Chapter 11 of Avoiding Voldemort or Not

Disclaimer; Jk Rowling owns all Harry Potter rights and I am therefore using her characters/places etc as entertainment. JK rocks the world. You should all bow down to her… just kidding.

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A pregnant Petunia Dursley knocked on the door of the Evans's household. She had just driven all the way from her house where she lived with her husband Vernon across town. Vernon had to go into work, therefore leaving her bored and alone at home.

It was then that she decided to pay her family a visit.

When the door was swung open, Mark Evans stood there looking angry. Upon seeing his daughter his face brightened.

'Hello sweetheart, how are you? Is everything alright?'

Petunia nodded. 'I'm fine. I just came for a visit'

Her father stepped back and allowed her to come inside. She closed the front door and walked into their tiny kitchen. She saw her mother standing by the stove cooking something.

'Oh hello Petunia'

Petunia walked over to her mother and kissed her cheek.

'Hello mother. Are you making lunch?'

Mrs. Evans shook her head. 'No I'm just cooking some food for next door. They've been having a pretty hard time lately'

Petunia gave her a puzzled look. 'Why, what's happened?'

It's not that she cared about them or anything, but because she was often alone she took to listening to gossip from her neighborhood. And now she gossiped everywhere she went.

'I thought you knew? Mr. Potter was killed a week ago. He was taken hostage along with his son, Lily and your father'

Petunia's face whitened. 'Daddy was kidnapped?'

'It's alright. I got out alright. And so did Lily. But then her boss came and told us that Danny was killed. Although we aren't exactly sure'

'Well at least we have one less of that kind in the world' Petunia said snobbishly.

'It'd be better if you weren't here' snapped an angry, injured voice from the stairs.

Petunia caught sight of her sister who was glaring daggers at Petunia. Lily's hair for once, was hanging loosely as of she couldn't be bothered with it. Her emerald eyes she had inherited from her father's side of the family were no longer sparkling with happiness as usual, but were now dull and saddened.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Petunia asked, feeling a little hurt although she didn't want it to show.

'Danny was a great guy! He was like a second father to me and you stand there saying it's a good thing that he's… he's…' Lily trailed off, as if scared to finish the sentence.

'Of course you'd feel that way. He's just like you. A freak' Petunia snapped and that was all it took for Lily to lunge at her sister, wanting nothing more then to make her hurt as much as she was, as if it had been Petunia who had killed Danny. She wanted to blame it all on Petunia, however unfair that may have seemed.

Quick as a flash, their father jumped between them and stopped Lily from hurting her expecting sister.

'Lily calm down! She didn't mean it!'

'She meant every single bloody word! She always does!' Lily shouted wrestling with him and trying to get to Petunia.

'She's pregnant! Lily don't do this, please'

Lily calmed down glaring at her sister as though it would unleash all her hurt and anger.

'I know you're hurting right now… but please just ignore her' Mr. Evans pleaded when suddenly there was a loud pop and her father let her go.

Moody was standing there, looking around the house as if he'd never seen it before.

'Ah, there you are Evans! I need to speak with you' Lily turned abruptly to Moody and nodded.

'Privately'

Lily looked at her parents before striding over to the front door. She walked out and he followed shutting the door behind him.

'Now as you know, Danny was working on the ten year old murder case'

Lily looked up at Moody in curiosity.

'Since he died… There has been no one to take over the case. So Scrimgeour took over'

Lily's eyes widened. 'But… he doesn't think she's innocent! How can he?'

'I don't know what's going on. But Danny told me just last year that if anything happened to him then you and James were to take over. However, he didn't write this down. So the two of you can't legally work on the case'

Lily sighed and shook her head.

'I can't see how we'll win against this one Moody'

Moody too sighed and watched her closely.

'How are you holding up Evans?' he asked gruffly.

'I'm fine' Lily lied and Moody looked as if he knew better.

'Danny told me a lot about you Evans, and lying isn't one of your talents'

Lily closed her eyes and sat on the step.

Moody hesitated and then sat beside her.

'What about James? Heather, Sirius? How are they holding up?'

Lily glanced at him briefly before quickly looking away.

'Sirius is fine. At first he stopped eating but since then he's been better'

Moody waited for her to go on but she didn't elaborate.

'I'm taking it you haven't yet visited James or Heather?'

Lily thought about lying, but remembering how Moody knew she sucked at lying she decided on the truth.

'I don't know… I haven't seen them'

Moody closed his eyes as if he understood what she was going through.

