Disclaimer: We don't own them nor can we ever claim to. Darn our luck.

A/N: Silver Bee, sorry for the delay in getting this posted but RL had me a bit busy. Better late than never, right? CC, Angel-Sue76, Loopstagirl, vulcangirl1983, diff-r-ent-1, Silver Bee, and Math Girl...thanks so much for the reviews and continued support for this story. You guys rock! *shrugs* yeah, I know that is a bit dated. Oh, and just so everyone is forewarned, there is some cussing in this update. Sam1 and Mystikstorm

Chapter 16

Two days later, Jeff was alone in the infirmary with John. He was still running a fever though it wasn't as high as it had been. Just high enough that Brains made him stay and continue with IV antibiotics. There was just enough worry about him relapsing that Jeff had decided to stay with his second-born. He had decided to let Scott stay with Virgil whilst Virgil was a patient at a hospital in Canada.

Scott had been keeping Jeff updated on Virgil's condition. Virgil, himself, had even managed to talk to his dad for a short while to reassure Jeff that he was sore but doing well all things considered. Even John had been able to speak with his next youngest brother much to his relief. What he really wanted was to sit down and really talk to him. He loved each of his brothers but for some reason, he just felt a stronger connection to his chestnut-haired brother. Maybe it stemmed from the protectiveness John had felt for him after their mother had died. Or maybe it was something more. Whatever the reason, he just knew that he needed to talk.

Father and son seemed content to just enjoy the quiet view from the oversized windows that overlooked part of the pools and the ocean. However, Jeff had more than the view on his mind and it was with a bit of hesitancy that he finally spoke, "John, I think I owe you an apology." Jeff fiddled with a corner of the sheet that covered his son. It was a more than a little disconcerting for him to be so unsure of himself. Yet, he knew that his quiet son could hide his emotions better than any of the others.

John stared up at him curiously, "Why would you need to apologize?" Jeff couldn't keep from noticing the dullness in his son's normally clear blue eyes. The fever cast redness to his cheeks. Even though the worst seemed to be over, he still slept a lot. Amazingly, he didn't pester Brains about leaving the infirmary too much.

"Because I wasn't there for you after your…After your mom died. Scott was only ten-years-old and you were only a couple of years younger and I pulled away from you. I didn't just pull away from you but your brothers as well. Your mom meant so much to me that I wasn't sure how I could manage to go on without her. What I didn't see right away was that I had five of the greatest gifts our love had given me. You and your brothers were my reason to go on." Jeff paused for a moment and glanced down at John.

John stared up at his father; a myriad of emotions crossed his face. "You thought you'd lost your reason for living?" He raised the head of his bed a bit so that he could meet his dad's eyes better. "We lost Mom, too, but you didn't see us hide away from each other. You left the five of us to deal with our loss on our own. And you made promises you made no effort to honor after telling us that a man was only as good as his word. Hell, Dad, you made a promise to me when I was eight-years-old that you never kept. Night after night, I snuck out of bed and sat in Mom's chair, waiting for you to read to me. To have some father/son time. You knew how much it meant to each of us to have some time with just you. Or with Mom before she died." Taking a deep breath, his normally calm blue eyes turned icy, "But what you did to Virgil was far worse. How the hell could you have done that to him? I hated you for hurting him. Every time he reached out to you, you ignored him. Damn it, Dad, how could you do that to my little brother? Have you ever even apologized to him? Have you any idea how much he still hurts? Sure, he's managed to hide it from everybody but I know. I know how much you hurt him because I heard him crying in his room every friggin' time you walked away from him." His voice cracked as his anger and hurt from all those years ago erupted in a spectacular tirade that Jeff would surely never forget. "How the hell did you not see what you were doing to him? Didn't you even care or were you so wrapped up in grieving for Mom that you didn't give a damn about anything but her damn pictures? Did staring at her pictures night after night bring you as much comfort that a hug from Virgil might have done? I'll tell you something right now; I hated you so much for what you did to him that I made sure that life was as irritating for you as I could. I was the one who removed the stems from the tires on the SUV. I was the one who dipped your toothbrush in vinegar and hand soap. Every inconvenience you encountered was always done by my hand."

