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A/N: I'm updating second time this week! Woohoo! Thank you for all the reviews. Keep going on like this, seriously, you guys make me write even more than planned. And I've got plotbunnies run around in my head. I love it! Thank you so much for all of your support!
A World Made of Angry People
Everything happened so quickly, Jared and Jacob had appeared out of nowhere grabbing Paul and pulling him away from Dante, who dropped to the floor unceremoniously. Paul didn't struggle but I did see he was shaking, quivering actually, and he was taken from the cafeteria while I just stood there. I wasn't quite aware of Summer and Kim pulling me away from the whole scene until I felt the wind blow on my face. Then did I realize that I was outside.
I've never been threatened before, and I wasn't sure how to react to all of this. One side told me to ignore everything and let it go and just act like it was a normal day, the other side told me to panic while another part of me told me to think rationally. If I'm honest; panicking sounds better than all the other things, even though I knew I should think rationally.
I know that Dante is serious, but I inflicted it all on myself. If I had just kept my mouth shut I wouldn't be in this situation the in the first place, but I have the tendency to always realize these things when all is done and has happened. Then I mostly panic, but none of the situation had ended up in a physical fight. I also knew that Paul was screwed. If the principal finds out, which he will, there'll be hell to pay. I understand Paul isn't the only one to blame believe me. But the thing is; I'm scared now.
Scared for Paul, that I've dragged him into something he wasn't involved in, and that I had forced him to show me the side I never wanted to see. When I had told Dante; that I had wished that I had testified against him so he would be locked up, I did mean it. He had destroyed Lily's life and not to mention he left a mark on mine. I know that the whole thing isn't about me, but I was indirectly involved. I've seen, first handed, the result of Dante's anger. I know what he is capable of.
"Oh God what have I done?" I moaned, as I hid my face in my hands. I felt someone shake my shoulders. I didn't react until someone gently pulled my hands away from my face.
"Julie. I need you to tell me something important," Paul's voice sounded urgent and I forced myself to look in his eyes. His nose wasn't bleeding anymore and neither was the cut on his forehead.
"I'm so sorry Paul," I said tears blurring my vision; "I didn't mean to drag you into this. I just never meant to say those things to him. But I couldn't help myself. If-If you kn-knew w-what he d-did to Lily." I started to lash out in anger and kicked the bench that was next to me.
"Hey, calm down." Paul soothed. For someone who wasn't good with crying women he was sure as hell good with angry people. Maybe he recognised something.
"No you don't understand." I cried out in frustration. How could I tell him that I put him at risk? Well you don't tell anyone that. You try to fix these things before that person finds out, and that's what I'm going to do; I'm going to fix it. I just need to find out how.
"Make me understand." Paul responded grabbing hold of my shoulders. The anger replaced it self with exhaustion and desperation. I let myself be lead to the bench and sat down.
"I can't tell you." I muttered. "I don't want to."
Paul looked hurt, but at least I was honest and didn't beat around the bush, but Paul also didn't give up that easily. Something he had proved over and over again.
"Why not, is it about trust?" He asked as he crouched in front of me. I shook my head.
"No, not trust. I just don't want to." Suddenly Paul lashed out again. I swear that the guy is bipolar, or at least P.M..
"Damn it Jules, didn't I prove to you just now that you can trust me?" He yelled. I got up angry for making such a stupid assumption. He didn't know anything.
"Punching someone and forcing him to back off isn't really a way to gain someone's trust, Paul!" I fired back. Why didn't he see that it didn't involve him but it was all me, why don't men see that?
"That's rich coming from you, Julie! If you had kept your mouth shut in the first place, he'd known his place, but again you seem to screw things up!" He responded. His voice was raised and one of his hands was shaking. I wondered why he was shaking, was it because of the cold, or anger?
"What is that supposed to mean, you're saying that I can't do things right? Is that it?" I yelled back. I hadn't realized that I had raised my hand and had lashed out again, only this time I hit him in the chest. He didn't flinch; in fact he didn't seem to notice.
"I'm trying to understand Julie. I'm trying really hard, but if you're not going to tell me, I'm seriously not going to bother. It's not worth it! You're not worth it." He spat and he turned around leaving me alone with Summer and Kim, who had watched the whole scene in silence.
To say that I was hurt was an understatement. I was devastated, when he told me that I wasn't worth it, I felt betrayed. Paul was the one guy I was ready to fall for, hell, I've already fallen for him, and him telling me that I'm not worth it can be taken in so many different ways, one of them more painful than the other.
