Careless Whisper
Part 4 of the Astoria/Draco Series

Pt. 2

I should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

In the pit of his stomach, Draco realized that Snape had been right all along. What had he been thinking, bringing a girl into all this? Why couldn't he have waited until after his mission, after all this hell was behind him? He'd been so selfish, taking her on a mere impulse! And Astoria had been too young and naïve to say no…

Draco had wasted his only chance all due to greed…that stupid, bloody, inborn Malfoy greed…He'd never get this chance with someone else—nothing would be this passionate.

Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend

To the heart and mind ignorance is kind

And there's no comfort in the truth

Pain is all you'll find

When Draco adjusted his hand on her waist, Astoria bristled at the touch. She still could not cope with the thought that it was a murderer's hand that rested on her side, and a murderer's fingers that held hers. She swallowed uneasily, her hand shifting slightly in his clutch as this unease tossed about in her mind.

Her thoughts brought her back to the day so many weeks ago when the Gryffindor Katie Bell had been cursed. That really had been the beginning of the end for the two. That night when Astoria's roommate had so carelessly whispered that Bell may have been "killed" had started the insidious doubts and spurred her never-resting curiosity to seek out the truth. To think she had once believed that the truth would abate all her worries and fears! Astoria fervently wished that she had never even thought about the cursed necklace or questioned Draco's motives. Relentless curiosity had ruined her bliss, and the quicksand truth had only hurt her; to think she had foolishly hoped that such a thing would bring comfort! The truth had never helped her—it had only brought pain.

I'm never gonna dance again

These guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

Draco wanted to groan from the number of thoughts and ideas battling in his head. So desperately did he want to tell Astoria what had happened atop the tower that night! Yet another side restrained the truth from escaping; if he really cared for her, wouldn't it be better to wait until the war was over before trying to win her back? If there was anything Draco was sure about, it was that Hogwarts was only going to become a more dangerous place. Wouldn't it be better if Astoria continued to loathe him so that she kept her distance?

But Draco couldn't fight the passion for her that pounded through his veins. He didn't want any more restless nights tossing around in bed wondering if she still loved him. If he was going to be thrashing about in bed anymore, Astoria had better well be with him. Draco Malfoy was inexcusably selfish and he bloody well knew it. As he danced with Astoria, he realized that he now felt exactly as he had that day on the train; he needed her to be his. Draco was sick to his stomach of this depravity—he could play the chivalrous role of the selfless hero no longer.

And so he felt guilty.

I should have know better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

Astoria couldn't believe how long the Weird Sister's ballad was dragging on. She felt as though she had been dancing for ages, one hand locked in Draco's while the other rested on his shoulder. The entire situation was tiring—the dancing, the worries from before, the unbreakable tension between them—and Astoria wanted nothing more than for this song to be over.

As the music droned on, she was finding it harder and harder to control her feuding desires; one side of her wanted to toss both her arms around Draco's neck, while the logical part wanted to slap him in the face for all that he had put her through.

"Why did he have to ask me to dance? Why couldn't he have just left me alone? I was so much happier…" Even as Astoria thought all this, she couldn't supply an answer. If Draco loathed her as much as he had said, why was he here tonight? If he was the self-centered git she had made him out to be all summer, why had he made sure she was out of the castle before the attack all those nights ago? Astoria risked a glance at his face; Malfoy's eyes were transfixed upon the floor behind her. She quickly looked back over his shoulder, hoping to Merlin he hadn't noticed.

Astoria wasn't sure why he was here…but she was quite positive that all she wanted to do was forget that Draco Malfoy even existed.

Tonight the music seems so loud

I wish that we could lose this crowd

Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we wanna say

The memories his presence evoked were painful for Astoria. Somehow they had managed to drift closer together, whether by accident or their own doing, and she could now smell the soft cologne scenting his dress robes--the same scent she had once inhaled so happily. Images of her laying her dark head on his shoulder, kissing his lips in between classes, and waiting for him by their statue on the second floor resurfaced in her mind, their passion cracking her heart in two.

As her mind replayed these memories, Astoria slowly began to realize just how much she had been lying to herself. No matter how many times she pushed the thought of Draco from her mind and foolishly comforted herself with reasons why she should hate him, the fact still remained that she loved him—no matter how irrational or foolhardy the idea seemed.

"No…I refuse…I can't love him, think of all he's done to me, all the heartache he'll bring…" Astoria could feel her eyes begin to well with tears as her logic adamantly refused to accept Draco—the man she loved—No!— into her life again. Choking back a sob, she dropped his hand and pulled away, covering her face with a hand as she roughly pushed her way through the crowd and toward an outdoor balcony.

Freezing air met her bare arms as Astoria stepped outside, the clear night sky and a glowing crescent moon shining down on her. She ignored the scenery, however, and stumbled away from the large and imposing windows of the ballroom that spied on her. She collapsed on a stone railing by the side of the house, hiding so that no eyes could witness the tears that now barraged her cheeks.

