Disclaimer: Everything belongs to The Marvel Universe except for my character Julie – she is my own creations and is not meant to resemble anyone else's OCs in any way.
A/N: OMG, you all. I was so nervous after I posted the last chapter! I was just waiting for the blowback. You guys have no idea how many times I went back and forth about whether or not I should just delete the attack scene altogether. So thank you to everyone who reviewed, you all have given me encouragement to keep going with my gut! Also, as a total aside, I was planning on it being Slick (Ricardo) the entire time up until I actually sat down to write and then suddenly it just made more sense to bring in Adam.
Anyhoo…after something so dark and dreary, I hope you all REALLY enjoy this chapter and thank me with some amazing reviews! :D
Chapter 15: Broken
No. Bucky thought. This isn't how lust feels. Lust isn't the same as l—
For a moment he stopped breathing as the revelation crashed down on him. He was in love with Julie. He felt a panic flood his system and he was overcome with an urge to jump up and flee. But he couldn't. He was trapped underneath her. So instead he closed his eyes and willed himself to take several deep breaths, letting them out slowly, just as he did during a panic attack.
He swallowed thickly and looked down at her sleeping form. He tried to memorize the feel of her pressed against him, the smell of her hair, the way her eyelashes fluttered as she dreamed and the way her lips parted ever so slightly. Bucky's arm tightened around her briefly. He knew in his heart that this opportunity would not come again. There was no question about it now, Julie saw him as nothing more than a good friend. He felt his heart ache at the thought that he would never be more to her.
He glanced at the clock as the numbers changed from 3:59am to 4:00am. The last thought that Bucky had was that he couldn't keep torturing himself like this, he couldn't allow the last vestiges of his heart to be torn to shreds. Then he fell into a fitful sleep.
…
He was laying strapped to the table as a horrific pain burst through his shoulder. His voice was hoarse and his mouth dry. His lips parted to scream but no sound came out, his vocal cords having given up a long time ago.
No more, please, no more. Please stop…
His head thrashed weakly back and forth as Zola continued to work on attaching his nerve and muscle endings to the new metal arm. He grabbed an electrode nerve conductor and pressed it to Bucky's shoulder, testing his handiwork. A painful shock jolted through him, ripping out a final scream.
NOOOOO!
…
Bucky sat up, panting heavily. His body was drenched in sweat and his face wet with tears. He ran a shaky hand over his face. He jerked from fright when he felt hands running through his hair. Spinning around he found Julie seated directly beside him, her face creased with worry.
"You're ok," she said softly. "It was just a nightmare."
He turned away from her, embarrassed and shaking.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He put his head in is hand and shook his head.
"They're not nightmares," he rasped out quietly. "They're memories."
Julie's stomach knotted. She wanted to reach out for him but she wasn't sure if he wanted to be touched just then.
"Bucky, I-I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that. And I'm sorry you're reliving it in your dreams."
He lifted his head and turned slightly to look at her. His expression quickly changing from surprise to remorse. He spun his body all the way around to face Julie.
"Shit. Your face is really swollen. You should have iced it more last night."
Dainty fingers slowly lifted and palpated. She grimaced.
"I'm afraid to look in the mirror," Julie admitted.
"You wouldn't let me take you to the hospital, but what are you going to do when you show up to work looking like that?"
"I've already thought about that. I have a few weeks of vacation saved up that rolled over from last year. I think I'm just going to call in for a week or two. Just tell them I had a family emergency."
"But…and don't take this the wrong way, but…you don't have any family."
"Well they don't know that."
"Not even that other ER doc that you dated?"
Julie blinked a few times.
"No," she said slowly. "I never told him. I guess it just didn't come up."
She scrunched her brows up as she wracked her brain trying to make sure that statement was accurate. It made her realize, more than ever, how wrong they had been together. Never, in all the time that they'd gone out, had the subject of her family — her parents— ever come up.
How is that possible?
"That's…unexpected."
Julie blinked up at him, surprised herself, "Yeah."
"Ok. Well I guess that's not a bad idea. But you probably should tell Sarah."
"I know. I will."
"Oh no…"
"What's wrong?"
"We never put my clothes in the dryer!"
Julie laughed, "Don't worry. I did that this morning. It's already done."
"This morning?"
Bucky looked over at the clock. It flickered bright red numbers that said 12:03pm.
"Well damn. I'm sorry. I never sleep like this. I'm usually lucky if I get six hours. How long have you been up?"
"I woke up at 9. Couldn't go back to sleep."
He examined her face and the tired bags under her eyes. He wanted to reach out and hold her or say something comforting, but he came up with nothing. She let out a loud exhale and slipped off the bed. Bucky's eyes followed her out of the room. She emerged a moment later holding his clothes in a neatly folded pile.
"Here."
"Thanks."
"I'll be in the kitchen."
He dressed quickly and came out to find Julie sitting on one of the barstools with coffee in hand. Watson meowed a good morning greeting from the couch.
"Do you want any coffee?"
Yes.
"No. I think I should head on out. I need to get my stuff from the gym."
"Oh, ok."
He looked at her disappointed face and desperately wanted to tell her he'd changed his mind. He would stay and have coffee with her. Breakfast, even, if she wanted. Hell, he'd stay the entire day if she'd ask. But he couldn't. The gnawing pain in his heart wouldn't allow him to.
"Call me if you need anything."
"Yeah, sure. And…thanks again Bucky."
He nodded at her over his shoulder, then disappeared out the door. Julie finished her coffee alone in solemn silence. Finally deciding to face the music she walked into the bathroom and actually turned to the mirror. The sight that met her was gruesome. There was a little dried blood around her laceration, her left cheek was swollen purple, and deep bags hung under her eyes. She let out a pathetic sigh and grabbed her phone. After a brief, but convincing conversation with her manager she hung up and got into the shower.
…
It was past dinner time, but Julie wasn't hungry. She'd spent the majority of the day laying around basically doing nothing as she suddenly found herself on an unexpected two week vacation. Julie had no idea what to do with herself. She didn't actually want to go anywhere, Sarah and Sam were still going to be gone for a few more weeks, and Bucky had left not 12 hours ago so she couldn't call him back. Letting out an exasperated sigh she threw herself down on the couch, legs hanging over its arm. Her hands rested on her stomach as an uneasy feeling settled deep within.
Bucky had been weird this morning.
