Thanks so much everyone for reviewing; it makes me very happy!! By the way, if any of you have any suggestions about what you think should happen to our boys, let me know in your reviews, because I only have a vague idea of what's going to happen here, and mostly I'm just flying by the seat of my pants. Lol. :)

6: Don't Stand So Close to Me (The Police)

There was no time to react.

Ryan found himself suddenly beneath a warm body with warm lips pressed furiously to his own in what he expected would be a heated kiss to any other man. He tensed, blinking rapidly. What did she think she was doing?

It got to the point that she was pressing her tongue against his lips until he finally did something to stop the intrusion, for he was stunned into frozenness.

Ryan's movements were slow and mechanical as he put one hand on each of her shoulders and pushed her backward. She opened her eyes and looked at him, her lips jutted outward, hoping for him to reciprocate and kiss her back. He didn't.

Slowly, he silently manoeuvred out from under her body, which was draped over his in an attempt for closeness. He scooted to the other side of the bed and just looked at her a while, sitting there and not saying anything.

Lillian's heartbeat sounded so loud to her in the following silence it was nearly deafening. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out; they stared at each other, both too stunned to do anything. Ryan was the first to speak.

"Lillian," he said carefully, looking her in the eyes, "If I did anything to lead you on, I apologise, but I really just don't... like you in that way."

Emotions flew across Lillian's face in a blur— sadness, hurt, anger and then a sort of neutral acceptance flashed across her face in quick succession, finishing with the acceptance. Her eyes still looked sad, even as she took a deep breath and looked away from him.

"Oh," she squeaked, barely managing to hide her shock. Everything had been going so well! "I— sorry, Ryan, I must have misinterpreted..."

"I didn't mean to send you mixed signals, I just— I figured you knew—" He paused. "Everybody usually just figures it out on their own. I just assumed..."

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," Lillian cut off his explanation, looking up from where she had been examining her fingernails and looking at him. She had a sinking feeling that she did know to what he was referring to, but she didn't want to believe it.

"That I'm, well... gay."

Had hadn't ever needed to tell anyone before; those around him who mattered to him any always just seemed to know automatically, from the way he walked or talked or dressed or danced or whatever. Those who didn't matter often criticised him for it, and he used to deny it in high school, but it was always there, always noticeable. That someone had not seen it right away was somehow comforting, but it made him feel awful for not telling her outright. He felt horrible for accidently leading her to believe he could ever have feelings for her, when the truth was, he couldn't.

"But..." Lillian couldn't help thinking back to their many waltz practices, how he had held her so surely and close, kissing her on the forehead when they parted. He always seemed to be touching her; patting her on the knee, tucking her hair behind her ear, guiding her through dance steps. How could all have that been plutonic? "You always acted like... like you liked me."

"I do like you. Just not romantically, I suppose; you're a very nice person, and remind me of all the good qualities in my sister. But if I were to ever love you, it would only like that: like a sister."

Lillian had to bite back a furious retort; she should have done better research. How much time had she wasted pursuing a gay guy? Weeks! Weeks wasted in her life-plan. How on earth could she start over, find someone new and get them to fall in love with her before the end of her sophomore year at Juilliard? Nothing seemed to be going her way.

"I understand," she said meekly, though on the inside she was fuming. Weeks, wasted! Weeks spent getting to know his likes and dislikes, his talents and interests. How stupid of her. She should have asked him upfront if he would like to be in a relationship with her. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"It's kind of late... I guess I'd better get going."

Ryan bid her farewell as she made her exit, an almost permanent look of regret on his face. When she was gone, he busied himself by trying finish his essay alone, trying to forget about the unfortunate incident that had just occurred.

He hoped they could salvage their friendship, and he hoped that he hadn't messed up too badly by not coming out to her right away. He couldn't concentrate on the work in front of him. He needed Lillian's expertise! The sigh that followed this epiphany was probably loud enough to wake anyone sleeping in the dorm next door.

Books were quickly put away once Ryan realised that he couldn't finish all of this work on his own, and he ended up sitting at his vanity staring at himself in the mirror.

Did he not look gay anymore? Sure, his taste in brightly-coloured clothing had subsided a little since graduation, and he no longer had his sister to coordinate his outfits so that they expertly matched hers on any particular day, but had his look changed so drastically that he no longer looked like himself?

Ryan would have to consult his sister in the morning, he decided, upon what could be done to make his wardrobe reflect him once more. His toned-down university style obviously didn't— or else this never would have happened in the first place.