It was another bright, sunny day as was usual during this time of year in Brazilia. No clouds were in the sky and the temperature was warm enough to not be chilly but just cool enough that the mug of coffee in Harry's hands felt like bliss.
His little cup of heaven was one of the best parts of his morning. But it was made even better by the radiance of his soul mate, sitting beside him munching on a protein bar.
A Most Glorious Morning.
"You know," Gabby said, looking down at the vital part of her morning routine. "I used to be all over the peanut butter protein bars, but these," she held it up, "chocolate chip cookie dough ones are becoming my favorite."
Harry's eyebrows shot up. "They are rather scrumptious," he agreed. "But I thought you'd be eating one of the Kirkland Pure Protein Bars, the Birthday Cake one."
Shaking her head, she finished her mouthful, washing it down with a gulp of coffee. "That was yesterday," she said. "I like variety."
"Yes, yes, unlike me. Mr Plain Jane," Harry said, bumping his shoulder into hers. "I hear what you're not saying."
She held up her hands in defence, her mouth too full of chocolate chip cookie dough protein bar to respond.
"You know, just because I like the classics, doesn't–"
"Mean you're pretentious and boring?" she said, after swallowing her bite.
"Well sooooorry that I'm not interested in Red Velvet or White Chocolate Raspberry." He smiled down at his classic and definitely not boring Chocolate Chip bar. "Nor Lemon Cake either."
"Oh, come on. Live a little, Harry!" she said, bumping him back. "You were intrigued by the Maple Caramel one, weren't you?"
"No, no," Harry said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "You're misremembering. That was the Maple Glazed Donut Protein Bar. And I wasn't intrigued so much as I was wondering what other ridiculous flavours they might come up with next."
"Mmhmm, sure," Gabby said, rolling her eyes. "That's why I found one in your luggage this morning?"
"I packed that so Bruno could try it," Harry said with a shrug. "I figured there was no way he could claim this one tasted like–"
"Chalk," they said together, laughing and giggling respectively.
"Chalk?" a voice suddenly came from behind them. "Are you talking about protein bars again?"
Harry swore as both his and Gabby's coffees spilled to the floor in their shock.
After his heart rate returned to normal, he looked up at Bruno with irritation. "When are you going to stop sneaking up on people like that?" he said, glancing at the mess on the floor. "And we'd just had the place cleaned up, too…"
"Yeah," Gabby added. "We spent all morning cleaning, and we've only just got to our MGM," she said, waving her hand around. "This is unacceptable, Bruno!"
"Sorry, sorry," Brazilian Beta said, reaching down to pick up a soggy piece of protein bar that had landed in a pile of coffee and handing it to Gabby. "Not to worry, I've got this."
With a little clap-clap of his hands and a twirl on his heels, he disappeared and then reappeared a second later with a mop and a bucket.
"What's an MGM?" Bruno asked as he swiped up the spilled coffee and wrung the mop out into Harry's mug.
"Wow," said a new voice that sounded surprisingly white and older than you'd expect. "Imagine if you took a few minutes out of your day to use the search function to glean this information yourself."
Harry and Gabby waved at Swiftie Stan as he sat down next to them on the patio in Brazil, unwrapping a Sam's Club TRUBAR Smother Fudger Peanut Butter Bar.
"It stands for Most Glorious Morning, Bruno," Gabby said, taking pity. "Coffee and protein bars, a most glorious combination."
Swiftie Stan and Harry nodded their heads in agreement.
With a gag, Bruno continued mopping. "I don't know how you people stomach that stuff, let alone as a combo. You should all be made to feel like horses' asses for having that opinion."
Harry, Swiftie Stan, and Gabby all hung their heads in unison.
"Anyway," Bruno said, taking a seat next to them, and procuring a glass of orange juice and a bag of mint Lifesavers out of thin air. "I'm pretty sure it was my friend's bday yesterday. Need to check fb."
Dipping his mint Lifesaver in the glass of OJ, Bruno looked around when a hush fell over the room.
"What?" he said, crunching on the Lifesaver.
"Really, Bruno?" Harry said, staring at him as if he'd never seen him before. "First you celebrate my birthday a day late. Then you forget Swiftie Stan's birthday all together–"
A quiet sob interrupted Harry's heartfelt speech, and he could see Gabby comforting Swiftie Stan out of the corner of his eye, breaking off a piece of her own protein bar to give to him.
"–And now this?" he continued, shaking his head. "You have to 'check fb' to know your own friend's birthday. The friend that has always supported you, always stood by your side. Who has selflessly provided you with laughter and entertainment and joy all these years? Who's an amazing, genre-defining writer, and all-around nearly perfect person–if only she'd complete her story?"
"It's probably because she's not a published author," Swiftie Stan said through a mouthful of Power Crunch French Vanilla Creme Flavoured Protein Energy Bar that he'd just unwrapped to comfort him through his sorrow.
At this, everyone gasped.
Besides Bruno, who merely shrugged. "Until she formally publishes anything, why would I waste my brain cells remembering her birthday?" he said, opening up a bag of Pep O Mint Lifesavers and pouring another glass of OJ entirely into the bag.
"You disgust me," Gabby said as both Harry and Swiftie Stan (fellow non-published authors) sobbed into their hands, the latter doing some languishingly lugubrious active groin stretches as he prepared for the worst.
Bruno licked his fingers clean of minty OJ and smiled, unfazed.