Regret suddenly washed over her. She shouldn't have asked him to stay as it had obviously made him uncomfortable. But it was too late now, what was done was done and she couldn't take it back. She finally took out her phone and sat upright on the couch. Flipping through her contacts she found Sarah's name and punched the button. It rang three times and right when she thought she'd have to leave a message Sarah picked up.
*Julie! How's everything going back home?*
Julie heard the typical chaos that came with grandparents around their grandkids in the background.
"Sarah…I have to tell you something. But don't freak out. I'm ok…ish."
*Oh my God. What happened? What's going on?*
Sarah must have walked into another room, or outside maybe, as the background noise faded away until only silence remained. Julie took in a deep breath.
"Adam decided to pay me a visit."
*WHAT?! When?! What did he do?!*
Julie's stomach twisted as a fresh wave of nausea hit her. She didn't want to recount the events from last night. But she needed to tell Sarah. So she told her what happened without getting into too many details. Everything from drinking at the bar alone, to the attack, to Bucky's out of control rescue, to the police station. She hesitated briefly at the end, not sure she wanted to tell Sarah about the sleepover.
Why do I feel so weird about it? Nothing happened. It was totally innocent.
She finally decided to skip over that part entirely and ended lamely with a "then Bucky left." There were a lot of sounds and noises coming from Sarah's end throughout the story. She was clearly bursting to say something but had been waiting as patiently as she could.
*OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ADAM?! NEVER…I NEVER thought he would stoop so low. I wasn't exactly a fan of his to begin with. You know that. But I didn't think he was capable of something like this. Thank God for Bucky and his insomniac habits! Julie are you sure you're ok? Do you want to come home? I can leave Sam with boys and catch a flight tonight.*
"No, please don't do that. I appreciate the thought but I don't want to take you away from family. I'm ok. A little shaken up and beaten up. But ok."
*Ok, but if you change your mind, let me know.*
"Definitely."
*Is this something you want me to tell Sam about?*
"Go for it. You two are my family. I'm not trying to hide anything from either one of you. Now work…is another story. I ended up using all my rolled over PTO for an unexpected 2 week vacation. Told them I had an emergency I had to go take care of."
*That's not a bad idea actually. Think things will be healed up enough by then?*
"Probably enough for me to hide it with some makeup. Anyway, I didn't sleep well last night and I'm starting to get tired. I think I'm going to go. But I just wanted to let you know what happened."
*Yeah ok. Get some rest. Love you Jules.*
"Love you too Sarah."
…
Wednesday afternoon Bucky found himself seated in his usual spot on Dr. Raynor's couch. They had finally moved back to one per week sessions and he was usually grateful for the reprieve. But today was different. Today he was itching to talk to her. There was something that was bothering him, niggling in the back of his mind and setting him on edge.
"So how have you been James? Anything come up that you want to talk about since last time?"
"Actually, yes."
Dr. Raynor sat up straight. In all the time she had been with Sergeant James Barnes he had never, not once, offered up anything without her having to pry it out of him. Getting James to talk was usually like pulling teeth.
"Go on."
She watched him swallow hard and fidget with his fingers. His forearms rested on his knees and he looked up at her cautiously.
"There was…an incident this weekend. With Julie."
Her heart sped up uncomfortably in her chest. The way he said it left a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. She fought the urge to say anything, instead giving him the space to collect his thoughts. She knew if she came at him too strong he would shut down. But at that moment she wanted to throttle it out of him.
What the hell happened?!
Bucky interlaced his fingers and pressed his mouth against them. Then he proceeded to tell Dr. Raynor about the events from several nights prior. He wasn't planning on telling her about sleeping over, but once the words started pouring out of him, he couldn't stop. To her credit, she managed to sit quiet and attentive the entire time, not interrupting him once. Not even making a single sound as she listened intently.
"Wow," she finally said once Bucky had finished. "That's a lot."
There was a long pause as she studied his face.
"How are you feeling now?"
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair in aggravation.
"I'm…pissed. Aggravated. Angry with myself…confused."
He stood up and walked over to the window. Hands resting on the ledge he hung his head.
"Ok. Let's start with why you're angry with yourself. You did good James."
"Not good enough. I hesitated."
Bewilderment etched lines into Dr. Raynor's face. She waited for him to continue but he remained silent.
"I don't understand."
He pressed his hands further into the wood and rocked back and forth slightly.
"I saw her walk by and I wanted to go after her. My gut told me something was off. But I didn't follow my instincts. I waited. I hesitated. I should know better than that by now. If I'd gone after her right away none of this would have happened."
"First of all, it may not have happened that night, but it sounds to me like Adam was determined. So it's likely this would have come at some point or another. At least this way you were there. Now, if you felt it so strongly, why did you ignore your instincts? You're right. You've been trained to be able to go off intuition alone. It's literally saved your life before. So why ignore it now?"
Metal and flesh fingers dug into the ledge with a force that caused the wood to creak.
"James. Let go of the window ledge. Come sit back down."
He took a few deep breaths in quick succession and let go, straightening up to gaze out of the window. But he did not return to the couch.
"Because it wasn't my place," he began quietly. "I am no one to her. A mere friend who has been hanging around too much. If she'd wanted me there she could have called me. She knows that. But she chose to walk home alone instead. I just can't get a read on her. Sometimes I think she…but then all she keeps talking about is what good friends we are."
Bucky finally walked back over to her and threw himself down heavily on the couch. Arms outstretched on the backrest, he tilted his head backwards until it hit the couch and stared up at the ceiling.
"I'm worried about her," he admitted. "She keeps saying she's ok and she's fine. But I look in her eyes and I see the fear and pain there. I know that feeling."
He brought his head up and leaned forward, looking at his left arm. His metal fingers clenched and unclenched as his mind briefly drifted elsewhere.
"I know what's it's like to have your body torn apart against your will. To have someone do something to you when you're powerless to stop it. I know how much that can affect you."
He continued to stare down at his hand as his sensitive ears picked up the breath that escaped the therapist's lips. She shuffled some papers, then her outstretched hand appeared in his view.
"Here. Although I typically work with veterans, I can talk to her. If she wants to."
Bucky continued to stare at the proffered business card.
"Take it James."
Hesitant fingers reached out. He grabbed the card and slipped it into his pocket. His gaze landed on a random spot on the carpet, staring unseeing at the calm blue and white pattern.
