Sasunarulover4life-Yeah me too, I mean Sasuke is so cute…cough cough with Naruto, but yeah so yeah and thank you. You've been one of my consistent reviewers and I really just wanted to say thank you a million times over thank you. Seeing your name and all the good things you say about my story just about makes me want to shine and warms my heart, so once again thank you.

mrk33-I'm sorry wanna hug?

Starlit-Knight-I'm really sorry for screwing with your emotions, though I have to say that it was quite fun. Not that the 'End' thing was done on purpose, I'm just way to lazy to type out 'End of chapter so and so' I'm actually really surprised that I made it this far in my story, I dunno I actually really like this one. Although the chapters are kinda short that honestly bugs the crap outta me. Oh, and I almost forgot Naruto is 13 Sasuke is 14!

Dayxxdreamer- Thank you very much—bows—I'm honored.

blusum-Yeah that's not for a couple more chapters, like six more, and then Sasuke will reappear and everything will be right in the world! Yay!

Shattered Glass Heart-Alright lets cue the dramatic music and dance! And yeah Naruto's life isn't fair (but this begs the question whose really is?)

Just so ya'll know Naruto's POV

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I kept thinking that if I closed my eyes long enough, if I blocked it all out long enough, then it would leave me alone for the time being and I could be allowed the first moments of peace since the raven, my raven, had been gone. Only if I kept myself locked in the darkness for how ever long that it took then the light would have to come and find me right? Sasuke would have to come and find me, right? Without him everything seems so bleak and bland and unimportant like a dinner date gone badly or ramen without flavor. But then there's when we were together, back before we were together or even had the possibility of being so, everything was colorful in such a black and white world. Where they've always been right and I've never been anything.

Hajime, my baby girl, stirs in my arms a little before wriggling around in her tiny bundle opening her eyes so that I could get a peak at that beautiful blue then closing them again and going back to sleep—I wonder what babies have to dream about? Is she missing her brother as much as I am, mourning over the loss of him? Does she feel the hole where his body used to be the very same place that he no longer is, and if she does is that connection, that link, between the two completely gone? Being brother and sister, does she long for him to come back?

I put one of my slender fingers in her tinny tiny hand, her stubby fingers barley capable of wrapping around mine. She enclosed my nail in a tight grip like she never wanted to let go because she already knew who her mommy is even when she knew little else. It made my chest swell with pride because now it feels like someone needs me; it's so nice to be needed. I'm a mommy now the person that my child will have to rely on the most and that is maybe the one title that I will never ever be ashamed to proclaim loudly; even if I am the wrong gender, even if I am a single mother.

But there is one thing that makes me feel very un-mommyish—and it's defiantly not the unyielding desire to protect my child, or rather children. It's that I can't admire my child for to long because of all the significant similarities between my baby girl and her father. I am reminded by her face, and her face alone, that as a couple, as a parent, and a person I am alone and I have to do this all by myself (I can't rely to heavily on Iruka or Sakura because this isn't their baby) and holy it hurts. I feel so horrible almost like I don't deserve such a blessing and that's because I don't.

My boy was put in the ground today…the funeral service was nice, well at least it as nice as funeral services can be or possibly can't be. There was a lot of crying, mostly the tears being my own; the clouds had darkened themselves and flashes of blue light threatening us with the possibility of a storm.

It was to quiet though, the wind and thunder had been stifled, the children been hushed by their mothers, even the sun had refused to shine today. It was a respectful gesture for the souls in the village to say goodbye to the child that none of us would ever have the chance to get to know; he could have been the next Hokage for all that we knew. But in the same sense it was almost too quiet. I wanted some sort of a disturbance to pull away from the smog of sadness to let my mind refocus itself on something else, even if I had to be the one to make it. I had hoped through the whole damn thing that Hajime would cry, but not even she had made a peep while the regular ceremonies had been held.

I had to place my son in a box, a small square box; white to show innocents I suppose. Once I stepped away and allowed them to close the lid, I went forward again and ripped it open; even though I had locked him safely away in my heart that still meant that I wouldn't be able to see him ever again. I couldn't watch him grow through the passing seasons; he would always stay the same, and very alone in a white box surrounded by clumps of sod, dirt and death; when he was supposed to stay in his mommies arms. I didn't want my children to ever feel that sense of abandonment even when I knew that my boy wasn't in that skin anymore.

Then when I had finally stood back and kind of accepted that this couldn't be the end for us; me and my son would meet again, and that was that. They lowered him into the ground then slopped on him as if only filling a hole not barring a child, yet they called me monster. I surprised the mother instinct inside of me to jump in after him and fish him out of that deep pit, to get him out of there, even when I was the one understood that he was way past the point of saving.

