A/N: *internally screaming* I hope you like? XD

Atem

Carefully I creep open my bedroom door. It is still a little dark and not a sound can be heard from within. Ankha is at my legs, gently pawing at the door for me to open it further. She's not used to me sleeping in the lounge room so now that I'm sneaking into my bedroom, she's interested and eager, but has seemingly forgotten we have a guest.

I tip toe further in, being extremely mindful of my footing and how light I should be. I don't know how light or heavy a sleeper Yugi usually is but lately he seems to wake shortly I after I enter the lounge room.

With my phone gripped firmly I use the light from my home screen to guide me to the cupboard. The sun will creep in soon but for now, this will have to do. I wish I had gotten clothes out last night but I forgot entirely.

I'm aware of Ankha jumping onto the bed so I quietly shush her just in case she wakes Yugi. From the light of my phone I see her tail swish as she stands frozen at the corner of the bed, staring at the sleeping form she didn't expect.

I open my mouth to whisper to her to be careful but then she jumps off the bed and runs straight out. I'm relieved that Yugi doesn't move and shake my head before returning to my task.

I touch the handle and I freeze at the sound of a soft hum. Chewing my lip I remain frozen, and carefully, as if turning my head would wake him, I spy his sleeping form huddled under the blankets.

My heart is buzzing and I honestly feel compelled to run away like Ankha did because who would have thought that I would be sneaking into my own bedroom while the most talented and beautiful musician sleeps in my bed? Definitely not me.

Another moan and he moves sharply. He seems restless and I force my distraction away so I might focus on him. Carefully I sneak closer until I can see his hands clutching tightly at the sheets and his face mostly buried underneath.

He whimpers and his leg kicks, but he's still firmly asleep. He must be having a nightmare. Understandable given last night…

I turn my phone screen off and slowly climb onto the bed beside him. I'm painfully aware of his bandaged hand that he has resting beside his face, elevated by the pillow. I can't imagine how uncomfortable he must be with it right now but at least the codeine seems to have helped him get to sleep.

Softly I touch his shoulder. He makes a small sound but I've not woken him yet. If I can simply soothe him so he might sleep longer…

Gently I stroke his shoulder but he doesn't seem to be relaxing; so I carefully lay closer and move my hand to his hair. My fingers brush through his surprisingly soft locks and I hear him sigh, almost happily.

Good. Hush Yugi. Sleep.

I felt he was relaxing until a sharp, high pitched whimper escapes his lips and he turns his head away from me. He's tensed and I feel it's only gotten worse. I may have to wake him.

"Yugi." I whisper gently, half afraid to wake him. I want him to rest well…

"Mmmnh" He groans and his breathing has become sharper.

"Yugi." I repeat firmer and move my fingers through his hair with a little more presence.

He wakes now, sharply gasping and pushing away from me. His eyes are wide open but he quickly settles down, panting and rubbing his face free of the sleep and nightmare that haunted him. I'm relieved he's awake and it did not take much.

"Atem." He murmurs sleepily, melting my heart. One of my favourite sounds of his is the beautiful sound of morning in his voice.

"Hey." I whisper. He relaxes back into the position he was in when sleeping and I can't help but run my fingers through his hair again. He smiles and seems to nestle into it so I guess, with permission I am allowed this treat. "I'm sorry to wake you, but you seemed like you were having a bad dream."

"Mmhm." Is his soft response and then he takes in a long deep breath and stretches. "Yeah. It's fading now. Thank you." He says so quietly, so… intimately it encourages me to lay properly down beside him.

He peaks through sleepy eyes and smiles before he crawls closer, imposing himself upon me without a care -and I love this. His right hand - which I am very aware of - remains between us and his other hand slips under my arm and around my waist while his legs curl around mine and capture them in a tight hold. He buries his head under mine and I can feel his tiny breaths upon my collarbone and neck…

It's taking a great deal more control than I ever thought I'd need not to react to this. My cheeks are tingling with heat, my body is tensing with the desire to move even closer. I flex my fingers to resist the urge to hold him and stroke his body and touch him anywhere I can, and I am biting my lip so hard to contain how hard and fast my lungs and heart are working. Keep calm Atem. Keep calm.

"Atem." He says softly and I am panicking! I can't use my voice right now! He'll know!

