Soulcaster-Dearest you I'm extremely sorry that I haven't updated recently cuz life is just riding me for all that I'm worth r
Soulcaster-Dearest you I'm extremely sorry that I haven't updated recently cuz life is just riding me for all that I'm worth right now but I have the next few chapters written I just haven't had time to type them. So again my apologies!
Kitkatjacking-ditto! Oh and thanks for reviewing!
blusum-YAY! I love you forever!!
Disclaimer-Do you know how much this thingy depresses me!?
I really really love all you peoples who read, review, favorite, and/or alert!!
"This…is a baby shower…?" Naruto asked somewhat skeptically in his very pregnant state, his nose hit the air as he said this as if he smelled something rotten, which he did the house next door almost always smelt like old pit stains and Kiba always smelled like dog.
The place sure was done up, regrettably true it was only Iruka and Kakashi's living room, but it seemed much nicer then before as if someone had spent all there free time today fixing it up so that they could party; in the name of Naruto, of course. With all the absolutely lovely decor, orange and red balloons that read in think black lettering it's a girl or it's a boy; they couldn't have just put one up because Naruto wanted to actually have the baby not be told what sex his baby was going to be.
There were also multicolored streamers over the windows like curtains and strung across the room from one point on the ceiling to another then back again and this was done more times then one could count. Then there was a huge white banner in the middle of all of this with rainbow lettering that said in all capitals BABY!
It was also packed with all the people that knew and loved Naruto, and had to come to celebrate him and his child.
Sakura was pushing his wheel chair that Naruto; after being pregnant for seven months, had to be carted around in because his itty bitty body couldn't take all the pressure and weight of being as big as he was—short legs were not meant for heavy labor(A/N-labor…heh get it? Heh heh)
She said, "Yes, Naruto this is your baby shower!"
The cherry blossom caught sight of the table over flowing with food and was more then thankful for it.
As she started to lug him in that direction he said. "What's the point of having a shower for an unborn baby, who knows it might not make it through in the process of actual birth…"
The he looked down quickly wrapping his arms around his tummy and bursted out crying, "No, no, mommy didn't mean that, mommies sorry…he's just in a bad mood today, huh?" he hiccupped rubbing his soon-to-be bundle of joy.
Naruto looked up sniffling as the ride came to a stop and shrieked, "FOOD!" rather enthusiastically!
Sakura sighed at the tables nicely sorted eatables that would hold his attention for now, but believe it that his mood would change momentarily and boy was he tiring sometimes. But Sakura was the man for the job; Iruka still had to do his job at the academy after all and Kakashi wouldn't ever be asked because all that he would do would make fun of the very pregnant, very hormonal, blonde and in the end he would not turn out to be a very pretty bloody chewed then spit up pulp. She was also sure that Iruka wouldn't want him coming home in a full body cast; so as they say he had merely been overlooked for the position to look after Naruto.
Sakura watched as Naruto gobbled up all the things that he could reach without moving anything but his arms, then they were in his mouth and gone before he him self could say 'ramen'.
"Sakura-chan, frook!" he exclaimed with an over stuffed mouth and he was clapping rather exitedly as he pointed to the pyramid of food that he had created. Which was disorderly and Sakura wouldn't have minded one little bit if it had been a smidge more color coordinated(bitch), but it showed that the boy was sort of happy right now.
His happiness was always a good thing; always! When he wasn't let's put it this way, bad things happened, especially when being in such a state where one wants to eat then cry till they puke. So, check, happiness most defiantly a good thing.
Naruto looked up at her with sad poutie azul eyes. Why must all good things come to an end!? She mentally cursed.
He finished swallowing then whispered, "Sakura, do you think that I'm fat?"
"No," she answered honestly.
"I knew it! I'm fat!" He screamed at the top of his lungs at her by this time balling his eyes out over his plates and plates of food. He was wailing throwing his arms wildly into the air and bouncing around like a two year old in a fit; it was one hell of a temper tantrum. Yippee.
"No, no, nonononononono…" she franticly whispered kneeling down beside his chair trying to claim the tempest. "Right now, there's just a little bit more of you to love!"
Wrong choice of words.
"Sasuke doesn't love me, Sakura, if Sasuke loved me wouldn't he be here right now?! Well wouldn't he?! Hm, I knew that Sasuke left all because I'm so fat! Even you're getting tired of having to deal with me. I know it. I knew that I was the reason why he left, that I was the only reason, I had to be the reason, and that Sasuke never ever LOVED ME!!"
She grabbed his arms pinning them to his sides, "No more talk, all of this stress is bad for your baby, think about your baby!"
"Babies…." Stated Tsunade from where she stood behind them with, as always, her handy dandy sake. She had said that she had been trying to lay off of the liquor but I guess it goes to show you that old habits die hard; or that, excusing the one who was with child, everyone gets drunk at a baby shower.
"Babies." The both asked blankly.
"Don't give me those looks, you brats, twins Naruto. for pete's sake, your having twins!" she groaned as if it had been right in frount of there facing the whole time, and found it rather bothersome that she(not like it was her duty being the Hokage, or anything) had to be the one to tell them.
"There are two little lives in there…?" Naruto stared down at his stomach with child-like wonder and even prodded it once with his index finger then looked up at the two of them with an awe-struck expression on his face. Sakura thought that maybe she would get a few more precious moments of his brief happiness…wrong again.