"So. Let's, just for a moment, cut through all the bullshit. Be honest with me now. Do you have feelings for her James?"
Tortured blue orbs slowly lifted and locked with curious green ones. They stared at each other for a moment, neither one blinking. Then the corner of Dr. Raynor's mouth hitched up in a rare half smile.
…
The next few weeks for Bucky passed in a mixed blur of short missions, trips to the gym, late night (or early morning) jogs, and dinners alone. Things between him and Julie had taken an awkward and uncomfortable turn. He wasn't necessarily avoiding her, but now that he firmly knew where he stood he found it difficult to be in her presence. She too seemed to desires some distance as her texts were suddenly far and few between. He carried the therapist's card with him constantly, but as they had yet to actually see each other since that morning, he had not given it to her. Truthfully, he wasn't even sure he would. How do you bring something like that up? He growled in frustration and parked the benchpress weights in their home.
"Hey Barnes. How's it going man?"
Jackson seated himself on the bench beside the super soldier and grabbed a dumbbell.
"Just great," Bucky ground out.
Not picking up on the hostility in his voice, Jackson continued their small talk.
"So um. Any idea when Sarah is getting back?"
Bucky blinked a few times, his mood shifting and a sly smile appeared on his face.
"You haven't asked her yourself?"
Jackson huffed as he continued his bicep curls.
"I don't want to be too clingy. You know?"
Bucky laughed, "Some time tonight. I'm sure Sam and I can take care of the boys if you have some plans in mind."
He arched an eyebrow at the flustered look on his friend's face.
"I mean, I didn't really have any definite plans or anything. But if you're offering…"
"I'm offering. Go ahead and message her. Make some definite plans."
Jackson grinned, "Thanks Bucky."
…
Julie switched from Half Pigeon to Downward Dog, her mind barely registering the yoga teacher's instructions. Sarah was finally coming home tonight. She had promised her some one on one time for breakfast tomorrow and Julie couldn't wait. The past few weeks her stomach seemed to be twisted in a constant knot of dread and anxiety. She both wanted to see Bucky and run in the opposite direction every time she thought she glimpsed him. They hadn't seen each other since the morning after her attack and had texted very seldomly. She could tell she had overstepped by asking him to stay the night and he clearly needed some space.
In Warrior 1 pose now, she reached her arms up high, trying to ease the tension that seemed to have taken over every muscle fiber in her body. If she took a moment to actually examine the situation, she could admit to herself that she missed him terribly. She missed the way his eyes sparkled when he called her 'doll', the way his mouth quirked up in a barely suppressed smile when he teased her, she missed watching ridiculous rom-coms with him, the way they talked about everything and nothing, she missed the way her body felt pressed up against him when he held her. Her heart clenched.
Maybe now that Sarah and Sam are coming back we'll be around each other again and I can fix this.
…
A soft knock sounded on Julie's door. She ran over and flung it open, nearly throwing herself at Sarah. Her friend let out a surprised shriek and began to laugh.
"I guess you missed me a bit, huh?"
"You have no idea! Now come on in. I'm starving!"
"Ohhh I see. That's why you missed me!"
Julie rolled her eyes as she helped Sarah set everything out on the coffee table. She unscrewed their take-out mimosas and handed one to her best friend. Sarah studied Julie's face for a few minutes.
"It's looking much better. You can definitely hide that with some good makeup."
"Yeah, thank God. I'm going back to work tomorrow."
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I just want to forget about everything."
"Any word from the cops?"
Julie let out a deep breath, "Yeah. They picked both guys up. Turns out Adam was in violation of his parole. As far as I can tell, all evidence was submitted to the judge, including a video from the main street. It clearly shows him grabbing me and then the other dude following us into the alley. So it's my understanding that I'm not going to have to appear in court. From what Officer Peters told me, they should both be getting jail time and my restraining order was granted. So now I just need to put it all behind me and move on."
"If only it were that easy."
Julie gave her a small shrug, then shoveled some buttermilk pancake into her mouth. She briefly thought about discussing her situation with Bucky but decided against it. Sarah would read all sorts of things into it and Julie didn't want to go there.
"Ok. No more avoiding it. It's your turn. I want ALL the tea so spill it. Tell me about Jackson."
A small smile crept up on Sarah's face as she inhaled deeply, her eyes drifting to the ceiling.
"I…I haven't felt like this about anyone in a really, really long time. We just work. Do you know what I mean? Like, things are just easy. I don't feel like I have to pretend about anything — I can just be myself. Our first date had been awesome. It was just casual and fun and there were no awkward pauses in our conversation. Even if there was silence it was just…comfortable. I didn't feel like we needed to talk to fill the void. And when he held me, when he kissed me goodnight, I felt like I was melting. When he left I could like, literally feel the absence of his body against mine. And I think about him constantly."
A dreamy expression drifted over Sarah's face. Julie felt her heart rate pick up as she thought about what she'd just been told. So much of it could have been her describing how she felt around Bucky. Her stomach flipped summersaults.
Could it be? Is it possible? Despite everything…am I falling for him?
Sarah's voice pulled Julie out of her thoughts.
"We slept together last night."
"WHAT?! How?! When?! WHAT?!"
Julie nearly knocked her mimosa and pancakes on the floor. Sarah looked at her coyly over the rim of her own drink.
"Sam and Bucky graciously offered to unpack and watch the boys so we could go out on a date. We had dinner and then went for a walk around the lake. The snow had started to drift down and it was just magical when he kissed me. And one thing led to another and we ended up at his place."
"Annnnddd?"
"And…it was amazing. He was sweet and hot and let's just say he knows exactly what he's doing."
She fanned herself with her hand as Julie laughed. They clinked glasses.
"Good for you. You deserve this."
"Thanks girl," Sarah grinned.
"So anyway, are you coming with us for furniture shopping Saturday morning?"
"Am I — what?"
"Bucky finally gets to move into his new place next weekend. There's been so much back and forth with the current tenants but looks like they're out of there at last so he can get in earlier than expected. He's literally got no furniture at all. So Sam finally browbeat him into doing some shopping on Saturday. I'm sure I'll end up having to buy him a bunch of stuff online but some of the basics he'll need faster than it'd ship. You know, like a bed or maybe a couch."
Julie watched Sarah roll her eyes as an uncomfortable feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Bucky hadn't said anything about his moving date shifting. Or the furniture shopping.
He didn't say anything because he doesn't want you there.