'You should. They'll need someone strong. Heather's usually the one to stand up and take charge when everyone is hurting. But ever since…' Moody trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

'I wish I could just… stop hurting! I don't want to hurt anymore; I don't want to feel anymore pain'

'In these times you don't have a choice. Voldemort and his followers are rising, killing more… We can't choose whether we want to feel pain or not'

'I sometimes wish I never knew Danny. Because if I didn't know him then I wouldn't feel like this'

'Sometimes its good feel at least a little pain in life. And I know that you don't regret knowing Danny, not for a second. Danny cared about you a lot Evans; you were like a second daughter to him. He always spoke fondly of you…'

Tears slipped down Lily's face upon hearing this.

'I lied… I'm glad I knew Danny. But sometimes I just get so angry at him! He promised me we'd get out together and that everything would be okay! But nothing is okay. Danny isn't here, he's so far away and I feel like he's slipping further and further away by the minute'

'If you want to hang onto him, why not try and stick to your promise?'

'What?' Lily asked staring at Moody as if he was crazy.

'He made you promise you'd look after James. I heard him'

Lily sighed. 'It's harder then that…'

'Why haven't you seen him Evans?'

Lily kept her eyes tight shut before opening them and staring at him.

'Because I'm afraid to go back in that house. Back to where I first met Danny, to all those memories of him! If I go back there then it'll be too hard to shake off. And I keep getting the feeling James wouldn't want me to'

Moody made an impatient noise. 'Why on earth would you think that? Of course he wants to see you. He cares about you, and I know that'

'I just…'

Lily sighed.

'I'll go see him. Besides, it's what Danny would want'

'Of course, it's what they both would want. But is it what you would want?'

Lily stared at Moody in confusement and he tapped her leg and stood up and started walking away.

'Oh by the way, I've put protection around your house. The Death Eaters know where you live so…'

Lily nodded and thanked him and he looked around before he Disapparated.

Lily did want to go see James, but there was one thing that stopped her. Something she hadn't told anyone…

-----

Sirius Black thought the day was going to be the best since well… that fateful night when he learned the worst news anyone could give him. It was perfect, the sun was shining yet it wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold either. It was definitely going to be a great day.

Well, that was until he realized that no one had made any plans for Danny's funeral. Nothing had been arranged. And since James and Heather were understandably brooding he took it upon himself to accomplish the task.

So he set to work, deciding what to write on the gravestone, where it would be held etc. It wasn't until his stomach grumbled did he realize it was lunch time. So he got up and walked over to the fridge and opened it.

He grabbed out ingredients to make a sandwich and set about making it. It wasn't until he returned some of the unused items that he felt a pang.

The chocolate cheesecake that Danny had bought the morning he died was still sitting there, untouched.

Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn't bring himself to throw it out, even though it was a week old. Danny was the only one in the family who liked chocolate cheesecake. Sirius preferred strawberry and Heather and James didn't like it much. James liked ice cream the best. And Sirius could safely say that ice cream was better then cheesecake.

Sirius closed the fridge door and grabbed his sandwich and bit into it, hungrily. Remus and Peter had said that they'd be coming over at around two, and it was now twelve.

Once Sirius had finished he used his wand to wash the plate and then put it away. He turned and hurried up the stairs, hoping to get a word or two out of his best mate. But James hadn't spoken much after Sirius's last conversation with him.

'Good morning stag-boy' Sirius said ripping the curtains apart so that sunlight streamed in. James grumbled and shoved his head under the duvet, mumbling things that shouldn't be repeated.

Sirius rolled his eyes and ripped the duvet off of him, causing him to start swearing.

'Prongs, it's a lovely day! You're spending it wasted in here! A good looking guy like you shouldn't be shut away, remember the girl you're currently seeing?'

'Piss off you toss-pot' James muttered shoving his head under his pillow to drown out the words of his best friend.

But Sirius took the pillow too.

'Dammit Sirius give me my sodding stuff back now! I swear I'll kick your arse if you don't!'

'Oh kicking, kicking's good. I just hope you're up for the chase'

Sirius sprinted downstairs with James hot in pursuit.

Sirius ran into the lounge room and made sure the sofa was in between the two.

'Now, it's lovely to see you outside the dark and gloomy dungeon you call a room'

'Give them back to me, now'

'Remus and Peter will be arriving at two and-'

'I don't give damn about that! Just give me my things now or my dad won't be the only one people mourn about'

James's words cut him a like knife as Sirius threw James's belongings to him. James turned sharply on his heel and strode back up the stairs, leaving his best friend feeling like he had been pierced by a billion knives.

