I still hadn't gotten used to being Assistant Manager, and realized that I had even more responsibility accounted to me since my old position. All I really wanted to do was go home and sleep and eat ice cream and watch an Adam Sandler movie, but I forced myself to drive my car until that old familiar flickering Books&Lattes sign coasted into view. I sighed as I slowly parked into a spot a little ways off from the normal, not wanting the usual place where people would spot me out and flock towards me with questions that still were unanswered. Although I loved it to death, I hated my job.
Slowly, I yanked the polo over my head, over my red tee, and heaved myself up out of the low seat. I walked to the entrance, and was passing between two cars when I noticed Leland's figure not far in the distance, heading towards… me? Oh no, he couldn't be… he was?!
I so didn't need the drama, but my feet froze in their place.
Oh, great…I groaned internally. He would think I was even more bipolar since my eyes must have been terribly inflamed, apparently for no reason. He just didn't know.
Finally, he came into sight, a bit hesitantly, and walked up to me, an aberrant shy look on his face.
"Hey, Etain… what's going on?" he asked conversationally.
What in the…? A couple of seconds ago I wasn't feeling up to it, a little scared by his totally uncharacteristic hospitality, but strangely, I felt compelled to be a little nicer to him. So, so weird.
"Noth- …a lot." I phrased. "Why the sudden… urge to be kind?" I asked, a little acid seeping into my voice, my voice cracking from the last fit of tears.
"Yeah, well, um… I wanted to say… sorry." He answered, his dignity level seeming to lower by an inch.
I chuckled in disbelief. Was he really…?
"I'm sorry, you what?" I pushed, not believing my ears.
"I said… I'm sorry, for… all the crap I spit out a few months ago. I didn't mean it… and… for everything else, too. I just, well, I don't know if it even had a real reason to it." He laughed, as if he thought it was funny.
I paused. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I never thought I'd live to see it. Something inside of me clicked, the little me hidden deep within, the person that actually longed to put away my differences with Leland, and get over. She had been smothered by the much bigger me, the one filled with resentment and irritation, but I could feel her growing inside. I could feel that things were going to change. I looked up at him once again and saw something: a new friendship. I finally felt like we could make this alliance work, even after what he'd done. He seemed pretty sincere, the first real tint to his cheeks I'd seen, ever.
Then, I was annoyed.
"…If it had a real reason to it? Of course it did! You never wanted to talk to me! Or smile, for that matter…" I growled impatiently.
"What? You never wanted to talk to me! Of course I wasn't just going to walk up and look likes an idiot! I didn't know if you liked me or not! I mean, you were the one seeming to frown all the time!" He argued.
"Well, that's just dumb, because if I remember, you were the one being all rude the first day I applied here! What was I going to do?" I spat back.
"The first day you applied here… wow. I don't even remember that… oh, wait… you mean… you remember that?" He asked incredulously, his deep voice, which I now realized was actually very attractive, rose up an octave.
"Well, yeah!" I defended. Suddenly, his tenor seemed to slow a bit, and he answered now with a sense of calm, as I continued to look at my feet.
"I was only mad that day because… because…"
I glanced up and saw a distant look come over him as he unexpectedly grabbed onto the car behind me for support, seeming dizzy all of a sudden.
"Leland…Leland are you okay?" I asked, distressed.
Suddenly, he shook his head as if he were coming out of a trance, and looked directly into my eyes, piercing me with his burning yellow irises of his.
"Move. We have to move. Now!" he commanded, as he pulled me roughly to him, and rushed the both of us to the door of the store, his arm guiding me to a little nook that rested just by the entrance of the store.
I was scared and confused, not knowing what was going on.
"Leland, what's happening?" I begged for him to let me know.
"Cover your eyes! Just do it, now!" I did what I was told and shielded myself with my bag as he pulled me closer to him. I felt a moan in his chest tickle my cheek as he seemed to brace himself for whatever was coming, our bodies now sunken to the ground, curling up to each other.