"I'm surprised Bucky didn't tell you about any of this…"
Sarah turned suspicious eyes onto Julie. She shrugged in response.
"He's been out a lot on missions lately. Must have slipped his mind."
"Uh huh."
Julie could tell she didn't buy it, but Sarah thankfully didn't press the matter.
…
Evening was falling and all that Julie had managed to accomplish since Sarah left was to work herself up into a frenzy of righteous indignation. She paced back and forth on her small balcony, wrapped up in an oversized sweater and massive scarf.
How dare he?! I mean, what the fuck?! So what if I had a moment of weakness and asked him to sleep over? What's the big deal? So that's it? He's just going to cut me out of his life? None of this makes any sense! What the fuck is going on?!
Angry hands swiped her phone from the little bistro table. She opened it up to her texts and her fingers flew over the keyboard, hitting send before her brain caught up with her hands.
Julie: What the hell James?! Were you planning on telling me about the move and your upcoming family shopping trip? Or am I just suddenly too pathetic to be around?
Her chest heaved, all the wrath, hurt and frustration suddenly pouring out of her. She looked down at the text, immediately regretting actually sending it.
"Shit."
…
The beer bottle paused on its way to Bucky's mouth as he looked down at his phone.
"What is it? You've got a funny look on your face."
Bucky's brows furrowed as he looked up at Sam in a daze.
"Nothing."
He set the phone down, face first on the small table on the deck and returned to his drink.
"Yeah, ok. I'm going to see if Sarah needs any help with dinner. Let you take care of nothing."
He stood up and walked inside, leaving Bucky alone with his racing thoughts. Truthfully, Bucky hadn't intentionally not told Julie. It was just that they hadn't seen each other in weeks and they'd hardly talked. He'd simply forgotten to mention the move and he thought Sarah would extend the shopping invite. Which apparently she had.
She's barely reached out to me. Why does she care that I didn't say anything? It's like she wants me around but she wants to keep me at arms length at the same time. Why is she so damn confusing?!
The more he looked at the text the angrier he got. He took a deep breath and let it out through his nose, attempting to calm himself. He didn't want to get into it with her. He gave it a moment of thought, then typed back.
Bucky: Don't be ridiculous. I just forgot. You're welcome to join the rest of the family if you want. Hell, you're welcome to take my place.
…
Julie stood stock still, glaring at her phone.
There is no way he just forgot. What the fuck is he playing at?
She let out a noise of frustration as her jaw worked. Huffing, she threw herself down in one of her deck chairs, tossing the phone into her lap. She didn't know how to reply. She wanted him to be mad too. She wanted to see some sort of reaction. She wanted to know he still cared. But his response was so…nonchalant. It infuriated her.
Julie: I'll think about it.
Julie: Though it's not sounding terribly appealing at the moment.
…
Uncertainty and irritation rippled through him.
What the fuck does she want from me? She's mad when I don't tell her. She's not interested when I do. Why is this so difficult?
It had been a long time since he'd had to navigate the complexity of a woman's mind and he vaguely recalled why he'd avoided serious relationships in his youth. Bucky sighed. But he wasn't young like that anymore. Things with Julie were going south quickly, and that was never his intention. He felt like he'd been boxed into a corner. This was it. Decision time. Would he go on pretending he was ok with just being friends? Or would he cut loose and run? If he was being completely honest with himself, he wasn't sure he had the strength to remove himself like that. And with his friendship with Sam and Sarah it felt near impossible.
I guess I'm just a masochist.
…
It was Friday afternoon when Julie heard from Bucky again. She was walking out of the hospital when her phone dinged. She dug it out of her bag, her finger hesitating over the message before pressing it open.
Bucky: We're leaving tomorrow morning at 10am, in case you decided the outing has become more appealing.
She stopped walking. The text left her baffled. He surely wouldn't have sent it to her if he didn't want her to go. But the way he wrote it was mocking at the same time.
What in the world happened?! How have we slid so far backwards?
She had to fix this. She had to apologize for pushing his boundary and guilting him into spending the night with her. This was her fault and she would make it right.
…
"You did say she was coming, right?"
Bucky sighed, "Sarah, for the hundredth time, I don't know. I told her what time, she never replied. Ok?"
"What is going on? Something's weird between you two."
"Again, for the hundredth time, nothing is going on."
"Sarah. Leave him alone. He said everything is fine. Besides, Julie's coming up the drive right now."
All three heads turned to look in her direction. She parked the car and walked over, greeting both Sarah and Sam with a hug. Then she stood in front of Bucky.
"Good morning Bucky," she said stiffly.
"Morning."
The siblings exchanged a look.
"Ok, two questions. 1: Where are the boys? And 2: What is that?" Julie pointed to the small U-haul trailer hitched up to the back of Sam's truck.
"The boys are at the neighbor's for the day. And that is so that we can transport what we purchase today directly to the new place."
Julie turned her eyes on Bucky, "So when do you pick up the keys?"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small keychain with two keys dangling off of it.
"Alright kiddos. Let's get this show on the road!"
Sarah rolled her eyes at Sam and followed him to the truck, Bucky and Julie trailed behind.
"Woah, woah. Where do you two think you're going? This thing can't fit all four of us in it. Not unless Bucky wants to cram himself into that tiny backseat. And even then you'd have to sit in his lap because he takes up the entire thing."
Julie felt her face flush when Sam addressed her.
"We'll take my car," Bucky grumbled from somewhere behind her.
For the first time, she noticed the Jeep parked off to the side. Surprise flit through her mind.
"You coming?" He called back to her.
"Um, yeah. Right behind you."
She awkwardly climbed into the passenger seat, Bucky closing the door softly behind her. The first several minutes of the drive were spent in an awkward silence, not something she was used to with him. Finally, Julie couldn't take it any more. She turned her head slightly to face him.
"Look Bucky, I just…I wanted to apologize for the other night…when I…after the incident with Adam."
Bucky turned his head to face her briefly, his brows knit together, not understanding her.
"What in the world do you have to apologize for?"
She turned away from him to stare out the window.
"I realize now, that I may have pressed you — even guilted you — into doing something that you really weren't comfortable with. I'm sorry I crossed your boundary. I…"
Julie paused for a long time, then suddenly turned her earnest eyes back to his face, just as they stopped at a red light.
"I'm sorry Bucky. I really am. I swear, I didn't mean to upset you."