'Nice James, real nice' Sirius muttered to no one in particular as he stormed into the kitchen angrily.

-----

'Hey Emm! It's nice to know we think alike' Becky Taylor said as she saw Emmaline Vance-Lupin heading towards the front door of the Evans's household.

'True, true. I've just had a lot on my plate. Remus had to visit his parents and-'

'Did he have to deal with his full moon problem?'

Emm looked taken aback for a moment before nodding.

'Do you believe it's true about Lily hanging out with Carly?'

'I'll only believe it if I hear it from her'

Emm nodded. 'But don't you find it weird that Lily would even be with Carly?'

'I'm not believing anything until she tells me it herself' Becky replied.

'I know but… her parents said she was with her. Why would they lie?'

Becky shrugged and then clicked her fingers. 'Maybe it was a cover up! Maybe Lily didn't want to see anyone so they just used that as an excuse'

Emm shrugged but it seemed as if that were the only suitable option. 'Yeah maybe you're right…'

They knocked on the door and it was answered by Mrs. Evans who said Lily wasn't in the mood to see anyone.

She saw the upset look upon their faces and she said; 'if you want, I can give her a message'.

So they left after telling Mrs. Evans to tell their best friend that they missed her and wanted to see her badly.

They walked along the footpath in silence until they decided to go down town and get a coffee. And with that they walked along until they were able to Apparate to their destination, an alleyway where they wouldn't be seen.

-----

'The bestest people in the whole entire universe have arrived' claimed Peter Pettigrew from the Potter's lounge room. Sirius came racing out of the kitchen looking relieved to see his fellow Marauders and gave them both brotherly hugs.

Remus was looking a little pale and peaky by the always looked that way after a transformation. After apologizing for not being able to be there and Remus telling him not to be stupid and that he understood they decided to pay their sad and lost friend a visit.

'Go away' James called as he heard a knock on his door.

He was answered by another knock, more frantic this time and James yelled at them to 'sod off' but the knocks just became louder and frequent.

When he finally had enough he grabbed a photo frame with a picture of him and his dad and tossed it at the door, and heard it crash and the sound of glass tinkling on the floor could be heard both inside and outside the room.

Suddenly the door burst open and James saw Peter, Sirius and Remus, the latter stowing his wand back into his robes all standing there looking worried.

'What do you want?'

'You to stop pouting' Peter answered and James glared at him.

'So according to you I can't be upset about my dead dad?'

'Of course you can James. But you need to get out a bit more; your dad wouldn't want you to be like this. He'd rather you out and about doing things with your best mates' Remus said walking towards him.

'I don't feel like it' James replied stubbornly and crossed his arms over his chest.

'We could visit Hogsmeade and take a detour down to the Three Broomsticks or Zonko's' Sirius suggested and at first James thought it'd be a good idea. But then he thought of all the people coming up and telling him how sorry they were about his dad.

'No thanks. I think I'll stay here and… read'

Sirius snorted. 'Read? You don't read'

'Of course I can read!'

'Oh… well I didn't know you could read' he said and James actually smiled for a second but then it was gone.

'You guys go on without me… I'll be fine'

Remus shook his head. 'I'm afraid we can't do that Prongs'

James glared at him. 'Why not?'

'We took a pact remember? Second year, right after we found out about Remus's secret. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder' Peter piped up and James sighed.

'Yeah! Either we're all in or none of us are' Sirius said smirking.

'All for one and one for all' Remus added quietly.

James knew that they were right, bit they didn't understand how hard it was for him.

'You lads don't understand' he told them finally.

'Danny was like a father to me too. And yeah, it hurts. But he wouldn't want to see me lock myself away and become a broody arsehole who threatens to kill his own best friend who's been like a brother to him now would he?' Sirius asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

James instantly felt ashamed. He hadn't meant what he had said; he was just so angry. Angry he had lost his father so suddenly, angry that his own father had left him here to wallow in self pity.

'I didn't mean it. I'm sorry' James said finally and Sirius nodded. Sirius had forgiven him; he knew James was just hurting.

'So are we going?' Peter asked impatiently.

'James if it's the people you're worried about then stand up and take their condolences like a man, like the man you're… our dad taught you to be' Sirius said softly and James closed his eyes and stood up.

'I'll go' he whispered softly and Remus clapped him on the back.

