MAGICAL GIRL LYRICAL CINDERELLA
CHAPTER 6

"As I look up at the sun, travelling the same old path across the sky, the rays burn my tired eyes… just wish I could finish covering this totally one-sided war and get back home. I'll never get used to be in the Southern Hemisphere with its backward season…"

"What are you doing, Hayate?" Nagi asked.

Hayate laughed. "Iie, nande mo nai," he replied, scratching the back of his head like a silly boy. "I thought I could try becoming the narrator once in a while, you see."

"Oh, you mean the guy in the A--" and the name was censored by missile alert before Nagi could finish it out. "X? Meh, I don't really like the game although I did buy it for collection. I prefer A--" and again the name was blurted by another missile alert, "Zero. It's better."

"Ah, you must be talking about the Belkan War, desho?" Hayate added and pointed skyward. "I like all the aces, but my favourite has to be Solo Wing Pixy. He's awesome." He realized some TSAB officers were staring at him strangely due the name, and he quickly apologized for the misunderstanding. "We kind of talked about game, not the actual war. Gomen, gomen."

"Iku yo, Hayate," Nagi said, "I just saw a shop selling Three-Sixty Box and some new games. Wonder if I can find copy of Fires of Liberation today."

"And so," the Onsokumaru-sounded narrator spoke as they headed to a video game corner, "our combat butler who happens to be an otaku for the game I cannot reveal its name for copyright reasons continues his adventure together with his Milady and fellow maid in the magical land of Mid-Childa. Who knows what kind of challenges they may come across?"

"I didn't remember having a crossover of sort," a bystander commented.

"Hush," his girlfriend reminded. "Let him be."

"And by the way, fellow readers…"

There was a pause, as the camera slowly zoomed out and revealed the entire TSAB complex from bird-eye's view. A piece of musical play that mysteriously sounded like the infamous Imperial March played in the background as the camera stopped in midair.

"This chapter is entirely done as a filler episode due to… unwanted circumstances that have fallen unto our heroine of the stage play. So without ado…"

"BEGUN, THE FILLER WAR HAS!"

-x-x-x-x-x-

Erio and Caro walked down the alley stretching across the TSAB square. They were given a day-off, as so did the rest of Riot Force 6 who was keeping audience busy with performance from guest musicians.

(Inside the hall, audience roared in approval and banged their head as Sol Badguy & Nekki Basara fought each other in a frantic guitar battle.

"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye!" Sol shouted into the microphone.

"So you think you can love me and leave me to die!" Basara took his turn to shout aloud.

"Oh baby! Can't do this to me baby!" they sang together, and audience followed their suit "Just gotta get out! Just gotta get right outta here!")

"So what are we going to do now?" Erio asked.

"I don't know," Caro replied.

"That's it," the narrator spoke. "Both of them are left in confusion because their mentor didn't tell them what exactly they must do when visiting a festival. Oh, like I want to help them anyway because it's not my job."

The young TSAB officers continued their aimless journey. Occasionally they would come across merchants who offered to sell merchandises with extravagant discounts. They would also find themselves meeting up with cosplayers who impersonated various characters from various magical girls' shows: Erio's reaction was completely obvious as he sent them to oblivion with Strada.

"Why are you doing that, Erio-kun?" Caro asked.

"They fail at life," Erio answered.

"That's right, Erio-kun," the narrator agreed. "Some of the cosplayers just fail at their life and made their attempt even suck. Not considering how horrible some of them look in the schoolgirl uniforms. Unlike someone I know…"

(Hayate sneezed. "Cold, Hayate-kun?" Maria asked.

"I don't know," Hayate replied.)

"Erio-kun! Caro-chan!"

They turned to the voice. It was Lindy! "How glad of our two younglings to meet someone they know in the middle of nowhere," the narrator spoke as Erio and Caro approached her who was attending Vivio, Lutecia, Imotou and Annabelle. "It's also good for readers to know that Lindy was, and is, still the bureau's admiral. Never underestimate a hot-looking mama just from her looks alone."

"Now, now, Mister Narrator," bashfully Lindy replied and waved her hand to the camera. "I'm not as attractive as people might think."

"WE DON'T REALLY MIND!" fan boys suddenly materialized in thin air and started roaring at Lindy in approval. "THIS IS LINDY HARAOUN! SHE IS MADE OF MILF AND HOTNESS!"

Imotou killed fan boys with Crossfire Shooter.