"Upset me?" His voice was gentle but edged with disbelief.
She looked up at him with large, chocolate eyes and it melted his insides.
"You didn't…I'm not…It's fine. I wasn't upset that you asked me to stay. It just seemed like you needed a little breathing room. I was trying to give you some space."
"Oh," the word escaped her lips in a rush of air.
Then they began to move again. Five minutes later they arrived at their first destination. Bucky let out a half sigh, half groan as he turned his miserable face on Julie.
"Do I have to go in?"
She let out a laugh at his expression, feeling the tightness and tension finally ebb away.
…
They sat in Bucky's car as it idled in his parking spot in the new garage. He gently thumped his head on the steering wheel repeatedly. Julie tried to stifle a laugh. It was 4pm and they were finally done shopping. Now Bucky and Sam were tasked with hauling all the large items up to his apartment while she and Sarah arranged everything.
"Is it over yet?" He groaned.
"Almost James, almost."
She patted him soothingly on the back, biting her lip to stop the smile from spreading. A few moments later, Sam pulled into the garage. Bucky turned off the engine and the men set to work. For an entire hour and a half they heaved all the furniture from the trailer up to Bucky's new apartment. The women told them where to place things, set to washing the new sheets and towels, and arranged the random knickknacks and items they had picked up. By the time they were done, the apartment was looking more than just livable. They had gone with light colored woods to keep the airy feeling of the place but decorated with manly deep blues, dark greens and creams. The effect was a warm and welcoming space that was both fresh and masculine at the same time. Bucky threw himself down on the couch, leaning his head back slowly. He closed his eyes and let out a tired groan. He heard Sam laugh from somewhere off to his right.
"Well I guess that's how you wear out a super solider," he grinned at Sarah.
"And on that note, I'm sorry to tell you two, but you're going to have to fend for yourselves for dinner tonight. I miss my kids. Sam, take me home."
"Oh my God! Bucky!" Julie whirled to face him with a panicked look in her eye. "We forgot about the kitchen!"
"What about the kitchen?" He asked without even opening his eyes.
"You don't have plates. Or cups. Or silverware. Or anything."
"So?"
"You don't even have groceries. Or coffee."
He slowly lifted his head up and opened his eyes, glaring daggers at her.
"I'm not doing any more shopping today."
Sarah laughed, "Maybe Julie can help you with some online shopping some time. We all know you'll eat off paper plates for the rest of your life if she doesn't. Anyway, do you want us to give you a ride home Jules?"
"Um, I mean, I don't mind looking around for some stuff now. Just get it all over with, you know? If you want me to?"
She looked at Bucky. He gave her an incredulous look.
"After everything today, you want to do more shopping? I don't even want to know what your bank account looks like."
"It looks great, thanks. If you don't want my help, then fine." She turned and looked at Sarah, "I guess I'm leaving with you two."
Julie made to move towards her purse.
"No. Wait! Don't make me do this by myself," he moaned.
She crossed her arms and cocked her hip, assessing him with pursed lips.
"And what do I get out of it if I stay and help?"
"Dinner. I'll pay for dinner."
She watched him squirm for a moment before dropping her arms to her sides, "Fine."
"I promise I'll make sure she gets home safe," Bucky addressed Sarah.
"Well now that that's settled, we're leaving for real. You two have a good night."
The four of them said their goodbyes and the siblings left, closing the door quietly behind them. Julie sighed and sat down on the couch beside Bucky. She grabbed his phone from the coffee table and began scrolling through the food delivery options.
"Ok, I'm going to start on ordering dinner, you start on ordering yourself some groceries."
Bucky stood up and stretched.
"Yes Ma'am," he said in his most obedient military voice.
Then he walked off into the bedroom in search of his duffle bag that housed the laptop. He came back a few minutes later and sat back down next to Julie. They continued on in silence for some time, only broken by the TV that Julie turned on while Bucky continued to grocery shop. When the food arrived, they ate and kept watching her show. Then Julie picked up the laptop and, after sufficiently pestering Bucky about what he liked and didn't like, she'd managed to order him an entirely full kitchen. At last, Julie set the laptop down and groaned. She leaned back, rubbing her eyes. Bucky chuckled lightly as he observed her.
"Finally sick of shopping?"
She peeked an eye open and glared daggers at him. Bucky stood up, reaching a hand down to her.
"Come with me. I want to show you something."
Julie eyed the proffered hand suspiciously. He waggled his fingers at her.
"Come on. Trust me, you'll like it."
She heaved out a sigh and slapped her hand into his, allowing him to haul her to her feet. She followed him out of the apartment and to a set of stairs she hadn't noticed before.
"You remember when we were looking at this place and the manager mentioned there were some amenities?"
"Mmhm."
He opened the door at the top of the stairs and walked through the threshold, holding it open for Julie. She stepped out in the dark and cold night, shivering slightly without her coat.
"Where are we? You're not planning on murdering me quietly up here, are you?"
"Ha. Ha. You're so funny."
He flipped a switch and Julie gasped as hundreds of small Edison bulbs flickered on. They zigzagged back and forth overhead, stretching out to the far right where they danced over a large fire pit and several comfortable looking outdoor couches. An acrylic wall encircled the rooftop terrace, softened by topiaries in each corner. Small benches tucked away here and there led to an outdoor kitchen behind her. Her mouth hung open as she took in the beautiful scene. The only thing missing were the twinkling stars overhead, hidden by deep, thick clouds. Bucky took Julie in, a soft smile playing on his lips.
"I take it you like it?"
"It's…beautiful."
"Come on this way. It's cold up here. I'll start the fire pit up."
She followed him over to one of the couches and Bucky knelt down to start the gas on the fire pit. Rather than sitting down beside her, he sat directly across from her and ran his palms up and down his thighs in a nervous manner. He cleared his throat, Dr. Raynor's card burning a hole in his pocket. Julie tipped her head up and observed the heavy clouds overhead.
"Do you think we'll get more snow? Or just rain tonight?"
"Probably rain. It feels too warm for snow. Anyway, I've been wondering…How have you been…since…?"
"Oh. Um, I'm fine. I've been fine."
(Start A Riot - Banners)
"Listen…there's something I wanted to talk to you about."
He leaned forward slightly, the fire casting shadows over his face. Julie felt her stomach plummet. Whatever this was, she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it.