'You'd better get changed out of those clothes. You haven't changed them in a week. And perhaps a shower' he said with a smile. 'And a shave too'

James nodded and grabbed some other clothes out of his drawers.

'Thanks guys' he said leaving the room and heading towards the bathroom.

Sirius smiled at them.

'Step one of my get-James-back-to-living-properly plan complete'

Remus chuckled and he and Peter followed Sirius out into the hallway, closing James's door.

'I'm going to go tell Heather that we're going. I'll be right back' Sirius said walking down the hallway and stopped; bravely facing Heather and Danny's room and trying to show no emotion whatsoever.

He knocked first and then stuck his head into the room. Heather was lying on the bed in the middle of the room. Sirius noticed that she was wearing Danny's dressing gown and was holding a picture of her and Danny on their wedding day, smiling happily.

With a pang Sirius walked over and sat on the bed next to her but she didn't even take notice of any living human being sitting beside her.

'James and I are going to go out to Hogsmeade with Remus and Peter. Will you be alright here?' he asked in a soft voice.

If Heather had heard then she hadn't indicated that she had. So he repeated himself a little bit louder.

This time Heather blinked and he sighed.

'Please talk to me…' he whispered but she just closed her eyes. Sirius stood up and walked over to the door.

'Right well if you need anything just go next door and Lily will contact me okay?'

Heather didn't do or say anything so he walked out and paused before he shut the door.

'I'll see you later Heather'

Without even waiting for a reply this time he closed the door and walked off downstairs to where the other two were waiting.

'That's another thing taken care of. I'll just pop round next door and tell Mr. and Mrs. Evans that we're going out and maybe they could come and check up on her'

Peter stood up but Remus stayed seated. 'I'll wait for James'

Sirius nodded and together he and Peter left and went over to next door.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans had agreed happily and had promised to let him know if anything happened and also that they'd come around every half hour. Sirius had told them he didn't want to be of a bother but they had brushed it off as though it were nothing. He had noticed Lily's sister Petunia sitting in the kitchen and she sneered at both him and Peter.

By the time they got back they found Remus and James sitting in the kitchen talking.

'Ready?' Remus asked and all three nodded and they got up and each Apparated into Hogsmeade.

-----

Lily would be lying if she said it wasn't the shock of her life. She would never forget the look on her face when Severus Snape came walking into her bedroom looking concerned. She had caught a look of herself in the mirror on her wall and truthfully her eyes had never been that wide.

The last time she had spoken to him was in their fifth year when he had tried to persuade her to forgive him for calling her a Mudblood. But he had done it one to many times and Lily had been fed up with it. He treated people of the same blood as her cruelly yet he made an exception for her.

So maybe they were friends… best friends at one stage but best friends don't turn around and call you a Mudblood when you're trying to defend them. He had done this countless times and she had had enough. So she told him their friendship was over and never spoke to him again.

'What are you doing here?' she asked staring at him as if she was seeing a ghost.

Snape looked at the floor and then back at her and twisted his hands nervously.

'Sev… Why are you here?'

At the mention of his nick-name Severus Snape flinched.

'I heard about Potter's father and about how close you were to him. And I also heard that you haven't been seeing many people so…' he trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

'Why now? Why turn up now?' Lily couldn't help but feel hurt that he never bothered to see how she was before.

'Better late then never right?'

Lily didn't know what to say.

Snape's greasy hair fell like a curtain into his deep, black eyes as he found her green ones, trying to read them to see what she was thinking.

'Are you still hanging out with the Death Eater crowd?' she asked finally.

'Are you still dating Potter?' Snape shot back and Lily didn't know how to answer that.

'What made you decide to come over here?'

'I don't know… I saw Potter. He's in Hogsmeade with Black, Lupin and Pettigrew'

Lily nodded, trying to act as if this information meant nothing to her.

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry I called you a-that name. I really am'

Lily stared into his eyes, hoping to find a trace that he meant what he was saying.

'How can a Death Eater befriend an Auror? An Auror that's been targeted by the Death Eater's boss?'

Snape opened his mouth but no words came out.

'I wouldn't hand you to him Lily I promise'

'I know… I just… I'm in a really hard place right now'

Snape nodded.

'I've always thought of you as my best friend…'

Lily closed her eyes.

'But I'm guessing that you've moved on… and found other friends. It was foolish of me to come here when clearly I was not wanted'

Snape turned to go.

'Wait!'

He turned back around, watching her hopefully.

'Give me a reason why I should trust you…'

Snape thought for a moment before answering.