"Ara, Imotou-chan, what are you doing?" Lindy asked in amusement.

Imotou giggled. "Nothing! I just want to have fun!" unashamedly she answered.

"Mrs. Haraoun!" Erio exclaimed as he approached her.

"Just call me Lindy, ne?" Lindy suggested and winked.

"What are you doing here, Ma'am?" Caro asked.

Lindy laughed and introduced them to Imotou. "Erio-kun, Caro-chan, meet Imotou-chan. She's the daughter of my friend. I invited her here."

Caro waved to Imotou. "Hello, Imotou-chan."

"Domo," Erio uttered.

Imotou said nothing. She simply stared at them for a very long time. Erio and Caro waited for her reply, while Lutecia had eyes glued on the red-haired boy in interest. Vivio, on the other hand, was attracted to a collection of dolls sold at a booth the group was standing in front of.

Then she giggled.

"Erio-kun! Mitte! Mitte!" She activated Raising Heart, got dressed up in her Barrier Jacket and pointed the staff skyward. "Ikuyo, Raising Heart!"

--"Alright."--

Imotou giggled again. "Excel… SHOOTER!!"

Passers-by, visitors, photographers, male cosplayers, and TSAB officers bled their noses. Even Erio found his nose bleeding profusely, before Caro angrily (AND JEALOUSLY) swatted his head with paper fan.

"Erio-kun baaka," Caro growled.

"I didn't do anything!" Erio protested and was again bopped on the head. "Stop it! You're hurting me!"

Lutecia ignored Caro's wrath and approached the beaten Erio. She gave him a piece of handkerchief that belonged to her. "Here," she murmured. "Clean your nose. It looks messy."

"T… thanks," he replied and wiped off the blood. "You've been helpful."

Lutecia's reaction was neutral as usual. "…no problem."

Erio turned back to Caro and noticed the pink-haired girl fuming at him in annoyance. "Caro?"

There was a shadow of darkness surrounding the girl as she murmured his name in absolute fury. "Erio-KUN…"

Lindy laughed at the children's interaction and turned to Vivio, who was staring at a peculiar-looking doll at one of the booths. "Yes, dear?" she asked.

"Lindy-mama, is that a cat?" Vivio asked and pointed to the doll that mysteriously looked like a cat that wished it was a bird. The doll's cat-eyes mysteriously glowed and it stared down at Vivio. "Are? Why is that doll looking at me? Lindy-mama, I don't understand. Is the doll broken?"

"Ah-hah!"

People heard idiotically dramatic background music played. They saw dramatic-looking smokes emerging from nowhere, and a group of people made dramatic entrance. While everybody else took cover, and Erio withdrew Strada, Lutecia simply shook her head.

"Oh, please…"

"So what are we going to do?" Quattro asked Uno via intercom, even as the Numbers opened stances of their own.

"Our objective is to retrieve the Relic and avoid contact with TSAB officers," Uno replied. "Don't do stupid things and create havoc there, okay?"

Quattro scratched her cheek, laughing like a sissy girl. "Ettou… I don't think I can tell the rest of the girls, though," she said. Before Uno could ask what was going on, Tre already shouted a battle cry and pointed to the main hall. "Oh, whatever. Gomen, Uno!"

"TONIGHT, WE PARTY IN HELL!" Tre roared.

"That's right, fellow readers," the narrator said. "Today, the Numbers are supposed to retrieve a relic from the bureau's headquarters but for some unexplained reasons Tre, their concurrent leader, decides to have some fun by trashing the party. Has the girls not learned manners?"

Chaos ensued. The Numbers had forgotten their actual mission and proceeded to creating havocs around the area, spoiling the party as much as they cared without even bothering the people's reaction. Despite Erio's efforts, the Numbers were unstoppable and even he became their unfortunate victim.

"Oh, dear," Lindy sighed as she watched the chaotic disorder the Numbers created. "Getting them to trash somebody else's party… what has Jail gotten into this time?" Vivio was unscathed by the explosion and flying debris around her; her mind was so focused on the yellowish-orange cat doll she did not even realize the area had become a battlefield.

(Back at base, Jail Scaglietti was laughing menacingly as he observed the chaos and disorders the Numbers were inflicting. "JUST AS PLANNED!" he declared.)

The Numbers halted. Something was telling them not to continue wrecking havoc, and it was certainly not Uno's angry yell inside their communicators. They also felt a suppressing aura they thought belonged to Nanoha, and immediately deployed their arsenals. To their absolute dismay, the opponent was not someone they expected to face.