I muffled my cries of distress with my free hand; a blue baby bag strung over my left shoulder the weight almost to much to bare along with the swelling grief wandering around in my soul just now bubbling to the top to filter out of my mouth, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Feeling depressed and the all to familiar strands of broken shards of hatred with the way that they talked about my baby and me, as if they knew who he was or what he was going to become when not even I, his mother, had such a privilege. The way that they came in their flocks of white sheep to cry and smile over my black sheep babies like they really cared for an outsider, even though we had been born on the inside. To them this was just a new focal point to gossip, more reason to despise me. I could almost hear them now, for they would say the things that I had told myself when I was so angry at everything. 'That damn demon so utterly horrible, terribly bad, that he even killed his own children wait till he comes for the rest of us. He's just a disgrace, a murderer of the Uchiha blood line, what a shame.' It made me sick to the point where I felt like throwing up, because my baby's death was only a blemish on their stupid reputation.

If only I had the balls to tell them to shut there ugly ass faces.

But in the present it was the reception afterwards. My boy was gone, his head stone marked and now officially clarified as dead. This was the time that everyone gave their respects for the family members of who had passed; which just happened to be none other then me, mush to their dismay.

We sat in the far corner of the room. Sakura was on my left, Hinata on my right and Tsunade to my back. They hadn't left my side for a second, not even when I had to use the bathroom or get water to heat up so that I could make Hajime a bottle; since I didn't have the frontal chest equipment to feed her on my own.

People walked up to me, people I had never seen before, people I didn't even know, and told me that Sasuke Jr. was in a better place and that the lord was looking after him now, that Jesus had taken that poor baby boy into his arms with grace and love and wisdom. That God knew what he was doing with all of our lives and that he had a solid plan for everything. I got this speech more then once, I believe it was because they didn't know what else to say to me besides I'm sorry so they tried to reassure me with their religion and their God. But I couldn't help but think, How the fuck would you know? I don't do anything though but nod quietly and look down at my slumbering child who was barley a day old. I waited until they gave up and left.

Sakura would pat me on the back each time and say that they should, in her own words, Go screw themselves, and I couldn't help but agree.

But the thought stuck in my head, their words did, and I was instantly angry with god. Really though, did he want to screw with my head and my life? If everything was in His plan and He only wanted the best for everyone, I had paid my price for my sins being the Kyubbi's vessel, wasn't that enough? Why had He let both Sasuke's leave? Those were the people that had led to my greatest period of happiness, and yet he had ripped them away from me. Even I had prayed but it was to a God that didn't seem to be around or to be listening; he was never around when I needed him, was he also ashamed of me?

Though it was comforting to know that my son had gone somewhere; somewhere where I could not get to, where I could not just go and brink him back.

Others came up and asked if they could hold my baby girl, commenting on how beautiful that she was and how strong she must have been to survive such a thing; being born of a demon I wasn't all to sure why they wanted to even touch her. I blatantly told them to fuck off any one who wasn't a part of my adopted family would not so much look at my baby without my permission.

She was mine, even if I was a real true monster, a demon come to kill them all, or whatever other names they felt they needed to call me. She was mine and no one was going to take her away from me; unless she wanted to go of her own free will but I highly doubted that that would be any time soon. I seemed over protective, sure, okay I can deal with that, but at the same time it's like whatever. It didn't matter. I was mommy; I made the rules.

After a long line of people that I didn't know, finally a sniffly nose Iruka came up to where we sat, Kakashi right on his heals. I smiled up at him through my tears and he smiled down at me through the same crying state. I had never seen either of them where full suits of black before—outside of the third's funeral—the color wasn't what they wore on a daily occurrence. Black symbolized mourning and sadness, such as darkness was mentioning death and life eclipsed. Iruka didn't really look good in the color, it didn't fit him in anyway shape or form.

"Hey-hey mommy…" he chocked out the words after a few minutes had passed of us staring each other down. Iruka had issues with death, almost as many as I did.

"Hey grandpa…" I whispered as Hinata made room so that he could sit down next to me to get a better view of my slumbering child. Kakashi stood idly in front of us biding his time by counting, with his one good eye, the ceiling tiles. Leaving me and his lover to our business. He was a lot like Sasuke in a way—though I hated how I compulsively compared everything to the raven—they were alike in some ways (except I hoped that Sasuke didn't read porn as compulsively as Kakashi did). The only thing that was a wide gapping difference between the two was that our sensei had stayed with the one that he loved and the Uchiha prodigy had gone from the one who loved him; me.

