Disclaimer: We don't own the Tracys, International Rescue, or the Thunderbirds.

A/N: Standard little warning here...some cussing and you may need a tissue or two.

Chapter 17

Scott stared down at his sleeping brother, confused and a little worried. Okay, he was more than a little worried that the head injury his brother had suffered was worse than the doctors thought. "Kerrie? Who the heck is Kerrie? I don't recall him ever mentioning that name before."

Two days later and Scott was still waiting for the chance to ask Virgil who Kerrie was. And just how the hell John and Kerrie had saved him. As far as he knew John had been unconscious at home when Virgil had been whisked into the trauma room. In Canada. He wanted to get answers to his questions before Gordon and Alan arrived. Virgil was sleeping so he did what he always did when something was bothering him.

"Would you please stop pacing?" Virgil's quiet voice was a bit gruff and slightly irritated. He'd fallen asleep after his doctor had come in and checked the burns. The doctor had noticed that the curtains were closed, keeping the room dark and he asked Virgil if the headache had eased up any. Virgil had admitted that it hadn't and had even asked for some pain medication. After the doctor had left, Scott had made sure that the only light came from the bathroom door that was barely cracked open. In the dim light, Scott could just make out his brother wincing as he tried to get comfortable. The t-shirt Scott had bought for him rubbed against his chest and abdomen, irritating the slighter burns. The nastier and more painful burns were covered with a light dressing.

"Do you need some more pain medication, Virg?"

Shaking his head slightly, he winced again as the action pulled a little at the burns on his neck. "No, I don't like how they make me feel. I can't think clearly." He pushed a button on the side of his bed so that the head of it would move up to a more comfortable position. "What's on your mind, Scotty? You only pace like that when you're worried, angry, or trying to figure something out."

"Who is Kerrie?" He blurted, standing at the foot of Virgil's bed. "You said that Johnny and Kerrie saved you right after you were settled into this room."

Virgil frowned, unsure if he was ready to tell Scott about the young woman that he and John hadn't been able to save. He met Scott's gaze for a moment before looking out the window. "I don't know anyone named Kerrie. I know Johnny but no Kerrie." His ramblings faded to a stop when he realized he could feel his older brother's intense stare. "Damn. He knows that I'm not telling him the truth. Just my luck that I'd have the closest bond with him. Though none of the others can bullshit him either." And just like his brothers, he tried not to fidget under that piercing gaze. "Don't look up. Don't look up. Oh, man, he knows. How the hell does he always know when I'm trying to hide something from him? I just don't know how to explain to him how much of a failure I felt like when I wasn't able to save her. Saving lives is what I'm supposed to be doing and she died holding my hand." He rubbed his hand over his eyes, trying to wipe away any tears that had gathered. Between the pain he was in and the medications, he just couldn't maintain that stoic façade that he and his brothers had learned from their father.

His penetrating gaze never wavered and he picked up the little nuances that told him that his little brother was hiding something from him. Call it big brother intuition or a psychic bond but he could feel the emotional pain that Virgil was feeling. With a tenderness that most would have believed impossible, Scott carefully grasped Virgil's hands. Mindful of the burns his brother had suffered, he firmly forced the artist's hands away from his eyes. "You have never been able to lie to me, brother mine. I can't help you if you don't talk to me. If you don't let me know what is going on in that head of yours."

Embarrassed, Virgil jerked his hands from Scott's grasp. "Who says I want your help? Who says you can fix this? You can't make everything better." Wiping his eyes harder, he tried to take a calming breath. "I don't deserve to feel better." His shoulders shook as he tried to fight the inevitable. He was so torn…Wanting Scott to leave so that he could let go privately and wanting his big brother to make everything right. "He can't make everything right. She died and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to bring her back."

Scott stared down at his brother, his best friend and as was his nature, he took charge. He carefully sat down on the bed next to Virgil, bumping the younger man over. Ever mindful of the burns and bruises on his brother's body, Scott wrapped his arm around Virgil's shoulder. He pulled his weakened and injured brother against his side, hugging him. "I can't fix everything, Virg, but I can damn well see that you're hurting. And I'm not talking about the physical injuries you have. Let me try to help you. Please?"

His resolve to keep his pain to himself crumbled as soon as Scott hugged him. His tears fell unchecked, dropping onto the boring white blanket that covered him from the waist down. He desperately tried to stifle the sobs that tore from the hidden depths where he'd tried to bury the pain. The pain he'd felt from the moment he felt Kerrie's hand go slack within his. He'd failed and it had cost an innocent person her life. "The shadows should have taken me. I don't deserve to live."

