This is for the people who reviewed! Thanks! Hope you like it!!
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Edward, that everything had been a lie. I realized I was outside the movie theater. I reached for my cell phone. I didn't know who to call. I finally settled for my dad. Because I was shaking, the first time I dialed too many numbers. On the third attempt, I got the correct number.
"Hello?" My dad's animated voice answered. For a moment, I was hesitant about telling him about what happened. I didn't want to stain his cheeriness with my depressive state. If I lied he would see right through my lies and I really needed to talk to someone. So, after a second of silently pondering this, I answered.
"Dad? I really need you to come get me, please." Even I could hear the desperation in my voice.
"Bella? Are you okay?What's wrong?" He sounded so worried I considered trying to lie but I quickly pushed that thought out of my mind.
"Dad, please just come get me. I'll tell you on the way home."
Twenty minutes later, Charlie arrived at the movie theater. I didn't realize I was still crying. Charlie looked horror-struck. I quickly got into the cruiser.
"Bells, um, are you sure you're okay?" He sounded very nervous. I was confident he had no experience with this kind of situation.
"No, dad, I'm not okay. I just broke up with Edward. Can we please just go home? I don't want to talk about it."
"OK. Well, if you need to talk, I'm here."
"Thanks. Wait, you didn't call mom, did you?" My mom would freak out and demand my return to Phoenix if she found out about this.
"No, I didn't. I wasn't sure about what happened so I didn't call. I thought I could handle the situation." He mumbled th last part.
"Are you implying that you can't handle the situation?" He knew I meant it as a rhetoric question. We didn't speak for the rest of the way home. I didn't allow myself to think about Edward. I wasn't very successful. Memories of every kiss and every touch kept breaking through my weak barrier. They always ended in the same horrid place. Edward and Tanya's kiss. Suddenly, the cruiser stopped. I looked out the window and saw that we were already home. I slowly climbed off the cruiser. My foot was on the first step when Charlie called me. "Bells, are you sure you okay?"
"I'll live. Right now, I think I'll just go to sleep." I replied
"OK, then. Good night." when I got to my room I slammed the door behind me and locked it. I didn't want Charlie to see me like this. I threw myself on the bed and started crying I chided myself for this but I couldn't stop. The pain was taking over me and I could do nothing to stop it. I felt empty like there was nothing inside me. I turned over and saw my Ipod on my bedside table. I put the headphones in my ears turned up the volume all the way. I wanted to drown everything out. After a few minutes, I felt myself relax and my eyes dry. Then Edward's song come on. The one he had recorded and given to me for our 1 month anniversary. I couldn't stop the from overflowing my eyes and pain from ripping me apart. I started to sob violently. I threw my Ipod and it landed with a soft thud on the floor. I cried my self to sleep. Even in my sleep, Edward was there. I awoke several times. It wasn't until the early morning hours that I sank into a dreamless slumber.
I woke up with puffy, red eyes. The digital clock on my bedside table read 1:03 P.M. It didn't feel very late, but I had slept well into the afternoon. I slowly got up and stretched. I walked t the bathroom and nearly screamed when I saw my face in the mirror. My eyes were huge and an unattractive shade of red. My hair was a big, tangled mess atop my head. I quickly brushed my teeth. I reached for my hair brush but decided against it. First, I needed to shower. The steaming hot water was extremely comforting. It relaxed my muscles. I stayed in the sower until the water started to cool down. I got out and dried myself. I went to room and put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I went to the bathroom to brush my hair. I grabbed my brush and attacked the pile of knots. After several cries of pain and broken bristles my hair was somewhat decent. I was unsurprised to see that the house was empty. I went into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. I st down at the table ans started eating. I didn't know what lay ahead of me for the day. I felt like doing nothing and just stay in bed. I heard my phone ringing upstairs. I got up an climbed the stairs but by the time I got to my room the call had gone to my voicemail. It began to ring again. Someone must be desperate to talk to me. I froze when the name Edward crossed my mind. What if it was him? I couldn't bring myself to talk to him. After a few seconds of deliberation, I decided to answer. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Alice's name on the screen. "Hello?"
"Bella, are you okay? Edward told me what he did to you. I cannot believe he did that. I beat him until he started crying." She said rapidly. She sounded very angry. I felt a little scared. Only God knew what she was capable of.
"You did what?"
"I beat him."
"You literally beat him? Why?"
"What mean why? Bella, he used you, he broke up with you in the worst way possible, he broke your heart and he made you cry." she sounded extremely harsh. She was right. It didn't surprise me that she knew I had been crying.
I know but you didn't have to hurt him. At least not physically." As much as I hated myself for it, I didn't want Edward to be in pain.
"Bella, I'm on the way to your house, is that okay? I figured you were gonna need me." Her voice was gentle.