'We were best friends once and did everything together. We trusted each other with even our worst secrets. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you intentionally. But you're going to have to figure out your own reason on why you should trust me'

'Sev… do you want to stay for tea?'

Snape pondered the thought and he saw the look on her face. There was only one answer to that.

'Of course'

-----

'Rosmerta how can my life sink so low?' James slurred as he leaned his elbow on the bar and rested his chin on his palm.

The barmaid watched him carefully and then looked at Sirius, Peter and Remus who were all blind drunk and were dancing in the middle of the room. It was around dinner time and James was drinking Fire Whiskey while talking to Rosmerta who he had considered a friend for many years.

'There's a reason for everything James… but sometimes we just don't figure out what the reason is and move on'

'You know… before dad died I was all set. I… I was gonna ask Lily to marry me… and then…' James trailed off as she watched him carefully.

'And then what?'

'I felt like I was shot in the arse from behind and came back to reality' James slurred and dribbled some of his booze down his shirt.

'I think you've had enough of that stuff James' Rosmerta said taking it from him and waving off his complaints.

'My dad's dead. My mum's practically dead… she won't talk to nobody and my girlfriend! My girlfriend hasn't even come to see me. I hate her. This is all her fault… if she hadn't of… if she hadn't of…' James broke of as he slumped forwards and fell asleep right there on the bar and she sighed.

'Poor kid' she muttered as she waved her wand and levitated him upstairs and laid him down on her bed and tucked him in. She then went and pulled the other three up the stairs and laid them down on the bed next to their friend and they soon fell asleep.

Rosmerta left and closed down her bar and then went upstairs and stayed on her couch, wondering whether James's life was going to turn out better, and also wondering what he had meant by it being Lily's fault.

-----

'James! Sirius! There you two are! I've been worried sick!' Mrs. Evans said the next day when the two hung over boys walked into her kitchen. Rosmerta Apparated with them side-long and left them at Mrs. Evans's doorstep telling them to behave.

'Hi hi Mrs. Evans!' Sirius said waving and she sighed.

'Come on, I'll take you over home'

James shook his head. 'Nope. My mum's too busy to look after us'

Mrs. Evans frowned. 'Busy doing what' she asked softly.

'Crying' Sirius answered and she took each of their hands.

'Listen to me. Your mum is in a really, really hard place right now. And she's going to need you both to get through this. And I know you will both be there for her'

They nodded and then she took them into the lounge room. 'I'll just go and get some sleeping bags and pillows and I'll be right back'

They nodded again and sat down on the floor, looking around.

'I feel wasted' James muttered and Sirius laughed.

'Me too'

'Me three'

'Me four'

'Me-'

'Here you go. Now you boys try and get some sleep and-'

'I've got a sodding headache' James said holding his head.

'Well I've got some medicine but I've never been able to whip up one of those drinks you have for a hangover. They were always Mark's specialty. But I'm afraid he went to work this morning so you boys will just have to have some medicine'

They nodded, not really listening and got into their sleeping bags and then Mrs. Evans went and got some medicine and gave it to them and both nearly spat it out.

'You call that medicine? That's disgusting!' Sirius said and Mrs. Evans couldn't help but smile.

'Maybe you boys will think of that the next time you go out and get drunk'

'We're sorry Mrs. Evans… I was just hurting… and I didn't wanna deal with it anymore' James muttered as he lay down and closed his eyes.

'It's alright' she whispered as they slowly fell asleep.

-----

Lily picked up the phone later on that night after the boys had gone home and ordered a pizza. Her parents had gone to see a play and she was home by herself.

She dialed the number, ordered a Hawaiian one and then hung up after being told she had to wait for twenty minutes.

She sighed as she sat down, but only one thing came to her mind and that was James.

She had walked down the stairs that morning and got another big shock when she found them in sleeping bags and her mum explained how they had got there.

She had hurried back upstairs and waited for them to go back home.

But now she was wishing she had just talked to James, and because she kept thinking about him she got up and shut her front door, locked it and then walked over to the Potter's house and walked in through the back. It was dark inside but she pressed on.

She walked up the stairs and paused at James's door, her heart racing.

She knocked on it and then opened it and he was sitting on his bed, looking at the ceiling.

'Padfoot, I'm fine. I just want to-'

'How are you feeling?' she asked and James sat up quickly, and stared at her as if he'd never seen her before.

'Fine…' he said as she walked further in and sat on his bed.

'What're you doing here?' he asked a little gruffly.