"After the incident, I was talking to Dr. Raynor about it an-"
"You what?" Julie sat up, her back ramrod straight.
Bucky instinctively leaned away from her, slightly taken aback by her immediate reaction. He had gone over this conversation a million times in his head. But now that they were here nothing seemed to be going the way he thought it would and he found himself tripping over his words.
"I was talking to Dr. Raynor…" he attempted again.
Julie felt herself bristle, hackles going up like she were a cat. She jumped from her seat and paced away from him.
"You…talked to your therapist about what happened to me?! What the hell James?!"
He felt himself growing angry and he stood up to follow her.
"Yes. I did. Because it happened to me too!"
"Are you fucking kidding me?! It happened to YOU?!" Julie was shouting at him now.
"Did you forget who interrupted what was going on?!" He roared in response.
Bucky turned his back on her and marched towards the wall. Then he abruptly turned to face her once more. Fury and something else she couldn't read etched into his features.
"I was…" his chest heaved as he attempted to force the words out. "I was going to kill him Julie. Do you understand me? I wasn't planning on stopping. I was going to pound his skull into the ground until his brains leaked out. Then I was going to clean up the evidence and leave him there as a meal for the dirty alley rats. All of those things were clicking somewhere in the back of my mind as I drove my fist into his face. I wasn't going to stop. I wasn't. Going. To. Stop. Not until you called out to me."
She stood there in shock, trying not to vomit at the picture he'd painted in her mind. But she knew it to be true. She saw it in the way he moved that night. He had a detached look about him, like his body was moving of its own accord. She knew it deep down, if she hadn't shouted, he would have kept going until Adam was dead. Julie looked up at him. Bucky's chest was moving heavily up and down as he surveyed her, trying to decipher her reaction. She watched him reach into his pocket and pull out something small. A business card.
"Here," he thrust his hand towards her. "She usually only works with vets. But she wanted me to give you this. In case you wanted to talk to someone."
Julie just stood there, immobile, staring at the card. She felt a panic well up inside of her and an urge to turn and run. She wasn't ready to talk. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to bury it all deep down and forget anything had ever happened.
"Take it!" He barked at her.
"No! I don't want it!" She took a step away from him, glancing behind her at the door.
"Why the hell not?!"
"Because!" She screamed back. "I'm not ready to talk about it. In fact, I don't want to talk about it —ever! Why are you being so pushy?!"
"Because I KNOW!" Bucky yelled back at her, taking a step forward.
"I know what it's like," he continued at a much quieter volume now, his eyes locked with Julie's.
"What it feels like to be held down and powerless while your body is violated. To watch as someone tears at you, unable stop them. Then they get into your head and strip away every piece of you until you don't know up from down and what is true about you and what isn't. I know the pain and the doubt that haunts you after."
Julie couldn't take her eyes away from him as his words sank in and consumed her. The truth of his statement ate at her insides. Because he was right, Bucky did know. Maybe what happened to him wasn't exactly the same. But it wasn't that far off either.
"I know," Bucky whispered at her again, his arm dropping down to his side, head cocked as he observed her.
Her mouth had gone dry and she swallowed convulsively. She couldn't face him like this. She felt like a coward. It was too much and her defenses flared up.
"But we are not the same," she whispered back. "I'm fine. I don't want to go to a therapist. I don't need to. I'm not something that got broken that needs fixing. I'm fine."
"Is that what you think of me?" Bucky asked her quietly. "That I'm broken and need to be fixed?"
She felt her heart shred at the look of hurt and betrayal in his eyes.
"Bucky, I didn't mean it like that. I —"
"No," he interrupted her. "You're right. I am broken. But at least I'm trying…slowly…to piece myself back together. That's more than you can say."
"Why can't you just let this go?" The words, barely above a whisper, carried to his ears on the wind.
"BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU, DAMN IT!"
His voice rose up in volume, wild eyes boring into hers. He spun around and paced back to the acrylic wall. His hands gripped the railing and he hung his head, feeling the first of the raindrops slowly falling down on him. He couldn't do this to himself anymore. His heart ached so badly he thought it might burst through his chest. It was now or never. And then the heavens opened up and they were both soaked within seconds.
(Insane - Ofenback)
"Can't you see…?"
Bucky's voice was so soft Julie could hardly hear him over the pounding of the rain. She stepped closer to him, watching as he lifted his head and ran his hand through his hair, wiping the sopping strands off his face. He turned back around to face her, taking two long strides to close the distance between them. They stood mere inches apart now.
"Can't you see how much I care about you?" He whispered.
Julie's heart jumped into her throat, she could barely breathe. The anticipation of what was to come coiled in her belly like a jack-in-the-box ready to spring loose. She watched Bucky move towards her. His hands came up to rest lightly on her neck, then skimmed up to cup her face. His head dipped, their lips finally meeting in a firm kiss. She could tell he was holding fast to his control, but there was no hesitation from him. He knew what he wanted and he was clearly showing her. The kiss was gentle, but needy and shot desire through Julie that immediately pooled down low.
But just as quickly as it had begun, he was pulling away from her. She finally stopped thinking. Stopped fighting what she knew she wanted deep down inside. Letting out a disappointed noise, she stood up on her tiptoes and threw her arms around his neck, chasing after him. Bucky immediately responded to the invitation. His vibranium arm wrapped around her waist as the right hand cupped the back of her head. He pulled her roughly against him, letting their bodies collide.
Julie moaned when she felt him tug on her hair, tilting her chin upwards. He deepened the kiss and slowly walked them backwards until her back bumped against the wall. His tongue darted into her mouth, swirling around, soft and sensual. Her body thrummed with pleasure and she wanted more of him. Bucky's chest pressed against hers, but his hips stayed tantalizingly out of reach. It wasn't enough. Even in this moment of passion he was still being considerate of her and that realization went straight to a deep part of her heart, burying itself there like a little seed of happiness. He kissed down her neck, hitting her sensitive spot at the juncture with her shoulder and she mewled. Her hands reached out and wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her.
"Bucky…" she breathed out his name like a plea.
The sound of her wanton voice calling out his name finally caused his restraint to snap. He grabbed her under her thighs and hitched her up until she wrapped her legs around his waist. Using his body, he pinned her against the wall. Julie's eyes flew open and she gasped at the feeling of him, already thick and hard against her core. Her hips bucked involuntarily, grinding herself against him. He let out a huff of air, pulling away from her mouth and rested his forehead against hers. She shivered.
