Thanks for the reviews. This probably counts as a spoiler, but if it keeps people reading, I can promise you now that Kate's baby is absolutely one hundred per cent a Jaby, hence the complicated maths. That's one of the reasons I mentioned Juliet, because she's the one person on the island who could clear that up. (And don't worry, I'm not going to complicate things by creating another triangle -- I doubt that she and Jack will even meet.) When I said Kate's pregnancy would complicate the triangle, I meant in terms of emotions... ;)
Oh, and I've been working on a fic with SassieLostie, based on the Dark Phoenix storyline from X-Men 3, so be sure to check that out when the first chapter appears in the next day or so. It's called "Pale Reflection" and we're very excited about it...
Chapter 34. Drawing A Blank
"Claire?" was all Kate could say as she stared at the younger woman in shock, but as confused as she was, this was nothing compared to the bewilderment Claire seemed to be feeling.
"Who are you?" she asked, wrapping her arms protectively around herself, looking so small and scared that Kate's heart went out to her. She couldn't even begin to imagine what she must have been through during the two weeks she'd been missing.
"I'm Kate, remember?" she supplied gently, adding, when Claire didn't look any less afraid of her, "We met the day after the crash – you thought I was Jack's wife." It seemed almost funny now, under the circumstances, but she was too emotionally spent to manage more than a wry smile.
Claire shook her head vigorously, fighting back tears. "Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?" she said, and Kate felt her heart sink. They hadn't been the best of friends, but Claire should remember her, and, more importantly, Jack. He was her hero: if they'd grown up together, Kate could see her following him around, shadowing his every move.
"No, it's okay. Just relax, okay?" she said quickly, afraid of distressing her any more than she already had. The last thing she wanted was to have to deliver a baby in the middle of the jungle, especially while she was still coming to terms with her own newly discovered pregnancy. "We have to get you back to the beach."
She took a tentative step towards her, but Claire jumped back, tensing as if preparing to run. "No," she said firmly, like a child refusing to accept a ride from a stranger, but her voice was quivering with fear. "I'm not going anywhere with you."
Up until that point, Kate had managed to keep herself together, but she felt herself panicking then. "Claire, please," she begged, exasperated. "I'm not gonna hurt you. I just need you to come with me so that Jack can check you out."
When Claire let out a muffled whimper, she explained hastily, realising how ominous this sounded, "He's a doctor – he can make sure there's nothing wrong with you or your baby." She wanted to tell her that he was her brother, that he'd take care of her, but she figured Claire was having enough of an identity crisis without her dropping that bombshell on her.
The younger woman still didn't look too convinced, but she crept closer on hearing these words, allowing Kate to support her as they made their way back to the beach.
Jack wasn't back yet, so taking her the long way to avoid attracting the attention of the other survivors, which was sure to overwhelm her, she steered her over to Libby's tent, helping her sit down on a pile of airplane cushions.
"Libby's a friend too," she assured her, squeezing her shoulder, and flashing her a warm smile to let her know that she had nothing to worry about. "She's gonna keep you company until I get back."
"She doesn't remember anything," she told the stunned psychologist, striding back into the jungle before she could press her for details. "Maybe you can help her."
She could hear Libby talking to Claire in her soothing therapist's voice, but she didn't stop to listen, crashing back through the trees to the place where she'd left Jack.
He was on his way back; he looked startled when she burst out of the undergrowth in front of him, surprised to see her so soon after she'd taken off.
"Do you wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked, his voice laced with a mixture of concern and impatience, as she doubled over, trying to recover her breath.
The blood was roaring in her ears; she felt like she was going to pass out, though whether this was due to her pregnancy, or the fact that she'd just run all that way, she wasn't sure. "It's Claire," she managed to choke out between gasps. "She's back."
At first, she wasn't sure that he'd understood her, but then his eyes brightened, and he seemed to forget everything else. "When? How?" he asked, laughing. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him so happy.
"I found her… in the jungle… just now," she explained, hoping that he wouldn't ask her what she was doing there.
He didn't, but instead of being relieved, she felt strangely disappointed. It would have given her an opening. "Is she okay?" he pressed.
"I think so," she agreed, choosing her words carefully. "She's not hurt or anything, but Jack? I think They did something to her memory."
The smile slid from his face then. "What do you mean?" he asked sharply, and she licked her lips, swallowing before continuing, "She doesn't remember who we are."
He was silent on the way back, stopping impatiently while he waited for her catch up, and she wasn't sure he believed her, until Claire greeted him with a similarly blank look.
