Chapter 5. Ash on the Caribbean
A loud rattling noise coursed through the air that violently roused Jack Sparrow from his drunken slumber. He rubbed his temple to try to alleviate the throbbing this strange noise was causing. He clamored to his feet and stumbled across the smoldering embers of his fire from the night before. He rubbed his eyes trying to force the cloudiness out of them. After squinting into the sunlight, he was able to make out the figure of a man in a tattered blue shirt wildly swinging a red object down in a group of palm trees. As he watched, the man stepped back and a large tree fell to the ground with a thundering crash.
"Hey!" Jack yelled as he began to run toward the man. "What are you doing to my trees?" As he approached, Ash stopped his saw and looked in the pirate's direction.
"What do you mean your trees?" Ash asked as he stared down the sprinting buccaneer.
"What I mean is these are mine and I cannot allow you to defile them in this fashion."
"Listen here pal." Ash replied. "If you want to die on this rock, that's your business, but I'm gettin' outa here." Jack opened his mouth to speak, but paused and a confused look took over his face.
"How?"
"I'm making a house of cards genius, it's a raft." Ash turned back to his work while Jack pondered a bit.
"Why didn't I think of that?" Jack muttered to himself.
After a couple hours of toiling in the hot sun, Ash was ready to set sail. He gathered up all of his belongings and strapped them down to the crude vessel.
"Jack!" Ash yelled down the beach. "We're ready to set sail on the S.S. Hurry Your Ass Up." Ash finished his task and boarded the craft. After coming to the conclusion that Jack knew nothing about the Necronomicon, Ash allowed him to continue living.
"Jack, this boat ain't gonna launch itself."
"Need I remind you that I know the only place there is on this whole forsaken island to get the necessary fluids for this little excursion?" Jack said as he walked up to the raft.
"Well good for you. I bet your momma's real proud that you were able to conjure up eighteen bottles of rum."
"A man has to have his priorities." Jack replied as he laid his tattered coat that he used to carry the rum on the boat.
"Jack... shut up and shove off." Jack Sparrow pushed with all his might and the two men began their journey. As they drifted away from their island, Jack began to dig into his old coat for a bottle.
"Shall we have a toast to a good journey?"
"Well I suppose the sooner I get drunk the sooner it will be easier to put up with you."
"That's the spirit." Jack said as he handed a bottle to Ash. "To a safe and pleasant journey." They raised their bottles and drank.
"Safe journey, huh?" Ash said before he raised his bottle for another swig. "We're in the middle of the ocean on a homemade raft."
"We're not in the middle of the ocean." Jack replied. "We are only a mere 200 miles away from the main land." Ash lowered his bottle and looked at his shipmate.
"Only?" Jack laughed and took another drink before he started to sing. "This is gonna be a long trip."
Hours later, the two castaways had absolutely no idea where they were, but nonetheless, they were still enjoying themselves.
"So you arrived at my island through a hole in the sky?"
"More or less." Ash replied after taking another sip. "This is only one stop on my inter dimensional travels."
"It's hard to believe that there are other worlds out there beyond our reach. But that begs the question, how did you get here?"
"A book."
"A book." Jack paused for a moment before he burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"Don't fall in and drown." Ash said as Jack tumbled over backwards and passed out on the hard trunks that made the raft. "Not a bad idea." Ash slumped backwards and went to sleep.
Ash was jarred from his sleep by a splash of water. He rolled over and looked up. What he saw caused him to immediately jump to his feet and kicked Jack in the side.
"Jack, it's a ship." Jack groaned as he rolled over. He also sprang to his feet at the sight of the ship.
"That's my ship. It's the Black Pearl." Jack said softly.
"Really. Then explain to me why it's up there and you're down here."
"It was stolen from me."
"Captain Jack Sparrow. It's nice to see you again." The two looked up and met eyes with one of the most eye catching women Ash had ever seen. She had fiery red hair that twirled in the wind. Ash also noticed that her breasts were poised to break a few of the buttons on her tight shirt. "And you brought a friend."
"I know what you are thinking Ash, don't. She is as deadly as she is beautiful."
"That's always how it goes."
"Get them aboard." Several hairy, dirty, muscle bound pirates lowered ropes and hoisted them up to the deck. When Ash and Jack were on board, the crew took their weapons. Ash couldn't help but notice that all of the crew's eyes were clouded white.
"Ruby Heart." Jack said as he put his hands together. "It's been a long time."
"Not long enough." the woman replied. "I was hoping that when I looked back upon you on that island, it was the last time."
"Mrs. Heart, you are devilishly wicked. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the last time our eyes met, were you not first mate?"
"I had no problem taking the ship from Barbosa. Once I killed him, and several crewmen, it was all a matter of time before the ocean trembled in my wake."
