Thanks for the reviews. Which love triangle? That's a good question when there's at least three: Jack/Kate/Kevin, Kate/Jack/Ana (although this doesn't really count!), and Kate/Kevin/Libby. I meant the central one, though…
Chapter 32. Six Days
Jack was quiet as they sat by the fire that night, and later, when they returned to his tent, but as crushing as Kate knew the blow she'd delivered had been to him, he didn't wallow in his self-pity for long. As soon as it got light, he filled his water bottle and headed back into the jungle, and she went with him, more as a show of solidarity than because she actually believed they'd find Claire.
But as the days wore on, she could tell that he, too, was losing faith: the trail got less distinct with each rainfall, until all they could make out were their own footprints. One by one the others started giving up: Locke and Boone went back to hunting, Ana, Sayid and Kevin stopped coming into the jungle altogether; even Charlie seemed content to sit on the beach and brood. Sometimes Kate wondered if, deep down, Jack would have preferred to do the same, but it was different for him: personal. Claire was his baby sister; though he'd never said as much, she knew that to him, accepting her absence was like failing his father all over again, and that was something he couldn't allow himself to do.
Though she knew it had been more than a week since their return from the radio tower, Kate was so busy trying to keep Jack from falling apart that she didn't realise how much time had passed until Locke told her.
He was sitting in a clearing with Boone, deep in the jungle, talking in a hushed voice, but he stopped when he heard them outside. "You two still out looking for Claire?" he asked, his expression laced with pity as he studied Jack, as if he knew that he was the one who wouldn't let go.
Jack stopped at these words, immediately on the defensive after days of enduring similar statements from Sayid. Ana, Kate was sure, would've agreed with him, had she not suspected the family connection.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack challenged, and Kate put a hand on his shoulder to steady him, but he brushed her off, taking a step towards the older man.
Boone, who had been watching the exchange silently, glanced from Jack to Locke and back again, eyes wide, but Locke didn't seem concerned at how unstable Jack seemed, maintaining his calm demeanour as he said, "Just that it's been two weeks and you're no closer to finding her than you were when you set out. Maybe it's time to try a different approach."
"And what approach would that be, John?" Jack pressed, a hint of sarcasm in his tone, but Kate was stuck on something else he'd said:
Two weeks.
"What date is it?" she asked, her whole body tensing as fear washed over her, and all eyes turned to her, surprised.
"October nineteenth – almost a month since we crashed," Boone told her helpfully, and she felt the colour drain from her face.
The nineteenth. That was at least six days.
She hadn't noticed.
"Is everything okay, Kate?" Jack asked, losing his anger as his brow creased with worry. "You look a little pale."
She didn't know what to tell him, so she just nodded, flashing him a weak smile before running back to the beach to find Libby.
The psychologist was adding an extra flap to her tent, to form a kind of veranda, but she stopped to smile at her when she heard her approach.
"Hey, Kate," she said, "Didn't you go with Jack?" but Kate cut her off, too anxious for small talk.
"I'm late."
Libby pursed her lips in confusion, shaking her head. "Late for what?" she asked with a laugh, misunderstanding, and Kate wondered if she was the right person to be having this conversation with, but there was no one else. "The only appointments you have are these little sessions with me, and they don't seem to be restricted to any particular time of the day."
Normally Kate would have laughed, and apologised for burdening the psychologist with her problems, but at that moment, it was all she could do to keep from bursting into tears. "Six days," she said, swallowing hard, "I think I'm pregnant," and all the mirth went out of Libby's expression as she stared at her, stunned.
Now that she'd said it, it felt real; a wave of nausea washed over her, and for a moment, she had the irrational idea that it was the beginnings of morning sickness.
"Do you have any other symptoms?" Libby asked when she recovered from the shock, licking her lips, looking almost as nervous as Kate felt.
"No," Kate agreed, relaxing. "That's good, right? It means it's just a false alarm?" She felt relief flood through her until Libby shook her head.
"Most women don't experience morning sickness until at least the sixth week, so you might not be that far along," she explained, and Kate felt her heart sink again.
"So what do I do?" she asked, panic rise inside her at the prospect of having to wait that long for an answer. "I can't just sit here until something happens – I'll go out of my mind."
"You could take a test," Libby suggested, looking dubious, even though it was the obvious answer.
"Sure – I'll just go down to the drugstore and get one," Kate agreed sarcastically, feeling bad as soon as the words left her mouth; she was only trying to help, and it couldn't be easy for her, not when there was a chance that Kate was carrying her boyfriend's child.
