MAGICAL GIRL LYRICAL CINDERELLA
CHARTER 09
"Previously, in Magical Girl Lyrical Cinderella…"
Flashbacks showed both audience and readers to series of events that led to the eventual date of Cinderella Haraoun and Prince Yuuno of Mid-Childa. Fan boys roared, amazingly in approval to see the perfectly unmatched couple dancing and sharing their inner thoughts before proceeding to kiss.
Well, kind of.
"But Prince Yuuno doesn't know the actual truth," Hayate the Combat Butler spoke.
Nagi Sanzenin nodded. "It will be a disastrous catastrophe if he ever learns the truth. Whoever here doesn't remember Bridget?"
"Ah, the sexually confused boy who plays with yo-yo and carries killer teddy bear from Guilty Gear XX Slash?" Hayate asked.
(Somewhere, onboard the Mayship, Bridget sneezed.)
"Dude, like, he's the biggest trap ever," one audience added. "Well, before Watarase Jun came along."
(Somewhere, at Mizukosaka Academy, Watarase Jun sneezed while he was performing the Patriot Missile Kick onto Hachi.)
"It doesn't get any better or worse than this. Remember, audience, Cinderella left behind her glass slippers and eyeglasses."
"Did the narrator just say eyeglasses?" another audience asked. The answer was another flashback that showed Cinderella running out of the hall, leaving the said items to be picked up by Prince Yuuno.
"At least tsundere Cinderella looks cute with the eyeglasses," a fan girl commented before she sighed. "I wish I were Cinderella instead… I want to be with Yuuno-sama…"
"What do you think you're doing?!"
Everybody turned to the source of the voice and saw a mafia cornered by the Mid-Childan Elite Guards, all of whom were standing next to the edge of a makeshift well. Pointing a spear to the appalled mafia was none other than Prince Yuuno.
"You think you can make me kneel into submission with the incapacitated heads of my neighbouring kings? You're a disgrace to the humanity," Prince Yuuno snarled and yelled before the mafia could speak. "You threaten to enslave my queen and orphan all the children. Maybe you should choose your words carefully."
"Blasphemy!" the mafia hissed. "This is madness!"
"Madness?" Prince Yuuno glanced to his Elite Guards, then to the Spartan cosplayers. They nodded, as so did the Sanzenin Households who nodded in approval. Prince Yuuno turned back to the grief-stricken mafia.
He grinned.
"This! Is! PARTY!!!!!"
Prince Yuuno kicked the mafia into the well. Everybody cheered.
"Meanwhile…"
Cinderella -ahem, Chrono kicked the door of the Haraoun Family's makeshift house and rushed into his underground room. He tore off the schoolgirl attire as to reveal his maid uniform and punched the wall many times. "That was the most embarrassing thing I have ever experienced!!" he bellowed and landed an uppercut onto the structure.
"GAH! I need to sleep." He tossed himself onto the bed, closed his eyes and murmured in low voice. "I just need to sleep…"
Chrono fell asleep. It only took a while before the Special Effects Department did what they were best at: tossing flowers and blowing bubbles to the stage. While it was a routine practice, everybody in the hall was smitten by the strangely wrong and right results the department was performing; to add insult to the injury someone was singing a lullaby and made male audience vomited at their fantasy of sleeping Cinderella.
"Our Cinderella is very tired she needs to sleep--"
And fan boys banged their heads onto the chair, desperately getting rid of their perverse thoughts on Cinderella.
"Just what's wrong with you people?"
"As if Prince Yuuno kissing The Cross-Dresser Haraoun wasn't enough to torture us," they muttered (vein popped on Chrono's forehead when he heard the comment), "now you and your department are forcing us to have wrong thinking of him as a Sleeping Beauty!"
"Hey, it's not our fault."
"But! But!"
"Oh, just shut up and enjoy the show."
The nap took a little more than five minutes, and Chrono was revitalized. "That was a good sleep…" he murmured and outstretched his arms. (Again, the SFX Department made fan boys burned their eyes by their crafty handiworks; girls, on the other hands, sighed at the beautiful sight of Cinderella Haraoun and fainted.)
"I think there is a wrong development going on here," Hayate spoke and glanced at the dead people.
