Undercover

Chapter 28

I was greeted at Mrs. Morelli's door by a surly Grandma Bella. I could tell she was still harboring thoughts of giving me the eye even though Mom Morelli had cajoled her out of the notion the day before. "Good morning, Grandma Bella, what a lovely dress," I crooned, hoping to get on her better side.

She stuck her bony chin in the air. "This is my Joseph's favorite dress. I thought one of us should be thinking of him today since he isn't here with us, thanks to you." I pasted on my smile and walked stiffly through the warm home to the even warmer kitchen. I was greeted by all the women. Kathy, Mary and Angela immediately came forward to hug and kiss me and, of course, to lay hands on my bulging belly. I truly felt loved and accepted by most of Joe's family, including his mother.

"Stephanie! I'm so happy you are here!" Mrs. Morelli, looking flushed, had her hands full of pies she was removing from the oven. Barbara, Marc's longsuffering wife looked exhausted and harried as she worked on the salad. I always feel sorry for her when I see her. He's such a schmuck.

Around that time, the back door burst open and in poured 'the guys', including Marc, his eldest son, Jeff, 19, his younger son, Don, 15, Tony, Mike (Kathy's husband), Stewart (Mary's husband) and his son Greg, 12. I was dumbstruck when I saw Jeff. He was the spitting image of Joe as a teen. He was dark and brooding, wearing attitude bigger than the state of New Jersey and so handsome he could make a girl's mouth water. Jeff, seeing his grandmother, turned on the charm. This was definitely a male Morelli family trait. They could charm their way into anyone's heart and into most of our pants, as evidenced by the number of children littering the rooms of the house and the yard.

The guys had better things to do than hang around in the kitchen so they blew through pretty quickly, talking sports and snagging bites of the food that was everywhere in the kitchen. The testosterone parade moved through quickly. A few of them stopped to cop a feel and a kiss from their wives and to wave hello to me. Not Tony, of course. He had his eyes glued to the floor. After his little faux pas early in my pregnancy, he was trying not to even make eye contact. Soon, it was just the girls again.

"We always eat first and then let the kids rip into the gifts under the tree when we are finished. When everyone is all done opening presents, we'll do dessert," Mary explained to me. "Of course, now most of the kids are older, so it isn't like we have a bunch of bikes and roller skates anymore. Now it seems to be gift certificates and MP3 players. We're all excited about your new little one bringing in some excitement next year." There were tears shining in her eyes. I was used to it now. As much as she wanted children of her own, I knew she was happy for us.

She lowered her voice. "How's Joe?" She asked. "I've tried to play along but I know he didn't just run off with Terri. You'd be more upset if he had, and besides, he just wouldn't do it. He would never leave you. He's been crazy about you for like 5 years. He just wouldn't do that and certainly not with Terri."

"Don't say anything, Mary. Please?" I wasn't really going to break my promise to Joe, but she already knew. "He called me yesterday. He's fine."

"Will he be here in time for…? You know…?" She had her hands on Joe Jr. and he was kicking like mad.

"I sure hope so." My voice betrayed my fears and quivered. Hold it together, Stephanie.

"Me, too." She said. "I know he will. He'd move heaven and earth to get to you, you know. It will be fine."

"Hey, you two, what secrets are you telling in here? No whispering." It was Marc. He'd come over to the table to get a cookie from the platter in front of me.

"It's nothing, big brother. Stephanie was just giving me tips on how to get pregnant," Mary said with a little cat's smile, obviously trying to get him to butt out.

Marc guffawed, "Oh, give us all a break, Mary. Can we just have one peaceful day without having to hear about how you can't get pregnant? Boo hoo. Get the hell over it." Everyone within hearing range went totally silent and I realized he was drunk. I hadn't noticed it before. I heard Mrs. Morelli let out a long suffering sigh and saw her reach for her apron strings, like she was going to take it off and come handle the situation. Well, I'd heard enough. Leave it to me, hormonal Stephanie, to settle it.