Jeff stared incredulously at his quiet son and he felt the rage that had been bottled up for too many years radiating from him. Unfortunately, Jeff had a stubborn and fierce temper as well and he demanded that his offspring show him respect at all times. "I think that's enough, John. I won't tolerate you or your brothers taking that tone with me."

Pushing himself up more, forgetting that his right hand was still very sore and tender. He gasped, falling back against the mattress. "No, Dad, I've kept my mouth shut for too long and you're going to listen. You demand respect from each of us but you conveniently forget to give us the respect we deserve. You're not always in control of everything and everyone. Some of us are more than able to take on the great Jefferson Grant Tracy." Son stared at father and father stared back at son. Both angry but for different reasons. John had every right to be angry as he was in the right. Jeff was angry because everything John was saying was more or less right.

"Son, you are way out-of-line right now. I'll allow that some of it may be due to your fever and such."

A harsh laugh burst from John's mouth. "Out-of-line? Oh, that is too funny. What was out-of-line was for you to promise to attend one of Virgil's recitals. Or one of the art showings that a painting or portrait he had done was on display. Or failing to attend the musical in which he was a supporting cast member who got to sing "Memory" with the female lead. Do you even realize now just how much you missed of Virgil's childhood? Scott and I noticed that you always made time to show up for our games or meets but you never did for Virgil. It was the two of us who made sure that he always had someone cheering him on. Showing him the support that should have been coming from you. You owe him, Dad. You owe him big."

Having heard the raised voices coming from the infirmary as they approached the door, Alan and Gordon opened the door and quickly entered. The first thing they noticed was Brains standing near the door to storage room. His eyes widened as John and Jeff continued their tirade against each other. The next thing they noticed was how red John's face was and how fast he was breathing. They also noticed the way their father had clenched his teeth and his eyes were a stormy grey. A sure sign that he was angry and getting angrier. Glancing at each other, they shrugged their shoulders. "Hey, what's all the yelling for?" Gordon asked, looking at both his dad and John.

"This doesn't concern you, Gordon. You and Alan can go prep Tracy 1 for flight. I'll be leaving shortly to pick up your brothers," Jeff said, his hard stare never shifting from John's icy gaze.

"Again, the lord and master dictates instead of asking politely," John snapped. "Don't you ever think that maybe we're tired of being ordered around? We're not just your sons but adults. Here is a novel idea, why don't you show us the respect we have earned and deserve?"

Not known for his calm approach to anything when his family was at odds, Alan snapped, "What the hell is going on in here? John, you need to calm your ass down before you have another seizure and land yourself a few extra days in here. Dad, you need to back off a little and get out of his personal space. It seems to me that you're both acting like little spoiled brats."

Gordon stared in awe at his baby brother before grinning, "Yeah, I happen to agree with him. Dad, you've always told us that nobody listens when everyone is yelling. Doesn't that apply to you and John?"

Glaring at his second youngest son, Jeff growled, "I believe I told you to do something."

"No, let them hear what's going on, Dad. Let's see if I just imagined everything you did to Virgil from the time Mom died until you finally got your head out of your ass." Sneering, he added, "Great thing to show us…if you don't like it, hide and it'll all be better."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jeff roared. "I won't tolerate this any longer."

Determined and just as angry, John forced himself to sit up. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he made himself stand on weak legs. "Yes. You. Will," he shot back, emphasizing each word. "The only way we're going to get through this is to finally face up to it. I've held my mouth shut for far too long and I am not willing to do it anymore. Not at the expense of my brother. Any of my brothers." His eyes widened in fear, reaching out to his father, he managed to stutter, "D-Da-Dad."

