Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making any money, and all the wonderful characters belong to the lovely JE

Rating: R

Warnings: References to LMT so consider yourself warned. I'm a babe. Not cupcake friendly, but no Joe bashing in any way.

Thank you very much Stayce for editing.

Title: Welcome Home

Healing

As I stepped off the elevator on the fifth floor, every head in the control room turned my way, causing my steps to falter. Maybe the four days I spent locked in my apartment with my cell phone off wasn't long enough. I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with people yet. I looked at the guys and they all gave me nice, polite smiles, but still, I was a little anxious. I hesitantly walked past Roy, Binkie, and Eddie to the far side of the room where Tank sat watching me.

"Welcome back, Ms. Stephanie," Tank said, smiling.

"Thanks, I think," I said, looking around nervously for Ranger. I hadn't seen or heard from him since we parted ways four days ago.

"Ranger told me to talk to you when I was ready to start again. Something about getting me set up."

"He talked to me about it," Tank said. "What exactly do you want to do now that you're back?"

"Uh … umm, well I'm not sure. What are my options?" I asked.

"It's pretty much up to you. You can do the searches, field work, control room monitors, all of them."

"I uh … I guess wherever you need me," I said.

He watched me for a beat. "Junior's heading out in 20 minutes to meet with a new client. I'll get you set up and you can head out with him," Tank said.

"Well I um … I'm not sure I'm quite ready to, I mean, I guess if that's what, but I just …" I babbled.

"Come on Steph!" Tank barked. "What's the matter with you? It's your life woman. I'm allowing you to choose what you're going to do. Make the damn choice. Tell me what you want to do. If you're not ready for field work, tell me."

My eyes started to well up with tears as I stepped back from Tank. I couldn't look him in the eyes. I'd never seen him mad before, and I managed to tick him off my first day back. Maybe I wasn't ready to be a RangeMan employee, yet. I took another step back and ran into a body. I spun around and came face to face with Binkie. He was watching me carefully, expression shielded.

"I hope you weren't thinking about going back to hide in your apartment," Binkie said.

What the … I took a step back from Binkie and spun back around to look at Tank. Who the hell did they think they were?

"Hey! If I wanna be in my apartment then I will. It's none of your fucking business," I shouted, stepping away from both guys. "And Tank, I don't want to do field work yet."

Both guys smiled.

"Now there's the Stephanie Plum we know," Tank said, leading me to my old cubby. "You can work on searches for now, and once you're comfortable with that again I'll start you on control room duty. I put some items you'll need in your top drawer."

I pulled open my top drawer and found my RangeMan ID, a new cell phone, stun gun, defense spray, cuffs, and a Sig Sauer 9 with an extra mag. I sighed. I'd forgotten the company policy about always carrying a gun. At least that was one good thing about not leaving the building. The gun could sit in my drawer, and I wouldn't get in trouble.

"I don't want to see that gun sitting in your drawer. Every man in this building has his gun on him at all times. There's no reason why you can't," Tank said, reading my mind. "I've also scheduled an hour in the shooting range every Wednesday. I know it's been a long time since you've shot a gun. Before I'll let you do field work I need to be sure you're comfortable shooting and carrying your gun. Loaded."

"I hate guns, Tank," I whined.

"I know and you don't have to like them. But you do need to respect them and know how to use them safely."

"Ranger really wants me to be in the range once a week?" I asked.

"Ranger left all your employment decisions to me."

I looked at him, my eyes widening. "Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it matters," I said. "Is he avoiding me?"

"It's what you wanted."

"What I wanted? I told him I needed space from him, Ella, and the guys, but now I'm working. I thought that when I came back … I." What did I think was going to happen? Did I really think that leaving my apartment meant I was ready to face Ranger? To have that talk, I'd been avoiding? Was I ready to hear what he had to say, and maybe get my heart broken even more, if that was possible?

Tank was watching me, his expression blank. "You thought what?"

"Nothing," I said, not looking at him.

I wasn't ready for Ranger. I was a big fat chicken. Whatever Ranger planned to tell me held more power than I was willing to admit. That power had me scared shitless.

"If you need anything let me know," Tank said, breaking my internal conversation. "We'll skip the gun range today since you're just getting back, but next week we have a date."

I gave him a slight nod and turned my attention to the computer monitor. I powered it on and reached for the first file.

"Lula would like to hear from you," Tank said, from the spot he hadn't vacated, yet. "You should give her a call."

"It's not that easy," I said my voice breaking slightly.

"Sure it is. You pick up the phone and call her," Tank said, walking away. He stopped after a few steps and looked back at me. "I'd have thought you'd know Lula better than that. She'd be the last person who would judge you."