'I wanted to see you' she said softly. 'I couldn't stop thinking about you'

He didn't know what to say.

'I'm sorry I waited this long to come and see you James… I was hurting bad enough and I didn't think I could handle that as well. And I know that's selfish but-'

'If you really cared then you would have been over every day'

Lily nodded.

'I know but I do care about you… but I just couldn't face this house because I kept thinking about Danny and I just found it too hard… I'm so sorry… but I came because I love you and I care about you and I just… I wanted to see you. I know they're pathetic excuses but-'

'Yeah you're right, they are'

Lily closed her eyes and when she opened them she found James glaring at her.

She took hold of his hand and kissed it softly.

'Please don't be mad at me James' she said, her voice breaking and he closed his eyes tightly this time.

'Come here' he said and she kneeled forward and he pulled her into a hug.

'I missed you so much' she whispered and suddenly he pushed her away.

'What? What's wrong? James?'

He shook his head.

'You should go' he replied and she stared at him, dumbfounded.

'What? What'd I do? I'm sorry I-'

'What did you do? It's all you're fault Lily!'

Her heart froze for a fraction of a second before starting up and fear began bubbling up inside of her.

'If it wasn't for you, then my dad would still be alive'

Lily felt tears run down her cheeks as she continued to stare at him.

'You're the reason my dad's dead!'

Lily shook her head, not wanting him to say it.

'DON'T SHAKE YOUR HEAD LIKE THAT LILY!' his loud tone startled her and she stood up, and so did he.

'I didn't-'

'DON'T SIT THERE AND SAY THAT YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO! HE WENT AFTER YOU LILY! HE WANTED TO SAVE YOU!'

Lily put a hand over her mouth, her fear almost bubbling over.

'IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! HE CARED ABOUT YOU! YOU WERE LIKE A DAUGHTER TO HIM AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO GO TO THE SODDING HOSPITAL WHEN WE TOLD YOU NOT TO! HE WANTED TO SAVE YOU!'

'James please don't be like this' she whispered.

'If it wasn't for you, my dad would still be here… I really wish I never ever moved next door to you!'

'You don't mean that James you don't' she whimpered and he glared fiercely at her.

'Get out of my house… Evans'

Lily closed her eyes tightly and walked over to the door before turning back to look at him.

'I'm so sorry James…'

He didn't say anything but he looked at her as if he hated her… like he used to.

She turned and walked out, ignoring the look on Sirius's face as she pushed past him and hurried down the stairs and back to her house.

Sirius walked in and stared at James in disbelief.

'You prick' he said angrily and strode over to him looking angrier then James had ever seen him.

'She's your girlfriend!' Sirius yelled and James shook his head.

'No she's not…'

Sirius grabbed his arm tightly.

'You love her! Go and apologize'

'No I don't'

'James you're being a jerk! It wasn't her fault and you know it!'

'Piss of Sirius! I want to be alone!'

'Make me' Sirius replied angrily and James grabbed him and pushed him out the door.

'Sod off Padfoot!' James said fiercely and the next second Sirius had punched him in the jaw.

'What the hell was that for?' James asked angrily.

'For being the arsiest arse on the planet!' Sirius answered and stormed off downstairs.

James turned away and closed his eyes tightly, wishing all of this had never happened.

----

'Lily! Lily open the door it's me!' Sirius called and the front door clicked and Lily was standing there with tears streaming down her face.

'Come here Lils' he said softly and pulled her into a tight hug.

'He hates me Sirius' she said as he shut the door and took her into the lounge room.

'No he doesn't… he's just hurting that's all'

She shook her head as they sat down on the floor and leaned against the couch.

'He really… really hates me. You didn't see the look in his eyes when he looked at me'

'He's just upset and he isn't thinking straight' he told her and wrapped an arm around her.

'I lied…' she whispered and he looked at her, frowning.

'What about?'

'About the reason why I didn't go over there… I didn't want to go over there because I was afraid of him doing that… saying it was my fault. All because I couldn't face the truth…'

'Lily, what are you saying? Danny's death wasn't your fault! Voldemort was the one who killed him! He got Danny with the killing curse when he was busy fighting another Death Eater… he hit him in the back. Moody told me'

Lily stared at him and he wiped away her tears.

'What?'