"Ara? Imotou-chan?" Lindy asked, not realizing that Imotou took a surprising decision to face the Numbers alone. "What is she going to do?"

"Well, don't worry about Imotou, Mrs. Lindy," the narrator assured. "I'm certain she has a trick she wants to show us. Na?"

"That's not what I'm worried," Lindy replied.

"Who is she?" Tre asked. "I thought I felt that woman's power from her, but it can't be."

"So moe!" Nove sighed and cupped her cheeks. "She's so moe I'm going to die…"

Cinque said nothing. She simply stared at Imotou, both jealously and adoringly.

"But why is she wearing her Barrier Jacket? And where did she get Raising Heart from?" Quattro asked.

"She looks weak," Tre chided and pounced at Imotou. "Let's see if she can dodge--" To her surprise, Imotou already dodged the tackle! "Ba-baaka na!"

Imotou giggled. She pointed Raising Heart and Tre and shouted: "SHOOT-O!" Tre was startled because what came out of the "mobile particle cannon" was not the magenta-coloured beam of death but a hundred of Shamisen! Tre was even horrified when all the cats pinned her down, meowing and purring as they rubbed themselves against her body.

"Hanaste! Hanaste!" Tre moaned in distress and squealed when one of the cats bit her earlobe. "Ah! Dame!" Poor Tre; strong as she looked, she was helpless against the dangerously fluffy horde of meowing fur-balls, and the people were not helping either as they gaped at the Number in excitement.

Even Erio blushed in stimulation when one of the Shamisens nuzzled its nose against Tre's bosom, before Caro angrily and JEALOUSLY gave him a Stone-Cold Stunner. Lutecia merely knelt next to the knocked-out Erio, staring at his blissful face in affection.

"Go for the neck, Shamisen!" fan boys rooted. Shamisen did, and Tre both giggled in pleasure and yelped in grief. Fan boys roared in approval and got knocked out due to haemorrhage.

"Tre! Hang on! I'll save you!" Nove jumped at Imotou, intending to attack her from behind but Imotou's reflex made her aim miss. "Shimatta!" She turned back at the Barrier Jacket-donning girl who already gave her an Egyptian Mau kitten.

"Haii, dozo," she offered.

"Ka… KAWAII!!!!" Nove gushed and took the innocent kitten, cuddling it comfortably in her arms. "It's so warm…"

"Nove! You aren't helping!" Tre shouted and moaned again when a Shamisen licked her lips. "Iyaa! Yamete!"

"ZOMG! Imotou is HAXX!" the rest of the people shouted. "Who the hell taught her?!"

Imotou left the cat-enamoured Numbers and approached the rest. Her facial expression was frighteningly cute, chillingly cheerful and alarmingly adorable they backed away from her in terror. Well, with the exception of Vivio who begged Lindy to buy the strange-looking cat doll.

Imotou giggled. "Oneechan! Mitte! Mitte!"

"What say you if we leave Imotou and her infamous request behind?" the narrator suggested, and all hell broke loose when Imotou fired super-charged Raising Heart to the Numbers. "I know you readers are very enthusiastic to see Imotou kicking other's butts, but right now we have our own Lady Nagi to pay attention."

The camera switched to follow Nagi, as the young heir of Sanzenin Family navigated through the myriads of people. She had been separated from Hayate and Maria while she was checking out the mobile phone booth, and now she was looking for public information counter for safety. She was agitated; without the protection of her combat butler she was vulnerable, and without Hayate to look after her she was nothing more than a rich girl getting lost.

"Ittai!"

She fell onto the pavement. So did the person she bumped into. Both rubbed their hurt nose, mumbling in their own tongue before they looked at each other. "You are…" Nagi mumbled. "A cosplayer?"

"Who the hell you're calling a cosplayer?" Vita roared.

"Well, you looked like a cosplayer," Nagi added. "And you're a Goth, too."

Vita snapped. "Listen, you," she murmured and pointed Graf Eisen to Nagi's face. "What makes you think this is a cosplay dress? It's a uniform! A UNIFORM!"

"Then what kind of your job is?" Nagi asked. "Waitress for cosplay café?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Vita demanded. "I'm Wolkenritter Vita. VITA!"

The answer simply unimpressed Nagi. "What's up with that car's name? It sounds horrible."

"I'm not a car, kuso!" Vita retorted.