"Should we go inside?" His voice came out low and husky. "Before you catch pneumonia."
She swallowed hard, barely able to nod her head. Bucky slowly let her legs slip down, setting her softly on the ground. They walked back to his apartment in silence. The pair kicked off their shoes and socks as soon as they walked in, then Bucky retreated into this bathroom. He extracted two towels, warm and fresh from the dryer. Walking back into the living room, he found Julie standing exactly where he'd left her, a small puddle forming at her feet from her dripping hair. He held one of the towels out, his eyes boring into hers.
"Would you like a towel to dry off?"
Bucky's voice was raspy with need. It sent heat through her entire body, lighting Julie on fire from the inside out. She didn't want the towel. She didn't want to dry off, she was far too wet for that. Desire burned through her like nothing before. She stepped up to Bucky and tossed the towel aside. Her eyes met his as her trembling hands reached out to grasp the hem of his shirt. Ever so slowly she inched the fabric up, revealing his damp abs. Halfway up, he reached back to assist her, yanking the shirt over his head. Then Bucky's hands moved to her shirt, making quick work of the fabric. Deft fingers unbuttoned her jeans, pulling the zipper down and shoving them over her hips. Julie stepped out of the pants. Her eyes lifted up to his face and her breath caught in her throat as she watched his metal fingers flip open his own jeans. Gradually, they were pushed down to the floor, taking his black boxer briefs with them.
Julie swallowed hard, her mouth bone dry. He was standing at full mast, his cock thick and heavy with want. It swung slightly as he approached her, already glistening with precum. She stood rooted to the spot in her lacy emerald set. His fingers gently landed on her hips, skimming up her sides, causing goosebumps to erupt on her skin. An involuntary moan escaped her when she felt Bucky's lips on her neck. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra, allowing her breasts to fall into his awaiting hands. Julie gasped as he ran his thumbs, one vibranium and one calloused skin, over her nipples. Her back arched into him and he kissed her deeply. His mouth moved down her jawline, resting at her ear.
"Do you want to break in the new bed?"
"Yes."
Bucky grabbed her, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around him. His hot cock pressed against her, sending wetness pooling between her folds, the dampness seeping through the fabric of her panties. He carried her into the bedroom and set her down carefully on his freshly made bed. Julie scooted up, giving him some space to join her. She shoved the blankets aside and waited for him. But Bucky just stood there, eyes of a predator raking down her body. She clenched her thighs, her breathing speeding up. With well controlled movements he crawled over her, covering her body with his own. He rested on his forearms, allowing himself to hover over her. Julie arched her back, reaching up for their lips to connect but she couldn't quite reach him. Bucky bent down, allowing his nose to rub against hers, his lips just a breath away. They parted slightly, just grazing over her own eager and swollen ones. A breathy whimper escaped her. She opened her legs, hoping he'd settle between them. But he continued to linger over her, teasing her with both his body and his mouth.
"Bucky," she groaned out breathlessly. "Please…"
"What is it you want? Hmmm?" his lips moved lightly against her mouth as he spoke.
She whimpered, her fingernails scrapped down his back and she lifted her hips up to grind against him.
"Patience doll. We'll get there. Let me worship you first."
A gasp choked out of her at those words. She turned wide, timid eyes to him. Bucky could see the nervousness behind her gaze. After everything she'd told him, he knew he had to take his time with Julie. So he finally kissed her — slow, intense and sensual. He kissed her so thoroughly her mind went blank, any worry erased from existence. He gently lowered himself down, allowing her to feel the full weight of his body. She moaned into Bucky's mouth. But just as she was about to wrap her legs around him, he moved.
His mouth went from her lips to trail across her jaw, then down her neck. He slid down her body, his tongue leaving a wet trail that his vibranium hand followed. Julie's eyes flew open and she swallowed hard as she felt him kiss just above her pubic bone. Bucky felt her tense slightly underneath him. His left fingers continued to move down until both hands now rested on her hips. He kissed down the inside of her left thigh, gently nipping. Julie gasped, her fingers clutching at the sheets. He made his way back up the other thigh, then gently placed a kiss on her lace covered folds. She stopped breathing and screwed her eyes shut. His gaze drifted up, taking in her expression.
"Is this ok? I can stop, if you want me to," he breathed against her.
Julie swallowed again and blinked her eyes open, considering his offer. Bucky drifted back up her body and looked down at her face.
"I won't be upset. If you don't want to continue…I'll stop."
Her body thrummed with desire and the earnest look on his face dissolved any last remaining concerns she had.
"No…don't stop," she whispered.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded, then pulled him down into a kiss. Bucky finally pulled away, moving back down her body. He settled in between her legs, his fingers hooking into the band of her panties. He pulled them down her legs and gazed down at her short and manicured curls. Hooking his arms underneath her thighs he moved his face closer to her core. He heard Julie's breath hitch. His eyes lazily moved up to hers. They remained locked as he brought his mouth down, settling it fully over her center. She gasped, hips surging forward when she felt his tongue lap at her folds. Bucky's hand shot out, pressing down on her right hip and lower belly, holding her fast to the bed. His other hand wrapped around her thigh, opening her up for him.
"B-Bucky!" She stuttered as he continued his movements.
Julie couldn't believe how incredibly aroused she was. She couldn't remember ever wanting a man as badly as she wanted Bucky right now. He swirled his tongue around her clit, then sucked gently, causing her to cry out. The wetness seeped down her legs as her body readied itself for him. He continued to lick her, his tongue occasionally darting between the folds, lapping up her arousal. Julie's hands flew to his hair, fingers tangling in the long strands as she ground herself against his face. Bucky moaned into her. His cock so hard now it was getting painful. He needed to be inside of her, to feel her envelop him before he embarrassed himself. Letting her legs go, he began to move back up her body. Julie released his hair, a small whimper of disappointment escaping her. He chuckled against her mouth, kissing her lightly.
"Don't worry, we're not done yet. Do I need protection?"
She looked up at him shyly and nodded her head. But Bucky did not have the reaction that David had had. He simply slid off of her and reached into his duffle bag, removing a box of condoms. He took one out and tossed the rest onto the side table. Ripping the foil open with his mouth, he slowly slid the condom over his cock, a hiss slipping through his teeth at the contact. Julie licked her lips as she watched him.
"Oh doll," he moaned. "Don't do that to me."