I hauled my pregnant self up out of the chair where I'd landed and I was in his face in a flash. "You SORRY piece of shit. I can't believe you said that to her! You are just a cruel son of a bitch, aren't you? You don't deserve to be part of this family. They are good people. They are honorable and loyal and they have stood by each other through everything that life has thrown at them. You, you sorry piece of crap, you can't even stand by your own wife, when your life is wonderful. You have to drag around your little piece of ass you keep on the side and rub her nose in it. I think you are the smallest, most ridiculous excuse for a man I have ever seen." As quickly as I jumped on him, maybe I was just waiting for a chance to tell him off.

He was getting red and he'd balled his fists up. "Oh, this from the stupid bitch who couldn't even keep her husband satisfied for two months. I knew Joe must have been shacking up with Terri on the side because I couldn't see him throwing away that nice piece, but I didn't think you'd drive him completely away."

Well, I was already seeing red, but when I heard the words 'stupid bitch' I went bananas. I started looking around for a weapon. The only thing I saw was the big platter with all the cute little iced Christmas cookies on it. I didn't think I could even lift that huge platter, let alone crack it over his stupid skull. So, I resorted to kneeing him in the nuts. I scored a perfect hit. He went down in a heap.

Satisfied, I sat back down and carefully selected a reindeer cookie off of the platter. I bit my lip instead of the cookie, however. You could hear a pin drop. I kept my head down because I didn't want to see anyone's face. I couldn't believe it – my first Christmas with the Morelli family and I'd just assaulted Marc and screamed about his mistress in front of his wife. It's not at all that she didn't know about Shelly. The family just didn't talk about her in front of Barbara.

Then, I heard someone giggle. Then a couple more of them giggled. Then real laughter broke out when Marc threw up. Of course, I throw up when anyone else does, but I was able to just giggle with the rest of them this time. I stole a quick glance at Barbara to see how she was doing. She wasn't in the room anymore. Marc was muttering and I think he was considering trying to stand back up when Tony and Mike came in and hauled him up and out the back door to 'get some air'. Stewart was comforting Mary, who'd, of course, been devastated at Marc's insult. Mary looked at me over Stew's shoulder and mouthed 'thank you' to me.

I waited for the repercussions from Mrs. Morelli or Grandma Bella. Mom Morelli came over and handed me a cup of hot cocoa and helped herself to a cookie before strolling into the living room to enjoy a few minutes with her grandchildren. I didn't see Bella. Maybe she'd missed the whole thing.

Just as Kathy announced that the meal was almost ready, my cell phone rang in my purse. Stewart handed it to me and I started digging around in the cavernous abyss. It was ridiculous that I carried such a big purse, but I needed so much stuff. Sitting in Mrs. Morelli's breakfast nook, I started unloading it looking for my cell. I pulled out a can of hairspray and a can of defense spray and put them on the table next to the cookie platter. Next, I found a pair of handcuffs and then my gun and then another pair of handcuffs. FINALLY I found the cell phone. "Hello!" I shouted into it, scared I'd missed the call.

Several of the teenagers had gathered around to see the arsenal I'd unloaded from my handbag. I heard one of them whisper that I looked like a fun date.

"Cupcake, what took you so long? I was afraid I was going to miss you." It was such a relief to hear Joe's voice. After having gone so long in the beginning of the assignment, it seemed he was staying in touch more often now and that made me happy.

"Hi!" I said, not wanting to give away to the crowd who it was. "It's so nice to hear your voice."

"Yours too, baby. I miss you so much. Are you at my mom's house?"

"Yeah. I'm here, alright." I said, smiling at the gaggle of curious eyes that were watching me talk to him.

"Anything going on? I wish I was there."

"You and me both. We're getting ready to eat."

"Okay. Can I talk to my Mom for a minute?"

"Sure," I took the phone to Mrs. Morelli.

"MY BABY!" she screamed. "Oh, Joseph, it's so GOOD to hear your voice. We all miss you so much." They chatted for a few minutes. Joe must have asked if anything exciting was going on here. I'd ignored the question when he asked me. She must have felt compelled to rat on me for telling Marc off because she went into her pantry with the telephone and closed the door. Everyone else had been clamoring to speak to Joe, including Bella. Mrs. Morelli wasn't about to share the opportunity to talk to Joe with anyone else, especially his grandma who might tell him off.