"Sou, sou," Nagi answered.
"Oh, it's morning already?" Chrono said and glanced to the windows. "Morning… so beautiful…" He approached the window pane that seemed to be out of place and opened it. There was a moment of stillness as he rubbed his eyes and yawned as wide as he could. "I wonder how the girls are doing…" he murmured.
Courtesy of the hall's wide screen, everybody watched in utmost surprise as the three Aces continued dancing to the upbeat music of the 70's, not knowing that the party had gone all the way to the morning. The three Aces seemed to have been intoxicated, and all of them were dancing without realizing they were being ogled.
"Holy crap!!! IT'S GINGA-NEECHAMA!!!!"
"Where?? WHERE????"
One of the surviving fan boys pointed to the screen, and there she was: Ginga Nakajima, Time-Space Administrative Bureau's officer, everybody's apple in the eye, shaking her body to the music. Everybody (even the dead men) became over-energized and hooted for Ginga, shouting her name in full support and throwing their fists into the air. Truly, the power of fan boy-ism.
Or so it was.
"Oh, so the girls are partying?" Chrono murmured. "That means I won't have anything else to do for today." He had a thought or twos on Yuuno, and suddenly shivered in embarrassment when he remembered the alleged prince of Mid-Childa's attempt to give him a kiss. "Good lord. What has humanity come to? Father would roll in his grave if he ever knows this…"
(At Heaven's Cabaret Club, the late Clyde Haraoun was having a warm conversation with one of the bunny-suit waitresses (Kamina was seen surrounded by nekomimi waitresses) when he suddenly sneezed. "Cold, Clyde-sama?" the waitress asked.
"Ah, it must be my boy," he murmured and rubbed his itchy nose.)
The door was knocked. "Now who might that be?" Chrono wondered and approached the door. When he opened it, everybody was in treat for…
"Signum?"
"What?"
Chrono pointed to the tight attire she was donning. "What is this for?"
"Ah, this?" Signum glanced back and forth between Chrono and the all-green skin-tight suit she was wearing. "Don't ask me. Meister requested me to dress up as a certain Loveless person…"
She glared at Chrono later on. "And stop giving me those looks."
Chrono shook his head. "I didn't mean to- look at you in that way!" he replied.
"Pervert," Signum replied.
"No I'm not!" Chrono retorted.
"I see what you did there, Admiral Haraoun," Signum reminded.
By now, fan boys and male audience started ogling Signum Loveless. All of them murmured "Jiiiiiiiiiiii………………" while sticking their eyes on Signum's unrealistically loaded racks. Signum did not realize it yet, but when some of the boys whispered "those are surely squishy in our hands," she made them eat the dust by firing an instant Sturm Falke at them.
"Well, I didn't know Signum looks hot in the suit," an audience spoke.
"True, true," his friend agreed.
Signum Loveless kills audiences with Phantom Phoenix-lookalike.
"See?" the charred audience spoke in broken voice, before Signum sent him to smithereens for good with a genuine Storm Falcon.
"You surely know how to respond, don't you?" Chrono asked.
Signum ignored it and handed him the invitation letter. "The royal family wishes to see you and your family present," she spoke. "Please come to the castle as soon as possible."
Chrono took the letter. He read its contents and shook his head. "Oh, dear…"
"It seems our Cinderella Haraoun has received the most shocking news of her life," Ten No Koe spoke. "Guess what? She's invited to the palace, and all her blows are going to be blown up!"
"You don't have to be that cruel, Ten No Koe-san."
"And yet the world is always cruel," Ten No Koe answered. "Look at Cinderella. She's poor, she's a victim of domestic abuse, she doesn't have anyone to befriend to, and yet she caught the prince's eyes! What kind of stage play is this when we don't have a shocking finale? Right?"
"I'll kill you with Durandal…" Chrono murmured.
Fan boys continued ogling Signum Loveless, occasionally wiping drools off their mouth at the sight of the Wolkenritter's voluptuous figure. The pissed-off Signum called forth Sturm Falke, killed them with a well-aimed shot and left to the backstage, disgusted.
After a quick stage shuffle and switch, the set changed place to the royal courtyard. Here, people could see Ginga Nakajima in all her flamboyances as the Royal Announcer, and they made her lost concentration by cheering and shouting her names in unison.