"Mmhm!" Damn it! My voice is so damn high pitched. Why now am I failing at this? I've gotten used to him since we first met, why am I still such a dork!

He moves slowly away because of course he is and I'm dreading every second to follow. He must think I'm uncomfortable being this close when it's actually the exact opposite. Fuck!

I've no choice but to meet his gaze or make this worse by looking anywhere else and when I do - time, the universe, everything just stops.

His beautiful eyes are so soft and alluring, his cheeks are a bright rosey red that makes me want to touch them. And his lips… God his lips… so plump even as he nibbles shyly on the bottom one… how soft they must be.

My chest hurts so much with how hard my heart is beating. Surely he must be able to hear it. But as uncomfortable as it is I find myself not wanting it to stop. I could find relief in moving away from him and getting ready for work like I should be doing - but I really want to share this energy with him, having him steal my breath away and relieve this pressure through an expression of passion…

I want to kiss him.

He tilts his head ever so slightly and I notice I'm closer than I was. I feel my breath hitching and his own getting caught too. His eyes are staring down at my lips but I don't think that's fear I see or anxiety - I am hoping it's the same hunger I feel for him.

If he didn't want this, he'd have said. He'd have made it clear.

"M-may I…?" I whisper shyly, as a last ditch effort to make sure this is okay. If he says no, if he shakes his head, if he does nothing, I will run… but if -

"Yes."

Fuck.

The instant flood of relief that explodes within my body is so dizzying that I feel I might faint in his arms. His lips are softer than I imagined possible and so timid and shy that I don't know how to kiss him properly. My need for passion has me devouring him and feeding upon the startled moans he gifts me with and my hands are shaking as I grip at his body, at his clothes, at the sheet around him - whatever is in my hands.

I feel him push back a little bit and I fear at first I've come on too strong but a second later I realise it's to assert his own dominance and thus, the power struggle begins.

He grinds his hips against mine and his legs are impossibly tight around mine I fear he might break them, but God if I don't care when I feel his tongue lick at my lips.

I moan into his mouth and I am melting as his tongue opens my lips. I've never felt like this before. Not even with Tea. With her I was always in control and she was great, no question… but this? I feel so wanted and desired and God this is more exhilarating than I thought possible!

He needs to know how much I want him too though, so I push against him. Softly, so as not to hurt him and he lets me climb over him. I lay much of my weight into my hips which grinds against his and his leg curls around to keep me there. I push his hair from his face and he moans more as I push his tongue back into his mouth with my own.

My entire body rattles with pleasure and excitement and the friction causes us both to gasp. But that second without him is too long and quickly I lock our lips together once more.

His moans are the sweetest sounds I've ever heard but they sharply turn into a whimper all of a sudden. I stop immediately, terrified he regrets this but as I push up off him I see his pained expression.

His hand!

"I'm sorry!" I say quickly. I don't know what to do. I swear I didn't touch it. I didn't mean to hurt him.

His lips are pressed into a thin line as he tries his best to contain his pain. In the meantime I do my best not to move lest I hurt him more.

"Mmmh. No - it's not you." His voice is strained but then he breathes out slowly and smiles at me weakly. "I forgot it was hurt and tried to hold you."

… I feel relieved it wasn't me but still, poor thing. I should have known better though. He's hurt, I should be more aware of that.

"Still I … I should have been more careful." I say bashfully.

"It's okay." He whispers and once again I am lost in those sparkling eyes of his and how enchanting they are.

He chews his lip and it's so exciting to see. He looks playful and coy and I am so here for it.

"What are you thinking?" I ask him, grinning widely and loving how he takes a steadying breath.

He swallows and looks back up to my own eyes, his smile widening. "Um… I kind of… w-want to kiss you again. If that's okay."

I can't not chuckle at that and oblige him, but this time my movements are slower and more careful. I press my lips firmly against his and adore the swoon he feels. The way he leans into it, the way he breathes and moans and sighs into the kiss, the way his body arches up into mine and the way his legs tighten around me.

Good God I never knew I would enjoy this so much! I'm actually kissing him! Not just another man but Yugi! The fact he's a he barely matters to me. It's a surprise for sure but what is more important to me is that Yugi is kissing me! A man of such talent and such a stunning soul could be giving himself to me? Surely I am not worthy of this blessing.