I hadn't realized that it had begun to rain, and that I was positively drenched, but I didn't care for that. I took my bag out of Kim's hands and walked to my car. I took out the keys and quickly started the engine. I wasn't staying there when Paul practically rejected me in public.
I was such an idiot, an idiot to think that Paul would really be different then other guys. You see; he may be different then other boys, but when it comes to it they'll drop you. I mean; I understand his resentment at the time, his aggravation is justified but he shouldn't have said that I wasn't worth it, because he has no idea what those words mean. How much they hurt me...
It's different when my father said those words, because I've grown immune to it, but when someone, a certain person you've grown to trust says those words; it's like being stabbed in the back, and I was stabbed, the knife was still there and he was still twisting it.
As I made a turn, I unconsciously slammed my fist on the steering wheel. I suppose my hand is bruised by now. I didn't bother to check. Paul's words just echoed in my head continuously, like a prayer.
As I unconsciously made the car run faster, I saw a blur of grey. It was fast, I squinted my eyes and saw it in front of my car, I stepped on the brakes. The screeching sound was heard from my car and I turned the wheel to the right as my car came to a stop. I was surprised I managed to avoid the grey wolf that had appeared in front of my car so quickly. I didn't see it in the first place...
For a few seconds, the only thing that could be heard was my heavy breathing as I clutched my chest, hoping to keep my heart inside my ribcage. I looked at my watch and saw that it was only ten past one. The day had only just really started and I've made a mess of it already.
It must be a gift I suppose.
^*^
The next day at school was hell. No, that's an understatement. It was so much more. I hadn't seen Dante Williamson yet, but neither had I seen Paul. So maybe they were suspended but those happy thoughts were banned the second I saw Dante with his friends in the cafeteria. His black eye had worsened and I couldn't help but feel smug about it. I was glad he hadn't seen me. I wasn't quite sure what to expect.
"Julie." I heard a familiar voice and when I looked up it was Seth. He had a worried expression as he approached me. Before I knew it he had me in a bear hug, practically making it impossible for me to breathe.
"Can't breathe," I choked and he immediately loosened his hold on me. He kept his arms around me though.
"Are you alright? Jared told me what happened. I can't believe it, are you alright? He didn't touch you or anything, did he? I'm going to kill him! You just wait here, I'll punch-" Seth growled as he started to rant.
"Seth." I interrupted. I'd rather not hear the tail of that sentence. I'm sure my breakfast would come right out and I'd rather keep all of that down.
"Sorry." Seth apologized, but the murderous expression was still in his eyes, and it was enough to make me recall the events of yesterday. I hadn't slept well that night, thoughts of Paul and Dante were haunting me, and by the time I managed to fall a sleep, a nightmare, woke me up, I won't tell you what happened in that dream because it's like repeating the same thing over and over again.
Suddenly tears started to blur my eyes. Then they came and spilled over, staining my cheeks. I hated the fact that I was so overly sensitive, but somehow it seemed appropriate to feel like this. How would you feel, if someone who practically ruined your friend's life threatens to give you the same treatment? Well believe me; what I'm feeling is justified.
"Can we talk?" I looked up startled. To my surprise, and I'm sad to say, my dismay, I saw Paul stand next to Seth. He looked at me expectantly, my eyes immediately hardened when seeing him. I gave him a glare while I could see Seth look at Paul and me differently.
"Did something… happen?" Seth asked uncertainly.
"Ask him." I spat, still glaring. Paul's eyes hardened too and I mentally prepared myself for the blow.
"Me? Julie, come on, don't you blame it on me, I saved you, remember? Besides, I'm not the one with trust issues." I gasped at the low blow and I immediately stamped my foot.
"Did she just stamp her foot?" Seth said looking at Paul.
"I can't believe it." I ignored them both. I only had eye for my own problems and it seems that Paul wasn't taking it seriously at all.
"Saving me? I didn't ask to be saved. I don't need your saving," I huffed while I realized that more tears had spilled over and were now staining my cheeks, again. Paul who was taking it all calmly, softened when he saw my tears. He had a weakness it seemed; and it was tears. I wondered if I could abuse it...
"Jules I-" Paul began but I didn't want to listen.
"Don't call me Jules!" I snapped as I brushed away my tears.
