A/n: Okay. So, it occurs to me that I have not yet marked my story as "complete". And I've got a plotbunny kinda thing for the sequel...though whether it flies or not, I most certainly can't garauntee (by the way, does anyone have any idea what exactly the title for the sequel would be?). So...I'm bored and in a good mood, so I'm going to try and whip up an epilogue. Let's see how this turns out. Keep in mind that this here is really, really, really improvised.

To the fans: ...oh, god damn it, you know who you are! If you're reading this and you ever considered leaving a review or adding to alert or fave, pretend I wrote your name here with "Thank you for acknowledging my existsance."

Disclaimer: Because these things are actually pretty fun to write.
The thing about Akatsuki is that each and every member of it is a part of the Naruto world. Every man, woman, and child, as well as all background stories and places and whatever else that exists in Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. And now he totally sounds like a slave-owning dictator. Hmmmm...maybe he is... FREE THE CHARACTERS!!!! Just look at poor Akatsuki--destined to be brutally decimated by the main characters just because it's convenient for plot! Yeah, I'll shut up now.

On with the epiloguage! After I appologize that it's pretty much intended to be less funny, more cliffy. So, sorry, if you're looking for some funny stuff, go look at...hey, all my stuff's depressing! Damn. Never mind. Go look for something funny.

Even a month and a half later, breakfast still held some kind of excitement in the Akatsuki household; Tobi's decision to title them as family members had left everyone automatically eager to see the day's events, and what would happen at the first and only meal shared in the "family." This borderline anxiety likely had something to do with the fact that Tobi never really officially titled Itachi--and still, the Uchiha was never really considered a member of the family, until Hidan made some comment about his wrinkled granddaugher-in-law, at which point Itachi promptly excused himself from the table, and soon enough seemed rather quick to leave his shirt off in the most mascluline ways possible.

And so, on one depressingly eventful day about a month and a half after Sasori and Deidara became official members of the "family," Pein leaned on the back of his chair with a solemn expression on his face, and Kai leaned on the doorframe, content to stare in the general direction of her feet.

Cue Tobi. "Leader-otousama?" Because, even after learning Pein's name, he was quick to realize that he became quite irritable at the use of his name. "Why aren't you or Blue-okaachan sitting down?"

"Because," Pein explained gravely, "Blue-chan isn't staying much longer."

All heads snapped toward Pein; Tobi and Deidara added gasps while Sasori looked up exhasperatedly and asked, "This isn't going to be like when Orochimaru left, is it? Because I don't see any reason why we shoul be kicking Blue-okaachan out."

"No," Pein answered quickly, his eyebrows twitching upward to show how careful he was to remain patient. "She...her family...that is to say..." Glances were exchanged around the table at Pein's delaying, and he looked up with a glare to bring all attention back to himself. "Blue-chan's mother is ill, and her sister is desperate enough for money that she's willing to give away Blue-chan's wherebouts to help her mother. As much as she will be missed, she has to leave, lest her sister track us down with her. And no," he added, glaring at Tobi as the noise of breath sucked in through a mask sounded through the kitchen. "I'm not talking about Kisame-san. Believe it or not, Tobi, we all have--or had"--he added, nodding briefly to Itachi--"family outside Akatsuki."

"But Itachi-chan still has family," Tobi argued. "He left his brother--"

"Tobi," Pein interrupted frustratedly, slamming his hands on the table. A second of silence followed, during which time Pein sighed and looked up tiredly. "It...doesn't...matter. The point is, Akatsuki isn't even really a family, and those of us in it either once did or still do belong to one family or another. And right now, I'm most certainly not saying that those families are doing anyone any good, but they must be dealt with, one way or another. And the way to deal with it right now is to send Blue-chan back to her place of origin so as to disconnect her from us long enough for nobody to be suspicious." He looked around the table sternly. "Any questions?"

A brief silence followed, in which almost everyone exchanged questioning glances, until Itachi spoke up. "Sir," he began respectfully, "wouldn't it be faster and easier to just...assassinate--"

"Itachi, just because any heart that you may have is ice-cold steel," Pein scolded, "doesn't mean everyone can murder their family. Furthermore, it would be difficult to keep it quiet enough to avoid all suspicion, not to mention costly, whereas sending Blue-chan away would lessen the amount of money we have to spend on necessities long enough to build up a bit more money."

"Oh, come on," Hidan complained, "last I checked, we were fucking loaded, and I'd know, I'm partnered with our god-damned treasurer!"

Kakuzu shot Hidan a glare. "Those were ones that you were counting, remember?"

Hidan opened his mouth to protest, closed it, and opened it again to whine, "Are you fucking serious? I thought those were hundreds!"

"They're not," Kakuzu growled.

Hidan stood abruptly, slamming his hands on the table. "Damn it all, we're fucking broke!"

"Yes, we are," Pein agreed, convenience keeping him silent that he'd intercepted their bills for the last month to store the money safely, making everyone else believe that they were quite financially dependant on someone leaving for a while at the same time that it garaunteed Kai some funding on her little adventure, and convenince also kept him from menioning that Kai was an only child whose mother had already deceased. However, the reasons he had for lying, he thought and Kai agreed, were quite worthwhile, considering that the truth was probably not exactly Akatsuki-friendly. More so, this little secret would not very well survive in a league of S-ranked criminals, and Kai had decided that leaving until a time passed would likely keep this whole incident conveniently secret.

And so, some time before noon, Akatsuki stood in front of their home, lined up gravely except for Pein, standing a step in front of the center of the line, and Kai, facing Pein two steps in front of him as he muttered a farewell and she returned it. Then she turned around and walked off, wearing some relatively casual outit that she'd apparently kept in some corner of her closet for quite some time now, her flower subtly held in Pein's hand, soon to be brought back up to his room and left on her dresser, awaiting her return in nine long months...

Okay, how obvious is it? Meh. I'm not going to scream it, and if anyone wants to guess, it would be nice if you said so in PM rather that review, because I really don't know quite for sure if everyone knows it or not and it's technically not supposed to be so obvious...

Anyway. That's not all that I have planned for the sequel, but that's a lot of it, yeah, and...yeah. Be prepared for a little OCing upon the return of this story. Just a little, though ;- and I still need to figure out the exact details of how this thing's going to work...but, yeah! This is looking good so far!

...and...read my other stories:big shiney pleading eyes: pleeeeaaaase? My actual main OC story seems to have but one reader even though it's posted on three sites, and I find it really depressing, considering all the time/effort/thought/whatever else I put into it versus this one and how much attention it's gotten. It seems that the more I care about a work, the less everyone else does...although the more I think about it, the less fond I am of how I wrote then. Reading more fanfiction helped me become a better writer, I think, but I started really getting into it after I wrote some eighty thousand words...