First there was unimaginable, eerie silence. Nothing could've been happening, I mean, what was going on in Leland's head to make him think something was-
But just before I could finish my thought and even move towards removing my bag from over my face, I heard the sound of accelerating tires and metal, screeching against each other, a roaring sound. Next, wheels sliding noisily against concrete, struggling to brake. Then, a deafening crash, an explosion that blew against us with the force of a tornado, and debris hitting us like angry birds, cutting, scraping, relentlessly bringing pain to every surface of exposed skin, hit us with amazing force. The glass of the store pre-section burst behind us, and it all happened in a few seconds.
Finally, things quieted from what they were, but it was no where near peaceful. I slowly, shakily looked from behind my canvas bag and Leland's arm around me to see a horrid, shocking sight: A large, red van, now in the shape of a deformed, twisted accordion, pieces of metal and rubber burning in a large blazing fire, and a teenage guy laying unconscious, trapped in a driver's seat that was half-way out of the car, halfway wedged in the door. His body lay limply amongst the burning, cackling car parts.
He was dead.
I felt a shrieking sob erupt from my torso as I registered what I was seeing: a nightmarish car accident come to life, a true horror movie, and my body only shook harder with noisy bawling when I realized it had been exactly where Leland and I had been standing.
Exactly.
The cuts and scrapes on my arm that were now beginning to sting suddenly seemed like nothing in comparison to what could've become my fate.
I pushed my head deeper into Leland's chest, probably soaking his shirt, as he pulled me closer, and the fire raged louder and louder, quickly consuming the innocent boy who lay inside. I couldn't stop crying. It was something I'd hoped to never see in my life, unraveling right before my eyes. And Leland and I had almost been the ones dead, along with the driver. Almost… but Leland… saved us.
Just as I was about to worry myself about it, I heard screams of terror, and loud shouts as people came to stare at the accident, phones quickly flying open do dial 911. Soon, Leland slowly pulled me up to my feet, my legs feeling like jelly, and lifted me up, guiding me to the side of the bookstore to stay out of the way, as he dialed a number at light speed and raised it to his ear.
"Are you okay?" he inquired, concern written on his face.
"No." I blubbered honestly, my voice sounding high with tears again, turning my face into his chest again, not wanting to direct my eyes to the horror that was in front of us. There was just too much drama, too much crying in one day for me.
The blaze in the fire roared fiercely, a cloud of black smoke rising up slowly from the heap of metal, the heat flushing Leland's face. We backed up a little.
I heard him mumble something hurriedly to whoever he was talking to, and felt his arms tighten around me, an amazingly comforting position. Why was he being so… kind to me? Most guys would be awkward in this situation, but he was impressively deft and comfortable in this stressed situation. It was just what I needed in my time of pain. I appreciated the softness and warmth of his chest, and tried to push out everything else, needing to calm myself.
Finally, the yell of fire truck sirens rushed closer and louder to the scene, and soon men were shouting and giving orders, taking control of the situation.
What a day… what a freaking day… I thought exasperatedly… exhausted.
Soon, I gathered my emotions once again, pulled out my cell phone, and dialed my mom to let her know what happened and that I was safe, while I stayed close to Lee. She sounded worried, and told me she was coming home right now, and for me to get home quickly, to meet her there.
I explained to Leland that I had to go, but before I did, I thanked him.
"… For everything, for saving my life." I said, gratified.
"No problem…" he said calmly. How was it that he set that calm look over himself in this craziness?
I smiled gratefully, and then, with a sudden burst of nerve that surprised us both, I hugged him tightly. I felt him pause for only a millisecond, then return it with a quick, strong squeeze of his arm around me. It was only for a moment, though, and soon I left, rushing to my car and leaving from an exit I could just barely get through because of all the commotion. The face of the boy, who seemed about my age, was still plastered in my mind. I shook with terror, hoping to never, ever see something like that again.
As my car seemed to creep slowly towards home, rather than actually drive at the speed I wanted, I let my mind wander over the incident.
I had… nearly died… I thought, chilled to the bone.
After reviewing everything, I absentmindedly went back to the scene directly before the accident, when a revelation question hit me.
