Chapter 1: New Friends and New Enemies

Lizzie took a deep steadying breath and walked into her first ever class in graduate school. She looked around the room, taking stock of the seating situation and the other people in the room. Not unexpectedly, there were only two other people there. Lizzie had been anxious and arrived at class 30 minutes early. But, trying to look like a normal, not-anxious person, she had sat in her car for an extra 15 minutes so she wouldn't be too early.

The classroom was small, probably only accommodating 15-20 people at the most. All the chairs were in a circle, about ten of them. She spotted a chair that looked just about right for her, next to a gangly red-head who looked as anxious as she felt. She quietly slid into the seat, quickly getting a feel for the room. She was seated with her back close to a wall, so she could lean back against it if she felt like it. She could see both doors, as people started to trickle into the classroom. Finally, she worked up the courage to try to make her first friend in grad school. She turned to find the over-large looking red-head already holding a hand out to shake hers, a gigantic grin plastered on freckled face.

"Hi! I'm Charlie. This is my first class of the semester, and I feel like I'm going out of my mind." He let the whole sentence out in one big breath, and Lizzie found herself unable to stop herself from smiling back at him.

"I'm Lizzie. It's good to meet you. It's my first class today too, and I'm really nervous." She shook his hand firmly, noticing that he had a strong warm grip.

"Oh wow! You look so calm, I would have thought you'd been in school for a while! What'd you get your undergrad in?" Lizzie felt her nervousness slowly melting away as she kept talking to Charlie, light heartedly comparing classes they'd taken in undergrad and what they were most nervous about for the upcoming semester. His anxious jolliness was infectious, and it seemed like he couldn't stop himself from smiling and speaking excitedly if he tried. He seemed to be a natural people person, and Lizzie envied that. She had always been good at reading people, but initiating relationships and conversations was a whole different ball game.

There were others in the class to get to know in addition to Charlie; an older woman, Beth, in her 50s or 60s who dressed like she had never left the 1980's and didn't care to impress anyone with being modern; Jennifer, in her 40s who expressed a deep fear of of Professor DeBurg's purported teaching style; a 30-something year old man named Colin with thinning hair and acne who didn't say much of anything. There were a few other younger women and a young man on the other side of the room from Lizzie, probably around her age, but before she could introduce herself, the professor walked in.

"Alright, folks. I'm Dr. Landon, let's dive right in. There are three textbooks for this course and 2 major projects. In addition, there are reading and writing assignments due on a weekly basis. There will be occasional quizzes in class. You will need a partner for both of your major projects. Your partner will not be assigned, so choose wisely. The syllabus clearly lays out when readings and assignments are due, so that will be your scripture for this semester. I do not accept late work. Everything clear? Great. Now let's talk about practical research."

Lizzie felt her excitement and nervousness start to build again, as she pulled out her notebook to start scribbling down what the professor was saying. A piece of paper slid onto her desk. Small square letters, saying, "Partners?" She looked over and smiled at Charlie, giving him a quick thumbs-up and a look of relief. At least she wasn't alone.

Only a week into the semester, and she felt like she was being actively buried alive. She made eye contact with one of her classmates, Charlotte, and rolled her eyes. Professor DeBurg continued to drone on in the background of their addictions class, lecturing about different types of stimulants and their effects on the nervous system. She had just assigned three more chapters to read for the week, with a paper due the week after. The woman just had a way about her that made Lizzie want to tear her own hair out and gag the woman with it. It wasn't just that she was pretentious, she had no real world experience to speak of. She had proudly reported on their first day of class that she had been in academia for the last 35 years, since she completed her own doctoral education.

She texted Charlotte a gif to express how she felt like she was dying internally, and she could see Charlotte trying to hold back a giggle. She liked Charlotte and a lot of her other classmates, although her ability to socialize outside of school was pretty limited. She sometimes wished that she could just go out for a coffee or dinner with her classmates, but life and school didn't leave her that kind of time. She waved goodbye to Charlotte at the end of class, after turning down an invitation to go to her apartment to study. By far, research was her hardest class, and she already had made plans to go to Charlie's apartment for the evening to start brainstorming for their first major project as partners.