A cool hand reached out, touching his face though he didn't feel it. "You don't control who lives or dies, Virgil. Our fates are already decided no matter what path we choose to take. The end result will be the same. You can't keep blaming yourself that you couldn't control. I'm so very grateful that I didn't die alone. I know that you and John tried to save me." Brushing a feathery light kiss on his cheek, she stepped back. "You must allow yourself forgiveness as I never blamed you for not being able to do the impossible."

"The shadows should have taken me, Scott. I don't deserve to live. I…I couldn't save her. Johnny and I tried but…But we just couldn't save her."

"Who couldn't you save and what the hell do you mean the shadows should have taken you?" Turning his body a bit so that he could focus his glare on his chestnut-haired brother. "And what the hell do you mean that you don't deserve to live?"

Hurt, angry, and confused, Virgil punched his leg. Ignoring the pain that radiated throughout his body, he snapped, "Because I wasn't strong or fast enough, an innocent young woman died. Damn it, Scotty, she died holding my hand. The shadows knew that I was unworthy and they tried to take me but Johnny interfered. He sacrificed himself to save me."

Confused and more than a little worried about his brother's mental well-being, Scott tried to be rational. "Virg, Johnny is at home on Tracy Island. There is no way he could have sacrificed himself." He patted Virgil's shoulder. "You must have been dreaming while you were unconscious."

Jerking from beneath his brother's hand, Virgil glared at him, "I wasn't dreaming, damn it. I felt the iciness where they slithered over me. I could feel the vomit in my throat and mouth. I could feel it suffocating me. And I know that is when I coded on the table." Scott stared at his brother dumbfounded. An almost hysterical chuckle escaped his mouth. "I read the notes the doctors wrote in my chart. I knew you would try to protect me even if I don't deserve it."

Scott took a deep breath and tried to sort through what Virgil was telling him. All of it sounded illogical and he still didn't know who Kerrie was or how she fit into the conversation. "Okay, I'm really confused here and before I make things worse, would you please start at the beginning? Who is Kerrie?"

Rolling his eyes, Virgil tried to calm down. His thoughts and emotions were all over the place and yet the harder he tried to control them, the more they bounced around. "Remember the rescue in that English seaside resort town?"

"You mean Hunstanton?"

"Yeah, that's the one." His eyes glazed over and in a monotonous voice he finally put all that he had experienced into words.

"You paired John and me together to search for survivors. It was the last house that we came to that we found her. She told us that she had tried running from the house when the wall fell. Part of it knocked her down, pinning her from the chest down beneath it. She had managed to work one arm free of the rubble but…but her body was too broken to push herself free. I held her hand and talked to her whilst Johnny cleared away some of the debris. We had decided to use those inflatable lifts that Brains designed. I tried to keep her distracted and kept her talking." He closed his eyes as the emotional pain he felt flared, "Her name was Kerrie and she was just a couple of years younger than Al. She was the baby of the family." He couldn't hold back a soft watery chuckle. "She said that her dad wanted a daughter but had five sons before she came along. Kind of like what Dad and Mom except Mom put her foot down after Al came along. She kept a tight grip on my hand but just as John positioned the lifts, I felt her grip slacken a bit." Biting his lip, he tried to hold back the sobs that were wracking his body. "I didn't want to look down and see her…I didn't want to see…oh gawd, she…she smiled up at me and thanked me and Johnny for staying with her. For trying to save her." Turning his pain-filled eyes to his brother, "She died holding my hand." His voice dropped to a whisper, "She thanked us and we couldn't save her."

Hugging his brother tighter, he blinked back the tears that had pooled in his own eyes, "We can't save everyone, Virg, but you and Johnny gave her something some victims never get."

"We didn't give her anything, Scotty."

"Yes, you did. You just haven't realized it because you've been beating yourself up for something you couldn't control. She didn't die afraid and alone. Even though she probably knew her injuries were too severe, she didn't give up because you and John gave her hope. And comfort. You said that she and Johnny saved you, right?"

"Yeah. She told me that it had been her time to go but it wasn't ours. Then she seemed to glide to where the shadows had converged on Johnny. She just reached down into the shadows and pulled him up."

"Sounds like Mom has some help and you and John have another guardian angel."

Virgil felt his jaw drop as he stared at Scott. "You think Mom is still looking after us?"

Shrugging, Scott tried to put into words what he'd long thought. "I don't think Mom has left us. I've felt her several times when things have been really bad for us. Gordy's hydrofoil accident. The time John was hit by that idiot drunk-driver just to name a couple of instances."

