I found this to be even more amusing as I watched people rush for the basement door that lead to the back yard. Suddenly I heard a deep growl from behind. I felt a piercing ache of fear go through my body. I felt like I just drove my car head on into a brick wall. Before I turned around to face him I saw Nessie's vision. She had been trying to warn me all along, but I was too infatuated with my new experiment. In the split second that followed I saw my dad pacing back and forth in the living room.

"Oh my god" was all I could manage to get out.

I no longer felt excited, thrilled or empowered, I was terrified. What were they doing home? I got another flash from Brayden another warning. He was telling me to come home but it was too late. I realized the longer I drew this out the angrier it was going to make them. I slowly turned around to face Emmitt. His gaze nearly knocked me to my knees. He grabbed me by my shirt and drew me close to his face. His eyes were piercing with fury. He loosened his grasp and we walked outside.

As we stepped out into the night I realized Emmitt had come on foot. He opened the passenger side door of my car and directed me to get in. I could tell he was furious with me. He hadn't made eye contact since we were in the basement.

We pulled into the long driveway and sat there for a second before proceeding on. What was I going to say, what were they going to do? I guess I didn't have to say anything Dad was home. I knew I was not in any state to put my guard up. If Alice's vision wasn't vivid enough, I knew Nessie would spill like an open book.

I walked up the steps to the house opened the door and took one small side step to the left. I let the door shut and I let my body weight go against the door, it was the only thing holding me up.

I glanced to my left and saw Nessie and Jacob sitting the furthest from everyone else. Esme was the first to come towards me. She hugged me harder than she ever had before and then she lifted my chin up so my eyes had nowhere to go but to look straight into hers. As intensely as I had ever heard her speak

"Don't you ever lie to me again."

I could feel my mom angry and staring at me, I could not bring myself to look up at her. A few seconds later I heard Rosalie snap at Alice;

"We left our vacation for this, he is fine!" She stormed out of the room with Emmit quickly in tow.

Everyone else seemed to be motionless. I let my guard completely down. It was pouring out of me into his head. I knew with each thought he was absorbing he became more and more furious with my decisions. He saw me from the moment Nessie and I were in the car. He saw my excitement, knowingly planning to go against the Cullen rules, he saw me lie to Esme, my poor theatrical show with Mrs. Edlin, stealing from the charity blood drive, driving recklessly and tearing up the country club green. I had never seen my father so angry.

In less than a second he had his belt in his hand, grabbed me by the upper arm and practically carried me to the spare bedroom on the first floor. Only a low growl escaped through my father's clenched teeth. As the hair on the back of my neck stood on end I glanced at my father. His jaw was rigid, eyes stone cold fixed on something in front of him. I felt like he was going to explode any minute. Oh god, he is furious. I realized his goal was to make it to the spare room before he had his way with me. I could feel him shaking as his fingers seemed to penetrate tighter around my arm. I've never seen him this mad, oh god what is he going to do?

I quickly racked my brain trying to recall the last time I found myself in the spare bedroom with my father. It was nothing like this. Although my disobedience in the past led to similar punishments, my father's emotions were never as they are now. We always discussed why I was being punished, how my actions led up to forcing his hand and finally the lesson I will learn from my mistake. They were carefully planned out. Old fashion my father was with his style of punishments but never before had I experienced a swatting when he did not have control of his emotions. Tears began to well in my eyes as the fear set in.

Everything was happening so fast it was difficult to stay oriented. I heard a loud bang as the bedroom door rattled on its hinges. Still in my father's death grip I was moved over to the desk in the room. The arm chair was moved so quickly from in front of me I barely noticed it there to begin with. Finally releasing my arm my father applied pressure to my upper back indicating for me to lean over the desk. Complying with his non-verbal cue I leaned myself over the oak table top. With my forearms on the desk I buried my face down into my arms bracing for what I knew was coming next.

"Dad I'…." I began to plea with an apology but was cut off abruptly.

"STOP." Was all I heard and knew discussing anything was out of the picture.

I heard it "swish" through the air before it landed on my backside.

"SMACK"

"OWWWW" I screamed startled by my father's force. Damn that hurt, please let this be quick.

I heard the swish again and braced myself trying to put most of my weight on my forearms.

"SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK".

Oh God please stop, please stop. I know my father could hear my mental plea but he showed no sign of slowing soon. He landed ten more swats to my backside each with more force than the time before.

"SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK".

I can't take this, it stings! I pushed myself up from the table top hoping my father would see the plea in my voice. Teary eyed I turned to look at him. Please Dad, I'm sorry!

Looking into my father's eyes I knew I made a mistake by getting up. He had the same look as before, his eyes mixed with fury. His lips curled just slightly exposing his teeth. He gave me a deep growl confirming my mistake.

"Head down and do not get up again." His voice was barely audible but it filled me with fear.

I reluctantly lowered my head and placed myself back over the desk.

"SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK".

With each smack landing harder than before I began to lose it. I couldn't control myself as the pain was becoming intolerable. My guard was down and I knew the only way this was going to end was when my father decided it was over. I cried and whimpered as he continued to hand me my punishment.

"SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK".

My legs began to feel too heavy to hold up and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to stand anymore. My legs began to shake as I continued to sob hoping it would end soon. Just as I thought was over my father landed ten more swats to my backside.

"SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK".