"That wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that sword your carrying does it?" Jack said confidently.
"Throw them in the brig." Ash and Jack were both grabbed and dragged to the lower decks and locked up while their weapons were taken to Ruby's cabin. Jack laid down on his cot and closed his eyes.
"She has the book." Ash said. "She has the whole crew under its influence."
"Not only that, but she also has the Sword of Neptune. Most people don't believe that it even exists."
"What does that have to do with it."
"That blade allows control of the dead taken by the sea."
"So every asshole that ever drowned in the ocean is under her control?"
"Not yet. She has to first acquire the Neptune's Blood. That is the difficult part. The vile that holds the bloods is at the bottom of the sea somewhere near port Royale. It has been said that it is concealed by a powerful magic."
"She's going to use the book to find it."
"Then we had better find a way out of this cell." Jack began to look around the cell for a weakness. Ash looked at his robotic hand. He then effortlessly reached forward and snapped the lock on their door.
"That will work." the two snuck out of their cell and back up to the deck. The sun had set and most of the deckhands were busying themselves with mindless tasks. Jack snuck up behind on of the possessed men and stole his sword before slitting his throat.
"It is usually beneath me to have to resort to such shady tactics." Jack said. "But one cannot argue with the results." he took the rest of the blades off of the dead man and gave them to Ash. Both of them were now armed with two blades, one long and one short.
"Now," said Jack. "I will make a distraction while you see to getting back our proper weapons." Jack leapt out onto the deck and began to strike at the deckhands. Before Ash even had time to move, Jack had killed three of the pirates and was heading for more. Ash made his way to the captain's quarters slashing at possessed pirates along the way. He lost his short blade inside the belly of a deckhand but continued slashing with his other one and swinging hard with his solid steel hand. Just as he reached out to grab the doorknob, the door swung open and Ash met the captain face-to-face.
"What's a beautiful gal like you doin' surrounding yourself with dirty pirates." Ash said as Ruby Heart emerged from her quarters and closed the door behind her.
"I like to be in control." she replied before she drew her sword. Ash spun around and slashed open another pirate.
"Darlin'," Ash said as he wiped blood off of his face. "How about you and me take a pleasure cruise on the Love Boat courtesy of Captain Ash."
"I believe your ship has sailed." Ruby said with a smile as she lashed out at Ash with her blade. Ash grabbed her blade with his robotic hand.
"I think it just dropped anchor." Ash and Ruby paused for a moment. Their silence broken by an unconscious pirate landing at their feet. Ruby's head turned toward a blood covered Jack Sparrow.
"This time I'll take care of you myself." Ruby swiftly punched Ash in the face and turned her attention to Jack. Ash staggered back into the arms of two deckhands.
"Sorry guys, but you're not my type." He said as he stabbed one in the neck and collapsed the others windpipe with a quick elbow to the throat. He looked toward Jack and Ruby. They both had sweat running down their faces as their blades met and sparks flew. Ruby blocked Jack's sword and yelled at the rest of her crew.
"Take care of the other one." Ash could have sworn that he heard a hint of remorse in her voice as she yelled out the order. The possessed pirates turned to Ash and began walking in his direction. Ash quickly ducked into Ruby's private study and locked the heavy door. He heard the crewmen begin to pound on the door in an attempt to bust it down.
"Come to papa." Ash said upon discovering the bundle that had been stolen from them. As he bent down to grab it, he caught a look at himself in the mirror. "I can't be lettin' a pretty girl like that see me in this old, tattered, S-Mart shirt. Maybe I have enough time to gussy up a bit." He surveyed the room and came upon a closet filled with long sleeved white shirts. He put it on and quickly looked in the mirror.
"This shirt's kinda puffy, but it'll have to do." Ash strapped on his saw and grabbed his gun. He pointed his weapon at the door at let loose several loud shots. A little blood trickled though the holes he had made and the pounding stopped. He fired up his saw, cut through the door and kicked it open. As he stepped over all of the dead bodies that littered the deck, Ruby performed a backflip to dodge an attack from Captain Sparrow and landed on the railing of the ship.
"Do you really think you can defeat me and this indestructible sword." She raised her weapon above her head when a shot rang out and made a skull rattling ding as the slug struck Ruby's blade. She barely managed to hang on to it so it didn't fall in the water.
"Not so fast darlin'." Ash said as he slung his gun over his shoulder. Ruby looked at Ash, then back to Jack Sparrow. She then grabbed a nearby rope and cut it with her sword. The heavy load attached to the other end pulled her rapidly toward the crows nest. Ash pointed his gun as she climbed inside and ducked down.
"Ash, shoot her." Jack said. Up on the crow's nest, Ruby reappeared with the Necronomicon. Ash squeezed the trigger. Ruby flinched a bit, looked down at Ash and then dove into the water with the Sword of Neptune and the Book of the Dead.