"Yes, it's okay. Just hurry up. I really need you." After that the line went dead. I was sure she would hear the wide range of emotions in my voice. Sadness being the most prominent. I slowly went downstairs. There was some dread creeping into me. I knew Alice wanted to see me happy, but I feared what she would do to lift my ominous mood. I didn't have to wait long to find out. A couple of minutes later there was a knock at the door. I walked to the door and took a deep breath before opening it. There stood Alice and as soon as she saw me she threw her arms around me. As if on cue, my eyes overflowed with tears. Alice pulled back to look me up and down. She frowned at what she saw.
"I am going to murder him." She murmured angrily. I didn't know what to say. I had honestly thought she was going to take Edward's side. I wondered if his family knew about what had happened and what they thought about the situation. Alice answered my unspoken question.
"Everybody knows what he did. No one is talking to him. Esme was really upset. They wanted to come and apologize but I convinced that it would be better if I came alone.
"Why did they want to apologize?" I was confused the Cullens had nothing to do with this.
"Well, they feel guilty. I do, too."
"Alice! No! It is not your fault. Tell Esme and everybody else it is not their fault."
"Well, you might have to tell Esme that yourself. She might not believe me." She began to go up the stairs. I quickly followed. She entered my room and picked up my Ipod. She turned around and gave me s strange look. She examined the small electronic device more closely and looked up to give me a sympathetic look. "Bella, did you do this?"
"Um, yes, I did." I shrugged, blushing. She put my Ipod on my bedside table and she came back to where i was standing and guided me to my bed. When the back I knees hit the mattress, my legs buckled and I slumped down on it. Alice sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me. I began to sob violently. After a long time, my eyes began to dry. I got up and went to the bathroom. I splashed my face with cool water. I scrubbed the saltwater off of my face. My face felt raw. I went back to my room and saw that Alice was looking at my closet. That could only mean one thing.
"Alice, please, I don't want to go shopping today. This isn't the time."
"Come one. It's the perfect time. You need a distraction. I swear I won't buy you anything you don't like. I'll even let you choose everything."
"You swear?"
"Yes," With that we left the house and headed to Port Angeles. We sat in the car completely silent. Alice knew I was not in the mood to talk. We arrived at the mall and made our way in. Her eyes started to shine when we entered the first story. I could tell she was very excited. I decided not to hold her back. I knew if I let her have her way, she would buy enough clothes to last me a lifetime. I also knew that all the clothes would keep last night off my mind.
"Alice, you know what? Go ahead and buy me whatever you want. I won't hold you back." Instead of answering she ran to the nearest display. I was glad there was someone who got enjoyment out of this. She did not allow me to see the price tags. She knew I didn't like people spending money one me. The distraction somewhat worked. Whenever my thoughts were veered towards Edward, they were quickly erased by Alice shoving vast piles clothing at me. I modeled hundreds of outfits for her. She bought me a whole new wardrobe, which, according to her, would make me feel better. When I asked how this worked, she said it would make me look better, thus making me feel better. We left the mall a couple of minutes before it closed. It was already dark and the drive home was exactly like drive to the mall. I looked out the window and I saw endless black. As always, Alice was driving too fast. The outlines of trees flew past us. When we reached my house, Alice finally broke the silence. "Bella?"
"Yes?" a answered uncertainly. She sounded nervous which was rare for her.
"Are you going to school tomorrow?" I stared at her, confused. "Edward is going to be there." I hadn't thought about that. I shrugged and got out of the car. Alice opened the trunk and I lifted the bags out of it. I began to walk towards the front door. I turned to wave a goodbye to Alice but saw that her car already speeding down the street. I went inside and was greeted by a worried and angry Charlie.
"Bella, where were you? I was worried sick, young lady!"
"I'm sorry, Dad. I went shopping with Alice. I had to clear my mind."
His face quickly relaxed. "Oh, okay."
"Yeah, well, I'm gonna turn in early."
I went upstairs and into my room. I didn't feel like putting away all the clothes so I put the bags in my closet. I changed into my sweatpants and t-shirt. I didn't realize I was so tired until my head hit the pillow. This time I was not tormented by images of him.
The next morning, I was grateful that I had been able to sleep peacefully. The things that I had to face terrified me. Maybe, I thought, I could convince Charlie to let me stay home. With that idea in mind, I got up and went downstairs. Charlie was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal.
"Hey, Dad? I was wondering if I could stay home today." I was not sure of his response.
"Are you sick?"
"Well, no but I really don't want to go to school today. I don't want to face Edward." I had never been this open with Charlie. I hoped that if he could see how I truly felt he would sympathize me.
"Bella, look, I may not have experience with parenting but I have experienced a heart break. I know you really liked him but you cant let that or him take over your life. When your mother left me, I didn't stay home and refuse to go to work. I moved on and you should do the same."
I was stunned. Charlie had never said anything like that. He was as uncomfortable with sharing his feelings as I was. I never realized that Charlie's feelings for my mom were that strong. I kept my eyes down as I spoke, "you're right. I'm going to go get ready for school."
I quickly headed to my room and got ready. I didn't pay attention to what I put on. Ten minutes later, I went into the kitchen and found it empty, Charlie already gone for the day. I went outside and climbed I to my truck. I found the roaring noise of the engine quite comforting.