How had Leland known to get us out of the way… and what was that little space out moment before he lead us to the direct spot of safety? If we had run into the store, we wouldn't have had enough time to make it inside before all the glass shattered onto us, probably piercing us through. If we had run the opposite direction, we would've been hit with the large pieces of debris that flew from the collision. How had he known to time and plan it so perfectly? And that silence before it… there was no way…
I couldn't get this puzzling question out of my mind, quietly going over it again and again in my head, trying to find a way to make it create sense… but it just didn't.
But I wouldn't worry myself about it then, I had enough drama going on in my life at the moment.
Finally, I drove quickly through the community of houses and arrived at my driveway, pulling up and hurriedly going inside.
"Mom!" I yelled, anxious to hear her voice, still shaken up by the past events.
"…Sweetie!" she greeted anxiously as she ran down the stairs in a rush, her voice raising up a couple octaves in that motherly way. She pulled me into a tight hug, rocking me back and forth, mumbling different things about how worried she'd been and how she'd make me some tea and other nurturing things. Giving back the hug with all I had left, her hug unexpectedly started the waterworks all over again.
This was going to be a record; I had to have broken down at least five times today, and soaked at least two people's shirts.
"Oh, honey…" she cooed, attempting to console me, rubbing my back as I just stood limp in her arms, soaking up all the love I could get; I sure knew I was lacking some.
She let me go, as I set down my bag and walked over to the couch, plopping down with the weight of fatigue, and lying down, stuffing my favorite, giant down pillow under my head and looking up. I saw my mother bustling in the kitchen, making some tea and bringing out some gingerbread cookies, her guilty pleasure as well as mine. Even though my father was gone, and even though my mother was nearly always at work, when she was home, and in Mom mode, she was pretty amazing.
Soon, the tea began to simmer and whistle, she poured me a cup, and we talked, as she took a spot next to me on the couch.
My mom sat as I relayed all of today's events on her, trying to keep the explanation under two hours. She just nodded and shook her head knowingly, with the occasional mhm and uh-huh. I tried to tell her all of this at a low level, not trusting my voice, because when I told her what happened between me and Avery, my voice shook dangerously, and I had to take a few steadying breaths as she gasped with unbelief and apologized over and over again, as if it were her fault. As if Dad's death was her fault. Sometimes, I feel she takes the blame for many things in life that weren't hers to take, and she just doesn't know how to live anymore, since our father's absence.
After I finished informing her of everything that happened that day, I laid myself back down again, fully taking in all that had happened.
All I ever really wanted to happen this summer was to hang with my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, and go some cool places together, and read… but I guess that just wasn't happening. Exasperated with my life at the moment, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine a nice little valley with a rainbow in the distance and happy little animals prancing joyfully around. If only that was my life, a life of bliss. Even though I wasn't getting that, not even close, I couldn't complain. It wasn't like it was boring anymore. I let my mind wander to the farthest and most remote corners of my thoughts until my mother's voice faded back into my awareness.
"… and, honey, you really have been through quite a lot. I trust you, and that's why this summer I'm going to let you go anywhere you want, anywhere, expenses paid by your won hard work." She said a slight smile in her voice.
I shot up abruptly.
"What?" I breathed.
"Yes, you heard right. I'm letting you, after so many years of waiting on your part, go anywhere you want in the world."
My heart stopped. I mean, it literally stopped at that second.
"Mom…" I breathed gratefully as I pulled her in for a death hug. "Oh, Mom! Even… even Milan?" I said optimistically.
"I said anywhere, didn't I?" she returned.
I squealed with excitement as things slowly but surely seemed to be moving towards the better. I couldn't believe it. At last, things seemed to be going in one direction: forward.
It was nearing eight o' clock, and finally, I headed up to bed, planting an enthusiastic kiss on my mother's cheek, took a shower and went to bed, plopping down appreciatively onto my soft bed, feeling more like heaven every second as my head sunk lower and lower into the pillow. I let my thoughts dissipate until I drifted into unconsciousness much needed.