Before he could think, he blurted, "You believe in guardian angels?" He stared at Scott with wide-eyed amazement.

Chuckling, Scott gave his little brother a light noogie. "Yeah, I believe in guardian angels. How could I not? I'm the big brother of four adrenaline junkies. Though you and John aren't nearly as bad as the Terrible Two. I really feel sorry for the team of guardian angels watching over them."

"A team? More like an entire squadron is needed for those two." The two brothers grinned at Virgil's comment before laughter bubbled up and out of them. For the first time since the rescue in Hunstanton, Virgil felt lighter. He had mourned the loss of a young life but with his brother's help, he finally let go of the guilt that had been eating at him.

Neither Virgil nor Scott noticed the two men enter the room. "What is this? Starting the party without us?" Gordon and Alan stood side-by-side, staring at their older brothers.

"Sure did. It's just too bad that you guys missed all the hot nurses we just finished with. Damn bad timing if you ask me, isn't it, Virg?" Smirking, he continued, "Yeah, you two will have to carry both me and Virg out of here, but we're not sure that the nurses are going to let us go, now." He felt Virgil begin to shake with laughter. "You can see that I'm practically holding him up."

Scott heard the quiet "Thank you" that his brother murmured so that their younger brothers didn't hear.

"Ha ha, you are so not funny," Alan said.

"Are you two ready to get out of here?" Rolling his shoulders, Gordon winced slightly. "I have an appointment and the sooner I get there the happier everyone will be."

Virgil shifted his gaze from Gordon to Alan. "What kind of appointment would you have in Canada? You didn't know until this morning that you and Alan would be coming up here to get us."

"Virgil, Virgil, Virgil, did you not notice the rolling of the shoulders or the way he keeps stretching his back?" Alan asked.

Gordon glared at his only younger brother. "Thanks, Al."

"What?" Confused, Alan looked at Gordon. Then he noticed that Virgil and Scott had directed their attention at the red-haired prankster. "Oh…oh, man, I'm sorry."

Focusing his stare at his next youngest brother, Virgil noticed the tension in Gordon's face. A sure sign that his back was bothering him and the only thing that helped was for him to swim then soak in a hot tub. "Gords, are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, just need to get to the hotel and in the pool." It hadn't escaped Gordon's attention that Scott hadn't said anything yet. His penetrating gaze searched for any clue that his little brother was worse off than he was admitting to. "Seriously, Scott, I'm okay. I just need get some water therapy in and I'll be right as rain."

With a tight nod, Scott redirected his attention to Virgil. "Ready to go, Virg? I have your discharge papers tucked in the bag. The nurse said to just push the call button when we're ready to go."

"I'm ready. I hate hospitals," he answered, pushing the call light. When the nurse came in, he was standing with his brothers surrounding him. "I'm ready to leave now."

"I thought you might be," she said. "I have the wheelchair just outside the door."

"Um, I don't need a wheelchair. I can walk."

She shook her head, "Sorry but it's hospital policy that every patient is escorted to an exit by wheelchair."

He felt the not-so-subtle nudge from Scott, "Fine." Glowering up at his big brother, "You're such a bully at times, you know?"

"Big brother's prerogative." He smiled down at the younger man as he settled in the wheelchair. The nurse carefully pushed the wheelchair and Scott walked alongside.

Gordon and Alan looked at one another, grinning. "Johnny and Virg are so screwed while big brother is in smother hen mode."

"Do you think Virgil knows that he'll be confined to the infirmary for a couple of days?"

Gordon chuckled, "I bet he doesn't and he's going to be giving some serious evil glares at Dad and ol' Smother Hen."

Their laughter caught Scott's attention and he glanced back at them. "That can't be good." Shrugging off any worries, he relaxed a little. "We'll be home tomorrow and things will soon be back to normal."

Alone…he was alone again. He glanced over his shoulder nervously but didn't see any shadows trailing after him. There was just a dark void. Fear clutched at his chest as he tried to call out for his dad. His cries were lost in the vast emptiness. Ahead of him, an imposing figure flickered several times before suddenly appearing before him. " Dad?"

"John…wake…"

Reaching out, his eyes widened in horror as his hand passed right through his father's chest. "Dad?"

"Wake up…Johnny."

His eyes snapped open and darted wildly around the room, searching for…For his dad. He was still fighting off the remnants of the nightmare and he failed to see Jeff sitting next to him. Panicked, he cried out, "DAD!"

Suddenly, he felt something warm wrap around him. A familiar scent tickled his nose and a sense of security flooded through him. "I'm here, Johnny. I'm right here." Keeping his face buried against his father's chest, he drifted back to sleep.