Confusion and Awkwardness

A/N: Mackie, here! So I am - VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY *deep breath* SORRY! For not updating. You have no idea how guilty I feel! Feel free to throw rocks at my ridiculously lazy self. I definitely deserve it! *sob* Don't be mad at Elle! This chapter was all me and my responsibility.

So here you have it! Edward's POV! I was excited to be able to write it!! I love getting into his mind!

On with it…

EDIT: I do not know why, but it seems that when the chapter was posted, it all was underlined and some parts are bolded that shouldn't be (see first authors' note). I do not know why. And I'm sorry if it still is or if it is distracting! My apologies, Mackie

EPOV ~ All of the last two chapters

My mouth was gaping open. We were moving? I hadn't moved in several years. In fact, after Carlisle and Esme had found me at Seattle Saints, we had picked up and left for Denali, Alaska. I was quite shocked that we would be leaving. Especially since it was Emmett (my adoptive brother) and my senior year.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't mad at them. I was just…pleasantly surprised? I guess that's the best description.

"Why Forks?" Emmett asked loudly, a whiney edge crossing his voice. I rolled my eyes. Emmett could be the toughest, meanest guy, but sometimes…well, he's just a marshmallow.

"Well, Carlisle has been offered a very nice job at the small hospital there. They are going to pay him good money. He'll be their chief of staff," Esme replied.

Carlisle beamed at us. Despite having to pick up and move, I was rather excited. A new adventure was in store for us. I grinned back, encouragingly.

Esme and Carlisle stood and we followed suit. "We should start packing," my mother started. She was right I suppose.

It was already the last day in August. Apparently they could get the house sooner, so we had to wait. Consequently, we would start the year a couple weeks late. But Emmett and I weren't worried. Both made friends easily. Well…me more so than Emmett, seeing as anyone he comes in contact with him nearly pees themselves the first time. He was just so…big.

For several days we cleaned out the house, packing everything tightly into organized boxes until the house stood empty.

I took a quick tour of the first real home I had ever known. Many memories of the last few years came flooding back as I walked the barren halls.

Eventually we locked the door behind us and left Denali.

****

After only a day of moving in, Esme had insisted on getting Emmett and me into school.

"You've already missed enough!" She rattled.

Emmett and I drove up to the school in our respective cars (a silver Volvo for me and a huge ass green jeep for Emmett, seeing as it was the only car able to hold his size comfortably).

After receiving our schedules from a dazed woman by the name of Ms. Cope in the front office, we continued to our first period class that we shared. Mr. Manley - Government and Economics. Emmett knocked on the door, but with no answer knocked a little louder. I vaguely heard someone call attention to the knocking which was followed shortly by the opening of the door by a tall, portly man in his mid-30s.

"Hello, sir," Emmett began. "My name is Emmett and this is my brother, Edward. We just moved in from Alaska, and I believe we are in your class." Mr. Manley took a quick look at our schedules and gave a swift nod of his head.

I'm sure at one point, he introduced us. But all I heard was a vague mention of the words 'Emmett' and 'move.' My eyes were focused solely on a beautiful woman in the center of the classroom. Her gorgeous chestnut head of hair, which had been down as she doodled on a notebook, slowly rose to look at us. General curiosity was first present in her almond shaped and colored eyes, though that soon changed as the recognition and pure shock took over.

However, her flabbergasted face had nothing on me. I was beyond astounded. I couldn't believe that what stood before my eyes was my one and only best girl friend in the world. Isabella Marie Swan.

My eyes raked over her, taking in her jean skirt that came to mid-thigh and her deep, royal blue fitted blouse that had a rainbow of music notes speckled across it. I had to admit, the blue contrasted perfectly with her milky-white skin that almost made me weak in the knees.

I kept staring and neither of us looked away. Just in time, I managed to hear the teacher appoint me a desk. And where was it? Smack dab in the middle, right behind my Bella.

Whoa, whoa, whoa…Back up! 'My' Bella? I felt like ramming my head on a slab of cement. I couldn't act or feel like this! This was Bella for goodness sakes! My best friend who I hadn't seen in years!

But as I watched Bella's eyes follow me till I sat behind her, I felt an amazing warmth in my chest. I recognized it. It was a feeling that I thought may never come again. A feeling I had not experienced since the last time I had seen Bella.

*Flashback*

Tears slipped down my twelve year old face as Bella and I hugged for what could easily be the last time.

A lovely woman who worked as a social worker in Seattle had found Bella in the orphanage and had insisted on taking her home. She had fallen in love with her, and since she could not have any more children after her first daughter, felt she could receive what she always dreamed of and give a wonderful, loving home back to Bella in return.