His moans shift again and I recognise the difference is pain. So I slow our kisses to gentle pecks, kissing the corners of his lips gently because not kissing him feels terribly wrong. He laughs lightly and I start nuzzling his cheek until his laughter grows.

"Atem" He laughs, turning his head enough to make a grave mistake. Exposing his neck to me was a dangerous move, and one I am happy to exploit.

My nuzzling turns into cheeky little kisses along his jaw, down his neck all the way to his shoulder. His laughter mellows into the most tantalizing moans and high pitch whimpers that I just adore.

But I reign myself in when I feel an intense urge to bite him. I want to. Good lord I want to. But whatever territory we have stumbled into is brand new and I really don't want to push too far this early. His hand is hurt and… I regretfully have work…

So I grudgingly pull myself back up and kiss his lips once more. Just once. Deeply and slowly, but once.

"We should get you some meds." I say softly.

He nods quickly but we linger, neither one of us wanting to move. I guess he can't right now with me on top of him. But that means I have to move off him. Life is so hard.

"U-um." He laughs and I join him and eventually I move off him.

We are all shy glances and timid movements but not once do we lose contact. I hold his hand as we leave the bedroom and he's tightly gripping back, even staying close by my side even as we reach the kitchen.

I can't believe I just kissed him. M-made out with him even… what am I doing? Is this really okay?

I hold the sheet of pain meds but remember it has codeine in it. If I give him this he might go back to sleep soon… which is fine he needs it but -

"Um, this has codeine. It may put you back to sleep soon… if you like I can quickly get some normal pain killers before -"

"No it's okay." He says quickly. He moves his hair behind his ear and smiles sweetly. "Um… I don't want to trouble you more."

My heart can't handle how sweet he is. Where has he been all my life? "Yugi."

My thumb strokes his cheek warmly and I love how hot he feels and how bright those cheeks are burning. "You couldn't trouble me."

He laughs and steps closer, his good hand spreading over my chest. I play with his hair, twirling it around my fingers and letting the world around us fall away.

"Maybe we can grab something to eat for breakfast on our way out and some pain meds too?" He suggests coyly. I'm a little confused but that does sound nice. I suppose I won't be late at all if we leave now and come back. My shift doesn't start for another two hours…

"That sounds fine. Are you staying here today or …?"

"If you don't mind?" He poses it as a question, as if I would actually mind. I want him here. Hell I want to call work and tell them I'm sick just so I can stay here too.

"Of course I don't mind." I sigh happily and his smile is so gorgeous it makes my chest swell with excitement. "In fact I'm tempted to call in a sick day …"

"No." He laughs but that's not helping. "You can't do that. You just got back to working …"

"Mhm." I nod and pull him closer to me by his waist. His arms extend over my shoulders and my other hand strokes his messy hair back and around under his jaw to tilt his head up. I love the way he bites his lip; it's such a tease. "But I just started something here with you that I don't want to leave right now."

"Hmm. Well I'll still be here waiting and when you get home later maybe we can continue where we left off." He offers wisdom but all I feel right now is youth and a desire for rebellion. I want nothing else but to stay here with him so I might explore how else kissing him can make me feel. I want to drive him crazy for me, I want to touch and be touched. I honestly care for nothing else but him in my hands right now.

"If I take one day off we could continue right now." I say in a low, hungry voice. My lips ghost his own and my body is heating up at the feel of his weight shifting against me.

I hungrily hover my lips around his neck and his fingers grasp my shirt tightly as his body arches into mine. Were it not for that when he stepped back I would think he doesn't want this, but instead I walk him back the short few steps into the counter.

He gasps when I trap him before me and I hold his hips firmly in place against mine. "And tomorrow, and the day after. We could spend three whole days together, just like this." I whisper against his neck, daring to kiss a soft spot right under his jaw.

He shudders and moans and I feel his leg creep up the outer side of my thigh.

I do wonder if I'm pushing this too fast, but at the same time his reactions are delicious and he's not fighting me. If anything his reactions are encouraging. But how far can I test this before he says no? Will he? Or… is this up to me?

"Atem…" He breathes my name hotly, and I don't know if that's the sign I should be on the lookout for or if that's consent for more, but it has me hesitating. I want to kiss him … but should I back off?

