Thanks for the reviews. I know some of you are pretty peeved at me for making Jack angry at Kate, but don't worry, by the end of this chapter, I think you'll have a better idea of where I'm going with this... (And for the record, I'm a hardcore Jater, as those of you who've read my other fics will know! ;) I just got tired of writing the same story over and over, so I thought I'd try something new in this and my last fic.)

Chapter 15. Psychoanalysis

After being dismissed by both Kevin and Jack, Kate wandered back over to the campsite, but she didn't try to reassimilate herself into the group. She didn't feel like being social, so while Jack and Ana shared their plans with a despondent-looking Kevin, she perched on a log on the other side of the fire, prodding the flames with a stick.

She was contemplating turning in for the night, not because she had any intention of sleeping, but because it was the best way she could think of to avoid everyone, when the blonde woman she'd noticed with Jack and Ana earlier sat down tentatively beside her.

"You look like you could use a friend," she said with a warm grin when Kate glanced up at her, torn between the need to make a connection with someone in this place, and her desire to remain alone with her thoughts. "I'm Libby, and you must be Kevin's wife – Kate, right?"

Hearing her name, her real name, Kate wondered if it was Kevin or Ana who had her this information. "Ex-wife," she corrected her, testing it out. If they were going to be there for as long as Ana seemed to think, it was a phrase she was going to have to get used to.

"Really?" Libby asked, eyes wide with surprise, and confusion. "As of when?"

Kate gave her a wry smile. "As of about half an hour ago."

"Oh." The other woman looked sheepish as she shifted her attention to the fire. "No wonder you look like someone just ran over your dog."

Out of the corner of her eye, Kate saw Libby give her a sidelong glance, checking to see how her joke had been received; she cracked a tiny smile at the expectant look on her face, touched by this strange woman's kindness. She didn't have to come over, or try to cheer her up, but for some reason, she wanted to.

When she didn't say anything in response, the other woman's expression turned serious again. "You know, back in the real world, I counsel people about stuff like this, so if you wanna talk about it…"

Kate didn't know what she would say, not without betraying her secret, so she shook her head, offering her a weak smile. "Not really. But thanks."

Libby nodded, not appearing at all offended by Kate's reluctance to talk to her as she turned her gaze back on the fire. "Okay, we can just sit here," she agreed, settling herself more comfortably on the log.

She was shivering in her tattered halter neck dress, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, so Kate took a shirt out of her pack and offered it to her with a smile.

She accepted it gratefully, returning Kate's grin as she slipped it on over her clothes. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

They went back to sitting for a while, until Libby broke the silence again. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Kate didn't want to risk alienating the one person willing to associate with her, not when she'd already been cast out of the inner circle, so she shook her head, tensing as she anticipated the question.

"What happened? The way he talks about you… I can't remember the last time I saw a guy that in love."

Kate wasn't ready for everyone to know, so she settled for providing her with a heavily censored version of the story. "I lied to him about who I really was, and when he found out the truth, he couldn't deal with it." She gave her a wistful smile as she remembered Kevin's exact words: I love you, and I'm glad you're okay, but I don't know you, and I'm not sure I want to. "He said he didn't know me."

Libby offered her a sympathetic smile, touching her arm gently as she said, "Everybody lies in relationships, Kate. I'm sure he'll get over it."

Kate wanted to believe her, but she couldn't. Things had gone to far now to ever go back. Kevin wouldn't be able to forgive her, not when he could barely bring himself to say her name. "No, he won't. Everybody lies, but not like this – this was… big."

Libby looked over at her curiously, but seemed to know better than to ask. "So what are you going to do about it?" she said. "Are you going to try to work things out with him?"

Kate's eyes flicked over to Jack, still talking to Ana on the other side of the campsite, as she considered Libby's question. Kevin had gone off on his own again, into the darkness, leaving the two of them alone to chat like old friends. As she watched, Ana turned to Jack with a flirtatious grin, saying something Kate couldn't hear. Her stomach tightened as he laughed, running a hand over his hair, and for a moment she wondered if they were laughing at her.

"I don't know," she said finally. "I don't know if I can."

Once the words were out of her mouth, she realised that it wasn't just Kevin she was talking about; she didn't realise how obvious this was until she saw Libby glance over at Jack and Ana with a knowing smile.

"You don't know if you can, or you don't know if you want to?"

"I don't… what exactly are you suggesting?" Kate asked, but she knew she wasn't fooling anyone, least of all herself.

"I saw the way you were looking at him, at Jack," Libby said. "You have feelings for him, don't you?"