Julie's chest continued to labor up and down as she watched him with wide eyes. He climbed back over her and settled between her waiting legs. His right hand dragged up her body, taking her arm with it. He entwined their fingers as he rested their hands beside her head. She whimpered and shifted her hips, wordlessly asking him to take her. Bucky's lips met hers just as she felt his cock press into her. They moaned together as his head slipped inside her warm and wet body. Julie's legs wrapped around his waist, urging him deeper. But instead he pulled back out. She keened.
Needy lips pressed against hers in an intense and rough kiss. His hot cock pushed inside of her again, going deeper this time. She gasped against Bucky's mouth. He repeated the action, nearly pulling completely out, then slowly going deeper. She shut her eyes, her head shaking back and forth as a whimper escaped her lips.
"More!" She begged him.
Bucky complied. His left arm reached underneath her, grasping her around the waist and angling her hips. With his next thrust he sheathed himself completely.
"Aaahhhh!" He groaned deeply against her neck.
Julie gasped, her eyes flying open and head tipping back as she blinked a few times.
"Are you ok?" He breathed.
"Yes…I just…I need a second."
Bucky swallowed, trying to gather all the restraint he had to hold still. He shut his eyes and rested his forehead against her shoulder. More than anything he wanted to thrust into her and fuck her senseless. But he waited. At last he felt her lift her hips slightly and grind into him. He began to move inside of Julie, setting a slow and hard rhythm. She gasped and moaned with each movement, her body meeting his thrust for thrust. Their still entwined fingers grabbed at each other as their pleasure began to build.
"Bucky! Oh God, Bucky…"
Her mind was humming with the sensations he was causing. Scattered thoughts shattering in all directions and swirling pleasure pouring through each of her nerves. She was climbing higher and higher. Her mind battling between drowning in the feeling and allowing her usual worries to creep in. Bucky let her hand go and propped himself up on both forearms. He looked down at her face. Her eyes lazily opened and she gazed back up at him, lips parting slightly. He kissed her fully, his hips continuing their same languid pace that was driving her so crazy.
"Don't think about it so much," he whispered into her ear.
"Focus on the feeling of my mouth on your skin," he kissed her neck.
"On my fingers touching your body," his right hand skimmed up her side, briefly cupping the underside of her breast, thumb flicking her nipple.
"On my cock, filling you and stretching you," he gave a particularly deep thrust, grinding his pelvic bone against her clit, making her cry out.
"That's it baby, that's it."
Bucky's pace increased as Julie shut her eyes and tipped her head backwards. Her mouth dropped open, her legs squeezed around his waist. His thrusts came quick and hard now, driving deeply into her each time. He could feel her walls squeezing him tightly.
"Ohhh fuck Julie," he moaned.
Her arms grabbed onto him, holding him tight as she kept climbing higher, then finally reaching the peak and cresting over in an orgasm that washed over her like a tsunami. It consumed every bit of her, her mind drowning in the pleasure that coursed through her shuddering body.
"Oh BUCKY! YES! BUCKY!"
She cried out loudly as her body frantically worked his cock, squeezing, pulling, thrusting.
"Ahhhh!" She continued to moan out as the orgasm sent her into oblivion.
"Look at me," he begged her.
With great effort she opened her eyes and locked them with his. Her body continued to convulse around him. She watched as Bucky's lips parted, his chest heaved, he gave a powerful thrust and seated himself deeply inside of her, pressing her firmly into the mattress as he found his own pleasure.
"YESSSSS!," he hissed, still watching her face.
His hips continued to buck into her wildly as he rode out the orgasm. His cock pulsed and throbbed, spilling the cum out.
"FUCK, Julie! Oh my God, YES!"
He hung his head down, their bodies slowing as they rode out the aftershocks. They finally stilled, allowing their senses to come back to them. At last, Bucky managed to move himself. He rolled off of Julie and pulled the condom off, tossing it on the floor. He laid on his back, trying to steady his breathing. Then he turned to look at her.
"Shit!"
Bucky rolled over, propping himself up on his left elbow, his right hand cautiously reaching out to her.
"Are you ok? Did I hurt you?!"
Julie wiped her eyes and looked over at him, smiling weakly.
"No, I'm fine. I don't know why I'm crying."
An intense emotion had filled her immediately following the ebb of her orgasm. She had tried to hold it back, tried to control it, but it had overwhelmed her. She felt as shocked as Bucky to find herself crying. He smiled gently at her and pulled her close against him, allowing her to cry into his chest.
"Shhh," he soothed her as he rubbed a hand in small circles on her back.
"I'm so sorry. This has never happed to me before. It wasn't anything you did. That was…that was…"
Julie peeked up at Bucky shyly, at a loss for words. She felt her face grow hot at the look he gave her.
"I know," he said simply.
He bent his head down and kissed her gently on the lips. Reaching down, he grabbed ahold of the blanket and tugged it up over their naked bodies. Bucky continued to hold Julie until she finally quieted, sniffling softly. She turned her head so her cheek rested against his chest rather than her nose. He shifted slightly, aligning their hips and tangling their legs together. He felt her left palm press against him as the lull of slumber tugged on his pleasure soaked mind. Moments later they'd both drifted to sleep.
A/N: Sooooooooo…was the wait worth it? Should there be more scenes like this? Please leave me a review and let me know if you liked the chapter! ;)
As always, a BIG THANK YOU to my wonderful readers who have liked/followed/REVIEWED! I love you all and you inspire me to keep writing: MedievalContessa, RogueReader, ThatGirlNextDoor, Thorunnironside, Alices Rabbit, Alpinelover, .2023, and Guest (Thank you also for the review on SvS!).
Thorunnironside: You're welcome! Turns out this one is even longer than the other one haha.
Alices Rabbit: Thank you so much for the praise! I was insanely nervous after I posted the last chapter because I wasn't sure how it would be received. And yes, I think 'gently' is the prefect word to describe it. To be fair, Julie still hasn't completely admitted to herself that she's in love with Bucky. She's still a bit in denial lol. But hopefully this chapter has satisfied you for now ;)
Alpinelover: No worries. David was really there to show how Julie was starting to go down the same old path again, going for what she thought was right rather than listening to her heart and going for what would make her actually happy. Anyway, hope you liked this one and thanks for your review!
Guest: Thank you so much for both of your reviews! Hope this chapter helped to heal those wounds (I feel you there!).