I want him so badly. I want him to touch me and kiss me and blow my mind, and I want to bring such sweet moans forward and let him feel how amazing I can make him feel. It has been so long since I have felt wanted like this, so long since I've brought someone pleasure …

… But this is real. This isn't a harmless fantasy I can entertain. This is Yugi, injured in my kitchen, in my arms and at my mercy. I should be protecting him, not cornering him like this. Not when I don't know if this is real or if I'm falling victim to urges I should have more control over.

Regretfully I slow myself down, reign it in and give him a little bit more room to breathe. I need a minute to gather myself but I sense he's already breathing easier.

"What's wrong?" He asks softly and it's almost enough to crumble what resolve I've managed to gather. God this is hard.

"I shouldn't…" Is all I can manage. I hope he understands because honestly I don't. I don't know what I'm doing, I just know what I want; but I don't know if I should.

"Y-you can… you know."

Fuck he makes this hard. With permission like that how can I resist? But I really shouldn't. Kissing him again, what if it leads to more. Knowing me it will and then what? What if he regrets this? What if I do? What if this, whatever this is, ends up hurting us? All because I haven't been touched in fucking months.

"I shouldn't." I say, with a great deal more trouble than I'd like.

I intended to move off him and put some distance between us but all I managed was to rest my forehead against his, eyes closed tightly and focusing on resisting the knowledge that his lips are right there.

"I want you Yugi." I say, and hearing the words makes this feel so incredibly real that fear is taking a firmer hold than lust. "But I don't know what this is. What are we doing?"

I feel his leg slide back down off my thigh and his tight grip on my shirt loosens. I miss it terribly but I cannot string him along like this. I'm so confused, and I'm sure he is too. This is dangerous.

"Maybe, we should talk about this first? After we've had a chance to cool down." He says quietly and I can hear how hard this is for him too, but if anything that kind of makes it easier for me too knowing that he is also struggling with this.

He's right though. I can't make heads or tails of this feeling as hot and bothered as I am right now.

"We should get you that medicine for your hand… and I promised you something to eat." I say quietly, peaking my eyes open. I see his are closed and his breathing is as fast as mine is. But further down my cheeks burn even hotter upon seeing his pants… and the unmistakable bulge that can only mean…

This is too real.

I give him the briefest kiss on his cheek before pushing myself off him and turning to rub my face in private. I'm so hot right now it's uncomfortable. I need to get a grip of myself before I completely ruin this.

"I… I should go get dressed." He says quietly before quickly hurrying off.

I feel so anxious about this. I'm afraid I've already ruined it. What was I thinking in kissing him? I know he said I could but… God! What the fuck am I doing? I shouldn't have changed our relationship without knowing what the hell I am doing.

I mean, I'm sure he's more to me than a friend. He consumes my thoughts more often than he should and everything he does never goes unnoticed. I love his smile and the time I spend with him is so damn important… when I think about that then it makes sense that he means something to me - but what? He's not just some talented musician. He's not just a new friend. He's not just someone I can rely on to help me with puppies. He's not just a hyperfixation.

He's special. He's… he's so important.

But what?!

What do I want from this? For him to touch me? Or more? Do I want more? Then what does that mean? What does more mean? A relationship? Then… if that's the case then… what am I?

I feel sick… I need to breathe and think about this rationally. I've kissed him. No matter what happens now our relationship has changed. I can't figure this out on my own, but I can talk about this with him. But first, I need to make sure he's got food and some pain medication that won't put him to sleep. I should also really go to work. I'm sure spending the day away from him and in the office will help clear my head… right?

I just hope I haven't ruined this already. It would help to know what he wants. But… can I just ask? I mean… does he know? He's got the advantage of already being open and comfortable with his sexuality but me? I used to know who I was… I'm not so sure anymore. Not that I have an issue with being attracted to him but it would be nice to know exactly who I am and what I want.

I stew over this in circles until he's come back out and I can tell by his shy glances I've definitely ruined whatever this is. I am resolved to do my best in clearing this up but first I need to get him some medicine. The way he's nursing his hand is too obvious that he's in a lot of pain and discomfort.

Once I'm dressed and we've made sure the puppies are fine we head out. Not too far into the city though. I want to make sure I have enough time to drive him back home… if after this he still wants to go back to my place.