Astoria ran her shaking tear streaked hands through her hair, the warm rivers that flowed from her eyes dripping off the tip of her nose and seeping into the corners of her mouth. Her head pounded while her troubles whirled around disastrously in her mind, leaving her spinning. What was she possibly going to do?

She heard footsteps coming toward her on the terrace and her heart sank; all she wanted was to be alone. Astoria turned her bleary eyes from her hands to see who the newcomer was. It was just as she'd feared.

"Go away…" Astoria mumbled, trying to wipe the many tears from her eyes. "I don't need you…I don't want you…" Draco only stood there, unflinching, his eyes befuddled with indecision.

"Astoria…" he finally choked out weakly. She buried her face in her palms once again, wishing only that she could be alone. He laid a hand on her shoulder, but she quickly retaliated.

"Didn't you hear me? I said to leave me alone!" Astoria grumbled as she tried to pull away. However Malfoy held on, his grip tightening on her shoulder.

"Astoria," he said again. "Astoria, look at me." She ignored his command and only pressed deeper into her hands, fingers pulling at her black roots.

"Astoria!" Draco repeated, this time with more frustration. He gripped both her shoulders and pulled her face from her hands, her back pressing up against the stone railing. Her head lolled to the side as she refused to look at him. His eyes—those two grey eyes—would break her.

"Astoria, look at me," Malfoy said, his voice strained. She only bit her lip and continued looking downwards, black hair hiding her face. "I said look at me!" Draco bellowed, his frustration taking hold of him as he gave her shoulders a violent shake. Besides giving a shudder, Astoria still ignored him, her body limp as a ragdoll in his hands. At this he pushed her away as he ground his teeth in anger, hands balling into fists at his sides.

"Why must you be so damned impossible?" he fumed. At this Astoria did look up, her bleary eyes blazing.

"Oh I'm the impossible one, am I? So I suppose you believe this is all my fault, don't you?" she choked out, belligerently swiping the remaining tears from her eyes before crossing her arms tightly against her chest.

"The hell it is! If it wasn't for you--" Draco bitterly began to retort.

"If it wasn't for me, Malfoy, you'd be dead! Or have you forgotten who pulled your foolish arse from the Prefect's bath that night?" Draco angrily beat his fist against the stone walls of her house, mind tumbling around angrily for a reply.

"You," he fumed, walking stiffly towards her, "are the most annoying little--" He had barely begun to speak when her hand flew to his face, palm smacking harshly against his cheek.

"You are a monster, Draco Malfoy! Coming to me the night of my sister's birthday, asking me to dance with you, and still being crude enough to blame me for all this! Have you no respect for me, Draco Malfoy?" He fumbled for the right words, but nothing would come to mind. "Well?" she snapped. "Answer me!" Though her speech was fiery, Astoria could feel her barriers begin to break down. As he stood there silently, tears began to creep back into her eyes.

"Then good-bye, Malfoy," she choked as the tears began to fall. She stumbled down the balcony once more, her muffled sobs becoming greater with each step.

We could have been so good together

We could have lived this dance forever

But now who's gonna dance with me?

Please stay

Draco stood there in his fury, watching her walk away. This whole argument hadn't been his original plan; he had sought her out to make amends, not blow up in her face and make everything worse. He knew this was really all his fault—Astoria'd had nothing to do with it. Yet somehow he still couldn't bring himself to call after her, to apologize; if he went too far, he'd eventually have to give her the truth.

And what good had the truth been before? How had he, Draco, been so foolhardy as to believe that telling a fourteen-year-old girl whom he loved that he was a Death Eater would possibly make anything better? He had ruined it. The one thing that could have been perfect in his life had been broken to pieces by his own hand. And now it seemed like he had only gone out of his way to make matters worse.

Because of all this, Draco would have nobody. After this whole war was over, who would ever want him, a bedraggled and broken Death Eater who had ruined his own chances? Astoria sure wouldn't, and he couldn't blame her.

Yet something kept flipping around uneasily in his stomach. Draco wanted Astoria in his arms, and he wanted her now. Yes he'd screwed up, and perhaps telling her new truths would only make matters worse, but he couldn't watch her walk off from him again. No—Astoria was his. While he was sure their situation would probably drop again, he knew they would eventually have to hit rock bottom. Shouldn't it only be up from there?

Making up his mind, Draco chased after her, his previous anger now completely washed from him. Astoria hadn't gone far and he was soon level with her, hand grasping her arm. She whipped around, fingers flying to his own as she tugged away from him.

"What do you think you're--"

"Astoria," he pacified her. "Astoria, please stay…I need you…"

Juicy stuff :) Review it?

-Jackie//xxArtemisxFowlxx