"You're the doctor?" she asked, and Kate saw his face fall, but he recovered with a weak smile.
"I'm Jack," he said, the words loaded with hidden meaning, as if they could somehow communicate to her everything he was feeling. Everything he wanted her to feel too. "I don't know if you remember, but I saved your life the day of the crash."
She shook her head, offering him a sympathetic smile, and he nodded, glancing down at the sand. "That's okay," he said, his voice coming out hollow in his disappointment. "It's not important – what's important is that you're home and you're safe."
"What is this place?" she asked, not looking at all at home as she glanced from him to myriad of tents scattered across the beach. "Libby said we're on an island?"
"That's right," he agreed, grinning, relaxing now that he was connecting with her, even if it wasn't on the level Kate knew he would have liked.
"Weren't they all discovered years ago?" She wrinkled her nose, looking sceptical, and Jack laughed, shrugging in response.
"That's what I thought too."
Jack seemed to have forgotten about her, so leaving him to get reacquainted with Claire, Kate wandered over to her own tent, curling up on her makeshift mattress. While she was glad that he wouldn't miss out on the chance to get to know his little sister, a selfish part of her wished that Claire had stayed missing just a little longer. She couldn't have come back at a worse time: as much as Kate craved reassurance that Jack would be there for her, she couldn't dump the news of their baby on him while he was still so worried about Claire's.
She must have drifted off to sleep while debating whether or not she should still tell him, because the next thing she knew, it was dark, and he was leaning over her, cupping her cheek in his palm as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
"You missed dinner, so I brought you something to eat," he said when he saw that she was awake, gesturing to the plate he'd set on the bed beside her, but she shook her head, depositing it on top of her luggage in the corner.
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry," she told him, feeling guilty, knowing what he'd say if he knew, but she was too anxious to keep anything down. "Where's Claire?" she asked, mostly to distract him, when he looked like he was going to argue.
"Asleep." Giving up, he flopped down on his back beside her. "She's had a long day."
Me too, she wanted to tell him, but instead, she asked, "Did you get a chance to examine her?"
"Yeah. Aside from the memory loss, which Libby thinks will wear off, she seems fine. The baby too," he added, grinning at her, awed. "I can't believe I'm going to be an uncle."
"I'm sure you'll make a great one," she agreed, almost mechanically, wondering if he would be that excited about their own child: about being a father. It was one thing to breeze in on birthdays and holidays, but did he really want to do that full time: All the diapers and crying and nights without sleep? And more importantly, did he really want to do that with her?
He seemed to sense her strange mood, because he propped himself up one elbow, studying her seriously as he said, "I never go the chance to ask you – what was all that stuff in the jungle about it being the nineteenth of October? Does that mean something to you?"
She knew she could have told him then, that she should have told him, but she couldn't find the words. "It was my mom's birthday," she lied, deciding that it was better to wait until he wasn't so distracted anyway. That way he could give the situation the attention it deserved. "I guess I still get depressed."
He settled back against the cushions, pulling her closer, seemingly relieved that it wasn't anything more serious. "I know that feeling," he said, stroking her hair as she curled into his side with her head on his shoulder. "My dad hasn't even been gone that long, and already, I can't imagine never seeing him again. I still feel like he's at home with my mom, waiting for news."
He kissed her again, letting his lips linger against her temple, before laying his head back down on top of hers. "I thought I was being punished for something when he died," he confessed after a beat, his voice breaking, and she felt him swallow hard. "For not being a better son. But then I met you, and Claire, and somehow, that made me think there was another reason behind it, even if I'm not sure I'll ever fully understand it.
"You gave me something to look forward to during some of the worst days of my life," he finished, his eyes shining with tears, and she felt her own throat close up, "So if you ever want to talk about your mom…"
He trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence unsaid, but she knew what he was trying to tell her. He wanted to take care of her, the way she'd taken care of him, and for now, that was enough.
"I love you," she told him, lifting her face to his, knowing that he couldn't possibly understand what it meant to her to hear him say it at that moment.
"I love you too," he agreed, and she drifted back to sleep in his arms, secure in the knowledge that whenever she was ready to tell him, he would be there to support her.
Okay, you're probably all annoyed at me for that, but one, I've figured out the perfect moment for her to tell him, and two, it wouldn't be called "Secrets and Lies" if there weren't any secrets or lies... ;)
Next chapter: Libby helps Claire recover her repressed memories, and they learn the reason behind her abduction... ;)