Picking up some medication is first and easy and then only a few doors down is a nice Cafe we can enjoy breakfast. Being so early in the morning we are few of the first customers. We order some coffee and Yugi buys a water to take his meds with, and I order us something hot to eat before we find a place to sit.

It's quiet and honestly it is lovely to enjoy breakfast outside for a change. Not many people are out this early and those that are are stuck in morning peak traffic.

"So… um… about this morning…" He starts nervously. I knew we wouldn't be avoiding this but I'm no closer to knowing exactly what to say than I was ten minutes ago.

"Yeah… um. I'm sorry if I pushed too many lines." I say quietly, keeping my head down and drawing small circles on the table with my finger.

"No, it's okay! I uhh… I actually… wanted you to." He says quickly.

Shyly I glance up at him to make sure I heard him right and he smiles coyly.

"I mean, I wanted us to. What I mean is that I liked it and I know it was sudden but if you want to then I wouldn't mind doing more of that."

Good. Good I think. It makes me unexpectedly happy to hear that but I'm also so afraid of what that means. "S-so um… what does this make us then?" I ask awkwardly. I clear my throat and sit straighter, glaring at my hands as if they'll take over for me. "You should know I've never had a boyfriend before. I don't even know if that's what you want or what, but whatever this is… I've never … you're the first man I've ever …"

I can't say it and I feel like a child because of it. This is too embarrassing.

"Kissed?" He asks this so easily and it floor's me how astoundingly brave he is. I shouldn't be surprised, he told me himself that he's interested in men. He's probably got loads of experience with this but me? A guy shouldn't be this different to a woman honestly so why is this so weird for me?!

"Yes." I say in quiet frustration. I must be several shades darker. I feel like I'm on fire and all I want is for the world to swallow me whole. "Please understand that until you I … I believed whole heartedly that I was straight… but I guess that's not true and look it's not a bad thing but I just… I thought I knew me, you know?"

I feel better a little having voiced that but also like those words have set me free a bit too. He smiles at me warmly and patiently and I feel half a fool for feeling like this is a big deal. Maybe it is, but also maybe it's not too? I have no idea.

He extends his left hand to the middle of the table and taps twice, clearly asking for my hands. I give them to him shyly and he gently strokes the back of my hand with his thumb, smiling kindly at them.

"Self discovery is hard. Believe me, I was so damn confused that I ruined the first two relationships I'd ever been in because of it. It takes a while sometimes to learn the ins and outs of yourself, and its not always an easy or clean process - but I want you to know that you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I won't push you into anything and I am here if you need. Better someone who's been through it to be in your court than struggling on your own." He says so confidently I can't help but feel reassured and more at ease.

"I'm not gay… or a homosexual I suppose I should say. In the least disrespectful way possible, I'm not gay." I don't even understand why I'm defending this so hard.

He sits back and holds his hands up before him, but he looks no less patient with me. "No one said that, though even then would that be so bad?"

…"No…" I say quietly. I need to calm down. "It's just… I don't know. This is hard. My thoughts are everywhere."

Thankfully a waitress comes by to deliver our breakfast which at least offers a happy distraction. Though as I begin to delve into mine I notice Yugi seems to struggle to work out the mechanics of his.

We've ordered pancakes however with one hand he's struggling to properly work out whether he should cut them or just fork them. We didn't exactly think about how he'd eat with one hand and I feel bad for him.

"Here." I say happily and slide my meal over with me as I move to sit beside him. He scoots over and while confused he lets me bring his meal closer so I can portion it for him.

"Mmm. Thank you. Sorry for this." He says shyly. I wink at him and bring a piece covered in syrup and cream for him to take. He's beet red and takes it into his mouth delicately. It makes my heart dance wildly. But while he's eating I can take a bite of my own and try my best to ignore that we are in public right now.

"So." He says when he's finished that bite. I start cutting his next for him. "You'd consider yourself an ally, right? Straight but supportive of the LGBT community?"

I bring the next piece up for him and he waits expectedly as he slowly takes it in his mouth. "Yes? But I guess that's not entirely the case now?" I suggest and he nods.

"Mmm. I understand. This must be really confusing for you."

I nod with my bite and for the next few bites we are quiet, but it's not uncomfortable. In fact I'm very grateful he's so patient with me.

