Chapter 18

I knew it was a stupid thing to say even before I finished the phrase. Ranger was looking at me with his mouth open and his eyes narrowed. "Babe," he started, "when have you ever known me to go anywhere without cuffs?" This was true. He would wear a gun and cuffs in the shower if he could.

Yes, I had foolishly just reminded Batman not to forget to take his handcuffs when he went to apprehend Joe. I was embarrassed. Ranger caught on, "Oh, shit, you forgot to take cuffs when you went to apprehend him in October, didn't you?" Now Ranger was bent over at the waist, clutching his stomach and laughing like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.

"Stop laughing," I whined, stomping my foot like a 4 year old. Pregnancy has given me a new weapon in my arsenal. I can turn on the tears at the blink of an eye. Ranger doesn't handle tears well. I have learned that very few people do. As a result, I'm still doing a few apprehensions even at this relatively late stage in my pregnancy. If anyone I'm trying to apprehend tries anything funny, I just sort of arch my back so that I look even more pregnant and pitiful and let a few tears rip and the next thing I know, I am leading the offender into the PD to collect a body receipt. Nobody likes to see a pitiful pregnant woman crying her eyes out, not even a felon. This new form of manipulation is powerful and I only hope I can keep it up after Muffin is born.

Ranger threw his arm around my shoulder in a brotherly way and walked me out to my car. He was still chuckling and trying to keep it together while savoring the image of me doing a take down without cuffs, even if it was a fake takedown. I hate to admit, but it was far from the first time I had gone into an apprehension unprepared.

We were scheduled to leave in the morning. Ranger was to go to Detroit to get Joe. I was supposed to go to Seattle, where Joe would meet me for four glorious days. Joe, while in Seattle, would go question the prisoner who supposedly left the Grizolli crime family for greener pastures with the Takata crime family. I was almost 7 months along now and Dr. Hands had told me that this would be my last trip. He wasn't too excited about my going, but there was no way I was going to miss seeing Joe. Muffin was fine. I was fine. The only thing missing to make everything perfect was Joe and he would be with me in a few short hours.

I was anxious to get away. I'd had a few more scary telephone calls from my mystery man who was trying to threaten and intimidate me into telling him where Joe was. I finally said, "Look, you jerk, (Click – turn on the tears and shaky voice) my husband abandoned me less than a month after our wedding. (sniffle, sob) I'm pregnant and alone. (sob) I'm scared and lonely. (sniffle) I don't need (sniffle) you adding stress on me. (sniffle, sob) Leave me alone!" I slammed down the receiver and took another bite of pizza. Oddly enough, I think it worked. It's been 10 days with no calls and no little bald guy running through my backyard – he'd only done that twice – the first night I saw him and once the next week. I'd gotten a better look at him the second time because I was in the kitchen when he did it, so I was on the same level with him. He was short and sort of pudgy with a round face distinguished by flabby jowls, like Bob has but less furry.

Speaking of furry, finally yesterday I took care of the biggest, furriest, dilemma that I have faced since Joe left town. About a month ago, it became apparent that I could no longer shave my legs. I just couldn't reach around Muffin and do it. When I tried, I tended to cut myself and it just wasn't worth it. I'd stopped shaving and just wore jeans, sweats and slacks all the time. No maternity dresses for Ms. Buffalo Legs here. Well, now I was going to see Joe. Hmmm. He had shaved my legs for me once before when I had sprained my wrist but the hair on them wasn't an inch long at that time! I had to do something before seeing him. I could have asked my sister or Mary Lou. I guess I could have asked one of Joe's sisters since we were getting so much closer. I would have to come up with a plausible excuse for them if I asked, however, since they couldn't know I was going to see Joe – although I thought they probably knew anyway. I considered the people who knew where he was. Dunphy was definitely out – he could take out my garbage for me and things like that, but there wasn't a chance I would ever ask him to help me with personal hygiene. I would never ask my mother to do something like that – she'd never let me forget it. I literally rolled on the floor laughing when I thought about asking 'Mom' Morelli. I could hear the conversation now, "I need your help. I intend to have a great deal of sweaty sex this weekend with your son and it is important to me that the hair on my legs and the hair on Joe's legs doesn't become entangled or create enough friction to cause a fire." Um, no, I don't think I'll be asking Joe's mother for help with this issue.

I remembered that before going to Jamaica I had gone to get a bikini wax. I called the salon, embarrassed, and asked if they could wax me from ankle to hip. They didn't seem to think this was an odd request and gave me an appointment. It wasn't the worst experience of my life. It wasn't one I would hope to do again, either.

I reviewed the notes I'd received from Joe in the last couple of weeks. 'Ask my mom to send some chocolate chip cookies with you when you come.' 'I miss waking up with you.' 'Grandma Bella's birthday is Tuesday. Take her white roses from me.' 'There's a rat that lives on our front stoop. His eyes remind me of Rex every time I see him.' 'As of today, I got rid of the donut. Dr. says I'm healing fine.' 'Hope to see more sono pictures of Muffin soon.' 'I sent the Grizolli's a thank you note for the furniture.' 'See you next week. I can't wait.' Again, they were each signed, 'I love you, Joe'.