Her husband, a police chief for a small town, was very gracious and welcoming to Bella. She truly felt they could give her what had been snatched away so early in her life.

So I was happy for her. Wasn't I?

Even though I had to stay in this place far longer than her, I was happy for her. She would have that happily ever after family that every abandoned or orphaned child dreamed of. So why was I so resentful and…jealous of her?

I was being far to selfish with these thoughts. I had to end them now. I would be grateful for Bella's happiness. She deserved the world.

"Good-bye, Bella. I'm always with you, wherever you go."

Bella slowly opened the car door and got in. The police chief grabbed my best friend's bags off the curb and stowed them in the trunk of the family's forest green Impala.

Her nose nearly smashed against the glass, tears falling down her face, I felt my heart break. With those deep almond eyes she had managed to wrench out my heart and take it with her. And I knew I would never get it back.

"You have my heart," I mouthed to her. But she didn't understand, shaking her head, what I was saying. It was just as well.

I waved feebly and saw her return the gesture with just as much ferocity in her eyes.

I vowed from then on to never live a day with out thinking of Bella.

The car drove away then, leaving me a teary mess on the side of the road.

*End flashback*

I may have been twelve the day I made that vow, but I had followed through. Each and every day I thought of Bella. It wasn't hard. Everything reminded me of her. If I saw something brown I immediately thought of her deep, gorgeous eyes.

Puppies used to hold a special place in her heart (almost as high as me, she once said). So every single time I saw a dog or puppy, my mind jumped to Bella.

There was just something so enchanting about her.

The bell rang then. I was caught off guard. I didn't realize the end of the period was upon us, let alone the lack of notes I had.

The only thing that caught my attention was Bella's quick pace.

She scrambled around shoving books and random papers into her bag, practically running out of the room.

My eyebrows furrowed as I slowly gathered my things and headed to my next period. Why was she acting so weird? Maybe she hated me? No, not likely. Maybe she was just scared. It had, after all, been so long.

I found myself pleading with the Lord above that she was in my next class. I really wanted to say hi to her at least. I could wait, though not very patiently, to have a conversation with her.

I walked down the hall to room 402. French III - Mrs. Villanelle.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the worst (or best).

There, on the right side of the room sat Bella. She held a mirror and was, I presume, checking her make-up. I frowned slightly, worrying my wonderful Bella (I really had to stop saying that) had become materialistic. Impossible,I chastised myself. I couldn't even imagine Bella being so self-centered.

I entered the classroom then. After speaking briefly with the teacher (who insisted I address her as Madame Villanelle) I was handed the usual supplies and directed to a desk across the room.

I turned my head slowly to see where she had pointed and found myself staring into the eyes of a chagrined Bella.

I furrowed my eyebrows thinking of how she had reacted earlier. It just didn't make sense.

I made my way to the desk never letting my eyes leave the dark brown orbs that could only belong to Bella Emerson. My Bella. An afterthought struck me. Of course Bella's last name was not likely Emerson any more. It had likely changed with her adoption, just as mine had.

I sat back in my chair, biding my time until class was over.

Time passed ridiculously slow. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It was somewhat sad really. It was like I couldn't let go of my memories. I had to talk to her. If I didn't, surely I would go crazy.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bell buzzed. Lunch, I thought with relief.

I watched with rapt attention as Bella put her things together at a much more normal pace. She put her bag over her petite frame and walked from the classroom without so much as a glance my way.

Slightly dejected, I gathered my own school supplies and made my way to my new locker. What was I going to do about Bella? We needed to talk. Badly. Or, well…at least I did. I'm not sure she would react well if I asked at lunch or in any class we may have together later. That's when the idea came to me. I would follow her out at the end of school. I wouldn't corner her, per se, but I would…erm…confront her. Yes, that was a better term. I didn't want to seem like some psycho stalker. I laughed grimly to myself as I strolled down the now barren hallway to the cafeteria. I would certainly have to leave her alone for the rest of the day. Of course, I thought, I'd already been doing that.

As I made my way to the cafeteria, I intercepted Emmett who had appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

"Let's go eat, little bro!" Emmett exclaimed excitedly. Only Emmett would be so excited about food, I though grimly.

We entered the cafeteria preparing to wait in the endless line for food. The school was small, so only two lines were available. Unfortunately, it seemed as though nearly everyone bought their food here.

"So, Eddie, how's your first day been?" Emmett asked.

"Well, you see," I snapped sarcastically, "it was going delightfully well until you called me 'Eddie.' Now I just want to be the living crap out of you!" I seethed. He knew I hated be called such a vile name, but he never stopped.