The whole way to school I was dreading seeing Edward and Tanya. I hadn't thought about Tanya much, but I realized that they would be a couple now. I thought about turning around and not go to school, but I knew that if I was absent, word would spread quickly and somebody would tell Charlie. When I arrived at school, Alice was by my side in an instant. I gave her a grateful smile. She knew how hard it was for me to be here. We quickly walked to my first class and talked until the bell rang. Time seemed to fly by. I was beginning to freak out. The lunch bell was about to ring and I was sure I would see him. When the bell rang, I gathered my things, trying to take as long as I could. I heard the door open and turned around to be greeted by a smiling Alice. " What is taking you long?"
"Nothing. Just getting my stuff." I murmured.
"Well, then, come on, let's go. I'm kinda hungry."
We walked towards the cafeteria. I was extremely nervous about what I was about to see. Alice squeezed my hands as a sign of assurance. I was sure she could feel the waves of anxiety coming off of me.
As I entered the cafeteria, I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering. I saw what I had been dreading to see all day, Edward and Tanya together. When they realized I was looking at them, Tanya sneered and Edward simply looked away. He doesn't even have the guts to look at me, I thought furiously. I was surprised at my sudden outburst of anger. I realized that beneath all the pain there was rage. I was furious that he had used me for such a low purpose. At my side, Alice was standing looking furiously at her brother. It was obvious she also wasn't happy about it but I knew she didn't feel a fraction of all the emotions that had flooded me when we entered the cafeteria.
"Come on, Bella. Lets go get something to eat." She broke my reverie.
"Yeah, okay." I wasn't all that hungry so I only got a soda. Lunch proceeded without much ado. We didn't feel the need to fill the silence surrounding us. I was mostly thinking about that sudden rage I had felt earlier. I was infuriated that he had led me on but was also mad at myself for falling for it and being so naïve. The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful. I saw some people giving me strange looks. They were somehow almost sympathetic. I was glad there was only three weeks of school left.
The days passed without notice. At school, it seemed like everyone was avoiding me. Everyone except Alice, that is. Everyday she tried to cheer me up but id never been able to really smile. I was extremely grateful that I had someone to count on. Charlie was worried, too. He had tried to cheer me up, too. He had gone as far as trying to cook for me, but when the fire alarm went off, I told him to leave all the cooking to me. And then there was Edward. Every time I saw him, I felt like someone had punched my gut, Tanya was with him most of the time, draped across him like a human scarf. My mom asked me if I needed to fly here but every time she offered I refused. I didn't want to drag my mother into my misery.
Everyday that passed brought graduation closer and with that college loomed closer. The thought of getting away from all this looked brighter everyday. I would mis Alice, of course, but I would not miss the pain that seeing Edward brought me. Besides Alice, my friends hadn't spoken to me I weeks, but I wasn't aware of my surroundings. The effort it took to numb the pain did not leave room for anything else. I could see that my lack of response was worrying Charlie, but there was nothing I could do. I attempted to throw myself into school with no success. It would keep me busy for a short while but there was only so much homework that was assigned.
Before I knew it, graduation was upon me. Alice had dragged me to prom and many shopping sprees. The summer was about to begin and I would leave for Dartmouth. My flight was leaving early the next morning. I was looking forward to leave all the bad memories behind. I was anxious to fly away from the place that brought me so much pain and where everything reminded me of him. But it also hurt. It hurt to leave Charlie behind and the small town where I grew up. Not seeing Alice would also be hard. She was going to a school on L.A. for fashion design. The ceremony was held in the gym. As I walked across the stage, I saw a sea of faces that had known since I was a baby. I saw Charlie's eyes, which were full of tears. I saw the pride on my mother's eyes, who had flown in from Florida. For the first time in months, I managed to truly smile. After the ceremony, we went put to dinner and celebrated my graduating and had somewhat of a going-away party. We returned home early, for I had to wake up early to catch my flight. I looked around my room and it empty walls brought tears to my eyes. I was leaving. The bags were packed and my bed was the only sign that the room had once been occupied.
I woke early the next morning to the noise of someone cooking breakfast. It was dark outside for the sun had not yet risen. I went downstairs and saw that there was a breakfast already made for me. I quickly ate and Charlie helped me load all things into the cruiser. My mom was meeting us at the airport to say our final goodbyes. We drove to port Angeles in a comfortable silence. I looked at the window and for the last time admired the beautiful forest that surrounded me. Once we got to the airport, we saw my mom and walked towards the gate.
"I can't believe my little girl is growing up so fast," my mom said it tears in her eyes. I began to cry and we hugged. Charlie gave me an awkward one arm. He whispered an I love you and with that I turned and walked towards the gate. I looked back and waved to the people who had brought me into the world, but it was the last time I turned back. I boarded the plane and left everything behind. All the pain and stress. I only took the happy memories. It was the beginning of my new life, one where there was no looking back.