"Stop shouting out my name!" Ginga moaned.
"But we can't!" fan boys replied. "We love you, Ginga-nee! Please say you love us, too!"
SUBAIGAR kills fan boys with Goldion Crusher.
"Ogle my oneesama and you shall face the wrath of the true power of COURAGE!" Subaru bellowed.
"Thanks, Subaru-chan." Ginga coughed a couple of times. "Citizens of Mid-Childa," she spoke to the microphone, "it is hereby announced that our beloved Prince Yuuno--"
"YUUNODAAAAS!!!" Spartan cosplayers roared.
"--is going to request for all girls and women to come to the palace, for he is looking for the worthy owner of this glass slipper and these eyeglasses," Ginga spoke and showed them the said items. "Once the owner of these items are found and identified, Prince Yuuno will immediately propose the lucky person to marry him and--"
Fan boys and male audiences cringed and collapsed onto the floor, reduced into liquid matters. Ginga gazed at the unwanted sight, had the look of confusion on her face and asked Shamal: "did I just say something?"
Shamal giggled in submission. "Sa…"
It took one hour for all female participants and audience in the hall to gather into one line, and it took one hour for them to come to the stage and try putting on the items. Yuuno, who was supervising the search, was disappointed by the result of the search. "None of the ladies fit the description," he sighed.
"Even the eyeglasses don't match their portrait," Arf commented.
"What must we do, Father, Mother?" Yuuno asked.
Zafira shook his head. "Give it up, my son. There's no chance you will find the girl of your dream," he spoke.
"But I must!" Yuuno objected. "The great Zen-(CENSORED) has love interest and Rat-(CENSORED) was once married. Even the hot-blooded fighters of justice like Domon and Gai have girlfriends."
"YUUNODAS HAS SPOKEN!!!" Spartan cosplayers agreed and bowed to Prince Yuuno.
"Then how about our last guests?"
Yuuno looked over Arf's shoulder. There, he could see Nanoha, Fate and Hayate and the bedazzled Isumi standing next to Signum Loveless who had arrived with 'Cinderella'. "Of course! I have not forgotten them!" he uttered.
"Do we have to do it as well?" Nanoha asked.
"Just do what the scripts say," Hayate advised.
Fate said nothing. She simply glanced to Chrono, and chuckled deviously as if she had won the battle even before taking the fight.
"What am I doing here?" the clueless Isumi asked.
Yuuno gestured to his Elite Guards to invite them to the stage. The guests walked on, approached the royal prince and waited for his speech. "Ladies, you may have known the news that my special guest had left behind her belongings," Prince Yuuno spoke and showed them the slipper and the eyeglasses. "As the royal prince, I would like each and every one of you to put them on."
Nanoha, Fate and Hayate stared at Yuuno. "You're taking this way too seriously, Yuuno-kun," they murmured.
First in the list was Isumi. Not knowing what she was doing, she approached the chair and sat on it, while one of the Elite Guards took off her left shoe and put the slipper. "It doesn't fit, Your Highness," the Elite Guard said.
The other Elite put on the eyeglasses. "Your Highness, the eyeglasses don't fit, but I do admit that Miss Isumi looks damn moe in eyeglasses," he commented.
Isumi blushed at the comment. Isumi fan boys turned green and prepared their pitchforks and hoes. "What the hell does he think he's doing??????" they mumbled.
Then it was Nanoha. Pompously she sat on the chair, glanced at the Elite Guard and said: "hurry up. I cannot wait." The Elite obliged, and as he approached to put the slipper into her feet Nanoha did what people never expected:
Slowly, but surely, she pulled her skirt upward, up to the point she was exposing her bare thigh to the already smitten audience (they murmured: "Just a bit higher… just a bit higher…" before SUBAIGAR did her tricks again by sending them to the underworld with True Heaven and Hell). Even the Elite Guard was pawned and got knocked out due to nose bleeding, leaving the task to his team-mate.
The other Elite Guard shook his head in disappointment after he completed the task. "The shoe doesn't fit." He asked Nanoha to put on the eyeglasses, and the reaction he did was the same. "Even the eyeglasses don't match."