I opened my mouth to explain that it wasn't about being judged, that it was about if she would even talk to me at all, but he was gone, and I was left staring at the blank computer screen, mentally yelling at myself for not being braver, for not taking a chance. But taking chances meant facing rejection, and I couldn't handle that at the moment. I'd deserve it after walking away from all my friends, but that didn't make it any easier to swallow. And just because Ranger accepted me back didn't mean Lula and Connie would. I wasn't even sure how Mary Lou felt about me at the moment, and I was afraid to find out. I didn't really ditch her. I did ditch a life that would bring us even closer together, though.

But for now I'd just concentrate on work. Nothing there could hurt me.

I opened the first file, and kept my head down, working silently through my first day back. I punched Jose R. Mendoza into the computer, pulling up his life history. I printed off all the intrusive information on him and moved on to the next file. I took a short lunch break in my apartment after completing the second file, and came back up to work on the last two files. I closed my computer down at five o'clock and headed back down to my apartment, where I ate dinner alone, watched a movie, and went to bed early.

RSRSRSRSRS

It was Friday and I'd just got back to my desk after having lunch down in my apartment like I'd done everyday for the past three weeks. I turned my monitor on and grabbed a file from my in-box, which magically filled up while I was away from my desk.

"Stephanie," Hal said from the speaker on my phone, "there's a call for you on line three."

"Hal, who is it?" I asked.

"Your mom," he told me.

I stared, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, at the blinking red light for line three. I hadn't talked to her once since I left Joe. My cell phone was still shut off, and nobody knew my RangeMan cell phone number but Mary Lou. I talked to her a few times a week, but I wasn't ready for my mom. I was finally starting to get on with my life. I didn't cry every night anymore, I was smiling again with ease, and I was even gossiping with the guys around the coffee pot in the morning. I didn't want to go back to being depressed, and answering that phone posed a threat of setting me back five steps.

"Can you tell her that I'm in a meeting or something?" I asked.

"Sure, Steph," Hal said on a sigh. "But pretty soon she's going to be breaking down the doors down trying to see you." And he hung up.

Didn't I know it! I was surprised she hadn't called yet or stopped by demanding for the guys to produce me. She was probably still furious with me up until two minutes ago. Probably I should've just talked to her since she was making the effort to call me. But you're a big fat chicken, Stephanie Plum, I told myself.

"Eventually, you're going to have to talk to her, Babe," Ranger said, leaning against my cubby wall.

I'd only seen Ranger once at the end of my first week back. We made eye contact and the corners of his lips tipped up just slightly. A double cheek kiss for Ranger. I gave him a small smile in return before he left. And here he was after two weeks of being in the wind. He was mouth watering sexy with his black on black corporate attire that was tailor made for him, showing off his best assets.

"I'll call her tonight," I said, leaning back in my chair watching him.

"How are you?" he asked me.

I smiled. "Better," I said.

"I'm glad to hear that," he said, pushing off from the cubby wall. "I have a meeting in a few minutes, but I wanted to see you before hand."

I didn't know what to say to that, but my stomach was dancing with nerves. Truthfully I'd missed him. I didn't feel like space was what I needed from him any longer. I wasn't sure if I was ready to open up with him, yet, but I did want to be able to see him and talk to him and touch him! I smiled at him letting him know I was glad he stopped by. I really wanted to see him, too.

"Babe," he said and left my cubby.

"Ranger," I shouted, stopping him before he was too far from me.

I stood up as he walked back to me. He stopped within touching range. He lifted his eyebrow otherwise his expression was blank.

"Are you free later?" I asked.

"Free?"

"For dinner?"

He smiled. Not his 200-watter, but certainly more than a tip of the corner of his lips. "I am," he said.

"Six o'clock in your apartment?" I asked.

Ranger reached up and fingered a curl. The gesture was very intimate, and nearly caused my heart to stop beating all together. God I missed him! It was crazy how he could tie me up in knots and overheat me simultaneously. I stepped closer to him, and he pulled me into a hug. The tears were flowing down my cheeks, and for once I welcomed them. It felt so good to be in his arms again. He pulled back a little after a minute or so. There was concern written all over his face, but I smiled to reassure him.

"What's with the tears, Babe?" he asked, brushing them gently off my cheeks.

"I've missed you," I confessed.

He dropped a kiss to my forehead and nuzzled my hair next to my ear. He didn't say anything, but words weren't necessary. I understood his actions.

"Six o'clock," Ranger said with a last squeeze and left for his meeting.