From his vantage point, Brains spotted the trembling in John's body mere moments before the he fell against the bed before falling to the floor. His body jerking uncontrollably as he stared up at his dad and brothers. Before any of them could react, his eyes rolled back in his head. Unconscious, his body continued to convulse for what Gordon and Alan thought was an eternity but in reality was only a few more seconds.

Jeff dropped to his knees, cradling his son's body against him. "Johnny, it's going to be okay." Burying his face in John's blond hair, his words were muffled but Gordon and Alan heard them, "I may not have been there for you and your brothers when you were young children and teenagers but never once did I ever not love you or your brothers. I know my actions hurt Virgil and that I can never erase what I did but I love my son. I love all of my sons more than anything in the world."

"Dad, we need to get him up and back in bed so that Brains can check him over," Alan said, gently squeezing his father's shoulder.

Struggling to his feet, Jeff managed to lift his precious boy to the bed and carefully lay him down. He noticed the wide-eyed looks his youngest sons were giving him and he gave them a half-smile, "It was easier when he was smaller."

"Dad, we could have helped you lift him," Gordon gently admonished.

Patting his prankster son on the back, "I know but…this was my fault. I needed to hold him."

"Ahem, Mr. T-Tracy, his te-temp-fever is elevated again. Most l-likely due to h-his outburst," Brains explained, carefully checking over his patient and very stubborn friend. Sighing, he resignedly removed the dressing that was wrapped around his hand.

"What's wrong, Brains? Why are you taking off the dressing?" Alan asked.

"I t-think he pulled the s-su-sutures when he was s-seizing." Unwrapping the last of the dressing and exposing the wound, he sighed again. "If h-he keeps t-this up, it's n-n-never going to heal." He applied pressure to stop the bleeding. "Gordon, w-w-would you get me—"

Gordon finished the scientist's request, "A suture kit and more dressing." He hurried to the storage room and grabbed the requested items. Handing them over to Brains, he glanced down at his older brother's still form. "You really are a stubborn ass, Johnny. You've been warned how many times that you can't get up on your own yet?" Catching his only younger brother's eye, he nodded towards their father.

"Dad, why don't we go up and get something to drink whilst Brains takes care of John," he suggested.

Shaking his head, he started to refuse, "I can't leave him right now."

Quietly, Kyrano stepped up next to his friend, "Come now, Mr. Tracy, you need a moment to calm your nerves and center yourself." Much to the surprise of the three younger men, Jeff allowed him to guide him out of the infirmary.

"How the heck does he do that?" Alan asked.

Gordon shrugged his shoulders, "He just seems to know when he's needed and 'poof' there he is."

Alan shook his head, "Not that. How does he manage to get Dad to calm down?"

"Experience, "Brains suggested. "He's g-got more ex-experience calming y-your father."

The Terrible Two grinned at one another before Gordon quipped, "And you've got more experience dressing that same cut on John's hand. How many times now have you had to clean, flush, suture, or dress that hand?"

Brains shook his head, "Too m-many times. Your b-bro-John is a pain-in-the r-r-rear when he's h-hurt or ill." The three men allowed themselves a slight chuckle over his very accurate description of John.

"Not…that bad." His voice soft, he wearily struggled to open his eyes. "Wh-What happened?"

"You decided to ignore Brains' orders to stay calm, dumbass." Alan smacked his next oldest brother upside his head. "What was that for?" Rubbing his abused head, he glared at him.

"For calling him a dumbass." Alan took his only blond brother's uninjured hand, "You had another seizure, Johnny."

He closed his eyes for a moment before glancing around the room. "W-wasn't Dad…here?"

"Kyrano took him upstairs so that Brains could make sure that you hadn't hurt yourself worse," answered Alan. He lightly squeezed John's hand. "That was some display of temper, Johnny. What the heck were you and Dad arguing about?"

John stared up at his youngest brother, confused and unsure of what he was talking about. "Dad and I w-were arguing?" His blue eyes showed his confusion and more than a little fear. "I don't re-remember...we were enjoying the view. I think."