"Ash." Jack said. "Did you miss, or are you letting your heart aim for you?" Ash pointed his gun at Jack.
"I don't miss twice. Besides, she couldn't have gone far." Ash looked over the side of the boat.
"Ruby Heart is one mysterious lady."
"You can bet your three cornered hat she is." Ash replied as he looked into the empty sea. He lifted his eyes to the horizon and saw land.
"Port Royale." Jack said. "There's even more fun ahead."
A short while later, The Black Pearl had made it's way into the port. A radiant beam of white light caught there attention. They looked up on top of a seaside cliff and saw Ruby. She was holding the open Necronomicon above her head. The light pierced the dark water and turned black.
"She has found it." Jack said as the light retreated back into the book. "Ruby then picked up her sword and closed the book around the blade. At the instant she did that, the sea began to boil around them.
"Ash," Jack said softly. "I think that we should get off this ship." Ash turned around to see partially decayed corpses with cloudy white eyes haul themselves up onto the deck.
"Well," Ash said. "Let's get after it." With that, both men began shooting madly as they ran toward the edge of the boat. Ash hacked a few deadites in half so they could escape the craft. When they reached the dock, they saw an ever increasing number attacking the port. Ash blasted a deadite chasing a woman down the street while Jack stabbed an approaching one in the face.
"Ash, you go after Ruby. I have quit a few friends in this port." Jack took off to the pub were bullets were flying constantly, killing deadites all around. Ash departed for the top of the cliff. He hacked and slashed and blasted his way up the road to the top, leaving decaying body parts in his wake.
"Ruby. All this ruling the world stuff has to stop. It's not fitting for such a lovely lady."
"You have quiet the silver tongue. But I cannot allow you to interfere."
"I always did want to meet my end at the hands of a beautiful lady."
"Don't feel bad Ash. In a different time, I would have taken you for my own. But the world isn't big enough to share, even with a charming devil like yourself."
"Flattery will get you everywhere." Ruby lashed out in a heavy overhead strike with her sword that knocked Ash's saw to the ground. She swung again, but Ash was able to block it with his robotic hand. Down in the pub, Jack was enjoying a brew while blasting and slashing dead sailors with several of his old friends. Back up on the cliff, Ruby swiped her sword at Ash, who once again blocked it with his metal hand by grasping the blade and thrusting it into an approaching deadite. Ash took this opportunity to roll away and grab his saw. He strapped it on and fired it up before swinging it as his adversary. When the rotating chain of his two cycle weapon struck the indestructible blade of Captain Heart's, a massive explosion of golden sparks erupted from the impact point.
"What do you say we call it a draw?" Ash asked sarcastically.
"Not on your life." Ruby replied as she thrust her sword again. Her blade sliced right through Ash's puffy shirt and gave him a large gash on his right shoulder.
"Love hurts." Ruby said as Ash grabbed his arm. Ash dropped his saw as blood poured from the wound. Ruby approached and put her blade to his throat.
"It ends now." She said.
"One last thing lady," Ash said. "Why are the pretty one's always so dumb?" Ash knocked her blade away, quickly grabbed his gun and pointed it in Ruby's face. "Game's over sweetcakes." Ash grabbed the sword and thrust the tip of it through the Necronomicon. Immediately, all of the living dead stopped in their tracks and began to wander back to the sea.
"Ash!" Jack yelled from down in the port as he exited the pub, staggering a bit. "Hold tight and I'll bring you a drink." Jack began to run up to the top with two mugs of rum in his hands. Ruby backed up toward the edge of the cliff.
"You win Ash, but, this is were I say goodbye." She put her hands on Ash's face, leaned in and gave him a long kiss. When she broke away, she looked into Ash's eyes and backed off the edge. After a moment, Ash looked over the edge. He saw nothing.
"That Ruby is very mysterious." Jack said as he handed Ash a mug of rum.
"Thanks Jack. Bottoms up." Ash drank his rum before shaking Jack's hand and pulling the sword from the book. He offered it to Jack.
"Go ahead and keep it, there's no more magic in it. All that's left is it's durability. It will never break."
"Sweet." Ash put the sword in his belt and grabbed the book.
"Happy sailing Ash."
Ash looked around him as he got up off of the ground. He was surrounded by treesthat were completely bare. He looked down an old path that did not appear as though it had been traveled in a long time. He checked to make sure that all his weapons were in order before he began down the trail. He hadn't walked very far when he came upon the strangest trees he had ever seen. The seven trees sat in a circle, and every one of them had an odd shape on the front of it.
"It looks like a door." He said to himself as he studied the door shaped like a Jack-o'-lantern. He then turned to the tree with a door shaped like a Christmas tree. He drew his sword and carved Ash was here in the trunk before continuing down the path.