Note: Just wanted to say thanks again for those who reviewed/subscribed my story to the alert-list. It means so much to me, I really appreciate it. Hope you enjoy this! xx.

4.

Catherine was glad Gil was driving in his own car to her place. She wasn't sure what was going to happen between them or what he was going to tell her. God, she wasn't even sure what she was going to tell him. She was cursing herself for not knowing how she felt; it made things even more complicated.

The uncomfortable silence that was present as soon as Gil and Catherine sat down around Catherine's kitchen with their food in front of them was undeniable. It was Catherine who finally said the first words, though they mostly came out of her mouth because she was annoyed with the situation. "Gil, this is ridiculous. We're being ridiculous. We've been friends for so long, we're supposed to talk about these things, aren't we?"

Gil slowly nodded and looked in Catherine's blue eyes. "I guess we should. I'm just not sure what to say."

Their eyes locked and Catherine answered: "Just begin at the beginning. I…. I thought you were happy. Just.. Just begin at the start. You left Vegas to be with Sara. Then what happened?"

Gil sighed. "Catherine, it's not that easy. I'm.. You know I'm no good with words."

She smiled and simply said: "Give it a try."

Gil knew Catherine was the only one who could convince him to even try to put his emotions into words. He sighed again and stayed quiet for a while, thinking of where to begin. After a minute or so, he started talking. "I left Vegas because I felt like my work here was done. You and I both knew that at some point, I wouldn't be satisfied anymore with my job. I guess that point was there, and that was why I left. The fact that I could be with Sara again made the decision easier as well.. Sara loved me and I can honestly say that I love Sara as well. But I've always known that I wouldn't be able to give her the amount of love she deserves. I… I have this feeling that she knows that as well, but I guess we both settled for less."

Gil paused for a while, and realised that Catherine's eyes had never left his face while he'd been looking staring at the while during his talk. She didn't look uncomfortable anymore. She was just listening, trying to understand, and patiently waited for him to continue. Gil scraped his throat a little bit before continuing.

"We lived a pretty good life, Sara and I. We both did things we enjoyed, we enjoyed each other's company… It was good the way it was, but there was always this feeling inside me that said that something was missing.. I've tried to push that away for a very long time though. I never thought I'd be back in Vegas again. Not because I didn't miss this place or the people, because I did. A lot, actually. But I figured that if I would go back, I would confirm for myself that I had made the wrong decision when I had left. But not returning here wasn't an option. Sara missed this place, and I eventually started missing Las Vegas as well. But the day that I came back, I knew that I'd made the worst decision ever when I had left Vegas."

Gil could almost see a question mark appear above Catherine's head; she obviously didn't quite understand what he was talking about. Or perhaps she just didn't want to understand what he was talking about. Gil knew he was pouring his heart out; something he usually didn't do. But he felt comfortable, he felt safe. He knew he was with Catherine. And he knew that he now had to say the most important thing of all.

"As soon as I saw you again, I knew I'd made a huge mistake. Catherine, I… I don't know how to say this." Gil started to snap shut. His eyes locked with Catherine, and there were so many things he could read in them. Encouragement was one of them. Catherine didn't need to say a word to make that clear to him.

"Cath, I think, no, I know, there's someone I love more than I love Sara. Someone I love more than I could ever love another woman. And that is you. And I guess I should've told you that about twenty years ago, because honestly, I loved you since the day I met you. But I was scared, I'm still scared.. I'm scared that a woman like you will never love a man like me. And I guess that's why I settled for someone I loved less; I just figured the woman I loved would never love me the way I loved her. But I.. I just can't pretend to not feel anything for you. When I saw you with Vartann last night… I was extremely jealous. A man who loves his wife shouldn't be jealous of his best friend finding a good man. But I was jealous, and I still am. I love you. I've always loved you, and I don't think I will ever stop loving you."

Gil felt relieved after all the emotions that had been inside of him for so long had been revealed. But the thing he was afraid of, was Catherine's answer. She hadn't said a word ever since he'd started talking, nor had she touched her food. All she'd done the entire time was looking at him. Catherine felt proud of Gil for telling her how he felt. Showing emotions had never been his best feature, yet he'd been able to tell her perfectly how he felt. It was overwhelming. Gil loved her. Their eyes remained locked when Catherine whispered: "That was a good try in describing your emotions. A very good try."

Gil smiled. "I tried my best."

Catherine nodded, not sure what to say. She bit her lip, thinking of the right way to answer to the huge amount of information he had given her in the last few minutes. The things he'd just told her were pure, honest. She could feel it. She just wished he'd told her those things about ten years ago. Catherine knew what to do if she would follow her heart. But her head told her to take another direction. A part of her wanted to fly into Gil's arms and not think about anything or anyone else in the world. But another part of her felt loyalty and love for Tony.

Catherine sighed and said: "I guess there's only one way to answer to everything you've just told me."

Note: Hope Gil's share of feelings wasn't too out of character.. But I figured it fit in place, and besides, Gil trusts Catherine ;-). I stop babbling things now, just hope you liked this chapter, and hope you've got a little bit energy left to hit that button down there.. xx.