Note: Hi guys, next update! I'm so gonna be late for work, but I really wanted to finish this chapter and post it.. Please, enjoy! x.
11.
Tony could hear the clicking of Catherine's heels on his parquet. He could recognize her walk from miles away. The fact that he smelled her sweet scent confirmed it. The clicking stopped and he knew that she was standing not too far behind. Tony didn't dare to look around though. He was afraid of what he would see in her eyes; he was positive that Catherine had run into Sara on her way in, and he also knew that Sara must've made some comment. He could hear Catherine's breaths getting heavier.
Meanwhile, Catherine realised that Sara must had said something that wasn't too good. She was sure that Tony knew that she was standing behind him, and the fact that he didn't turn around scared her. She knew she had to start talking. She took a deep breath, but she simply didn't have the guts to start talking. A couple of deep breaths later, she finally found the courage and said: "Tony… What… What was Sara doing here?"
Tony finally turned around, and Catherine could tell that he wasn't too pleased with the things Sara had said. He had a dull glance in his eyes when he said: "What do you think she was here for?"
Catherine bit her lip. "I… I think we should talk."
"You think?" Tony's raised eyebrow and sarcasm almost made Catherine smile. She loved it when he did that during interrogations with suspects. She knew he was being sarcastic because he was insecure this time though, and she silently cursed herself for not being honest to him.
"Let's sit down." Catherine made an attempt to walk to the couch, but Tony didn't make a move. She looked over her shoulder and said: "Please?"
Tony finally walked over and sat down on the couch, while Catherine sat down next to him. Tony could smell the strawberry scent of her shampoo, and he could smell the perfume she was wearing as well. He'd given her that not too long ago. Tony looked into Catherine's eyes and saw the sadness in the icy blue eyes. Tony could tell she was having a hard time. He wasn't able to be too busy with that though; he was too afraid of what she was going to say. He was afraid that Sara was right.
Catherine knew she had to tell him about Gil. Now. She was nervously picking at the sleeves of her t-shirt when she said: "I don't know what Sara told you… I.. I came here because I had to tell you something. I want you to know that I never wanted this to go this way.. And I feel terrible for not telling you sooner. I should've told you sooner, but things were so complicated…" Catherine paused for a second to look at Tony. Catherine knew Tony didn't cry. She had never seen him cry. He was pretty close to doing so though.
Catherine had just started talking, and Tony could already feel himself getting emotional. He had never cried over a woman. Never. He knew that Catherine was able to break his heart though. And he was very positive that she was going to do that know. He felt Catherine's eyes on him, but he kept looking at his legs. When he felt Catherine's hand on his though, he looked up and said: "Please… Just, continue..," before pulling his hand back.
Catherine bit her lip and nodded. "I…I guess I should start at the beginning. You know that Gil and I have been best friends for a very long time. We've always been very close. I guess I never realised how much he meant to me until he started doing the things he usually did with me with Sara. I've… I've always liked Gil. I actually think that I loved him the first time I saw him. I was married to Eddie back then though, and Gil.. Well, I figured that I wasn't his type of woman. Anyway, to make this short… I settled for being Gil's best friend, things were fine… And then he left. That was probably one of the worst moments in my life. I was glad that he'd found someone he loved, I really was. But losing him… It made me realise how much I needed him around. Unfortunately for me, I didn't have that right. We slowly started to get a little less contact, and then I met you. Well, I met you in another way than we used to meet. You have to believe me when I say that everything that has happened since then has been incredible. You've made me so happy, and I had this feeling that we could stay that way forever. And then Gil came back. I thought I could handle that, I mean, I was with you and I was convinced that you were the right man for me. But.. I guess that Gil affects me more than any other man can. No matter how much I wish that he couldn't. I love him. And no matter how much I wish I could love you more than I can love him, I know that that's impossible. I've always loved Gil, and.. I guess I always will. I'm… I'm sorry for not telling you sooner about this. I was just so… Overwhelmed. I never thought that this would happen. Never. I'm so sorry…"
Tony could hear in Catherine's voice that she was about to cry. He didn't look up to meet her eyes though. He was overwhelmed by all the words she'd said. He loved her so much. And after everything that she'd told him, he knew he still wouldn't be able to not love her. He knew he would never stop loving her. He was still processing all the words she'd said. Catherine didn't give him too much time for that though. With a soft voice, she added: "I guess it's not worth that much, but… I do love you, Tony. I guess that love alone just isn't enough. I really, really am sorry."
Tony finally looked at Catherine's face and found a pair of wet eyes staring back at his. There was so much he wanted to say, but there wasn't a single word able to escape from his lips. That was obvious for Catherine as well. It hurt her, to see Tony sitting next to her like this. She felt terrible. "If you want, I'll leave. I understand if you want me to go…" Tony still didn't respond, and Catherine stood up.
When Tony realised that Catherine wanted to go, he got up as well and reached for her arm. "Catherine, wait…" She turned around again and her blue eyes met his. They were both aware of how close they were to the other, and Tony whispered: "Are you sure that this is what you want? Because I… I love you." Tony knew it was a stupid argument. He also knew that Catherine had made a decision. But he needed to hear her say it.
Catherine impulsively put her hand on Tony's cheek and wiped away a couple of tears that fell from his eyes. Tony knew it would be the last time that he would feel her hand on his face. The last time that he would be able to smell her scent from that close. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm so sorry."
Their eyes locked one more time, and Catherine knew it was time to leave. She let her hand drop down again and freed her other hand from Tony's grip. She tried to whisper a soft goodbye, but only air came out of her mouth. She then walked away.
Tony looked after her when she walked through his door. He wished he would've been able to yell at her. Be mad at her. Angry at her. He wished that he'd been able to at least say something back to her. But as soon as he knew that Catherine was out of his house, he felt the urge to just lay down in his bed and never wake up again. Catherine would never come back to him. Never.
Note: Liked it, hated it? This was so hard to write, especially because I do love Catherine and Vartann together. Hope I didn't screw it up too bad, please let me know what you think of it! xxx.