Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em.

Chapter 5

His mood grew somber and his mind wandered to his baby brother. He knew Alan had to be taking this really hard and he wished he could talk to him. Wiping his hand over his face, he sighed. Something caught his eye and he noticed his watch. "Damn, Gordy, you really need to think more often." He quickly set his watch to connect to Alan's silently praying that his brother would actually answer. "C'mon, Al, I want to know how you're holding up."

Just as he began to think, his brother wasn't going to answer a little voice said softly, "I'm here, Gordy."

"Allie, how are things up there? More importantly, how are you doing, little brother?"

Gordon could see Alan look off screen and figured he was adjusting something for the flight home. However, that was not the case. Alan was trying to hide his tears from his big brother and closest friend. "Brains had to sedate John as he was worried that he would hurt himself," replied Alan, still looking away. He knew that if he looked into those bright green eyes, the tears he was fighting back would fall.

It didn't matter that Gordy had seen him cry before, there was just something within the Tracys that they tried to keep their emotions under strict guard. And for the time being, he couldn't really handle anything else. Not now with John being so ill.

Gordon couldn't fight back the stab of fear he felt at his brother's words. It must have been really bad for them to have to sedate John. He was probably the calmest in the family and was usually the one who calmed the others down. It was then he noticed that Alan was still looking away from the screen. "Allie," he called softly.

Reluctantly, Alan looked at his next oldest brother. His friend and often co-conspirator for when the rest of their big brothers got to be too much. "Gordy, he didn't see me. He kept screaming for it to stay away." Blinking back the tears that continued to build, he whispered, "He thought Dad was punishing him. That we'd forgotten about him." A small sob escaped the tight hold he was trying to maintain on his emotions. "How could he think that? We could no more forget him than we could forget each other." Eyes bright with tears, he looked down at the instrument panel, "Gordy, did we fail him? He does know that he means a lot to us, right? This is just the fever talking and not Johnny, right?" His voice had risen to an almost hysterical pitch.

"Allie, look at me," ordered Gordon. Alan slowly raised his head to meet his brother's gaze. "It's just the fever talking. Allie, he knows we love him and would never leave him up there," reassured Gordon, hoping that what he was saying was true. He had the same worries as his brother but there was no way he was going to let Alan know that. As far as he was concerned, it was still his responsibility to protect his only baby brother. And it didn't matter what it was that he had to protect him from, he would do it.

Alan just nodded at him, unable to say anything for fear of breaking down into tears again. He'd only just managed to wipe his eyes without more tears taking their place. "You will soon be home, baby brother, then Dad and Brains can get John settled in Sickbay." A smile graced his mouth but didn't reach his eyes, "And Brains will work his magic and John will be better again before we know it."

Alan nodded again before saying softly, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Hey, no guessing, baby bro. You know John will be okay," replied Gordon, trying to keep up the reassuring smile.

Alan glanced back at his console and was relieved to realize that they would be entering Earth's atmosphere shortly. "We will be landing soon, Gordy, I need to get ready," he said, looking back up at his older brother.

"Okay, Allie. The sickbay is set up and I'm down in the Silo ready. You just concentrate on landing your rocket."

"FAB," replied Alan, signing off.

Gordon lowered his wrist back down and paced back across the Silo. He was still worried about his younger brother and would be very happy to see them land. His mind wandered to his other brothers and he wondered if Scott had cooled off a little yet. He knew it was just down to the worry and the caffeine but it had hurt a little when his big brother snapped at him. He was also worried that Scott might snap at Alan and he knew his baby brother couldn't handle that right now. For all purposes, Alan was still a kid as far as he was concerned. And had yet to develop the ability to blow off Scott's abrasiveness when he was worried about one of the younger Tracy brothers. He knew his baby brother had faced off against Scott before but never under these circumstances and even if he had, Gordon had a feeling Alan couldn't have handled it right now anyway.

Setting a couple of IV bags and some IV tubing on a metal trolley, Virgil paused for a moment to think of what else Brains may need for John. He didn't notice Scott's appearance in sickbay.

"They should be home soon," Scott said, startling Virgil.

"Geez, Scott, you really don't have to sneak into places and scare the hell out of me, you know?" Virgil set the correct needle down on the trolley next to some alcohol preps and cotton balls.

A slight smirk crossed Scott's face. "Sorry bro. I would have thought you were used to by it now." Virgil just rolled his eyes at his older brother and continued with what he was doing. "Do you need any help, Virg?"

