Sorry that we havent been back in a while, but here is our excuse.....Flower is still going to college far far away from Shadow, and Shadow just finished with community college and is about to move away to another college, which will put us even further further apart from eachother. * Sad tear* So to all of your wishes, we will update as much as we can, but please dont expect us to continue to update

on a regular basis. We do regret doing this to ya'll but us working on getting our degrees and having jobs is our main priority at the moment.

So without further ado we have a new update for you!!! Please enjoy!!!!!!!

Sex Education At Hogwarts

Chapter 3

Shadow: Godnabmitsunaflowerbiscuits!!!!! Flower, I hate your computer!!!!!

Flower: I hate it too! ....At times*Grins*

Shadow: So, since we haven't updated lets get on with the show!!!

Disclaimer: It's on the first page, go read it there..

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Voldermort sat back in his office thinking of ways to get those damned bratty children to learn about the parts of the body of each species(GENDER?)...

Turning on his magical radio a song from the muggle world that had become famous in the wizarding world filled his ears. Laughng with glee and clapping his hands he pulled out his wand and recorded the song and began to form his lesson plan for the next two days......

20 minutes later students began filing out into the hallways from the greathall. Ron was groaning and rubbing his now swollen stomach and making puffy cheeks as is he was going to barf. In which he did, gloriously and loudly down the back of Pansy Parkinsons robes and hair. Harry turned to his friend with a disgusted look on his face while Hermione was snickering with the rest of the rest of the students.

"Ron, I may not like her for she is a whinny clingy she devil, but that was just cruel. And for that, I am denying all knowledge of your exsistence."

Harry stated with a sneer and walked over to Hermiones side and thumping her in the back of the head, "Shut up, stop laughing at the poor girl, How would you like it if some person you didn't like threw up all over your robes and hair? You wouldnt, you'd be hexing them into the next century." Harry stated before walking ahead away from the two baffoons that he calls friends.

Hermione stopped and thought about what harry said before turning to a open mouth ron and slapped him across his cheek, " Harry is right you are an insisetive jerk who has no manners, Ronald Weasley, I will be informing your mother about this!"

Ron opened his mouth to apologize but all that came out of his mouth was green and yellow and brown spew all over Hermiones face and hair plus all down her robes.

The entire body who was watching the proceedings with rapt interest even Pansy who had been shrieking about her hair since her robes could be fixed stopped to watch the proceedings with baited breathe they all took in a gasp as they saw Hermiones eyes turn to slits and bring out her wand, her mouth opened and the most vilist hex came out of her mouth.

" With all my strength and power, bring to life all the armor and silverware in all of hogwarts to reign down their wrath upon a one Ronald Bilius Weasley! She hissed out between her teeth.

Rons eyes widened even further and squeeked when a suit of armor stepped up behind his estranged friend, " Mi?" He squeeked out before turning tail and running away from her.

Hermione grinned maliciously and swished her wand changing his wardrobe to a litte french maids outfit that left nothing to the imagination while stalking after him throwing stinging

hexes to his now naked backside.

While during all of this Voldermort having heard the confrontation in the hallway conjoured a chair, a large drink and a popcorn and proceeded to sit and munch on his treat while snickering to himself

watching with rapt interest.

McGonagall ran down the hallway and began shooing students to their designated classrooms." Tom Riddle! How dare you sit there and watch those two display such disregard for the school rules, I should have you fired!"

Old Voldy rolled his eyes and looked up at her." Oh shut it Minerva, they are showing good signs from the Sex Education class...For instance, it is classic that the male species does soemthing stupid , in this case, heaving up all his breakfast all over his best friend and another girl. Thus, the friend takes it upon herself to defend the other girls honor and hers and demonstrates violent tendices to get back at the stupid male." He stated factually.

Minerva opened her mouth to retort but stopped short and tilted her head to the side to think for a moment. " Alright, I see your point, clearly this is for showing your students what can happen, but I do expect you to stop them within the next five minutes." She replied before turning away and stalking off to her classroom. Shrugging his shoulders he continued to watch while telling a distraut Pansy to go clean herself off and stay in her room since the trauma of being barfed on by a Weasley would surely be exhausting and would require a nap.

Inside the classroom Harry was shaking his head and muttered " Dumbass" to the empty room, or so he thought was empty "Yes you are, but if you are talking about your weasel then he is the most supidist male in our history, I do believe he has made me wish I was a female because he has insulted us by doing the most idiotic peebrain thing a person can do, for you see Pansy will extract her revenge on the stupid sod."

Harry turned to look at the gorgeous specimen called Draco Malfoy and tried not to salvitate at the sight of the other boy in his black custom made slacks and his school white button up shirts with his robes undone on the side. His hair wasn't slicked back with his bangs hanging down seductively in front of his silver blue eyes. Draco grinned knowing what the look on Harry's face protrayed in his mind. "Tsk tsk tsk potter, drooling over me will only result in you looking foolish when I tell the whole school that you fancy getting into my pants."