'Yeah Voldemort was a coward, he didn't want to fight Danny face to face because he knew Danny was better so he got him from behind when he was busy fighting someone else. It wasn't your fault'

'He wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me'

'Yes, he would have. He was going to go to that hospital whether you and James were in there or not because that is who he is… he loved fighting! He loved trying to make the world a better place. And he went after you because he loves you Lils! And so did James… James went after you and then Danny followed…'

'Don't… it is my fault!'

'Danny wouldn't think so. He'd be thinking that you're a complete idiot for thinking that it is and he'd tell you that himself if he was here. He wouldn't want you to think it was your fault… and he's probably really pissed at James right now but you have to understand James loved him. He was James's dad… his role model. When we were kids James wanted to be just like him. He told me'

Lily sighed and closed her eyes and leaned against Sirius.

'I just wish James would think so… he does hate me'

'He doesn't… I promise you'

Lily looked at him and opened her mouth but Sirius got in before she did.

'I know Danny promised you that you would all get out. And you did. You got out of hostage. But he stayed behind to help… and James and you both wanted to'

Lily nodded and the doorbell rang.

'Maybe that's James coming over to sweep you off your feet and tell you he's sorry for being an arse'

Lily chuckled. 'Actually I think it's the pizza guy'

Sirius cracked a grin.

'Well I'm super glad I came over here'

She smiled and he got up.

'I'll deal with the pizza dude and um… you clean yourself up'

'There's money on the counter' she said and walked up the stairs.

Sirius opened the door and a guy stood there in the pizza delivery uniform.

'Hi. What do I owe you?' Sirius asked grabbing the money.

The guy told him and Sirius had a bit of trouble with the money but the guy helped sort it out. Sirius thanked him, took the pizza and saw Lily coming down the stairs.

'Everything okay?'

'Yep! Gave him the money… took the pizza and he left and yeah'

'Thank you Sirius' he just smiled at her and walked into the lounge room.

'Wanna watch a movie?' she asked and he nodded.

'Okay! But no murder ones' Lily smiled and grabbed them out and let Sirius choose and he chose The Hot Chick. (A/N; I know this movie never existed then but I can't think of movies that were and plus I think The Hot Chick is pretty cool. Anyway just pretend it was in back then)

They sat down and ate the pizza and watched the movie whilst laughing and everything. Lily tried to forget about James but it wasn't easy.

When the movie finished Sirius looked at her.

'Can I tell you a secret?'

She nodded and he said; 'I'm mad at Danny. I'm mad at him for not coming home. And I hate myself for that. But I'm mostly mad at Voldemort for being such a coward…'

Lily sighed. 'How's everything at the house?'

'Crap… Heather won't talk to anyone at all… James…' he trailed off but she shrugged.

'It's okay'

He sighed. 'He hasn't been himself. And for awhile he shut everyone out until Remus, Peter and I tried to force him to come to Hogsmeade yesterday'

Lily nodded.

'Can I tell you a secret?'

He smiled at her, 'sure you can'.

'Snape came over last night'

Sirius stared at her, looking as if he didn't believe her.

'Come on! Severus Snape? Snivellous? The Death Eater Snape?'

Lily nodded. 'He said he was sorry for calling me a-'

'Name that won't be mentioned' Sirius cut in.

'Yeah and I asked him if he wanted to stay for tea and he did. He didn't stay long though. Had dinner then left'

Sirius whistled.

'So are you's like… friends?'

'I think we're trying to be'

Sirius sighed.

'Lily… he's a Death Eater… are you sure you can trust him?' Lily noted that his voice was full of worry.

'We were best friends when we were younger but Hogwarts got in the way. We grew apart. But I know him and I know he wouldn't try to hurt me. He cares about me'

Sirius sighed once more and closed his eyes.

'I don't think it's such a good idea'

'Sirius-'

'Lily! I cannot believe you're trusting him! Do you know what Danny would say if he was here?'

Lily stared at him. 'Sirius that isn't fair'

Sirius shook his head.

'He would tell you exactly what I'm telling you. You can't trust a Death Eater, they're untrustworthy. Hey listen to me Lily. Where was Snape the first time Voldy captured you? Huh? Did he come to see how you were coping then? No he didn't. So why this time, when you got away from his master again?'

Lily sighed. 'I don't know. But it isn't like that… He even said I'm still his best friend and that I always have been'

'Yeah and he's also a Slytherin'

'What the hell is that supposed to mean? So what?'

'Slytherins only care about themselves. They would save themselves and screw everyone else. Maybe Voldemort's going to reward him if he gets you to him'

'Sirius please don't do this! If Danny was here he'd warn me against it, yeah. But he'd also respect my decision…'

Sirius groaned. 'I'm sorry I just… I don't want to see you get hurt'

'I won't'

'You told James he'd never lose you and now look… he nearly did. You could have been killed while you were there and erm…'

Lily frowned at him.

