Careless Whisper
Part 4 of the Astoria/Draco Series

Pt. 3

I'm never gonna dance again

These guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

She paused her struggling for a moment, face incredulous as she stared at him with her lips slightly agape.

"Wh-what?" Astoria finally voiced, eyebrows knitting together as she stared at him with a mixture of surprise and disgust.

"Astoria…just don't leave again," Draco answered, still hoping to avoid indulging the truth that was beginning to sound rather foolish. This strategy, however, was getting him nowhere with Astoria.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't," she snapped while yanking her arm free from his grasp. Draco noticed that she still refused to meet his eyes. Once again, he faltered.

"Because I…," he began, fighting over what truths he should tell her and those he should not; his conflicting ideas wrestled around like bludgers within his stomach.

"Because you what?" Astoria quipped as her frustration steadily rose.

"Say something—before she leaves!" The bludgers still bounced around; he could think of nothing except the steady throb in his chest that he'd been feeling all night.

"Because I want you." Just as before, Draco hadn't been able to bring himself to use the word 'love'; the foul term had gagged itself within his throat, refusing to ever escape again.

"You want me? What am I, a thing on display for you?" Astoria breathed, her cheeks flushing red. "Merlin, Draco, why'd you even bother coming here tonight? To rub in what you told me before? I knew you were a jerk, but never did I think you were so cruel—"

"What I told you before wasn't true," Malfoy interrupted loudly, letting the statement finally escape. This did seem to have the right effect on Astoria as she could only stare incredulously at him, blood simmering mildly. Draco released her arm, taking a deep breath as he did so; it was time to let her know everything, whether he made a fool of himself or not.

"Well?" she prodded. "I'm listening."

"During school, you refused leave me alone," Draco began, but Astoria had already started to rebut. "I know you saved my life that one time—don't think I've forgotten," he quickly stated before she could reply. And it was true; nightmares of him struggling under dark water against his own executioner arms had long since haunted him.

"But you were getting too deep, Astoria," Draco continued in a lighter voice in hopes of softening her carved expression. It was to no avail; her stony face remained. Undeterred, he kept on."When I told you I didn't want you following me anymore, I meant it; it was for your own good. Horrible things sometimes happened up there. And I know you told me you wanted to be with me through it all, that you didn't care, but…but I didn't want you there. Seeing you made me think of what I was really doing…it still does." Astoria swayed on her feet a little, arms still crossed yet with a soft glow softening her expression. He paused; she still didn't say a word.

"That's part of why I wanted you to leave Hogwarts," Draco continued, uneasiness shivering his blood as he revealed so much of himself. "And what I told you before—about awful things happening—that was true. People were harmed that night, Astoria…some died."

Now she really began to look uncomfortable, her teeth nibbling her bottom lip uneasily. Once again Draco stopped, waiting tensely to see if she had any reply. Seconds passed; he opened his mouth to take a deep breath, but Astoria finally talked.

"Draco…what really happened up on the astronomy tower that night?"

Now it was his turn to feel uneasy. Along with visions of drowning, Malfoy had been subjected to dreams up on the lonely tower, a different person dying under his watch every time…more than once it had been Astoria. He took another deep breath; even with time, this anecdote would grow no easier to say.

"I arrived alone after letting the death eaters in. I disarmed Dumbledore and held him there, my wand pointed at him…I was instructed to kill him, that was my entire purpose, but I couldn't, Astoria…Snape killed him, not me." The relief that washed through her body was obvious; her arms uncrossed themselves, a hand shooting to her temples as she pressed worriedly.

"Then why—why did you, that night outside…?"

"As I said, you were stubborn, Astoria; leaving you was the only way I could make sure you left before the attack. I knew that if you still felt anything for me, not even your father would be able to make you leave…I had to for your own good."

"Why—why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Astoria breathed. "Do you have any clue how much...how much I've hated you?" Draco grit his teeth; he didn't like confessing his insecurities.

"Because I didn't think you'd believe me," he replied softly. "And I still don't believe we should be together, even now," he added truthfully. At this, Astoria completely froze, fingers hovering slightly above her temples.

"But I can't do it anymore, Astoria…I need you." As he said this, Malfoy felt as if a huge weight had lifted off his chest, a wave of warmth sweeping through his veins. He had finally told her everything; but had the damage already been done?

I should have know better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

"I…I just don't know what to say," Astoria let out after a couple moments silence, taking a few steps closer to him. The scent from his dress robes floated gingerly towards her, setting her nose on fire. "We were both wrong at times…," she amended softly, putting a fragile hand on the side of his robed arm. It was all that Draco could feel; the rest of him still seemed to be frozen, even after his liberating surge.

"But," Astoria said, taking a deep breath as she prepared herself for the words she had thought would never leave her mouth again. "I still love you." For the first time in weeks she looked up into his eyes—the following rush of blood that pumped through her veins almost knocked her from her feet. Slipping her arms around his neck, Astoria pushed her lips against his like she never had before, her soul reveling in freedom.

"When was the last time I told you I loved you?" Draco whispered to her, breaking away only a hairsbreadth from her face.

"A while," Astoria replied, coyly smiling as she laid her face in the crook of his neck and inhaled the cologne she loved so much.

"Really? How careless of me."

And together they stood there, looking up at the stars and whatever lay beyond for them.

When I wrote this, I really wanted to explore the different minds and emotions of Astoria and Draco (which is why it was so hard to translate into words!). I think this really shows the age difference between them, especially how Astoria is what she is--a fifteen year old girl who doesn't know what to do with her life. Hope you enjoyed it :)

Review? They make me happy (and give inspiration!)

-Jackie//xxArtemisxFowlxx