Thanks for the reviews -- I'm glad you all liked Libby. I'm actually considering giving her a more prominent role now!

Chapter 16. Making Amends

Once Libby had left her to her own devices, Kate followed her advice and thought about what she'd said well into the night, not just about Jack, but about Kevin. She was right: Kevin was a great guy, a really great guy, and a part of Kate would always love him for it, but now that she'd lost him, she wasn't sure that she wanted to reopen old wounds by trying to win him back. He knew the truth now, and that should make it easier, but his reaction only seemed to highlight the differences in where they were coming from: he wanted a house in the suburbs, and a wife who would stay home with their half a dozen kids, something safe and predictable to come home to at the end of the day, and at this point in her life, she couldn't give him that. She was everything he was trying to escape from after he left the station; he deserved to be with someone else, someone normal, someone who could give him the life that he wanted without any strings, and she… well, she needed to make sure that she didn't spend the rest of hers wondering 'what if?': What if Jack was different? What if he could handle the truth? What if her instincts were right, and they really were great together?

It wouldn't be easy, but she decided that the only way to find out the answers to these questions was to tell him the truth, and take it from there. If he still wanted her after that, then she'd know that what they had was real, and if he didn't… then Libby was right, she'd save herself a lot of pain further down the line.

She woke the next morning determined to force a confrontation with Jack, but when she sought him out shortly before sunrise, he was standing at the edge of the campsite with Ana, holding another one of their war counsels, and she lost her nerve. She wasn't sure how to get him alone without attracting the other woman's attention and causing a scene, so she took her backpack and wandered down to a gully at the bottom of the hill.

The others were all back at the campsite; with a quick look around to make sure that no one had followed her, she peeled off her soiled t-shirt and soaked it in the stream, draping it over a branch to dry. She was still caked in mud from their adventure in the jungle; tying her hair back into a messy bun, she knelt on the bank, closing her eyes as she filtered the water through her fingers, rinsing herself off.

She was so immersed in pretending that it was a real shower, and not stream in the middle of nowhere, that she didn't hear someone else approaching until their footsteps were followed with a startled murmur of, "Sorry… I should've let you know I was coming".

Opening her eyes, she turned to see an uncomfortable-looking Kevin standing on the slope behind her, his gaze travelling from the waistband of her jeans, up her bare back, to a point just above her head, as he tried not to stare.

"I saw you come down here on your own," he explained by way of further apology, swallowing and averting his eyes as she reached into her pack for a clean shirt, "and since we've had some… trouble… with the natives, I just wanted to make sure you didn't get into any yourself."

She offered him a friendly smile once she was dressed and he looked up again, touched by his lingering concern. "It's okay, it's not like it's anything you haven't seen before," she reminded him with a wry grin, resisting the urge to laugh at how absurd the situation was. Technically, they were married; married people weren't supposed to get embarrassed over things like this.

"Yeah," he agreed, licking his lips as he stared down at the dirt; they were both blushing now, scores of memories, some not too distant, running through each of their heads.

When the silence began to get too painful, he looked up again, clearing his throat as he waited for her to stop collecting her things and meet his eyes. "While we're here, I just wanna apologise for some of the things I said last night. I was out of line, and I'm sorry. It's not that I don't want to know you, it's just…" he turned away, back towards the campsite as he tried to find the right words, "…hard. I need some time to get used to this, because right now, I just want my wife – Monica – back. Does that make sense?"

She nodded, a fresh wave of guilt and shame washing over her, wishing that she could be the woman he so desperately wanted her to be, if only to make him happy again. "Yeah, it does," she said, resisting the urge to add insult to injury by apologising again.

He offered her a weak smile, seemingly relieved that they'd been able to reach this understanding. "I guess I should get back and leave you to it," he said, gesturing over his shoulder, to their campsite. "You should probably come back too – it's not safe out here alone, and Jack and Ana wanna head out soon."

"Okay," she agreed, returning his smile until he disappeared into the trees. Once he was gone, and she could breathe again, she dropped her head into her hands, letting out an exasperated groan. She wanted to run away from this God-forsaken island, to start over somewhere where nobody knew her, or what a mess she'd made of things, but instead, she was stuck in limbo between two really sweet guys who both wanted her but didn't like what she was capable of.

She waited until she'd composed herself before climbing the hill back up to their campsite, to where everyone was now awake and preparing to follow Jack to the beach.

"Hey," she said when she spotted him chatting to Libby and a couple of other people she didn't recognise, making her way over to his side. To her relief, Ana wasn't with him; in fact, she was nowhere in sight. "Can I talk to you?"

Libby gave her a sympathetic look when he said, "Now's really not a good time," brushing her off as he moved on to the next group.

She probably should have taken this as a sign that he wasn't interested in her, or anything that she had to say, but she wasn't ready to give up, not until he heard her out, so she followed him, succeeding in getting his attention when she grasped his arm, adding, "It's important".

On the other side of the campsite, she could see Kevin watching them, his expression dark and unreadable as he brooded on their intimate body language, but she pretended not to notice as she waited for Jack to respond.

"Okay, you've got five minutes," he agreed after a moment, studying her seriously as he glanced sidelong at her, but he didn't stop.

"It's not really a conversation we can have in five minutes," she argued with an exasperated sigh, wondering if he was ever going to let up long enough for her to finish. He was so different to Kevin, so much less inclined to forgive personal injuries; she guessed a lot of that had to do with his cheating wife.

"Then we're just gonna have to have it later," he said, lengthening his strides, the tiny bit of warmth he'd just shown her flickering out of his gaze, as if he thought this was another lie.

"I really want to tell you everything, Jack," she assured him, keeping her voice low so that no one else would hear her, "why I lied to Kevin, what happened to Tom, what I did to cause all this…"

Her words seemed to have the desired effect when he came to a complete halt, searching her face for signs of insincerity. "You really wanna tell me?" he asked when he seemed to find none; taking a deep breath, she nodded, awaiting his verdict.

"Okay," he agreed, nodding seriously, his anger fading as he gave her a tight smile. "Tonight when we make camp, we'll finish this."

Next chapter(s): The truth, and Jack's reaction to it! And Kevin continues to get jealous as he picks up on their relationship...