"Well." He says again before I can give him his next bite. "Like I said, self discovery is scary and hard, but you aren't alone and change isn't always bad; learning new things about yourself can be so rewarding. If you'd like then I'd love to help you through this."

He takes the next bite then and I lean back, moving my next portion around with my fork. "It's not that I'm nervous or anything… I mean, when I think about it this is a no brainer. I feel something for you, I just don't know what that is. And then I think about me and it's just … disconcerting that I don't know. I've always known what I feel and felt safe trusting that - for the first time in my life I am more confused than ever."

"Yeah. I remember what that felt like." He laughs lightly. "But, it doesn't have to be so unnerving. And also like I said before, you don't have to do anything. We don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you want we can just be as we have been and -"

"No!" I say perhaps a little too quickly. He jumps but smiles at me all the same, so I busy myself with cutting his next piece. "I mean. I want to. I think. I want to explore this with you. I do. This morning… it was unexpected but I can't say I've not been curious and that I haven't wanted it before today… because truth be told you have been consuming my thoughts more often than what might be healthy."

He hums pleasantly with his next bite and it makes me chew my lip having admitted that. I continue nervously, my heart fluttering wildly in my chest. "I think… I have a lot to think about and figure out, but I don't want to do nothing."

He nods and eagerly takes his next bite. "Okay. Then in that case, let's take this slow and at your pace and just see where it takes us." He offers.

That makes sense… and I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. Seeing where it goes is a natural step for any relationship.

"I agree. Actually I really like that idea… but I have to ask. Does this mean that… I mean… is this a relationship? I mean it's some kind of one but, would that make us … boyfriends?"

The shiver and smile he tries to stifle is so damn adorable that it fills my heart with joy to see and I feel less nervous to use the label if it makes him this happy.

"Um, I mean - that is up to you. Your pace, remember? But um, I'd… I'd really like that. I mean… if you want to know how I feel - do you want to know how I feel?" He asks and I laugh happily.

"Of course I do."

"Good. Um then yeah, I really like that idea. I'm pretty into you."

God the way he says that makes my insides squirm excitedly. "Really?" I laugh.

"Yeah. Yes! I mean you're hot and handsome and funny and sweet. You listen to me, not just me but you really listen to my music. You're caring and supportive and you've got so much love to give. You're smart and just exactly my type… yeah I'm um… I'm pretty into you. And I won't lie I've been kinda waiting for you to kiss me. I mean there was that time at the beach and then last night… so um… yes, I'd like to be able to call you my boyfriend. But I don't want to push you. This is new for you and you've got a lot of feelings to sort through beyond just new relationship things. I'm happy to wait if you need."

I busy myself with feeding him his last piece and myself with the rest of mine. My cheeks are so hot and I cannot stop smiling. My heart is beating so rapidly it is almost dizzying. But those words… every one of them makes me so happy that I feel like I'm floating high above the earth.

"I'm sorry I took a while to make a move." I laugh finally and he laughs with me. "I don't want to make you wait, but I might need to ask you to be patient with me. I want to be your … your boyfriend. God!" I cannot stop smiling! "I might not be the best boyfriend but I will do my best, though it might take me some time to get the hang of things. I'm um … not as smart as you give me credit for."

He laughs again and happily brings his coffee over. "I might not be the best boyfriend either. Remember how I said I ruined two relationships at first? But yes, I'm patient and understanding and I'm here for you for anything you need at any time."

I sigh in relief, pushing my empty plate away. "Thank you."

"So…" He says and I feel his leg brush against mine. "About your suggestion to stay home with me today…"

I smile and lean against the backrest, turning slightly to face him and rest upon my hand while the other lightly strokes up the length of his arm.

"The offer is still there." I say coyly.

He chews his lip and it's so damn sexy.

"It's your job, but I feel that you should go today. It's one day and I can wait and I think it'll be good for you."

I nod in agreement, feeling less disappointed than I thought, but he's right. Our new relationship can wait for this afternoon and I'm sure the space will make it worth it. I'll come home tonight hopefully with a clearer understanding of what I'm doing and a boyfriend to greet me.

A boyfriend… fuck! I'm in a relationship now! Fuck yes! I can't believe how empowering that is! I can do this! No problem!