Sorry to leave you all hanging like that -- after I posted the last chapter, I decided to go visit my brother and his girlfriend, kind of a spurr of the moment thing, so I haven't had time to write. I don't know when I'll get to update again -- hopefully before the end of the week.

This is probably going to incite a few flames, but for the record, while I was kidding about Kate and Kevin getting back together, he will be around (and probably jealous), because, as the summary suggests, he's an integral part of this fic. I have altered my plan to avoid alientating those of you who are sick of the love triangle, but to resolve it, I'd have to end it, and I don't think you want that, not when I've still got some interesting things planned... ;)

Chapter 41. Confessions

"What are you saying?" Claire asked, losing her disgruntled look in favour of one of confused disbelief. "My father was your father? You mean he's not anymore?"

"No," Jack agreed, looking wary, as if he couldn't deal with his grief, or Claire's, after Ethan. "He died in Sydney. That's why I was on the plane – I was taking his body back to L.A."

Clearly, Kate thought, it was too much for her to take in; opening her mouth, then closing it again, Claire sank onto a piece of wreckage, staring down at Aaron as she considered the implications of what he'd just told her. "If your father was my father, then that makes you my…"

"Half brother," Jack finished for her, and she turned her attention back on him, surveying him as if seeing him for the first time.

"I knew he had another family, but I never really thought about it," she confessed, and Jack tore his eyes away from hers, looking guilty, as he stared out towards the ocean. "I guess I didn't want to know."

"Finding out my dad had an affair hasn't been a picnic for me either," he agreed, offering her a tiny, genuine smile as he added, "but you know what Claire? I'm not sorry he did, because it means I've got a sister and a nephew here, and that's more than most people have." He glanced over at Kate, squeezing her hand, to let her know that he was just as grateful to his father for bringing her into his life, her and their future son or daughter.

Returning his smile, she couldn't help noting how much the actions of a man she would never meet had altered the course of her own life, and countless others'. If Christian hadn't gone to Australia to make amends with his daughter, then Jack would have stayed in the U.S., and in all likelihood, he and Kate would never have met. She would have been reunited with Kevin once the two groups collided and the baby she was carrying would have been his. It would have been easier, at least in the short term; she could have gone on pretending, without having to hurt anyone, but it would have been a lie…

She was rallied out of her thoughts when Claire's voice rose shrilly, as an unpleasant idea occurred to her. "So when you… killed… Ethan, that wasn't just about Kate… that was about Aaron and I as well?"

Jack's hand went slack in Kate's, and he slipped it free, as he averted his gaze, seemingly afraid that Claire wouldn't see it the way he did, that she would be as disgusted by him as he'd expected Kate to be.

"It wasn't just about Kate," he admitted softly, his expression earnest, "but it wasn't just about you either. I know if he was… alive, he'd want me to take care of you too – you and Aaron." He licked his lips, looking less sure of himself as he went on, "He spent my whole life grooming me, forcing me to grow up and be a man, a better man than he was – what else would he want me to do with that than succeed at the one thing he never had the guts for?"

Claire was nodding as she listened to him pouring his heart out to her, too overwhelmed to respond; Kate could see the tears shining in her eyes when she asked, hesitating, as if afraid of the answer, "What was he like? Christian? Our dad?"

"He was a lousy father," Jack began after a moment's deliberation, trying to be honest, but fair so that Claire would know him as he had, "but he tried. I think he wanted the same things most parents want for their kids, he just didn't know how to show it…"

Taking this as her cue to leave them, Kate pushed herself to her feet, letting their voices recede into the background as she wandered down to the water. Stepping into the surf, she closed her eyes, her hand drifting experimentally to the skin where her jeans didn't quite meet her shirt as she let the waves, and the breeze wash over her, until a voice at her ear made her tense.

"We need to talk."

"No, Kevin, we don't," she argued, the gentleness in his tone, and in his eyes when she looked at him, wrenching her heart. Why couldn't he be a pig like Wayne? If he'd beaten her, or treated her like a dog, she could have left him without looking back, even if she was certain that the baby was his.

"Then I'll talk, because I need to ask you something," he insisted, still in the same husky murmur, and she sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to give up until she let him finish.

"So ask," she agreed, trying her best not to let him see that he was getting to her. She didn't want him to get his hopes up again, not when it looked like his relationship with Libby was progressing. He needed to let go, and so did she. "You're going to whether I like it or not, so why don't we just get it over with?"

He looked taken aback by this, but he inhaled and pushed on, determined to get a straight answer this time. "If you're so sure the baby's Jack's, why'd it take you two days to tell him you were pregnant?"

She wasn't sure if Jack and Claire were ready for their relationship to become common knowledge, and she didn't want to reopen old wounds by reminding him that she and Jack hadn't been together that long, so she decided that his reaction spoke volumes. "Because I knew he'd freak out," she explained, and he brightened, until she added, "You saw what he did to Ethan. No matter how much he wanted it, he was never gonna be thrilled, not after what happened to Claire."

His whole demeanour changed, and he swallowed, setting his jaw; she was sure that he was going to try a different tactic, to accuse Jack of being unstable, or unfit, but instead, he said, "I froze," his eyes dark with suppressed torment.

"What do you mean, "You froze"?" she asked, confused, wondering if he was referring to the conversation they'd had the day she found out that she was pregnant, when she'd run from him, and he hadn't come after her.

"Ethan," he explained miserably, silently begging her forgiveness for what he was about to confess. "I had him, in the jungle, but I froze. I let him go. I wish I could say I would've killed him to keep you safe – you and the baby – but I didn't. I couldn't. I let him do it – Jack."

He was close to tears, ashamed and guilty, probably for the first time in his life, at being the nice guy, the nicer guy. "I'm so sorry, Kate. If that was my kid, and something happened to you… I'm not even sure I deserve to be a father – not in a place like this," he finished bitterly, shaking his head.

She wasn't sure what she was going to say, but when she opened her mouth to comfort him, reaching instinctively for his arm, he jerked it away, disappearing into the darkness between fires, and from the race, it seemed, for good.

Next chapter: I'm tying up loose ends at the moment so that I can skip ahead to later in Kate's pregnancy (I think I mentioned Juliet!), so if there's anything you think I should address, let me know... ;)