AN: I know, I suck for taking so long. Who knew this would be so difficult as there are so many fanfics out but you never know until you try. I swear I will work to update on a more regular basis. Also, I'll start posting a song list as I live off my music.

It's a total fubar.

I don't think I have ever run to my car that fast ever. There was a new record in the 20 meter dash that day. All I needed were some hurdles and I'd be an Olympic gold winner. It was easy to pull my car out as it was at the very edge of the guests' cars. Carlisle was anal that way and wanted to make sure they had the best spots. This was probably the first, last and only time I would thank Carlisle.

Quickly throwing the car into to gear I slammed into reverse and peeled out of the driveway. Once I was on my way I turned on the stereo for some much needed music relief. Oh the wonderfulness that it iPod. It was easy to crank up some Stone Sour who always had a great combination of angry and deep. Luckily Jasper's house wasn't too far so I wasn't too worried about getting pulled over for speeding or for driving a bit drunk. As I swerved on the turn I decided maybe I was more than a bit drunk but at least it was a head start. That cloud and its wonderful silver lining.

I quickly pulled into Jasper's house and went up the front stairs. His door never seemed to be locked so I was able to just walk right in. The house was big, though not as over the top as Carlisle's, and I knew my way around from practically living here. Jasper's parents were pretty relaxed and as long as everyone was safe and they didn't mind company. It was just a quick walk to the basement where everyone usually hung out. There was probably more space down here than anywhere else in the house and according to Jasper it didn't desecrate his room. My opinion was that he was just worried someone would puke on his precious books but I kept that to myself.

It was becoming a desperate situation rapidly as I needed booze, drugs something to get my mind over those beautiful eyes and luscious body. Luckily a wonderful sight greeted me once I entered the basement, Jasper with a full bottle of whisky in one hand and vodka in the other. He looked at me with a concerned expression and said,

'So, fubar. Here's something that should bring things back under control. Or you'll get so drunk you might forget all about it.'

Jasper was just an amazing friend like this. He always knew what my mood was and what to do about it, though I never did figure out how. As per usual he was in a pair of jeans and cowboy boots. Jasper had spent most of his life going between Forks and Texas where he spent time with all his relatives. The drawl seemed to stick no matter what and many a girl just about fainted from it. It didn't hurt that they all told him how good looking he was. Blond, slightly wavy hair and bright blue eyes were the first things all the girls noticed. While many guys would be creeped out thinking that their best friend was good looking it didn't bother me at all. It was mainly because between the two of us we had the bulk of the female population panting around us. We were each other's best wingmen and it was wonderful.

'Jasper, man, I don't think there is enough alcohol in the town of Forks to make me forget but doesn't mean I won't try damn hard.'

'Edward, you know if you want to talk about it' cutting him off, 'Jasper that's not happening tonight. Besides, when did you get all sensitive and girly on me. Getting in touch with your feminine side?" was my snarky reply.

'Well, I am enough of a man, unlike certain people, that doesn't mind admitting it. Besides my feminine side agrees with me and likes girls just as much as me.'

I sighed and gave up on the verbal sparring. Jasper won more times than not and I was just not in the mood tonight. It was surprising how shaken I felt and even though I tried to blame it on Carlisle I knew better. This was all about her. I never had someone so under my skin and only in a matter of minutes. The thought scared me and I took a large gulp out of the whiskey bottle to try and calm myself.

Finally looking around I noticed there was the usual crowd of random girls trying to get Jasper's and now my attention. How he found them was beyond me but I wasn't one to question a good thing. Walking over to the couch I dropped down next to a brunette chick and offered her the bottle as I was just a gentleman like that. She happily took a swig and taking that gesture as an invitation I moved closer to her side. Gently taking the bottle from her hands I slowly leaned over and moved to kiss her. She smiled her agreement and I pushed my lips into hers, quickly slipping my tongue into her mouth. I tasted the whiskey she had just drunk and pushed for more.

Then I did something stupid. I opened my eyes and looked at her. It wasn't her, wasn't Bella's beautiful face in front of me. I quickly pulled away startling the girl I had been kissing so strongly just a second ago. She looked at me and huffed her annoyance. Please, like I gave a shit she was annoyed. She should be happy for the attention in the first place.

Not willing to deal with her nasty glares I got up and walked away. Jasper looked at me and said, 'This is beyond fubar isn't it?' I just couldn't say a fucking word and settled for nodding my head. He sighed, pushed the vodka bottle at me and just told me we'd talk in the morning.

The rest of the evening was an alcohol induced blur. Someone, most likely Jasper, got me upstairs into the guest bedroom, took off my shoes and tossed me onto the bed. When I woke up a few hours later I noticed I was freezing and went to pull the covers over me. Out of the corner of my eye I swore I saw movement and jumped up. There was no one there but the window was open even though I thought it had been shut. Too tired too care I just fell back into the bed and passed out quickly.

**********************************************

There seemed to be horribly bright light on my face and my mouth felt like I had eaten cat litter. That damn window I left open was letting the sun shine directly on my face. It took me a second to realize where I was but once I did I jogged to the bathroom. Thank God I knew where it was and could just stumble into the shower without thinking. Scorching hot water started the process of making me more awake and hopefully coffee would do the rest.

I still had to get home and deal with Carlisle and who knew what was going to happen this time. It was probably time to get the bike out of the garage as I am so losing the car. Stepping out of the shower I toweled off, feeling a bit better.

When I stuck my head out of the bathroom there was that heavenly scent, coffee, yum. Running downstairs I got to the kitchen and was proud of myself for not falling over from this horrible headache. Jasper handed me a mug of coffee and I dove into the sweet nectar, not caring if I burnt my tongue.

'Listen Jasper, I know you deserve an explanation and I will give you one. Just not right now. I still have to face the wrath of Carlisle for last night and just get my brain in the right place.'

Jasper cocked one eyebrow at me questioningly. I had never tried to avoid stuff with him and found it easier to tell him. He knew my moods better than I did sometimes and crappy stuff like this just flowed easier.

'O.K. man. If you want to talk later, we'll talk later. Just don't think that I'm letting you off the hook because it's just not happening.'

I sighed, relieved that I didn't have to deal with this now. Besides how do you even start to explain the electricity, the feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that won't go away not matter how much you drink. All because of a pair of eyes and one look, I felt damned and saved at the same time. Damnation I was used to. Salvation was impossible, should be impossible. But those eyes.

Ideas, thoughts, opinions anyone? Review and let me know what you thought, if there are any ideas you have. As always it's a wonder and delight that you guys actually do read this and it still puts a smile on my face