Of course, if she really was pregnant, then there was an almost equal chance that the baby was Jack's.
"Someone might've had one on the plane," Libby suggested, graciously ignoring Kate's outburst. "Sometimes when people are having trouble conceiving, and they get really depressed about it, I suggest they go away to try. It takes some of the stress off."
"We've already been through the luggage – where would I go to look?" Kate asked, her insides knotting with fear as it occurred to her that the island's one doctor had everything that came under the heading of medical supplies. "I can't ask Jack."
"From what I hear, he's the wrong guy anyway," Libby agreed, and Kate felt sick again as she followed her friend's gaze to where Sawyer, the hick from the fuselage, was sitting outside his tent, obstructing the opening, like a dragon guarding a mountain of treasure.
"You've gotta be kidding me," she murmured, but she had to know, so she took a deep breath and sidled up to him, hoping that he was feeling more generous today than he had been the last time they'd met.
He wasn't.
"Well, well, well, if it ain't our own little adulteress," he said, his eyes travelling over her in an appreciative way that made her want to ram his book down his throat. "You tired of Jacko yet? 'Cause I'd be more than happy to take you off his hands."
"I didn't come here for a cheap thrill," she retorted, losing her resolve to be nice to him in her anger, and he looked slightly miffed that she wasn't more open to the idea.
"What did ya come for?" he asked, seeming to realise that regardless of her personal feelings towards him, he still had the upper hand. He still had something she wanted, even if it wasn't what he wanted himself.
"Your stash – I want to see it," she told him, hoping that she sounded more casual than she felt. She didn't want to have to tell him why; it was none of his business.
Her refusal to be more specific seemed to pique his interest; he smiled at her like the cat that ate the canary, folding his arms as he leaned back in his chair, stubbornly refusing to move. "You're gonna have to give me more than that, Freckles."
"Can't you just let me look?" she asked, her voice rising in exasperation. She wasn't in the mood to play juvenile games; not with everything else that was happening. "I'll give you…" She was going to offer him whatever he wanted, but she realised that, under the circumstances, that probably wasn't the smartest idea.
"You'll give me what?" he pressed, his eyes twinkling, seeming to have guessed what she was going to say.
"Please just… I need to know if you have a pregnancy test," she told him quietly, too desperate to argue with him anymore.
His eyes widened, and he lost his smirk, but he recovered it quickly, coming back in full force. "I guess I should be congratulatin' you then. Who's the father? I'll buy him a cigar."
Jack was right: he was an ass. Kate wanted to slap him, but she didn't. "I'm not even sure there's anything to be a father to," she reminded him, staring down at the sand to hide how red her cheeks were all of a sudden, wishing that he would just hand it over so that she could slink off into the jungle and die of humiliation.
She waited for him to degrade her a little more, but he must have realised that he'd gone too far, striking a nerve, because he disappeared into his tent without a word, returning with a small blue box. "Best of luck to ya," he said, pressing it into her hand, and sinking back into his chair with his book. "Now scram, and don't tell anyone I gave it to you or they'll all be expectin' freebies."
He didn't seem to want a fuss, so she retreated before he could change his mind, trying not to look too conspicuous as she crossed the camp with the box still in her hand.
When she returned from the jungle a few minutes later, Libby had given up on fixing her tent, and was sitting in the sand, staring out to sea with an unhappy look, but she managed a small, strained smile when Kate dropped down beside her, plastic stick in hand.
"The box says it'll take at least three minutes," she told her, more nervous than ever now that the moment of truth was at hand. She wasn't ready to tell Jack, or Kevin, yet, but she wanted someone there in case it was positive, even if she felt guilty for asking. "Do you think you could wait with me?"
"Sure." Libby nodded, squeezing her other hand reassuringly, but for once, being supportive didn't seem to come naturally.
She didn't seem to want to look any more than Kate did when it came time for them to check the results, and when she finally saw the little plus sign that told them that she really was pregnant, her smile was something more akin to a grimace.
I'm cruel, I know. When I started this fic, I was determined to make it completely free of Jabies, Skabies and Kabies(?), and it would've been, but now that I've decided to extend it, I just couldn't resist. There're so many ways I could go with it, since we that know Kevin wants a baby more than anything else in the world, and Jack is reluctant to make a commitment, so of course it would be easy for Kate to go back to Kevin and raise the baby with him regardless…
Next chapter: Kate and Libby discuss paternity, and one of the potential fathers finds out… ;)