"Well, too bad for Vita, anyway," the narrator said. "Nagi doesn't know that in Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha universe, most -- if not all -- characters are named based on cars."

"I didn't even ask for your opinion, bastard!" Vita yelled at the narrator.

"THERE SHE IS!"

Nagi and Vita turned around. They saw what resembled a group of people impersonating the Sword that Cleaves Demon approaching them, pushing people away from their path as they marched onward.

"Vita!" they roared in anger. "You have tainted the pride and glory of Gao-(CENSORED)! Prepare to be obliterated!"

"What are they up to?" Vita questioned and was startled when Nagi stepped forward. "Hey! What are you doing?"

"And who you pigtailed blonde might be?" the cosplayers mocked.

Nagi controlled her temper as a response and pointed to their face. "I am Sanzenin Nagi," she spoke, "and I can already see that you are a bunch of epic fail!" The cosplayers received severe beatings from the comment, tormented as if Spears of Longinus were pierced through their body. "What do you think you're doing, embarrassing yourself by cosplaying as the great Zen-(CENSORED)?" Again, the cosplayers were rained by multiple copies of Advent Children version of Omnislash.

"Sonna!" they replied. "We've spent so much time and money for these clothes and accessories, and you call all of them fail? How could you!"

"That is correct," Nagi replied and folded her arms in victory. "You don't have the kind of attitude needed to carry that Zan-(CENSORED) around. Go home. Cry in your mothers' arms. Drink some milk." One of them stood up, lowered the fake giant sword he was carrying and pointed to Nagi. "Now what?"

"You have the guts to face the wrath of Dai-(CENSORED), little girl," the cosplayer cackled. "Accept your destiny and be sent to the underworld!" He pounced at Nagi, but Vita already stepped forward and blocked the blow head-on. "Ki… kisama!"

"There's no way you'd ruin this open day!" Vita shouted and sent the cosplayer back to his comrades. "I have to agree with her that you people fail at life. Hayate will be upset to see your horrendous attempt."

"Ha… Hayate?" Nagi gasped.

"Aw, whatever," Vita shrugged and loaded Graf Eisen with cartridge. "I'll just pawn you good on her behalf. Graf Eisen!"

--"Ja! Explosion!"--

"Chotto." Vita turned around to see Nagi glowering at her in rage. "Excuse me for asking, but which Hayate you're talking of?"

"Shiranai, ka?" Vita replied. "She's the commander of Lost Property Riot Force 6, Yagami Hayate. She's my mast-- friend."

Nagi sighed in relief. "Thank god. I thought you were talking about Hayate."

Vita's eyebrow batted upward. "Hayate? There's another Hayate you know?"

Nagi nodded. "He's my butler, Ayasa--"

"KITTA!!!!"

The amok cosplayers charged at the two girls en masse. Their ferocity was comparable to the infamous Berserkers, and their wrath was enough to make Nagi and Vita fall to their knees and hug each other in absolute terror.

"Well, as it has happened in practically each anime episode and manga chapter, there's only one thing they can do whenever trouble comes," the narrator spoke. "And that thing would be…"

"HAYATE!!!!!!"

Hayate glanced left. "Ojousama is in danger!" he whispered and rushed at the source of the cry, leaving Maria behind.

So did Hayate. "Was that Vita?" she asked and teleported to the area, abandoning Nanoha and Fate in hurry.

They arrived in seconds. They saw the cosplayers threatening Nagi and Vita with their weapons. They charged.

"INA-(censored) KICK!!!"

"PLASMA LANCER!!!"

The two attacks connected, knocked the cosplayers away and sent them flying high in the sky. The two Hayate did not even stop! They began charging up and charged at the super robot otakus.

"KA-(censored)-HA!!!"

"RAGNAROK BREAKER!!!"

The attacks connected again, and the otakus were nothing more than piles of dust as the particle beams exploded in the air.

The two Hayates landed. They faced each other, and suddenly tension rose between them. "Is he/she an enemy?" both of them pondered.

"So two of the world's most renowned Hayates," the narrator spoke. "Combat butler of the Sanzenin Family, Ayasaki Hayate." Camera zoomed onto his face. "SSS-ranked Belkan mage from Lost Property Riot Force 6, Yagami Hayate." Camera switched focus and zoomed onto her face. "Fate has decided that these two people must meet each other whatever the reasons they might be, and I CAN GUARANTEE their introduction is not going to be good-looking."