"It's n-no-normal to suffer some c-confusion and m-memory loss after a s-seizure," Brains said, noticing John's fear.

More perceptive than he let on, Alan quietly excused himself and left the infirmary. "Man, do I have the most stubborn family."

In the lounge, Kyrano led his friend to one of the two couches. "Brains will see to it that Mr. John is taken care of medically. Mr. Gordon and Mr. Alan will ensure that their brother is looked over and protected. Such as each of your sons have always done."

"They have always been that way but when did it become such," he paused a moment, searching for the right words, "Such a habit for them? John is right; I left them to deal with the loss of their mother on their own." Smiling sadly up at his friend, Jeff sighed, "My boys did better with their grief and healing than I did."

"Mr. Tracy, it is no good for you or your sons to continue with the regrets and would-haves. They are a waste of your emotion and energy. It is far better to focus on what can be done to begin to repair and heal the hurt and anger that each is feeling. Mr. John seems to have chosen to let go of the hurt and anger he had buried for all these years. It may have been done in another manner. One that was less critical and more constructive but the end result would have been the same. He has let go of some of that anger even if he is not yet aware of it." Placing a calming and reassuring hand on Jeff's shoulder, he continued, "Maybe it is time for you to stop punishing yourself as well and talk to your sons. For all their independent ways, they are your sons and they look up to and respect you, Mr. Tracy. Show them the respect they have earned and you may be surprised at how easy it will be to let go of those bad memories and regrets."

It could never be said that Jeff Tracy didn't meet any challenges head-on after he'd overcome the grief he'd experienced after Lucy died. In the infirmary, he had a very head-strong challenge to face. "I need to speak with John. He has made some very valid points and I will own up to my mistakes."

"Remember, Mr. Tracy, "Listen and grow and your sons will follow." With a slight bow, he backed out of the room and bumped into Alan. "I apologize Mr. Alan for not being aware of my surroundings."

"No worries, Kyrano. It takes more than a little bump to hurt me. Remember that I'm the youngest of five extremely competitive brothers." Looking around for a moment, he continued, "Kyrano, is Dad okay? He and John were really tearing into one another."

Before Kyrano could reply, Jeff stepped out of the lounge. "I'm fine, Alan. What are you doing up here? I thought you were with John."

"I was but he…Dad, I really think that he wants you but is afraid to ask because he can't remember what you and he were arguing about. The last thing he remembers is looking out the windows with you. Brains said that it's normal for those who suffer seizures to have some confusion and memory loss after an episode." He shrugged and looked up at his father. "Dad, I think that he needs reassurance from you that everything is going to be okay. I know he's frightened and that is not something I'm used to seeing in my big brother's eyes."

"I was heading back to the infirmary. Would you and Gordon be willing to go get Scott and Virgil? As much as I want to see how Virgil is doing, I really need to talk with John."

"Sure, Dad. We can head out as soon as we collect our bags and prep Tracy One." Father and son walked towards the infirmary. Jeff was determined to rectify the wrongs he had done and hopefully he and his sons would really heal from the loss of Lucy Tracy.

The infirmary door hissed open and Jeff took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing. Lucy, help keep me from making this more of a mess."

"I'm right here, Jeff. You're not going to mess anything up. You're going to finally let go of the grief you've held onto for too long."

John looked up from his bed, uncertain. Gordon patted his arm to reassure him. "It's okay, Johnny."

"John, I need…"

"Dad, I need…"

Alan motioned to Brains and Gordon to follow him. That left John and Jeff to finally have a chance to talk. And begin to heal.

A/N: Well, John certainly let his feelings be known and before anyone says that is OOC for him, I've always thought that John's calm exterior hid a very volatile temper. Add into it that he's not feeling well and that Jeff brought up a touchy subject for them...well, I can't blame him for telling Jeff exactly what he thought. sam1