She handed the telephone back to me where we said our goodbyes quietly while everyone was putting the food on the table. Of all the people in the world, Joe wanted to talk to me and his mother. I felt so special.

We sat down and Grandma Bella insisted on Marc saying the blessing. He still looked a tiny bit green, but he'd recovered considerably. He was able to send me dirty looks all the way down and across the table. I reciprocated in kind. Just because I am going to be a mother doesn't mean I have to grow up. I was just about ready to stick my tongue out at him when I noticed that Grandma Bella was looking at me. I bowed my head reverently until the prayer was done.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. The gift exchange was loud and chaotic, like most of everything this family does. There were a lot of gag gifts and a lot of inside jokes I didn't get yet. It was still fun. I enjoyed laughing and thinking about how much fun it would have been with Joe here. We'll have a great time next year.

Dessert was an informal affair. There were pies, cakes, homemade candy and those darned cookies. I'd eaten probably 20 of them before and after the meal. Everything was laid out buffet style and everyone just served themselves. It was so hot in the house, and combined with my natural internal combustion from the pregnancy, I was roasting, so I went out to the porch to cool off and eat my pie in peace. I was watching the kids play in the yard, throwing snowballs and running around when someone joined me on the swing. It was Barbara. She was bundled up in her winter coat, with her scarf and gloves. She held a cup of steaming coffee in her hands and put it near her face to feel the heat of the cup.

Barbara usually kept her distance from me. I think she suspected I felt she was a fool to stay with Marc.

"I got warm in the house and wanted to come outside to cool off," I said to her between bites of pie and cookie.

"I came out to talk to you," she shared. "But now that I'm here, I don't know what to say." She was looking at the kids and not at me.

"You could tell me to butt out and to mind my own business," I offered. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. It's hard for me to see someone hurting someone else and not say something about it."

"What makes you think he's hurting me?" Now she was looking at me.

"Well, I just assumed. I mean, he's been running around on you for years. He spends a lot of money on her and time with her, let alone the fact that he shares so much intimacy with her that he promised to keep only for you. Doesn't that bother you?" I was stunned.

She considered it. "No. I can't say it bothers me anymore. I guess it did at first. Maybe for the first few years when the kids were little, it did. Now…I don't know. He's a known commodity. I know what to expect. He'll spend tonight and New Years Eve with Shelly. Most nights, though, he comes home to our house to sleep. As long as I give him time to shower before I get too close to him, I can even convince myself that things are normal."

I regarded her with disbelieving eyes.

"As for the money, I'm set. I have a good nest egg that I've set aside. If he ever leaves, I'll be fine. We have accounts all ready for the kids' college. The house is paid for. I don't think I even have to worry about it until Mom Morelli dies. He wouldn't face that wrath and I really don't think he'll do it anyway."

"What about you? Don't you think you deserve to have someone who really loves you? I hate that you are settling like that. You are so pretty. You could have such a great life," I said.

"I do have a great life. I have a wonderful family. My husband does love me. Stephanie, wake up. All guys cheat. He still comes home to me. I have friends. I have time to do whatever I want to," she believed all this crap. I could see it in her dead eyes.

"I'm glad you're happy with it. I couldn't be," I whispered.

"You will be. In 20 years, your life will look just like mine. Joe's no saint. All those boys are cut from the same cloth. Ask Angela about Tony. Ask Mom Morelli. They have both suffered a lot more than I have. Like I said, at least I know what to expect. If there's an emergency, I have Shelly's phone number. I can't say we are exactly friends, but we aren't enemies. If I see her in the grocery store, we don't avoid each other anymore. It's just a fact of life. Everyone knows about it. It's not a big ugly secret. Most of us just have the good taste not to talk about it." With this, she stood and gave me one last withering look before going back in the house.

"My life will never be like yours," I said to no one. Joe Morelli, I thought, you'd better get your fine ass back here before your family drives me insane.

I confirmed with Mary Lou that night that she would go with me to start childbirth classes next week so I would be ready for the big day. Joe had a list of books and reference materials he was supposed to use to get himself prepared, too.