Nanoha gave back the eyeglasses and returned to Fate. "Show them what you're made of," hotly she whispered into her ears, causing her to blush.
Fate was next. She did not hesitate to take off her robe, revealing the all-new Sonic Form of her Barrier Jacket and making all boys to drool and all men to howl. She wasted no time and took the eyeglasses from the Elite Guard's hand and put it on. "How do I look?" she asked.
"FEITO-CHAN SAIKKO DESU!!!!!!" audience roared.
She glanced at the horror-stricken Chrono. "I'll get you once we're done with this stage play, Oniichan," she whispered and returned the glasses.
Finally it was Hayate. Diligently she approached Yuuno and took the shoe in her hand. "Everyone, what must I do with this shoe?" she asked the audience.
"PUT IT ON YOUR FEET!" they replied.
"But what if the shoe doesn't fit at all?" she added.
"THEN PUT THE EYEGLASSES ON!" they continued.
Hayate did what the audience asked. "So how do I look?" she asked afterwards.
"Hayate Yagami cosplaying as Tohsaka Rin… with eyeglasses… TSUBARASHI!!!!!!" audience bellowed.
Hayate returned the two items to Yuuno. "Here you go, Yuuno-kun. Good luck with your quest," she spoke.
"It seemed neither of the Haraoun Ladies fit the prince's description," Ginga uttered and glanced to the panicked Chrono. "This can only lead to one final person." At her cue, the Elite Guards strangled Chrono and brought him before Yuuno. Nanoha, Fate and Hayate silently cheered for Yuuno, who was clueless as to know the true identity of 'Cinderella Haraoun'. Fan boys and male audiences rooted for Chrono and his bid to win Yuuno's heart.
"HOLD IT!"
Everyone looked at the door. Standing at the end of the passageway was Hinagiku, Carim and Imotou, all of whom were staring at the scene ahead of them.
"Uh… what?" Hayate asked.
"Isumi, there you are," Hinagiku spoke and approached the dumbfounded girl. "We've been looking for you everywhere. We thought we'd lose you forever."
"Hinagiku-san…"
"This isn't a part of the plan," Ginga murmured. "Looks like we still have more guests left. Prince Yuuno, would you please let them try the items?"
Yuuno looked at the three ladies. "I guess you are right, Announcer Ginga," he spoke. "Please, ladies, come forward."
"What is he doing?" Hinagiku asked and was carried by one of the Elite Guards towards Yuuno. This time, Hinagiku fan boys screamed disapproval and demanded the man to let her go off his perverse arms. The pink-haired girl found herself blushing furiously when Yuuno knelt down before her and put the slipper on her feet without even taking care of the angry fans. "Chotto! What is this? What are you doing?" she demanded. Yuuno ignored her and put the eyeglasses on her face, making her flushed in embarrassment and the fans erupted in wrath.
Yuuno sighed. "Alas, the items don't fit," he murmured and signalled the Elite Guard to take her back to Isumi. He turned to Carim. "I guess you're the last person before the mysterious girl over here," he said, pointing to Chrono.
Carim giggled. "As you wish, Your Highness." Elegantly she stepped onto the stage and sat on the chair. Yuuno gazed at her, smitten by the natural complexity of her beauty and gulped when the Head Priestess moe-ly smiled. "Go on. I will not object."
"Uh… okay."
Yuuno put the slipper on. To everyone's surprise, it fit Carim's size perfectly! "This cannot be! Is she the woman I've been looking for?" Not wanting to have any second or third thought, he put the eyeglasses on Carim's face and was astounded to see the accessory fitting into her image.
"This is impossible! Head Priestess of the Saint Church, Carim Garcia, actually fits the slipper and the eyeglasses?"
Yuuno was astounded. So did Nanoha, Fate, Hayate, Chrono, the production crews and the audience. Carim, noticing their awkward reaction, simply giggled and took hold of Yuuno's hand. "Prince Yuuno of Mid-Childa."
"Y…yes, Priestess Carim?" Yuuno asked.
Carim smiled. "I think I'm going to like you even more."
Yuuno's face turned red -- even redder than the ripest of tomatoes in the dew-covered morning. Nanoha, Fate and Hayate gasped. Spartan cosplayers roared in full-powered support. Shamal fell onto the floor, rolling madly and laughing out loud.