'Sirius please don't hassle me about it. I made my decision and it's done'

Sirius nodded and smirked.

'Next thing you'll tell me is that you're friends with Carly'

Lily stayed silent and didn't say anything and he stared at her in shock.

'Lily!'

'We put aside our differences…'

'Okay this is bizarre. First you be friends with Snivellous again and then you go and sort your differences out with Carly. What the hell is going on with the world?'

Lily laughed.

'Very funny. And don't call him that, it's not nice. And Carly is actually a nice person when you get to know her'

Sirius snorted. 'You do remember she was the one who made complications between you and James right?'

'I know, I know. But the main thing is that we aren't you know, bitter enemies. And besides she's pretty cool. She took me shopping the other day and I got a skirt and-'

She broke off as Sirius burst out into hysterical fits of laughter.

'A skirt? You?'

'Shut up!' she said and hit his arm.

'Look… she said it looked nice on me'

'How short is it?' Sirius asked when he finished laughing his head off.

Lily blushed. 'It's a mini'

Sirius began to laugh yet again making Lily go even redder.

'I probably won't even wear it anyway!'

Sirius suddenly sobered up.

'Go put it on'

Lily shook her head.

'Nuh uh, no way'

'Come on'

'No, you'll laugh at me'

'Please? I promise I won't laugh'

Lily watched him closely for a few seconds before giving in. She went up stairs and Sirius shook his head and waited.

When she finally came back he gaped at her.

'I knew it was a bad idea to buy it! I'm just going to take it back and-'

'Excuse me, but what happened to Lilian Jane Evans?'

'Ha, ha. You're so funny' she replied sarcastically.

'No I mean it Lily, it looks nice'

Lily raised her eyebrows.

'I would compliment you more but the words I choose might not be appropriate'

Lily laughed and stuck her tongue out at him.

'So why'd you buy it?' he asked as she turned and walked back upstairs to change. He followed her and waited outside her room and when she came out (in her pajamas) he asked her the question again.

'I dunno… I guess I was having a crummy day and… I just did. Plus Carly told me to and yeah. If anyone knows anything about clothes it would be her' Lily replied as they went downstairs.

They cleaned up their stuff and she turned to him.

'You wanna stay down here tonight mate?'

He shrugged. 'Doesn't worry me'

She grinned and hugged him.

'Thank you Sirius. I'm really lucky to have you'

'Isn't everyone?' he asked arrogantly and she chuckled.

'Maybe, maybe not'

He smiled.

'I'll be fine with a sleeping bag Lily'

'Tell you what, I'm gonna keep you company and sleep down here too. Couch or mattress?'

'Whichever one you're not having'

Lily groaned.

'In that case I've got dibs on the mattress' She grinned and ran back up stairs and in a few minutes she came back with two duvets, two pillows and a mattress was floating along beside her.

'Has Moody put protection around your house?'

'Yeah, ever since the night… We came to rescue you' he finished but Lily knew he hadn't meant to say that.

'He put some around here; he told me just the other day'

'Well at least you're all safe, that's the main thing'

'True. Anyway I'm gonna hit the sack, I'm really tired'

'Alright. Night Lils'

'Night Sirius' Lily said lying down on her mattress and chucking her duvet over herself while Sirius snuggled down into the couch.

It had only been a few minutes and she could already hear his soft snores.

She sighed.

She wondered whether James was asleep or not, whether he was okay and whether he, like her felt lonely even though she had company.

'Goodnight James' she whispered and rolled over and not long after she finally fell asleep.

-----

A/N; Okay! So it has been quite a while, but I would have had it up on Wednesday but it wasn't finished and even though I could have finished it I got a bit busy since Wednesday was my LAST day of summer holidays (sniff) and I had to start school yesterday. And it's only the second day back and I already have HOMEWORK and that really sucks.

Year 10 is actually harder then I thought it would be. And maybe I won't be able to update a lot considering homework issues… erm… mean teachers who actually give me sodding homework… and yeah. Oh and my School Certificate which will be bloody hard…

But anyway enough rambling about school.

These chapters have been pretty sad lately but they will soon get better and everyone will move on… but won't forget I assure you.

Well thanks again to the lovely inspiring reviews. Very much appreciated they are.

♥ always,

LilyHeartsJames