A/n: YES! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!! This is the best migrane ever! I mean...well, okay, so, I got this migrane, which kind of set me off in a rather...eheh, unpleasent kinda way, yeah...so, because of that, I got a ride home, and Mom's at work and said I could use my laptop a little (presumably to pass the time/keep me from rampaging again), which was enough time for me to finish chapter...the last one (whichever that is), and transfer it to the desktop, so I can now post it all! YEAH!

Mmmkay. You know the drill, but I'm doing it anyway because I won't have to say it much more anyway. Kai would be better known within fandom as Blue or Hana or That girl in Akatsuki with the blue hair and the flower in her hair and...the second-most feminine after Deidara...I mean...
Yeah. And I know her name is now known to be Konan, but I didn't know that at the time, and, honestly, Kai sounds a lot more fitting than Blue. And I'm apparently pretty good with Japanese or something because nobody's told me otherwise yet, but I'd still like to mention that I never said that I'm fully confident in my abilities to use it.

Sorry for the shortness and stupid-filler-blahdiblahblah-ness of this chapter, I think I had a little bit of Writer's Block or something...The next one will be up...meh, later. Or sooner. I'll aim for sooner.

Dude...I absolutely morhed Pein from this evil, cool, evil, awesome, collected, and evil kinda leader into this kinda thrown-together leader...like Malcolm Reynolds...haha, Pein is Captain Tight Pants...Captain Tight Pein? Hrmmmm...nine out of ten, nobody knows what the hell I'm talking about.

To the fans: Thanks to: Wyvren Wing, uchiha fan gurl, yuki takahashi, Thintellumaien, mooneasterbunny, Careless Whisperer, Errol the flying evil thing, Dukesamcules, cold hearted girl, Daemon-In-White, Insane lady of doom, Werewulf girl, LUIGAA, Shi.no.Tenshi.desu, darkmoonphase, Martial artist-Mariko, because, well...hmmm...well, yeah, it really is good motivation. Thanks for acknowledging my existance.

Warnings: Uhhh...yeah. Language and sexual interpretations and...stuff, yeah. And the guy-on-guy-age. And, to answer your question, Shi.no.Tenchi.desu, yes, that's the intention.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto...I'd be getting into DragonCon for free and so would all of my friends, and we'd fly first-class there and back and I'd have this kicking Zetsu costume or something and ladidadida, but I don't, so I'm scraping up money to spend there and it's just my family and we have to drive twelve hours and I'm stuck with this Kiba costume that's not terribly great and not even done yet...hehe, yeah. I don't own Naruto.

Upon arriving in the kitchen the next morning, Pein immediately regretted allowing Hidan to stay in there alone; it looked like a hurricane had come through with a tornado that had previously picked up an angry gorilla and dropped that in the room, along with all of Oz, who, in fear of the sudden scenery change, began destroying everything on sight before another tornado came to pick them up and bring them home in time to save them from the stampede of rabid elephants being ridden by banana-high monkeys.

Okay. Maybe it wasn't that bad. But it was pretty damned close, and the kitchen was still in no condition to be the place for breakfast.

Thankfully, Pein was always the first to breakfast, and thus the other members would never have to see it if he just warned them beforehand. All this meant was a relocation of breakfast. The question was, where? The kitchen was used as a dining area mostly because it was the largest room in the house, and thus the only room in the house that was knowledgeably and comfortably big enough to house all ten members at once. It was also the only room that wasn't a bedroom, bathroom, or laundry room, or something else to that extent. Everywhere was either someone's private space or painfully obviously not big enough for them all. This could be an issue.

Hidan was absolutely paying for this damage. Or fixing it himself. No, Hidan was definitely going to buy the supplies from his own money, and then fix it himself. With Kai's supervision, because Pein knew far too well that Hidan would absolutely do a horrid job if he wasn't carefully directed.

Turning his thoughts back to housing today's meal, Pein ran off a list of the rooms in the house. Downstairs, there was the entrance hall, about two feet wide, a closet, the kitchen, and the laundry room. It was a rather large closet, though, so maybe…okay, no. Maybe if they took out all of the robes and cloaks and jackets and scarves and gloves and large pointed weapons and assorted chocolates and shoes and oh-my-god-did-that-thing-just-moves, there would be enough room for more people than just Sasori and Deidara, who would only fit because they didn't seem to have special issues with each other (cough cough). More people as in Itachi and maybe Tobi, neither of which took up much room in comparison to, say, Zetsu.

Pein proceeded up the stairs to continue his investigation. Of course, the top floor consisted of four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and the master bedroom, residence of himself and Kai, which had a third bathroom, but honestly, that didn't matter, because they weren't going to eat in his bathroom. Oh dear god no, they weren't. He was still wondering if he'd let them so much as glance into his bathroom when—I mean, if all the hidden villages were after them and the only way for Akatsuki to survive would be to pile up in Pein's bathroom. Why on earth that would happen, Pein prayed he'd never have to know, but that's beside the point—they were not having breakfast in Pein's bathroom.

The hallway was tiny. It was about three millimeters wider than the entrance hallway. Three millimeters. That's not a lot. Why Pein even considered it a difference, he'd never know. Sure, it was twice as long, and thus technically capable of having all of Akatsuki gathered within it at once, but that was standing, rather than sitting at a table with enough room to eat.

The only other room that might have enough space for Akatsuki would be…the second-largest room, he supposed…which was…

'Oh dear,' Pein thought worriedly. The second largest room in the house was his own.

He tried to think of some other way he could have breakfast without using his room, but none came to him. Trying to think of some kind of excuse, he wondered desperately, 'What would Kai say? Yeah, that's right—she'd never approve, would…she?' He immediately realized that, considering her recent approval of Tobi's family, she would most definitely approve. Besides, she'd be having breakfast in bed.

Pein sighed. 'This is going to be a very long breakfast…'

Let's keep track of the timeline right here:

Day 1: Pein becomes father (Otousama)
Day 2: Kai becomes mother (Okaachan)
Day 3: Kakuzu becomes grandfather (Ojiisan), Hidan becomes grandmother (Obaasan)
Day 4: Zetsu becomes uncles (Ojisans), Kisame becomes aunt (Obasan)
Day 5: Tobi explains a few things.
Day 6: Sasori becomes brother (Oniichan), Deidara becomes sister (Oneechan)
Day 7: Pein takes entirely too long to find a new place to eat breakfast.

Yeah. So that chapter was a total waste of time and space and blahdiblahblah. Too bad. The next chapter...yeah. Honestly, I'm not even sure where the plot went after this. And I'm sorry that all my ramblings are taking up more space than the story itself.

Also, a preview of next chapter!
Nobody ever said the day was over...nor did anyone ever say that Akatsuki knew Pein and Kai's names. Tensions from Tobi's namings may be at an all-time low, but since when was that the only cause?