I had the cookies packed in my carryon bag. Joe's mom was thrilled to make them for him and threw in a batch of Peanut Butter cookies, too. Joe only asked for the Chocolate Chip ones, so I ate the Peanut Butter ones myself. Peanut Butter, after all, is an excellent source of protein. I seriously considered making a batch of 'chocolate chip' cookies with Exlax and putting Terri's name on them, but that just seemed too juvenile. Although it would be damned funny.

The flight was uneventful. I caught a taxi to the Bed and Breakfast Joe had booked. It was out in the boondocks. I have to admit, I was a little nervous about staying at a B&B. I pictured it to be something like staying in my parent's house. I intended to keep Joe in the bed for a good part of our stay and I didn't want to have to worry about someone hearing us or coming to see why we didn't make it to breakfast downstairs.

I needn't have worried. Joe had apparently done his research. Becky, the B&B proprietor, led me down a lovely wooded path beyond the main house. The secluded cottage looked like something out of a fairy tale. When she opened the door, the aroma of cinnamon wafted out to greet me and beckon me inside. Becky showed me the proprietary telephone that would ring the main house if we needed anything. She also showed me the hot and cold boxes built into the wall where she would place breakfast every morning around 8a.m. She said the cold box was just a special refrigerator with two doors – one on the inside of the cottage and one that locked on the outside of the cottage. The hot box was like a warming oven of the same configuration and the food would stay good for around 2 hours in it.

She showed me a list of local eateries and places that would deliver to the cottage if we wished and told me that if we wanted anything special from the grocery store, to just let her know and she'd get it to us within an hour. "That's the best part about having teenagers. Free labor and errand running." She laughed.

The cinnamon scent had come from fresh cinnamon cookies that were on the little dining table and also from a small iron kettle of cinnamon sticks and other spices that was hanging just in front of the huge stone fireplace in the center of the cottage. She poked at the fire and got it really roaring. This was welcome and took the chill right out of me. The fireplace was two sided, so you could enjoy the fire from both the living area and the bedroom. This place seemed so charming and magical. It would be perfect.

Becky was friendly and open. She asked my due date and we chatted about children. Yes, this is our first. Yes, we are thrilled and a little apprehensive. No, we don't know if it is a boy or a girl, yet. Yes, we have names chosen. After a bit more small-talk, she said she needed to get going.

Joe arrived less than an hour later. I heard his boots crunching down the wooded path outside and had just stood up to greet him when he opened the door. His eyes just lit up the huge smile on his face when he saw me. He dropped his bags, kicked the door closed and quickly crossed the floor to envelop me in his arms. He just held me close and sort of breathed me in for a few moments. I closed my eyes and savored the sensation of being in his arms. He felt wonderful to me. When he loosened the embrace, he did it just enough to be able to seal his mouth over mine for a fantastic welcoming kiss. He then again just buried his face in my hair and I could feel his warm breath on my neck and shoulder.

When he finally spoke, it was only to whisper, "I love you." His voice was raspy and low. I returned the sentiment in a sigh and relaxed into his arms again. I don't know how long the embrace lasted. It seemed like forever and only a heartbeat at the same time. When we pulled away, Joe noticed, I guess for the first time, my tummy, which was considerably bigger than it had been. He put his hands on either side and was greeted by a pretty sound kick back from Muffin. "I hope Muffin knows who I am." He said, a little ruefully.

"He will. He gets to hear your voice everyday." I said. Joe furrowed his brow and I could tell he didn't understand. "You left me a message on the telephone the day you left town. I've almost worn out the answering machine playing it back over and over again. They say it's good for the baby to hear the Daddy's voice, so that's the only way I know to do it. Besides, I like hearing your voice, too." I was grinning from ear to ear.

Joe just leaned back in for another hug and a kiss.

"This is a great little cottage. I love it. How did you find it?" I asked.

Joe just sort of blinked at me and bit his lip. "Well, I came here a long time ago and knew it would be great for us." He turned away to get his bags from the door. I could tell that there was more to that statement, but I didn't want to dig. He could have just as easily said 'Terri and I came here a long time ago…' but he didn't. That's fine. I didn't want to think about her.

"Hey, how was the takedown? Did Ranger rub it in?" I was joking with Joe.