Unable to say anything to express his gratitude, he simply knelt before the High Priestess and kissed her palm. "Th… thank you, Priestess Carim," he spoke. "Your words have inspired me to fight for the sake of this kingdom. As the prince of Mid-Childa, I will ask you this truthful and honest question." And here he looked up at her to see her smiling into his eyes.
Carim smiled at his facial expression. "Go on. I will not be angry at you. I will be listening."
Yuuno coughed. "Priestess Carim, w… w…" He paused. Gathering the final piece of his strength, he proceeded. "Will you--"
"Hey! What about me?!"
Yuuno and Carim stared at Chrono. "What about Cinderella Haraoun, whom the prince is supposed to chase after and ask her to marry him?" Angrily and furiously he took off the wig and stomped it hard on the floor. "That's it! Starting today, no more fairy presentation from the bureau!"
Yuuno raised his eyebrow. "Chrono-kun, what are you doing in that girly dress?" he asked.
"What am I doing in this GIRLY DRESS?????" Chrono screamed. "Yuuno, you suck so much you didn't even help your poor friend!! What becomes of you????"
"Carim, has he signed in the anger management program?" Yuuno asked.
Carim giggled. "I don't know."
"Kyon-kun! Mitte! Mitte!"
Chrono turned to the voice. He was struck in angst. "Holy shi--"
The girl lifted Raising Heart over her head. With her trademark giggle she began her transformation and switched attire to an all-white Barrier Jacket, complete with ribbons armbands and boots. Then, she summoned a Mid-Childan magic symbol underneath her feet; a pair of magenta-coloured wings materialized on both sides of the Device Core's encasing, and the red crystal itself glowed many times before a word appeared on it.
--"Standby Ready."--
Imotou giggled. "Ikuyo, Raising Heart."
--"Alright."--
Several magical loops appeared in front of the staff, and a globe of concentrated energy began to form.
Imotou giggled again. "Starlight…"
She swung Raising Heart forward.
Chrono saw what she was trying to do. "NO! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!"
"BREAKER!"
The ultimate attack left all males dead and females blush at the moe sight. Chrono was the worst victim of all, having bled his nose to the point he was simply knocked out cold and lay unconscious on the floor. Only Yuuno and Carim were unaffected by the attack.
"Ara, what have you done this time?" Hinagiku asked.
Imotou simply smiled. "I just showed Kyon-kun my new trick."
"I say, Carim," Yuuno spoke, "I didn't know Raising Heart has the will to accept anyone else as its master."
"That means you still have a lot to learn, Prince Yuu-no," teasingly Carim replied.
"Oh, dear, is this how we have to end our stage play?" Ginga asked.
"I hope not," Shamal answered, "but I do know that we can have a long week of holiday after this."
Ginga nodded. "True, true."
MAGICAL GIRL LYRICAL CINDERELLA
"This has been a special presentation of the Lost Property Riot Force 6. All events and people featured are purely coincidental and do not have any connection with the real world or anything related to it."
Ginga and Shamal bowed to the camera. "Thank you for watching."
-x-x-x-x-x-
// OMAKE //
The argument became even more heated. Erio found himself at loss of words to quell the debates between his under-aged fellows and the Numbers' Nove and Cinque. Even though Imotou no longer bugged him with the SLB -- Imotou Shift, the girls were still constant pain in his back, and he was desperately looking for a way to escape to safety.
Or could he?
"What… what is this feeling!?"
Erio, Cinque, Nove, Annabelle, Lutecia, Caro, Vivio, Nove and the rest of the Numbers threw their sight to the horizon. They saw what looked like a samurai riding a horse on top of a cliff, which was mysteriously silhouetted by the sunset.
"Real men ride into the sunset…"
And the quote (spoken by anonymous) was proven right when the mysterious horse rider jumped off the cliff and galloped towards the sun. Erio, visitors, bystanders and TSAB officers watched at the strangely poignant scene and found themselves crying tears of manliness.
After a long period of silence, they finally yelled:
"REAL MEN RIDE EACH OTHER!!!!!"
Lutecia, Caro, Annabelle, Cinque, Nove and the Numbers killed all men with "Objection!" Buster.