard the word, "Hormones," come out of her mouth as she walked away, but it was distinct. The last thing I needed to talk about was Inoue-san and Ichigo's relationship, dealing with hormones and such. I was saved by a 'crack' sound coming from the building. Relieved, Ichigo and I ran through the hallway and opened up captain Hitsugaya's office. Standing in the center of the room was captain Hitsugaya, awake, and staring at his cracked table. The desk had been slice in half, frozen, and was now cracking to little shards. He was shaking, still hazy and flickering between sleep.
Ichigo smacked the Captain's cheek, and within seconds, Captain Hitsugaya was fully awake, his hand wrapped around Ichigo's neck. "Do. Not. Do. That." Captain Hitsugaya whispered hoarsely, piercing daggers into Ichigo's sweating face. He dropped his hand and walked into the office's bathroom, splashing water into his face. I hadn't thought that Captain Hitsugaya sleepwalked, or even fought in his dreams, but maybe, being his age, he still had that in him.
oOo
Karin-chan returned back, eyes wide, and shaking. Nii-sama was very scary at times, and Karin-chan was very scared. Even Renji and Kira backed away when she slipped through the crowd, shivering and grasping the knob to her room. Captain Hitsugaya only raised his eyebrow and returned to work. In a matter of minutes, though, Karin-chan had changed into her shinigami uniform, and was practicing her kicks and punts outdoors.
Giving a stare at Ichigo, Captain Hitsugaya walked out to the courtyard and picked up the punted ball. "Let's start, then."
Lieutenant Matsumoto's prediction came true. She was referee. Karin-chan and Captain Hitsugaya chose their teammates carefully. Oddly, Karin-chan chose Kira first, and smiled widely at him. He seemed quite comfortable around her. Captain Hitsugaya chose me without a second thought, claiming I was better to handle than Ichigo or Renji. Kira pointed to Ichigo, and Karin-chan chose her brother. Renji was obviously confused why he was the last choice.
The two goals were the two fences enclosing the courtyard and living quarters from the rest of the world. Karin-chan had taken the liberty to draw equally large boxes on each side of the fence, saying that would be the goalie's box. Flipping a coin, Captain Hitsugaya, smugly, got the kick-off. Karin-chan ordered her brother as the offence and Kira as defense. Captain Hitsugaya pulled Renji down to defense and himself as offence, forcing me to run everywhere as mid-fielder, same as Karin-chan.
Kira's defense was good, but there were definite cracks, as we had scored three points already. Renji was so used to playing offence; he had no idea how to block against Karin and Ichigo's kicks. He was careless, and a little messy, but by halftime, the score was three to two, us leading. Karin-chan was barking orders at Ichigo and Kira, determined to win. They had decided that Karin would play goalie, while Kira and Ichigo played offence, leaving her by herself. Captain Hitsugaya didn't change his positions and continued through the game.
The result of Karin becoming goalie was a success. For her, of course. Ichigo and Kira teamed up on Renji, making it nearly impossible for him to block the kicks. Captain Hitsugaya hadn't made a single goal since Karin-chan had become a goalie. She was fiercely determined on thwarting him, but I managed to make a few. The last few minutes of the game were amazing, though. Although we were down by one, the score being six to five, Captain Hitsugaya seemed to be resolute on his decision to win (or at least tie). Ichigo and Kira were celebrating their victory already, having lined up on either side of Karin-chan, not making a move to try and shoot more goals.
Karin-chan's smirk was unmistakable as I kicked off. This time, Captain Hitsugaya's moves were faster, a fierce look burning in his eyes. He slipped around Kira and Ichigo, narrowly missing Kira's foot. A few yards in front of Karin-chan, his foot started burning with reiatsu. Using his right foot, he knocked it into the air and pushed it forward, gazing at Karin-chan's figure. She was timing the jump she was about to make. Karin-chan wasn't even looking at Captain Hitsugaya. He had flash-stepped in front of her, and knocked her over, before she had time to reach her arms above her head.
The ball landed a few feet away from the goal, and silently, he pushed it in.
Rangiku-san stared, horrified at what her captain had just done. The clock rang loudly, and clicking it shut, she rushed over to the fallen figure. Without a second glance at Captain Hitsugaya, I grabbed Ichigo and Renji, and tramped over to her. Karin-chan had been pulled to the ground by her ankles, so her head had landed pretty hard on the ground. She seemed dizzy, and was talking very strangely. Walking unsteadily, she seemed drunk.
"Toushiro, I…had a ... little...l-little feeling 'bout that Hina... Hinamori thing… You love your honor and pride more….more than…" A hiccup escaped her throat. "More than love. Yup… That's why you just freaking slammed me to the ground!" At this point, she seemed like a drunk and crazy little kid. "Forget what I said about rescuing her! Just move on, for God's sake! Forget about the damn person and move on! You're a messed up kid with messed up feelings, and you're going to mess everyone up around you!" She giggled and choked on her spit. "I win… right?" She gazed up at Rangiku-san.
Rangiku-san nodded her head quickly and tried to carry her back inside.
"How long until we have to leave?" Ichigo's voice pierced through the shocked silence that had befallen after Karin-chan had been knocked out. "I want to stay here until she regains consciousness." He pushed through all of us and followed Karin-chan into the hallway.
oOo
Author's Note: I'm a few days late with this update, but I've added more to the story. Romance has turned up, and next chapter will be from Shirou's point of view, OK? I haven't had time to really edit through everything, so if there's something wrong, please forgive me. I'm usually pretty good with grammar, but I'm not so good with time limits. I'm being rushed with my Chinese studies, so updates might be a little worse. Also, in the next chapter, Hinamori's going to be writing for a few paragraphs. Karin and Rukia have school starting; Ichigo and Orihime have their little 'love' going one, and so forth. So what about the Hollow I invented? It's been introduced, if you've been wondering. Please review! I freaking adore reviews, favorites, alerts, etc. But please review, alright?