He started laughing, "Oh, it was okay. He got there on time and we did a little verbal sparring. We both whacked a punching bag I put up in the dining room a few times for good sound effects. He had just started to cuff me when Gilman strolled in. She hasn't been nearly as aggressive as she was before the shootout. I mean she really has backed off, which is a huge blessing. Most of the time she wears sweats and a ponytail so it really surprised me when she strolled out of the bedroom wearing some black leather hip boots, and one of those little black leather lace up tops and not a lot more. She had that blonde hair teased out about a foot around her head. She looked like a freakin' dominatrix or something. I didn't get it. I mean, really, she's been really good to get along with – and has pretty well left me alone, but then I realized that I hadn't told her that it wasn't you who was coming to get me. I swear, Cupcake, you bring out the absolute worst in her." I was thinking that she brings out the worst in me, too, when he continued. "Apparently Ranger saw something he liked. As soon as he saw her getup he sort of lost all interest in me and I practically had to do my own takedown." He was still grinning and chuckling. "They were writing really dirty suggestive comments on the board to each other before we even got out of the house. He used his cell phone on the way to the airport to cancel his return flight and book a hotel room. He dropped me off at the airport and turned right around and went back to get her. It was hilarious. As pent up as she's been he'll be really lucky if he gets out of there alive! I can seriously see an emergency room visit in his near future."

I had to remind myself I was not jealous. I was with Joe and that's who I wanted to be with. I liked flirting with Ranger but he's not my exclusive property. Ugh. I felt so mad at him. I was just so disappointed in him. Of all the people to get turned on by, Gilman? Yuck. Now I really wished I'd sent her those cookies. I had an evil grin on my face from thinking about that.

I turned my attention back to Joe. "Ranger isn't the only one dealing with a pent up woman, Joe. So," I said, jerking Joe's shirttail out of his jeans, "let's see this scar…" I gave him my best maneater grin and slowly backed toward the bedroom.

Joe's eyes darkened characteristically. "I'm anxious to see a few new landmarks on you as well, Cupcake." He responded enthusiastically and we left a trail of clothes from the front door to the bed. Joe had dropped to his knees and was nuzzling and kissing my belly while whispering indiscernible phrases.

He stood up and looked me full in the face, maybe for the first time since he'd been here. I realized how old he looked. His eyes were drawn and the smile lines around them seemed deep. I swear this job has aged him. He looked really tired, too. I felt guilty that it had been so easy for me to adapt to him being gone and so hard for Joe to know how much he was missing. I crawled on the bed and held my hand out to him. He snuggled in next to me and pressed his forehead to mine. "I've missed you," was all he said.

"I've missed you, too." I smiled.

From my vantage point, his ass hadn't been damaged in the least. It looked fine. Pretty damn good, in fact. He seemed to be thinking the same thing about me. He said, "I love how you look. It's amazing to me. You were always beautiful, but now, it's just so over the top. I can't believe you're here with me." He was holding my hand and looking at my body. He began trailing his fingertips lightly over my tummy and my breasts while kissing me. I was getting goosebumps from head to toe and was very happy for the wax job I had gotten.

I wanted it to be just Joe and I, but right now, that was pretty impossible. Muffin was tossing and turning and my belly was shifting shapes. You could see little elbows and knees sticking out periodically. I showed him what was going on by rolling on my back and pressing one of the little sharp appendages with my fingers, so that Muffin would shift again. Joe grinned and joined in our little game. There was a big, smooth spot at one point that would poke way out. "Is that Muffin's head?" He asked, touching it, with shining eyes.

I had to close my eyes and visualize how I thought the baby was laying. "No, I think that's Muffin's butt." I laughed. So did Joe. A few more minutes of playing and then Joe turned his attention back to me. He laced his fingers in my hair and started to kiss me passionately.

He seemed perfectly content to kiss me and look at me and stroke my body. Well, he has had Jenny to keep him company. I've been all alone. I needed more. Now. I reached down and took matters into my own hands, hoping he would get the hint. He did.

"Um, Cupcake, I never thought I'd relinquish the top this willingly, but I don't think it would be really comfortable for you any… other… way." He was just sort of assessing the situation. Again, usually the daddy gets to see the mommy's tummy develop day by day and adapting lovemaking styles is probably a little more natural and gradual that way, but this last 60 days of development has definitely changed things – a lot.

I grabbed his face and leaned in for a kiss, which he willingly returned. He took a deep breath and rolled onto his back, never taking his eyes off of me. It took a little bit of wrangling, on my part but I finally got settled onto him. Neither of us was quite sure how to do this. It was like making love with a basketball in between us. We both sort of snickered and I felt like I was kind of blushing. Kissing and whispering have always been a big part of our lovemaking and I couldn't figure out how to get anywhere near his face and his, um, nether region, simultaneously. He pulled his knees up behind my back and braced his feet on the bed so I could lean against his thighs. Oh, God, his thighs. And his chest, and his arms. Yum.

Not that I was turning this down, but I could tell we were going to have to be more creative the next time around. I can't say that it was a spectacular performance on either of our parts. It being our first time together in two months and the physical limitations from the pregnancy combined to reduce the act to a clumsy sort of athletic event rather than a true lovemaking experience. Oh, well, nobody gets to have fantastic sex EVERY time, do they? However, both of us got what we wanted from it, I think. I did. I'm pretty sure he did. Yeah, he did. I could tell.

He cuddled up to me from behind, and we both fell asleep. Again, I was secure in his arms. It was wonderful. I could feel his warm breath on my skin. His hands felt so good on my body. He was, afterall, magic.