Harry's eyes slitted and bared his teeth hissing. Stalking up to the other boy he pushed him up to the wall and trapped him in with his arms. "Don't think for a minute that you can tell the school that I fancy you, because they won't believe you, you fabricate so many lies, I'm still suprised that you have your stuid following. Now as for me fancing getting into your pants, if you want it that bad come to the entrance of the great hall tonight and I'll show you just what you're missing when all the girls and boys recieve when it comes to me."

"Oh please, you wouldnt be able to handle me!" Draco his hands struggled to get away only furthering Harry pushing up against him making it known just what the idea of getting into Draco's pants did to him. Draco's eyes widened and he groaned " And dont manhandle me, I am delicate damnit!" Harry snorted releasing the boy and stepping away. " Tonight, 10..Don't be late Malfoy." Harry turned away and went and sat down at their shared desk leaving Draco standing there wondering what the hell just happened.

Just as soon as Harry sat down the rest of the students began to fill into the classroom with Voldy bringing up the rear." Unfortunantly, Mr. Weasley will have to spend the rest of the day in the infirmary due to mulitple injuries and Ms. Granger, 20 points to Gryfindor for that display of magical knowledge, are you sure you don't want to follow me? I could make it worth your wild?"

Hermione blushed and shook her head,"Fine then we will talk about that later. Malfoy sit down next to Potter...NOW!"

"Now on today's lesson we will learn the fundamental uses of tampons, pads, douches, feminine spray and wipes, the best brands and sizes that should match each female perfectly. We wil also learn the risks of tampons and the sprays if used incorrectly, and at the end of the lesson I will have the girls go behind this screen here and I will glamour all of them to not have any faces so no guy can recognize them, but they will be able to see and they will undress and each of them while you guys will be learning as well in case you ever need to assist to know how to apply a tampon....." He grinned maniacaly when all the students gasped in outrage but went on with his lecture.

"First of we will begin with the pads." He conjoured pads for all the students in front of their faces. " Go ahead and open it and examine it. These are used for girls or women who do not wish to use tampons. They have this unique shape to fit the girls underwear and the thick material

is used to absorb the girls flow when her monthly arrives. It also has these inserts in them to make it to where they won't bleed out onto their clothes, this is really helpful to women who do not wish to go around with blood on their pants. Now, if the girl/woman doesn't use these then they use

tampons. Now, these little buggers when I first encountered them i thought they were projectile missiles but I was sorely wrong when one of them hit a muggle in the head and she proceeded to barate me in front of a crowd and then tell me the uses of them. I found them fascinating so I began to

research them. Now. What these do , is they go inside the womans vaginal cavity and they stay in place, the cotton swab absorbs the blood making it swell, and when it is ready to be changed the woman must pull the little string that is attached to the end of it and remove it carefully, wrap it up

and dispose of it properly...Now...All the girls come up here and get behind this screen, strip and whenever youre ready i'll say the incantation and then you'll come out and all of you will go to a desk and demostrate how to put one in....."

** OOOC CRAPNESS!!! ****

Shadow: FLOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to pee again.....

Flower: HAHAHA gonna suck for you tonight at work!!!

Shadow: That's not funny, I'm actually gonna have to tell my bosses why I'm disapearing to the bathroom all the time!!

Flower: In the name of the father , the son and the holy spirit..Prepare to be embarresed tonight...

Shadow: Thou art a vile evil cruel wench thou art.....

Flower: YES! MY LIFES CAUSE IS NOW COMPLETE!!!

Shadow: Damnit , I insult her and she's happy...*Sighs happily* I've missed you Flower....

Flower: I know....

Back to the embarresment called our story.....

The boys in the room groaned in embarresement as a girl moved onto each of the tables, and began to show them exactly how to insert a tampon. Some of the boys began retching while some of them looked on with rapt interest.

Meanwhile Harry and Draco were sheilding their eyes. "Potter, that is the most disgusting thing i have ever seen! Oh my eyes, it burns it burns!!!"

Harry nodded to draco's words as Voldermort began on with their lesson, this went on for another fifeteen minutes, the girls finished up and once they decent enough and throroughly embarressed they all sat down and finished with their lesson for today.

"Now, you miscreants, begone with you and leave me be before i am plagued by you lot again!!" Voldermort shout and swished his wand, the sound of Lady Gaga's Love Game filed the air making the the students stop to stare at the man in bewilderment while old moldy Voldy began to sashay his hips

back and forth singing.

TwinsOfMischief!: Hi hi all, we have finally updated a chapter! We hope you like it, and we will try our hardest to come up with another story out of our asses for you real soon! Please review and loves to all!!!!