The walk home was completely mindless, as she tried to take the few minutes she had to let her brain rest, before starting her homework. It was a beautiful day, with a late summer tiredness that made Lizzie feel relaxed and very alive. It had been a busy day, and it was far from over. But for now, she looked up into the sky, eyes closed, and she let herself experience the warm sun pouring down over her. She continued walking, occasionally blinding herself to the world. Finally, she decided to let herself dive into the moment completely, stretching her arms out to her sides and spinning slowly as she continued to walk. Right into a wall.

As she looked up from the ground, she realized the wall was actually a very nice looking man who was completely covered in coffee. He had dark, curly hair that hung over his ears with a few strands falling onto his forehead. He was tall and his skin was somewhat olive-toned. She met his dark brown eyes. He was pissed.

"What the hell were you doing walking spinning around like that?!" He demanded, his voice loud and angry. She noticed that his gray shirt was more wet than dry, and his coffee cup hung completely empty from his right hand. She could feel herself flushing bright red. She was never going to spin in public again.

"I am so sorry! I was just really enjoying the weather and the sunshine and a break from school, and I wasn't thinking! I'm so sorry! I'll go get you a napkin, or… or…" She grabbed a large leaf from a nearby tree, "maybe a leaf could help? Sometimes I use these to wipe my hands off when I'm hiking…" She trailed off and her face got about 20 degrees hotter as she realized she was rambling and had just offered this stranger a leaf to clean his coffee-stained shirt.

"Well maybe pay more attention next time! And learn to contain yourself in public." He angrily threw his coffee cup in a trashcan as he stalked away from her, barely brushing her shoulder as he went past. He was walking so quickly that he was already half way down the block before she could recover from her shock.

"Well fuck you too." She muttered under her breath as she turned and continued her walk home, decidedly less enthusiastic now.

"Okay, Janie, I'm about to head in, so I'll talk to you when I get home. Love you!" She quickly ended her call before knocking loudly on Charlie's apartment door. She was a little nervous. It had been a long time since she had been to a guy's apartment, and her social anxiety was strong. She didn't think Charlie had any thoughts about her besides being classmates and maybe heading towards becoming friends, and she certainly wasn't thinking anything else, but there was always that worry. She knew that she could handle whatever came up, but the not knowing really killed. All of the nervousness melted away as soon as Charlie opened the door with his customary grin.

"Lizzie! I have snacks! I don't know about you, but I need food fuel when I'm working on a project this stressful. I swear, Dr. Landon is trying to kill us. Do you ever feel like every one of our professors thinks that we aren't taking any other classes or have any other homework?" Charlie's customary ramble continued as he ushered her into the apartment and sat her down on the couch. Before she knew what had happened, she had a glass of milk in one hand and a cookie in the other. Apparently Charlie was a stress baker.

She took in the apartment as she started scarfing her cookie. It was small, but not tiny. The living room had two brown, slightly worn down couches. She felt like she was sinking into her seat and she would never make it out again. The walls were a warm beige, and the walls only had a few pictures of Charlie and, presumably, his parents and siblings. There was low-level clutter almost everywhere. It was very homey, and perfectly reflected Charlie's personality. She tuned back into Charlie's rambling to hear him say, "What do you think of the homework that Dr. Foster gave us?"

"Oh man. Don't even get me started. I was trying to be extra mindful on my walk home today, and I did the most embarrassing thing ever. I had my eyes closed, and I was just taking in the sunshine. It was so warm and nice, and I was out of class for the day. The next thing I know, I ran right into this dude, and he spilled his coffee everywhere. And then, when I tried to apologize…" The loud sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted Lizzie's story, and she looked away from Charlie to see another man standing in the entrance to the hallway. But it wasn't just another man. It was coffee-shirt guy. He still had a slightly angry look on his face, his eyebrows scrunched together and his lips pursed.

"Oh! Lizzie, this is my roommate," Charlie said, "Fitzwilliam Darcy."