My legs buckled from below me, the door slammed and he was gone. I was now alone in the spare bedroom where I let myself slip completely to the floor. I grabbed my knees and couldn't control my sobbing. The pain was intense but it was the shame I felt that overwhelmed me. I retraced my entire evening from start to finish. Nothing I had done was logical anymore.

What was I thinking? I should have listened to my sister. I lied and deceived the people I care about. I made them fret and worry about my wellbeing, I was awful. What would of happened if I had went to Madison's party? Would I of hurt them?

I cried until I was so exhausted I couldn't hold my eyelids open.

I woke the next morning and no longer in the spare bedroom. I was neatly tucked into my own bed. Someone had moved me here. Who, who would of moved me here last night everyone was so furious. I sat up and saw Bella sitting in the corner of my room. She was so beautiful. She just stared at me a moment and rocked back and forth.

"I still love watching you sleep". She was no longer angry.

Maybe it was because she had more time to contemplate what had happened since her body no longer required sleep.

"I'm sorry mom." My voice was almost a whisper.

She came over and sat on my bed.

"I have not forgotten what it is like to be young EJ, to want to experience the unknown". As always her voice was like music.

"You are going to make mistakes, it's the nature of being a teenager".

All I had to say was I was sorry and she knew everything I was feeling.

"Come down for breakfast when you are ready".

My mom was one thing but I didn't want to face everyone else, not yet. I got out of bed and was headed to change my clothes. As I stood in the middle of the floor my dad walked into the room. My eyes darted toward my feet. I wasn't ready to face him yet. He walked towards me and stopped a few inches away from me. I couldn't look up at him I was so ashamed.

"I'm so sorry I will never do it again" I couldn't get the words as my throat began to choke up but I didn't need to he had heard everything.

He gently grabbed the sides of my head and drew me close to his body. He held me in his embrace while I began to cry. His words were smooth and soothing.

"I am so sorry EJ, I will never react that way again."

I didn't understand why he was apologizing. I then realized he was mad at himself for raising a hand against me in anger, how foolish for him to feel that way.

"You scared me and I reacted poorly, I am sorry."

My father had wanted to protect me from the regret he suffered from the decisions he made in the past. He was not always a vegetarian. I wished at that moment like I had wished so many times before I could take away his pain. He was perfect, he was kind and loving, most of all he forgave me. I thought to myself "those people deserved to die", they were cruel humans, they were the real monsters". I was angry at them forever existing, to be the poison of my father's self image.

"Remember who you are, my mistakes are not yours and you will have a different path".

"If you only knew how much you mattered E.J., our family fears your and Nessie's safety above all else, and not only harm inflicted upon you but that in which you inflict upon others and yourself".

I stepped back and sat back down on my bed. Dad pulled a chair close to my side.

"E.J. there is great pain in hurting others. Once it is done it will never be mended". He paused and stared at me for a moment as if he was deciding what to tell me next.

"It takes great strength to abstain from what naturally provides our strength. It is something most of our kind will never be able to control. It is understandable that you may want to experiment with your desires and maybe we should have discussed this long ago."

"When you initially change your desire to kill is immense and almost uncontrollable. However I could still feel a shred of my humanity so I decided to only kill those that I felt deserved to die. I When I was soldier I was stationed at a prisoner camp for a brief period. It was here that I made a very poor decision. I preyed on those that killed innocent people, I killed those that I felt deserved to die. I thought I was a hero."

He paused and I could tell he was reflecting on his memory.

"You were Dad, you were"! How could he think otherwise? Why hadn't he told me this story before?

"Be patient E.J." He almost whispered.

"Soon I came to believe I was still a soldier for our country. I was more powerful. I killed as often as I could without drawing to much attention to myself. Probably three or four soldiers a day. I felt I was growing stronger with each kill, I became infatuated with my game and power."

"One day I was moving from to another camp I had heard about through ease dropping on a leading officer. I felt my services were in greater need so I began my journey on foot. It had been days since I left camp. I had miscalculated the distance and was growing more desperate to feed. In my fifth day on foot I came across a small home. I was stunned to see someone had managed to still occupy the small dwelling; it was a mother and a small boy, maybe five years old."

"When I first saw them they were coming out of the garden with a bowl of picked vegetables, laughing and singing. I remember their faces so clearly. Suddenly I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time; an intense ache deep within my throat. I could not control myself". He turned his head and I could tell he was replaying that day in his mind.

"I killed them both E.J., I killed them". His body seemed heavy at that moment.

I couldn't imagine my father killing a person, an innocent person. I realized then how powerful the urge can be, how uncontrollable.

"I'm sorry". I slowly breathed.

"E.J. the more human blood you drink, the stronger your desire is to kill. You can't always control your desires and that is why it is so important to never drink human blood."

"Remember who you are, my mistakes are not yours and you will have a different path". Then he left my room.

I spent the remainder of the day mending bridges with all of the other family members. Rosalie was still pissed I made her leave her vacation early. Everyone else seemed to get over it quickly.

As part of my punishment I spent the next month volunteering for Mrs. Edlin's kindergarten class as a teacher's assistant during the after school program. On the weekends for the next two months I worked the grounds crew at the golf course free of charge. Carlisle also made a generous donation to the country club during their annual fundraiser. I was not allowed to leave the house except to go to school and to attend my volunteer activities. I lost all driving privileges indefinitely.