"HA HA Sakura! I told you! I told you that I was fat, huge! Humongous, even!" He mocked her as his expression practically screamed 'Told ja so, bitch!'
She rubbed her temples sighing, "I need a drink…would you mind watching him and make that he doesn't wander off…" All to well knowing that the blonde had a habit of doing just that, even when he was stuck in a wheel chair. Seriously the dobe was like an oversized worm wriggling in the way that he just tended to wriggle.
"Ahhh, Sakura-chan!" he sung, "I want champagne with chocolate, please!" the boy squirmed in his chair as he said this just itching to leave the dang thing (Which was a futile attempt he couldn't stand without assistance anyway) the stupid thing had become more like the bars of a cage then actual help.
"Sure thing kid! 'Oy and get me some more Sake while your up." Tsunade grumbled coming to stand and protect the little patch of sunlight that had turned his attention back to the food. She glared daggers at each and every guest as Sakura pushed her way through the crowd making her way to the drink table. Who separates the food and the drinks with a dance floor, really?
"So twins eh Naruto what do you think about?" Tsunade asked, she usually wasn't one for small talk but here she was talking small.
"I think that it's great, Tsunade, I get to have not one but two of Sasuke's children, isn't that wonderful! Hey, is that why were celebrating?" he beamed up at her a smudge of white powder on his face.
"No you idiot were celebrating you, this is the one day its all about you and the fact that we all haven't all gone star-craving mad on the point that we were all going to jump ship before it sunk! You and your wild antics! Especially when you're seven months pregnant, oh I thought we were going to need heavens help, when I first told you and in these times after!" she threw back some more of her sake after her little rant.
A familiar pout set on Naruto's lips, "Meanie…you aren't very nice you know?"
"Thanks kid, it means a lot." She said sarcastically, sipping what was left of her sake where was that fucking brat with her drink anyway?!
"Hey!" Neji cut in bounding up to the teen with unexpected joy from someone who was usually very emo, extremely 'I hate life, life hates me, and everyone needs to die!' kind of guy. Naruto took immediate notice that his and Kiba's, who was standing right next to him, fingers were intertwined together. They must have recently hooked up, Naruto wondered if they had had sex yet…hm…he would have to ask later and if yes then he would have to give them a firm lecture unless Neji wanted to end up like him, obviously.
"Hey!" Naruto's screamed back smiling broadly up at them, "To both of you!" he knew that Kiba was even there.
"You know what's really funny?" asked Kiba jumping straight into conversation.
"Um, your face…" the blonde said perfectly serious.
"No," Kiba snorted giving Naruto a 'what the fuck ever' face. "It's the way that the banner letters are rainbow colored, it's so great!"
"I really don't see how that's funny…" remarked Naruto and Kiba's face fell at that and gave him another look that said for all who wanted to hear it, 'You've got to be kidding me?" his mouth had fallen ever so slightly open and Neji internally thought about how cute that he looked.
"Well…" he began very melodramatic, but didn't have time to continue because coming up from behind him Sakura kicked him hard in the back of the shin with a smile on her face.
"Sake for you!" she handed it to Tsunade who usually held her liquor very well but was flirting with a hat rack and the cheese dib. Sakura couldn't decide if she was drunk or playing a joke.
"And…sparkling grape juice and chocolate for you."
"This isn't champagne." Naruto said with a look of disgust as he stared down at it.
"No its not." She challenged drinking her own glass of champagne with an olive, olives were very cosmopolitan. She thought they were cooler then just a plain glass, more decorative.
He shrugged, "Okay." Plopped the chocolate into his drink swirling it once with his pinky finger and then set the whole thing down on the table not even bothering to take a sip. Sakura was surprised that he hadn't even given the slightest remark or tried to bite her head off.
"Are you going to drink that?" she said before she could stop it.
He folded his hand over his tummy and pressed his lips into a thin line as of thinking very hard about something very important. "I was planning on it." He finally said.
"As I was saying," Kiba interjected. "The rainbow letters on the banner are funny because you're gay!"
Naruto's eyes turned into dangerously low slits and Sakura took an involuntary step back, "Just for your information," he hissed through clenched teeth unhappy with Kiba's outstandingly 'funny' comment. "I'm Bi you asshole!"
"What does Bi mean?" asked Lee bounding up to greet the group.
"It basically means that Naruto isn't picky…" Kiba told me truthfully but with a meaner suggestion in his words.
"You'll pay for that!" Yelled Naruto, wiggling in a way that his chair threatened to topple over. "I don't know how, or when seeing as I can't move from this fucking chair. But believe me you will pay, and you will be sorry."
"Relax," clammed Sakura coming to Kiba's rescue, "Here drink this." And she handed him his drink which the chocolate had sunken into.
He dropped it at the exact moment that it was placed in his hand, he was shaking so badly, the pieces scattered like little shards of crystal over the dance floor, "I'm sorry…" he said sadly starting to cry.
"Naruto, it's okay, shhh…" she whispered pating his hair. She looked taken aback when he put a hand to his stomach and looked at her deeply in the eyes and said without a single bit of sarcasm.
"Somethings wrong…" he gasped as if he had just been hi, "Help me…"
End
My attempt at dramatic irony I'm sorry if it didn't come off that way.
So please don't kill I would really rather not die.
Oh and blusum you will get Sasunaru cookies later and a whole chapter dedicated to you because you gave me yoai cake and I love you!!
Oh and just so you know updates will be weekly from now on!