Disclaimer: Ownership of the Thunderbirds and the Tracys hasn't changed since our last update as far as we know. This story has been written purely for our entertainment and hopefully yours.

A/N: This update is dedicated in memory of a very special man who meant the world to seven very special people in my life. I found a poem that gave me comfort when my own father passed away and I hope that this little piece will give some comfort to them. Sam1

As you hold me close in memory,

Even though we are apart,

My spirit will live on,

There within your heart…

I am with you always.

Author unknown

Chapter 7

Using the side of Thunderbird Three for support, Alan leaned against it. His gaze fixed on nothing in particular whilst his thoughts swirled in his head faster than he could comprehend. The one thing he couldn't let go of was his first look at John on Five. The sheer terror in his eyes. The way he had flinched from their father. The way he didn't recognise them and how he fought against their touch. But most of all he couldn't understand John's assertions that they had forgotten him.

"How could he ever think that?" Alan lightly hit his head against Three.

"Hey, Al, you're going to put a dent in your 'bird."

Startled at the sound of Gordon's voice, Alan smacked his head hard against the huge space rocket. "Son of a--"

Before he could finish the expletive, Gordon clapped a hand over his youngest brother's mouth, "Ah ah, little bro. There will be no cussing around your lady."

Pulling the hand away that covered his mouth; Alan glared at his brother and then stalked across the Silo away from him.

Worry lined the red-head's face. "Hey, Alan, I'm sorry. I came down to check on you." Alan ignored Gordon and continued to the door that would lead out of the Silo. He could hear the worry in his brother's voice but it didn't stop him. He needed to be alone. As he pressed the button to open the door, he felt a hand touch his shoulder.

"What's the matter, bro?"

Spinning round, Alan looked at Gordon in disbelief. "John is lying in the Sickbay, seriously ill and you ask me, "what's the matter?" How the hell can you stand there and ask me such a stupid question? Oh, wait; I know how you can do that. You couldn't be found this morning when Dad decided to go get John. So I got to go in your place. And lucky me, I got to see our brother freaking out that he thought we would hurt him." As suddenly as his anger erupted, it deflated and left him feeling instantly guilty. He didn't even need to see his brother's face to know that his words had hurt him.

Before Gordon could make any sort of response, Alan turned back around and slammed his hand on the button to open the door. The second it slid open, he shot out of it and raced down the corridor away from Gordon. Alan made it outside and ran past the pool. He stopped on the uppermost step so that he could take off his boots. Setting them carelessly off to the side, he jumped up again, running flat out along the sandy beach. His feet pounded across the sand as he attempted to run from his tumultuous emotions.

Fear, anger, guilt, and worry all clawed at his very soul. Fear and worry that something really bad was happening to his brother. Anger that he was too afraid to go to the infirmary and check on his brothers who had surely gathered around John. Guilt that he lashed out so angrily at his closest brother. The one who was always there for him. "And what do I do?" Taking a deep breath, he yelled, "I TREATED HIM LIKE CRAP!" And with that, he collapsed to the sand in a heap.

"Hey Scott, what was with the look that Gordy gave you?"

Scott glanced up from where he was sitting on the edge of one of the beds. In a movement that was similar to his youngest brother, Scott rubbed the back of his neck. "I may have upset him when I shoved him out of my way, trying to get to Johnny."

"Are you sure that's what's bothering him?" asked Virgil.

Scott looked at Virgil in confusion. "What do you mean, bro?"

Virgil hopped up on the bed next to Scott. "I mean, are you sure that is all that upset Gordy?" Chuckling just a bit, he continued, "He's not one to get too upset when you're being your normal over-protective self."

"Well, then what made him run out of the room?" asked Scott. The worry had muddled his brain a little and he wasn't sure where his brother was going with this.

"How about the little brother we are missing?"

A horrified look crossed Scott's face as he realized he hadn't even noticed Alan's lack of appearance. What sort of brother was he? Rubbing his forehead, he wished for another cup of coffee to help him keep his thoughts straight.