"She is so beautiful…" Iruka sniffled; clasping is hands together in his lap. Peering down at his grand baby with absolute wonder in his eyes; one would think that he, a school teacher, had never seen a child up close before.

"Yeah…" I agreed. It was the first time tonight that I hadn't ever thought the crudest words to anyone in the room who had said that to me, even if it was so incredibly true. I didn't even get so much as the tiniest bit angry or pissed off, but I had to remind myself that this was Iruka—the man who had taken the time to try and be a father figure for my sake—and not some two faced ass whose name I couldn't tell you. They were the ones that needed to go, preferably to hell but a broom closet worked just as well.

I looked up from Hajime, my baby angel, and asked, "Grandpa would you like to hold her?"

"What?" Iruka's eyes went wide with happiness, "You mean that you would let me? I've heard that you've been telling everyone who's dared to ask you tell them to mildly put 'fuck off'" he chuckled nervously.

"That's a moot point; they weren't family, you on the other hand, are."

He just about beamed with pride, "I can't believe I'm a grandpa, I thought that this day would never come." Iruka said truthfully without realizing…

I saw a look of pain in Kakashi's eye as he stopped his tile-counting and looked at his brunette longingly. I felt so bad for him; it was apparent that they couldn't have children, and that is what Iruka wanted. He wanted to be a mommy to, and Kakshi couldn't give him that, even if he really wanted to as well. The white haired porno reader knew that and probably blamed himself for it also.

I scooted closer to my father and warned, "Now watch her head…" then I carefully handed her to him. Without her though, my last bit of everything, I felt completely devoid and just wanted her back in my arms, to just snatch her back from him. But this was Iruka, I told myself again, with his soft understanding brown eyes and his friendly smile. I trusted those eyes and that smile more then I trusted what was left of me.

"Isn't she precious…" he whispered with overjoyed tears claiming his cheeks, and mine for that matter.

"I know they're my treasures, my babies…" I wiped some of my tears on the back of my sleeve; I had done enough crying for one life time thank you very much. "Hey…why don't you see if Kakashi wants to hold her?"

"Are you sure?" I nodded. "Well, okay are you coming?"

I shook my head, "Naw, I trust you, just be sure to bring her back soon okay?"

"Alright…"

I smiled maybe; finally things could finally start to look okay. Not great or even good, but okay where things are what they are and that is that, I could look up to the sun and be happy to be alive for once. Yeah, things were defiantly going to be okay…

END OF NARUTOS POV

"Kakashi! Kakashi, would you like to hold Hajime?" Iruka looked up hopefully at the love of his life, smiling a bit at him, hoping to God that Kakashi liked children. They hadn't really ever discussed it much, it was a sore spot between the two both knowing that there wasn't any use in talking about them when Iruka couldn't have them. Kakashi had tried once, but he ended up giving up because Iruka had basically given him the cold shoulder, he wanted a baby to. A little one to call their own and Iruka didn't have a livid demon inside of him to help them out.

Kakashi lifted his hand and stroked his lover's cheek, brushing some of the tears away, then speaking through his mask. "Sure…"

Iruka smiled again, placing Kakashi's arms around the child right so that he would not drop her onto the floor. The brunette couldn't help but giggle a bit at the sight, here was Kakashi a tough ninja, one who was in almost all the books, looking very confused with a baby in his arms. Though it was all very sincere, and equally cute.

"You know…" Iruka started, unsure of what is was exactly that he wanted to say. "I've always wanted children, I think that's why went into teaching, because I grew up without parents myself. And I wanted to know what it was like to have a family…"

"Iruka…" Kakashi started, he didn't want to hear this, not now.

"No, please let me finish…I've been wanting to say this for a long time…" Iruka swallowed. "I do want children, but Kakashi I would rather be with you…"

Kakashi exhaled pulling his mask off of his lips and kissed Iruka lovingly trying to put all of his emotions into just that kiss, looking back into beautiful brown eyes and wondered how someone like him had ended up with such a great creature to love him.

Iruka read the emotion loud and clear leaning into his lover's free arm, while he put his mask back on, and that was enough. It was enough.

End of Chapter

Okay, I hate typing!! HATE IT!! But whatever…I don't like this much, but I wanted to see if I could pull off a first person chapter and factoring everything in I think I did okay! But still in a way it SUCKS! But that's okay; I kinda think the end was cute…

Anyway…I need inspiration and I'm tuning to you. How do you think that Sasuke should come back, I mean how it should happen? Should Naruto immediately open back up to him, or should he be a little distant considering Naruto thinks that he's going to leave again without saying goodbye? Or what? I'd love to hear from you, it would really make my day! Love always!