I actually do exist. It has been too long since the last update and I feel pretty crappy for that. Life can be so preoccupying sometimes and I am easily distracted. After reading some fics where there was no end and no update in sight I decided to get my ass moving. Or in this case typing.
Damnation I was used to. Salvation was impossible, should be impossible. But those eyes.
The house looked deserted compared to yesterday. If I was lucky Carlisle had a conference or meeting to go to and would have time to calm down. I quietly pulled my car into the driveway and started to walk slowly toward the door.
"Edward!"
Oh crap. Guess he was home. It was time to face the music because it would only get worse if I ignored him.
"Hey Carlisle. What's up?"
He glared at me and started to rant. I was going to ruin his career, if his new acquisition left it would be my fault, blah blah blah. It was easier to just sit back and let it flow over me. I used to pay attention, I used to try and change, but it just wasn't worth it. Nothing became better, nothing changed. Carlisle's face was getting redder and redder so I knew it was coming close to the end, time to start paying attention.
"So this is what you are going to do Edward. You are going to go to her house and anything she asks you to do to help get her settled in. I don't care if you are scrubbing floors, if you have your face in the dirt or whatever horrible or demeaning task she has for you. You will do it with no questions asked and will fucking smile," Carlisle said with a growl.
This was a new occurrence because I usually got yelled at and then just had to apologize a lot in the end. It was the first time I actually was going to enjoy a punishment and really mean the apology.
"I'll be there bright and early tomorrow. I am sorry that I might have embarrassed Isabella in front of company."
"That's Ms. Swan, Edward. I know your mother raised you with better manners than that. At least I hope she has."
As per usual I felt my anger rise up at the possible insult to my mother, real or foster. This just wasn't the right time though so I did my best to let it go. Carlisle was giving me a reason to see her and for that I could be a bit nicer. I think.
"Yeah, yeah, Ms. Swan. Got it."
I tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace. Carlisle accepted the win and left me standing there, heading into his office to do who knows what with his time. Finally the real smile, the one I was finding seemed just for Isabella, came out. I was going to see her tomorrow, with parental approval no less. For once I found myself hoping she had tons of work for me to do. I couldn't wait for tomorrow to arrive.
***************
That night I dreamed for the first time in a long time. Well, I assume I dream but I never remember them, only thing I remember is waking up in a cold sweat, terrified out of my mind. I think that's why I spend most nights either drunk or stoned so I can't wake up that way. While most girls thought I wouldn't let them stay over because I was douche it was actually because of those nightmares. There was no way I was going to let some Forks bitch see me like that. Being an asshole I could accept, not a wuss.
I was in the middle of the forest in my favorite meadow. Getting lost on one of my walks had me find the best place in this entire fucking town. It was roughly circular with random flowers scattered about, and the sun shining clear and warm. My hand was wrapped around a smaller one and I knew it was Isabella's. I pulled her into my meadow and into my arms. She whispered in my ear how beautiful it was and how perfect. My face went right into her hair, breathing in her intoxicating smell.
We continued to walk hand-in-hand to the center of the meadow and once there laid down. She was so beautiful that she fucking sparkled in the sunlight. I leaned over her carefully and looked deeply into her eyes.
'I love you so fucking much' I softly whispered.
'I love you too my beautiful boy' she whispered back.
Just as I was about to kiss her she slid out from under me and ran merrily off. If it's a chase she wants it's a chase she'll get. We darted about like a bunch of crazies until I was able to reach out and tackle her to the ground. Making sure we landed softly I leaned in to claim my prize. Her lips were soft and warm, moving with mine. I delicately licked them, silently asking for permission to deepen the kiss. She eagerly complied and opened her mouth with a moan. We battled for a time till I won out and explored her mouth with my tongue. The small moans and sounds she made turned me on so badly I thought I would combust.
We moved closer together as if any space between our bodies would be too much. The only way to be closer was to be inside her and I needed to feel that connection. As I started to push up her shirt she looked me straight in the eye and lovingly said, "Wake the fuck up!"
Next thing I know my body was thrown from my bed onto the floor. It was a dream, only a dream, but it had felt so real. The wood I was sporting told me how real it felt.
'Emmett, what the fuck are you doing!'
'I trying to keep your ass from getting kicked by Dad. Remember you have to be at Ms. Swan's house today? If you don't get out of bed fast you'll be late. You're in enough trouble already.'
'I'm moving, I'm moving. ' I was mumbling and grumbling all the way to the shower till the realization hit me. I was going to spend the day with Isabella. The entire day just basking in her, hopefully, solitary presence. I suddenly remembered my dream and the look on her face, the loving, adoring look. With that beautiful image in my head I ran into the shower hoping to get ready and out of here quickly. For the first time in a long time I was actually looking forward to the day.
Just a few recommendations because I read way, way too much:
Wicked Angel by DevilishPleasures. It's brand spanking new but one chapter was enough to have me hopping around the house.
Devil's Angel by ObsessingOverEdward. Edward in leather on a motorcycle. Need I say more.
Please oh please review even though I know I don't deserve since being away so long.