Without looking around, Virgil replied, "Nope, it's okay, Scott. Easier if I just do it then I know where everything is." Virgil was a very laid back person most of the time but when it came to the sickbay or Thunderbird Two, he could be very particular. This had caused endless amusement for their two younger siblings who loved to move stuff about or hide it from him. "There isn't a whole lot to do anyway. Not without knowing what is wrong with John." He leaned against the bed he had readied for their brother, sighing. "From what we heard, I won't be surprised if he has a fever but damn, those screams..." Honey burnt brown eyes met grey eyes as both brothers heard the screams of their brother in their mind. "And how could he ever think we'd forget him, Scotty?"

Scott shrugged, leaning against the bed as well. "I don't know for sure, Virg. I do remember that when Mom died, John was always afraid that Dad would forget him."

"Why would he fear that? Dad was always there for us."

"In the days following Mom's funeral, Dad tended to avoid the places Mom normally could be found. And those were the places that Johnny went to. He never saw Dad there and figured that he had forgotten him." Taking a deep breath, he wiped his hand over his eyes. "One night after Dad had gotten us all tucked into bed, I heard someone sneak out of bed and creep downstairs. I got up and went downstairs as well, listening since no lights had been turned on."

Virgil chuckled, "Well, that meant it wasn't me, Gordy, or Alan. We always turned on every light we passed."

"No, it wasn't any of you. But think who never needed a light at night."

"John because he has always been nocturnal," Virgil said. "It always amazed me that he could find his way around in the dark no matter where he was."

"Exactly and he knew right where he wanted to be and went straight to that room."

Intrigued, Virgil encouraged Scott to continue. "And where did he go, Scott?

With a sad smile, Scott told him. "He went to the family room and settled down in Mom's chair, holding the afghan that she'd made before she..." He took a moment to compose himself. "He looked so lost, Virg. I mean, we all had that lost look at times but Johnny, he just…I can't explain it. I sat down next to him and was surprised that he didn't push me away. Instead he asked why Dad forgot him."

Virgil stared at Scott, confused. "I don't understand, Scott."

"Dad had promised him before Mom died that they would read a story on the stars and planets. And every night, John snuck down to the family room to wait for Dad." A ghost of a smile flitted about his mouth before he spoke again. "He may have been the quietest of us but he was pretty damn stubborn. I know that I caught him on several occasions just sitting in that chair with two books tucked next to him. One on the solar system and The Poky Little Puppy. Technically, he had outgrown that book but it had been his favorite and he still chose it when he and Dad managed story time."

"I think we all did that. Chose our favorite story for him to read even if we knew the book by heart." Suddenly, they felt a slight vibration beneath their feet. "They're home."

Alan started post-flight procedures immediately after Three had landed. He really didn't want to see John strapped down or hear his heart-wrenching screams if he was awake. He wanted his brother to be well again. Until then, he would let Brains and his dad handle getting John to sickbay.

Gordon stepped up to the side of Three, waiting for someone to appear. His wait wasn't too long as a door hissed open. The gurney that John was lying on appeared first from the side of Thunderbird Three. Brains was right behind it, controlling it with light touches. The cool temperature of the cavernous space woke John from his drug-induced slumber.

Eyes widening in fear, he glanced around and noticed all the long shadows. Shadows that would be reaching for him. He already felt their coldness touching him, trying to reclaim him. Something cool was being filtered through his nose. Frightened, he began jerking, trying to free himself from the shadow's hold. With his breath hitching, he fought against the many hands that tried to hold him down. He didn't see or hear his brother or father but the emptiness of the shadow. He gasped, fighting desperately to suck some air into his lungs but found himself unable to even take a little breath. The shadow had taken hold of him once more and he couldn't fight any longer.

Jeff, Gordon, and Brains were so preoccupied with John's panic that none of them noticed the youngest Tracy brother step away from Three. None noticed him sink to the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs. Only one heard his whispered pleas.

"All will be well, Baby."

But as the soft words were spoken, it was clear all was not well. The panic attack had dislodged the nasal cannula from John's nose, interrupting the flow of oxygen that he needed. As a result, Brains worked frantically to calm his friend. Finally, the fever, limited oxygen, and illness took its toll on John's body, sending him spiraling down into a blackness he may never wake from. The last thing he saw was something coming towards him. He felt it settle over much of his face. "Don't wan' to die."

A/N: Well, that's it for this update. Lissysue85 and I have decided that with work and such, we'll be updating once a week. So, we'll see you all again next Sunday.