Thanks for the reviews. They are acting a little like teenagers, but I wanted to keep their relationship alive while they're on the mission, since for me, and a lot of you too, it seems, that's most interesting part... ;)
Chapter 28. The Radio Tower
Charlie had been leaning back beside Sayid, resting his elbows on the console, but he pushed himself into a standing position at the Iraqi's suggestion, apparently intending to go with them.
"It's okay – we got it," Jack told him with an apologetic look when he followed them out into the field, and Kate couldn't help feeling guilty at how cliquey their behaviour must seem. "Someone should stay here with Sayid, in case he needs help."
She expected Charlie to lose his temper at what she was sure he would take as another hint that he was superfluous, but he broke into an impish grin, raising an eyebrow at them. "Oh, I see. Hoping for a little alone time, were we?" he asked knowingly, and Kate stared at the ground as she felt her cheeks turn a brighter shade of pink.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Jack responded innocently, putting on his best poker face. He managed to look and sound pretty convincing; she supposed it came from being a doctor, having uncomfortable, embarrassing even, conversations with strangers on an almost daily basis.
But as good as his acting was, it wasn't good enough. "You're kidding, right?" Charlie asked incredulously. "You two are like Romeo and Juliet without the bloody poison. Don't think I haven't noticed the looks you've been giving each other over the bamboo," he added with a theatrical scowl, though his eyes were still twinkling with merriment. "Frankly, I find it all a bit sickening."
"We're just going to get firewood like Sayid asked," Jack insisted, trying to look exasperated, but he was laughing as he slipped his hand into Kate's.
"If you're not back in an hour, I'll just look for a balcony, shall I?" Charlie called over his shoulder as he headed back towards the radio tower, closing the door behind him.
"You realise half the camp's gonna know as soon as we get back," Kate said as they started down the hill, towards the jungle.
"Would that be so bad?" Jack pressed, eyeing her with a sidelong glance as he tried to read her expression.
"I don't know," she told him honestly, unsure of how she felt when it came to telling people about their relationship. While she hated having to hide, she found herself welcoming the secrecy, because it meant that she could be with Jack without hurting Kevin any more than she already had.
"I guess not," she agreed with a watery smile after pausing for longer than she'd intended, knowing that it was what he wanted to hear, even if she wasn't sure that she really meant it. She didn't want him to think that she was ashamed of him, because that wasn't it. She was ashamed of herself, if anything: ashamed that he actions made her look fickle.
It took them most of the hour to gather enough wood for even a basic fire, because now that they were alone, they couldn't seem to keep their hands off one another long enough to finish the job.
As hard as Kate tried to focus on the task at hand, she was invariably distracted by Jack sneaking up behind her, catching her around the waist as she straightened up from picking up another branch, and before she had a chance to think about what they were supposed to be doing, whatever she'd managed to collect was on the ground, forgotten, and they had to start all over again.
Not that she was complaining.
She could easily say that gathering firewood with Jack was the most fun she'd ever had carrying out such a mundane task. She even found herself wondering what it would be like to live with him in the real world, trying to cook, or wash the dishes, or vacuum the living room with him in such an amorous mood. Kevin had had his moments, but with him, it was always so much more… restrained. With him, she hadn't felt the same desperate need to touch him, or have him touch her, whenever he was near.
They stopped fooling around when the sun was halfway below the horizon, depositing the firewood outside the radio tower before going to check on Sayid.
"I'm afraid the news isn't good," he said, running his fingers through his jet black curls as he turned to them, too distracted to realise how long they'd been gone. "It appears that Danielle was right – whatever is blocking the signal is coming from an external source.
"Someone doesn't want us to get off this island," he added, giving Jack a meaningful look; talking about the French woman's "Others", Kate was sure, "And they're going to great lengths to make sure that we don't."
"So what do we do now?" Jack asked, his expression contorting into a look of almost physical pain, all trace of his earlier playfulness gone. For once, Kate thought he looked his age as he stared at the console, grappling with the urge to put his fist through the controls.
"We go home," Sayid said, and no one spoke as they let the significance of this statement sink in. They were going home, just not to the place that they'd hoped
The mood was sombre that evening as they all tried to adjust to the bleak picture Sayid had painted of their future.
They had crashed off course.
They couldn't get a new signal out.
No one was coming.
For the time being, at least, they were marooned on this island, just like Rousseau.
"What're we going to tell the others?" Charlie asked as they roasted the salted boar meat they'd brought along with them on the fire, though none of them had much of an appetite.
"The truth," Jack told him, but for once, Kate couldn't agree.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked, thinking of how despondent it had made them. The others deserved the truth, but at the moment, she couldn't help thinking that they needed the hope more.
"We can't lie to them," he said bitterly, poking the fire with a stick. "We can't let them sit around waiting for rescue boats that are never gonna come. We need to start figuring out what we're gonna do – how we're gonna survive."
No one suggested that they try to find the source of the jam, though Kate was pretty sure that the idea was weighing heavily on each of their minds; after trekking all the way across the island just to return empty-handed, no one seemed to have the heart.
Sayid and Charlie settled down to sleep soon after dinner, when the conversation had long since tapered off, but Jack continued to stare into the flames for a long time afterwards, brooding on their situation.
"I'm sorry," he said when, seeing that it was her turn to comfort him, Kate scooted over so that their sides were touching, burying her chin in his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"It's not your fault," she told him in earnest, lifting her eyes to meet his.
He gave her a grim smile, but didn't answer, stubbornly clenching his jaw as he tried to keep his emotions in check.
"It's not," she repeated, firmer this time, studying his face for some sign of agreement, some sign that he was prepared to let himself off the hook, but it never came.
When his body remained rigid, she lowered her lips to his shoulder, kissing the skin above his tattoo, before laying her cheek against it. "We're gonna be okay," she told him with as much confidence as she could muster, echoing his words, as she tightened her arms around him, hugging him fiercely.
"I love you," she added so softly that even if the others were awake, only he would be able to hear it, succeeding in cracking his stony exterior, bringing out a tiny smile.
"Not as much as I love you right now," he told her, his eyes bright with affection for her when he turned to her again, reigniting the kiss Sayid had interrupted that afternoon.
He pulled her closer when they broke away, his lips nestled against her hair as she replaced her head on his shoulder. They sat like that for a while, his warm breath tickling her scalp as the tension ebbed away, then, when it was time for them to sleep, she lay down beside him, letting him mould his body to hers, her hands clutching his as they circled her waist, no longer caring who saw them.
Next chapter: Jack and Sayid talk about Kate, and the walk home... ;)
Now that they know they're not getting rescued any time soon, you have to let me know if you want me to keep going (there is more), or wrap it up and start on one of my new ideas...