"Hayate!" Nagi gasped in relief and caught him in a tight embrace. "You saved me! Yokatta…"

Vita did the same as she pounced at Hayate. "Hayate! Hayate!" she cried and clung onto her.

-x-x-x-x-x-

"That, fellow readers, conclude our Filler War episode. With the chaotic duel between Imotou and the Numbers--"

Camera showed the said battle that was unfairly swinging to Imotou's favour as she caused much psychological, if not physical and mental, damages to the properties.

"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!" a bystander shouted and died of cuteness overload.

"--as well as the destined encounter between our two Hayates."

Hayate and Hayate were struck in shock. "YOU'RE HAYATE?!?" both of them pointed at one another.

"With that done, I leave the rest of this chapter to your wildest imagination, and that concludes today's presentation. Stay tuned, as we bring to you the actual insanity that is…"

MAGICAL GIRL LYRICAL CINDERELLA

A Lost Property Riot Force 6 presentation and it's mean to be a parody. Don't blame us; we just do whatever we're told.

"I can't help it," Lutecia commented as she took a bite of chocolate cake, ignoring Imotou and her charming ownage behind. "Is the Author running of idea? Throwing characters from other series into this production when there's no serious need to. What will the reviews think of?"

"Well, this is the Filler War, right?" the narrator suggested. "Or is it perhaps you try to act normal while the rest of your friends are caught in madness?"

Lutecia sighed. "…maybe you're right."

-x-x-x-x-x-

// OMAKE //

Hinagiku blinked in confusion. So did Isumi, who has found herself lost again. The two girls had no ideas regarding their involvement in the bureau's open day, and they were more perplexed when they realized they were standing in front of a giant recruitment poster.

"I don't understand what this poster is about," Hinagiku uttered and read the caption that read "I WANT YOU FOR SAINT CHURCH". "Though it does look interesting when someone threw in a poster girl. Quite an innovative propaganda, I think."

"What must we do?" Isumi asked in concern.

"I don't know, but let's find out who the poster girl is," Hinagiku suggested and walked down the road that led to the cathedral.

"Ah! Matte!"

They arrived at the said place. More and more posters could be seen along the way, and the sight of people signing in at the registration counter became obvious. It was clear to the girls that the posters meant serious business but it was not the recruitment they were interested in.

It was the poster girl.

"Look."

Hinagiku looked at the direction Isumi was pointing. It was a man and a woman, and while she identified the woman as the 'poster girl' she had no idea about the man who was dressed up as Leonidas. "And he looks upset, too," she commented.

"It's Prince Yuuno!" one of the recruits shouted.

"Holy Batmobile! It is Prince Yuuno!" another recruit added.

"And he's accompanying Her Majesty Carim, on top of that!" yet another recruit bolstered.

"All hail Prince Yuuno! All hail Mid-Childa!" they yelled and bowed in respect.

Yuuno shook his head. "Carim-san, this is why I don't like being an instant celebrity," he sighed and approached the pumped up recruits. He later gave his usual fiery speeches that sent the recruits' morale skyward, shouting "for glory!" to answer their shouts.

"I can't believe the effect of that movie is still strong," Hinagiku uttered. "Isn't 300 meme a supposed to be the thing of the past now?"

"Oh, hello." Hinagiku and Isumi looked up as Carim greeted them. "I haven't seen you anywhere. Are you visiting the Saint Church for the recruitment registration?"

"Oh, no! We're just kind of visiting," Hinagiku replied and elbowed Isumi. "Right, Isumi-san?"

"H-haii…" Isumi spoke and bowed to Carim. "Pleased to meet you, Ma'am. I'm the heir of the Saginomiya Family, Isumi desu."

"Oh, my, you're so cute in the formality," Carim giggled. "And you are?"

Hinagiku quickly bowed to the High Priestess. "President of the Hakuo Academy's Student Council for the third term, Katsura Hinagiku."

Carim bowed to them in return. "I am Carim Garcia, leader of the Saint Church. I welcome you, Miss Saginomiya, Miss Katsura."

"Hina… is fine with me," Hinagiku reminded.

"Please call me Isumi," Isumi nodded.

"Well, then, would you like to have a tour? I will be honoured to be your personal guide," Carim offered. "I will do my best to answer every question you ask."

"Haii. Yorokonde," Hinagiku said.

"Yoroshiku onegaishimasu," Isumi added.

// to be continued //