Virgil patted him on the shoulder. "No, you can't have any more coffee today." Laughing out right at the expression on Scott's face, he stood up and checked the monitors above John's head.

Jeff hadn't heard a word of his sons' conversation as he was too busy watching over his stargazer. John seemed to be sleeping peacefully at the moment and Jeff was relieved. Maybe the worst was over now.

It wasn't until Scott joined Virgil at the monitors that Jeff realized something was wrong.

"I was just so focused on John and...damn, I better go find him."

Virgil nodded in agreement. "Yep, and if I were you, I'd wear some protective gear just in case Gordon comes unglued."

Scott wandered into the lounge and seeing no sign of his youngest brothers, walked over to the window. He wondered if Gordon might be in the pool. It was where he could usually be found when things were bad. And he had to admit to himself things had certainly gotten bad for the family in a way none of them expected that morning when they woke up. His gaze wandered over to John's portrait and he found himself moving closer to it. What had happened to his brother up there? Was it just the fever or was there a deeper reason for his panic. Had John been bottling up his feelings all this time until it reached a point where he just couldn't hold them in any longer? Scott ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He would need to have a long talk with his brother when he was feeling better.

Having made a promise to himself, Scott left the lounge and headed towards the kitchen. As he wandered down the corridor, a noise from one of the bedrooms caught his attention and he paused. Hurrying up the small set of stairs, he listened for the noise that had caught his attention. Reaching the top, he realised the noise was coming from Gordon's room and he approached the door. He hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door. Scott knew he had hurt his brother. And even though it was unintentional, he wasn't looking forward to facing him. Gordon's jovial personality masked a temper that rivaled Scott and Jeff's.

Taking a deep breath, he rapped on the closed door. "Gordon, are you in there?"

"Nope but feel free to leave a message at the door for someone who cares."

"C'mon, Gordy, don't be like that. I didn't mean to push you. I was just worried about John."

The bedroom door opened and Gordon glared at his oldest brother. "You were worried about John? What about the rest of us? Do you think you have the monopoly on worrying about our brothers?"

"Just because you're the oldest doesn't mean that your worrying is any more important than ours."

"I know that Gordon."

Gordon shook his head and stepped right up to Scott. "No, I don't think you do, Scott. For as long as I can remember, you've been the one who took care of us as much as we took care of each other. Lately, you've begun to behave as you're the only one allowed to worry. That you're the one who has to be there first regardless of who may be standing next to a fallen brother."

Taking a step back, Scott stood to his full height and glowered down at him. "Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are? Do you even realize what I gave up after Mom died to help take care of you and the rest of our brothers?"

"Oh, get off that soapbox, Scott. I know exactly what you gave up because you never let me forget it. Every time we have an argument, you remind me." Jabbing a finger into his brother's chest, he carried on with his rant. "She's been gone for almost twenty years, Scott. When are you going to let it go?"

Scott glanced down at the finger jabbed into his chest and something akin to a warning growl came from deep within him. "I'm giving you two seconds to get your damn finger off of me before I break it."

Gordon moved his finger but didn't step away from his brother. "You seem to forget, Scott, just how lucky you were. You have twelve years of memories with her, I only have five and to be honest I barely even remember her. You have no idea how awful that feels." He looked down at the floor, hiding his red-rimmed and teary eyes. "If you'll get the hell out of my way maybe I can go check on my brother." Pushing past Scott, Gordon headed downstairs towards the infirmary.

"Gordon, where is Alan?"

"I don't know. Why don't you go find him so that you don't have any of us lesser brothers in the way of your worry?"

Speechless, Scott watched as his brother disappeared from view. Dropping his voice to a whisper, "I'm sorry, Gords. I really didn't know that you felt that way. And God knows that I wish Mom was still here."

A/N: Well folks, that's it for this update. Hope you enjoyed it. – Lissysue and sam1