"Fine I won't call you Jules then," Paul bit back. Wait... I didn't want that...
"Fine!" I yelled.
"Fine," He yelled back. By this point there were people were staring at us, and to add up more to the drama, I lifted my foot and kicked him in the shins. He hissed and cursed but he didn't look in pain though...
"Guys, time out," Seth interrupted and he looked at me and Paul like we were crazy. "People are starting to stare, and honestly you're scaring me, why the sudden violence?"
"Ask him!" I pointed at Paul and suddenly he started to shake and before I knew it he had slammed his fist in the nearby wall. I screamed when I realized what he was doing.
"Dude, stop it!" Seth yelled pulling Paul away and I just stood there while I saw Seth say things to Paul as he tried to calm himself down. I wondered if I went too far, sometimes I don't know what I'm doing and I cross a line. I didn't mean to though, it just happened.
"Are you okay?" I asked quietly when they returned again.
"You know, you're mood swings are giving me a whiplash," Paul answered honestly. I knew it was coming, but I bit my tongue so I wouldn't respond. I tugged at his arm and looked at his hand. It was a bit red and bruised, but that was it. I gently ran my fingers over his warm hand and apologized when he winced.
"Sorry." I said truthfully.
"Me too, I didn't mean what I said yesterday. I wasn't thinking," He said. I shrugged, because I didn't feel sorry for what I did yesterday. It felt right at that point and I may have regretted my interference but I did feel like I should've said something.
"It's okay. We all say things we don't mean." I responded.
"True, but I may have taken it slightly too far. It wasn't my intention to hurt you, really. It's just..." Paul trailed off.
"I can be frustrating? I know that," I finished. Paul gave me a dazzling smile and suddenly he took his warm hand in mine. I immediately warmed up from the inside.
"Friends," He offered, I managed to hide my disappointment.
"Friends," I stated and I smiled back at him ignoring the little pang in my heart.
"Both of you are so strange." I heard Seth mumble as he took off in the other direction. I rolled my eyes at him and crossed my arms looking at Paul expectantly.
"You know. Fighting you is fun," Paul suddenly said. I raised my eyebrows in disbelieve. Was he kidding?
"Why," I asked. Why was that fun? I hated it.
"You're reaction is always so predictable," I gasped at the obvious insult and I raised my hand to punch his arm.
"See," He pointed out and the only thing I could do at that moment was stick out my tongue. I was glad we had settled our differences because fighting Paul wasn't something I was planning to do in the future though I knew it was inevitable. Fighting Paul was so easy, and somewhere deep down inside I did like it that he was so responsive to everything I said. It was almost like he really cared.
We were one of the last who trailed into our history class; a hand prevented me from going inside. I gasped at the sudden movement, and took a step backwards right into Paul's chest. I felt his muscles tense at the sudden connection and as I trailed the arm, I realized that it was the one person I didn't want to see, Dante Williamson.
"What do you want?" I gasped. He looked at me with anger in his dark eyes. His eyes were so different from Paul's. His were warm, and I could easily drown in them, but it was like Dante didn't have an ounce warmth in him. He was rotten right through the core.
"A talk," He growled and before I knew it, he had his hand wrapped around my wrist yanking me away from Paul. I slammed into the wall, and I started to panic. I raised my foot, for the second time today, and slammed my heel into his foot, he let me go. Paul pulled me away from him; I managed to fall on the floor, of course! I silently pleaded for him to not make a scene right in front of a classroom while there was a teacher. They managed to escape the last time, but that didn't mean they would be so lucky this time.
"Gentlemen," I never thought I'd be so happy to hear a teacher's voice "Is there a problem?" Mr Lewis continued as Paul moved away from Dante, back to my side. He pulled me back to my feet and I was astounded at his strength. I wasn't a skinny girl, wasn't fat either, but he seemed to pull all my, 135 pounds, up in a single motion.
"No nothing, sir," I said quietly while I tried to drag Paul to the back of the classroom. He, reluctantly, let me pull him in, and as I ignored whatever Mr Lewis was saying to Dante, I found a seat to sit down. Paul plopped down on the seat next to me and he put his hands on his table. I reached over and put one hand over his.
"Don't worry, he's just angry," I don't think I've ever said something so inadequate. He gave me a long stare, and I couldn't help but feel stupid. I pulled away my hand, but when Paul took it back, I wondered if the whole thing between us was platonic...
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