When Kate stared down at the jungle floor, guilty that her break up with Kevin wasn't the only source of her self-pity, she added in a gentler tone, "It's okay if you do – I've dealt with enough relationships in my career life to know that when it comes to love, more often than not, the timing sucks. In your case, it just sucks a little more than most people's."

It was the best lead-in she was ever going to get; before she could stop herself, Kate found herself confessing, desperate to get it off of her chest, "I kissed him today, in the jungle. He thinks it was a mistake, that I was just confused and upset over something he said, but I…"

"You think it might be something else?"

"Yeah," she agreed, biting her lip. "I don't know what to call it yet, but I feel something for him. Do you think what I did counts as cheating?" She wanted her to say no, to tell her it was okay, that she wasn't like her mother, but at the same time, she wasn't sure she deserved to be let off the hook.

"To some people it would," Libby began slowly, looking thoughtful as she considered this, "especially if you have feelings for him, but then kissing someone isn't like having sex – there isn't always time to stop and think about what you're about to do. So in a way, even though it's still a betrayal, it's a lot easier to justify."

What she'd said made sense, but Kate couldn't help feeling guilty when she reminded herself that she'd had plenty of time to think before trying to seduce Jack in the jungle. The first kiss was a fluke, but the second; that was premeditated. "What if I told you that if he hadn't stopped me, I don't know what it would've turned into…?"

"I guess that depends on how far you were willing to let it go."

Kate sighed, staring down at the dirt. It was all so complicated, she felt like her head was going to explode with all the conflicting thoughts swirling inside it. "I don't know," she admitted softly, glad that she wasn't having this conversation with her husband. "I knew what I was doing was wrong, that I was hurting Kevin, that even though it felt good, I'd be ashamed of myself afterwards, but I wanted to keep going. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, I don't think so," Libby allowed, her smile sympathetic, "not if you really care about Jack. That just makes you human, and we, as humans, are all incredibly complex and messed up. I sometimes wonder how anyone gets out of bed in the morning," she added with a laugh, succeeding in forcing another grin out of Kate.

"That's exactly what Jack said when I freaked out," she told her, glancing over at him, still alone, with Ana. "Not that last part, but the part about being human."

"He's a smart guy," Libby agreed, following Kate's eyes across the campsite. "They're both really great guys – I can see why it would be so hard for you."

She watched Jack and Ana with Kate for a moment, before turning the conversation back to her. "So how did it make you feel – when you kissed Jack?"

It wasn't something Kate had allowed herself to think much about, not when she thought it couldn't go anywhere, but now that she was free to pursue him if she wanted, she realised how frightening that was. "Guilty. Scared. Overwhelmed," she said, confused by the intensity of her feelings after such a short time. "I love Kevin – I have pretty much from the moment I met him – but with Jack, there's this connection that I never had with him, or any other guy I've ever been with. When I'm talking to him, I want to tell him everything, even the stuff I'm not proud of," she confessed, "and not just because I feel bad about lying to him."

"You said lies are what ruined your relationship with Kevin, so why don't you?" Libby suggested gently. "Whatever it is, the anticipation's gotta be worse, right?"

Normally, Kate would agree with her; there were days when she was with Kevin when the fear of discovery made her sick; but knowing how sordid the details of her history appeared from the outside, she wasn't sure she was ready to see the look in his eyes when he found out who she really was. "Because the truth would scare him, and he'd hate me the way Kevin does now," she told her softly.

"There's always that possibility," the other woman agreed, "that he might not like what you have to say, but who knows? He might even surprise you.

"Either way, don't you think the truth's worth a shot? If you tell him, and he can find a way past it, then you'll know that he really cares about you, and not just whoever you've been pretending to be. And if he can't – at least you'll save yourself the heartache of going through what you went through with Kevin."

She yawned, covering her mouth, before closing her speech with, "Those are my thoughts, anyway. It's been a long day – I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Just think about what I said, okay? People aren't always the monsters we make them out to be."

Kate couldn't help but smile when it occurred to her that, in spite of her objections, she'd just been psychoanalysed by a professional. "That's amazing, what you just did there – how you snuck in and gave me a therapy session when I told you I didn't want one."

Libby grinned as she stretched her back and stood. "That's my job. Oh, and Kate?" she added as she headed off to the dark corner of the campsite where some of the others were sleeping. "Good luck."

Next chapter(s): More on Jack and Ana's plan, and Jack and Kate have a serious conversation (Meanwhile, Kevin gets jealous...) ;)