"Eh," a monocle clad man said with a decaf iced coffee in one hand and his hockey stick in the other, pointing at Bruno. "I'm very disagreeable and even I can't be disagreeable on this."
"Yeah," Harry said, collecting himself once more. "And for your information, Tracey's birthday is TODAY. MARCH 19TH. Why did you think we were all gathered here on the patio in Brazilia?"
With a roll of his eyes, Bruno leant back in his chair, pushing the entire bag of Lifesavers up to his mouth so he could drain the rest of the contents out of it. "Thought you just wanted to have another M&M or whatever–"
"MGM!" Harry and Swiftie Stan exclaimed in horror while Gabby, in spirit of Angelina who was not able to make the trip to Brazilia, fainted to the ground
"Did I just hear someone exclaim MGM?" said a new voice. Applause and cheers erupted from the live audience as she entered the scene.
"Tracey!" Harry said. "You weren't supposed to get here till noon. We had a whole surprise set up!"
With a shrug, Tracey dug into her bag and pulled out a Red Velvet Birthday Cake Peanut Butter Vegan Gluten-Free Plant Based Low Sugar High Sugar Medium Protein filled Protein Bar. "I couldn't miss an MGM with my best friends, now could I?" she said, pulling out her mug as Swiftie Stan poured some hot steaming coffee into it from his Cresimo 74oz Airpot Thermal Coffee Carafe with an Insulated Stainless Steel Coffee Dispenser and Pump.
The Mug Gang (not including Bruno who was too busy grimacing in disgust) all smiled serenely in unison.
"I appreciate the effort to surprise me, though," Tracey said. "And the fact that all of you remembered the exact date of my birthday without the use of Facebook."
"Yes, all of us had no trouble remembering such a day of Importance," Harry said, eyeing Bruno as he opened his mouth to correct her.
Tracey thankfully spoke again before he could get a word in. "What were you going to surprise me with, anyway?" she said, accepting a piece of Gabby's Organic Crispy Apple Pie Quest Hero Protein Bar with Dates, Almonds, Walnuts, Raisins, and Cinnamon which she dunked in her coffee.
Gabby gave Harry a nod, and he cleared his throat. "Well…first, we were going to start off by visiting the litter of kittens who won Brazil's Cutest Litter of Kittens award for the month of March," he began, ignoring Swiftie Stan's mumble of 'puppies are superior' before continuing. "After that, we have tickets to the 135th annual Calico Cat Carnival at the Cat Park in Carapicuíba. You won't believe this, but we were able to snag tickets for the top cat perch overlooking the–"
A loud squeal cut him off.
"The top cat perch?" Tracey asked, her hands covering her mouth as she bounced in place. "No way. Get out. GTFO! I can't believe this!"
"Well, you'd better," Gabby said, a wide smile on her face. "Because it's happening. And you deserve it."
"Does she, though?" muttered a Spanish-Portuguese accented voice.
It cut through the joy like a knife, causing a sudden tension to fill the air.
"God, not this again," Swiftie Stan said, covering his face with his hands. "Please, Bruno. Enough."
With a shrug, Bruno poured himself another glass of orange juice. "Look, all I'm saying is…I know plenty of more deserving people that should be on that top cat perch. People who've worked hard. Till the end. No hiatuses…people who've actually contributed to this world. Officially. People who are pub–"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Bruno!" Harry said, standing up and pointing a finger at him as Tracey and Swiftie Stan let out small sniffles and shook their heads in misery. "Forgive us if we don't compare to the elite company you keep these days! Published authors…non-published authors. Why should it matter? Do we not all write from a heart that beats the same rhythm since the dawn of time? Our words used to mean something to you, Bruno. We used to mean something to you…"
Harry had to pause as his emotions started to get the better of him. He felt a calming hand on his arm and looked to see Gabby standing up as well.
"As a reader…someone on the other side, I can tell you all something," Gabby said, looking at Harry, Tracey and Swiftie Stan who were now all holding each other for support. "I don't care if you're published or non-published. If you've completed your works or abandoned them. If you're on a hiatus or will never write again."
She leaned forward and placed a hand on Tracey's shoulder. "I appreciate you for just being you," she said, before turning to Harry and Swiftie Stan. "And you. And you."
"Oh, you guys," Tracey said, holding back tears and leaning into the Mug Gang for a group hug.
With a roll of his eyes, Bruno joined the group hug, keeping his thoughts and opinions to himself for the time being, it seemed. Perhaps he had enough common sense and decency to let the matter go. At least for today. For Tracey.
"This patio in Brazil is the best. I love you guys," Swiftie Stan said.
Everyone cheered in unison as Harry took out his wand and levitated the mugs of coffee (and glass of orange juice) to their respective owners. The live audience broke out into a serenade of 'Happy Birthday' for Tracey before 'aww-ing' loudly as the group of five friends on the patio in Brazil got into another group hug.
"Happy birthday, Tracey. Here's to many Most Glorious Mornings to come," Harry said, raising his mug.
"Cheers, I'll drink to that!" everyone said in unison.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Happy Birthday Taliesin19.
For all of you out there, don't let anyone (Bruno) try to say you aren't amazing just because you aren't published. We love and appreciate all of the non-published authors, even if they don't complete their stories, and update a complete story instead of their incomplete ones.
We'd like to thank Nauze for being awful to non-published authors everywhere so we could get our message out there.
And we'd like to blame Petrificus Somewhatus for never delivering on his promise for another outtake for HH. Here's to hoping we give you some trolling inspiration!
And as always…
Stay Classy, Eucla!