"I never have understood that statement," he replied stupidly. "How can crap be living? And how in hell's name are you going to beat it out of me. Because, frankly Edward, that's gross. And I'm not sure the janitors would appreciate such a mess. After all, I do eat a lot!"

I wretched slightly at his blunt language. Nasty images invaded my mind without my permission. Ew, ew, ew!!!

We managed to receive our food relatively quickly and glanced around for a place to sit. Emmett looked around the cafeteria as if he was looking for someone he knew. Well, I thought somewhat optimistically, maybe we'll make some new friends.

Sadly, however, all optimism was drained from me along with the color in my face as my eyes followed the direction of Emmett's smile and wave.

"Hey! Emmett, Edward! Over here!" A tall, blonde boy yelled from across the cafeteria. He looked as if he knew us. Though I certainly didn't know him. Emmett seemed to, though, judging by the recognition apparent on his face.

We made our way through the crowded and small cafeteria. As we approached the table, I noticed that, to my horror and excitement, Bella sat among the small group of friends. Unfortunately, it was far too late to turn back now. So I followed Emmett and accepted their invitation to sit down.

"Hey Jasper, man!" Emmett boomed beside me. He banged fists with the person named Jasper.

"Hey Emmett!" Jasper replied enthusiastically. "Care to join?"

I answered affirmatively before taking a seat next to her. It made my spine tingle at the close proximity. I didn't miss the glance Bella shared with Alice, followed by a blonde girl. She was, in a sense, a bombshell. But she had nothing, nothing, on Bella.

"Who are your friends, Jazz?" A pixie-like girl spoke from across the table. Her short, spiky black hair gave here the look of a fairy. I wonder if she was hyperactive. She certainly seemed the type. I could tell by her fidgeting hands.

"Oh, this is Emmett and Edward Cullen. Met them in homeroom this morning." Vague memories of meeting this boy named Jasper floated back into the front of my mind. I had gathered this morning that he was a nice kid that seemed to be a good person to hang out with.

"I'm Alice, Jasper's girlfriend, and that's Rosalie Hale, Jasper's sister, and that's Bella Swan, my sister!" The pixie girl named Alice introduced everyone with a wave of her hand.

I noticed Rosalie, the blonde, reach across the table to take Emmett's bear-sized hand in a firm hand shake. I suddenly wanted to laugh at her boldness.

"Hi?" He responded in question to her forwardness.

In a more casual sense, Rosalie reached across Bella's front to shake my hand lightly. Much less vigorous than the excited gesture she had offered my big brother.

I smiled politely towards her and said hello.

Small talk convened at random intervals between the awkward silences of new acquaintances. Many questions were directed toward Emmett or myself, asking where we had moved from and what brought us to Forks, Washington of all places.

"We moved down here from Denali, Alaska with our adoptive parents, Carlisle and Esme," I responded quietly. "Well, my adoptive parents," I added. I continued to stare shyly at my food. I didn't feel like talking to anyone but Bella. I was afraid that if I looked up for too long, I'd end up staring uncontrollably at her.

"Adopted?" I heard Rosalie ask. "Are you originally from Denali?" Crap, I thought. The exact wrong direction I had intended for this conversation to go. I noticed Bella shift uncomfortably in her seat.

"Uh, no. I'm originally from Chicago, but I was staying at a local orphanage in Seattle when Carlisle and Esme found me. That was when I was fourteen." I hoped this was enough information to keep them at bay until I was ready to discuss the topic further. Right now, everything just felt so tense and awkward. Apparently I had no such luck.

"Seattle?" I heard Rosalie perk up interestedly. "Which orphanage? Maybe you know Bella? She's adopted, too."

I saw from the corner of my down-turned eyes that she was bouncing in anticipation of my answer.

Despite the awful situation, the blessed bell rang shrilly throughout the cafeteria. I was saved. For now, I thought grimly.

I watched as Bella snatched up her things and high-tailed it out of the cafeteria. A bewildered expression was smeared across my face. Why was she acting so odd?

I reluctantly gathered my ridiculous books and headed off the AP Chemistry.

A/N: I just love the idea of an emotional Edward (see flashback). I couldn't resist.

So I still apologize for the lack of update. I realize that it has been nearly a month. Blame me (Mackie) fully. I'm just too damn lazy. But on the plus side, I have been in a huge writing mood! So I've been working on my stories as well as this one.

The next chapter is all Elle!

Preview: A confrontation b/w Edward and Bella!!! Dun, dun, DUN!!!!!! *scary music!*

Review! Thanks!