Pirates of the Lily Pad
James Blueingham had gone to the theater on a school field trip. Under the guidance of their teachers, the children had boarded a large bus and driven to a small theater, where some actors performed The Merry Wives of Windsor, a play of Shakespearean origin "mellowed" for children. The play was enjoyed by those in attendance, especially certain scenes (several children had laughed in the scene where Falstaff, in order not to be discovered, disguised himself as a fat maid), so James's mother took him to see other plays, before the love for the stage was ousted, in the boy's heart, by the love for the stars.
Years had passed, and now, in a world far from home, the boy was using what little he remembered of theater and acting for a friendly discussion with an old and failed frog actor.
"Bassanio obviously tries to talk his friend out of accepting the deal, but Antonio is confident that he can settle the debt, thanks to the riches that are supposed to arrive with three ships of his..."
"Let me guess," Hop Pop said with an air of curiosity, "The ships end up lost."
"That's right! Soon after, news comes that the three ships are lost at sea, so Antonio can no longer pay the debt and avoid...the terrible deal."
"It's a very fascinating play, although I personally would never have risked that much. I mean, I understand he was in love with the girl, but borrowing from a moneylender… is never a good idea."
"That's the drama moving up the latter part of the play," James continued, narrating. "All of his friends try to do what they can to pay the debt in his place or give him more time, but the moneylender is so spiteful because his daughter left-"
A belligerent shout, the sound of swords and clubs clashing against armor, interrupted the speech. A few floors below, in one of the subterranean rooms, someone was fighting with great fury.
"Wow, Sasha and the others sure are getting fierce into their sword training downstairs." James smiled with an amused expression. "How long have they been downstairs smashing robots and avoiding traps?"
"Since they returned home," the old frog replied drily. "I don't understand: when she walks in, Sasha cannot stop talking about how tiring her day working for Felicia was, the clients were obnoxious and how she needs rest. Then, once she goes down there, she is no longer tired."
"Well, I guess either Sasha overestimates her tiredness, or she is very determined to keep her daily training and disregards her bodily needs." The British boy laughed, "Anyway, she does have a job outside, and you agreed on cutting her from farm work. Why are you so worried, now?"
"It's just… I am supposed to worry about her. That's what we do with kids-"
The door opened, and Marcy and Maddie walked in, the wizard frog carrying spell ingredients and items for potion making, Marcy holding a small bag of fresh bread.
"We're back!" The dark-haired girl announced. "We even brought today's bread, as usual."
"That'll be six coppers, by the way." Maddie added, making Hop Pop spur of indignation.
"Say what? That's double than the usual!" The old frog protested, "Maddie, why did your father raise the price all of a sudden?"
Because someone adopted Marcy before he could do the same, the blue-skinned frog thought. Did you seriously think Felicia was the only one upset for attempting to steal my student and best friend?
The next day, the enlarged Plantar family was having lunch outside, taking advantage of the warm, sunny day to set a table under a large lonely tree near the farm and Hop Pop, taking inspiration in the nature around them, decided to show off his newly boosted acting skills.
"Your virtue is my privilege: for that it is not night when I do see your face, therefore I think I am not in the night;" Hop Pop declaimed as James, Marcy and even Sprig looked at him, "Nor doth this wood lack worlds of company, for you in my respect are all the world: Then how can it be said I am alone, When all the world is here to look on me?"
"Amazing, Hop Pop!" James applauded for him, "There is still space for improvement, but overall, I think it was quite a decent representation of A Midsummer Night's Dream."
"Yeah, I admit that was good," Amelia nodded in turn. Like James, she was not stranger to theatrical plays, as Japan was known to have produced some of the most popular tragedies on theatrical stage.
"Thank you, thank you," Hop Pop made a reverence, as Anne and Jacob walked over, bringing today's menu: Thai's Cricket Satay (now serving at Stumpy's), well fried and served with an homemade vegetable sauce, the penetrating and delicious scent that made their mouths water.
"Were you talking about theatre?" Jacob said.
"Yup, James helped me nurture my skills and showed me some of your world's most famous plays." Hop Pop said, proud of his own development, "If I keep going, my dreams could flourish once again."
"Once again?" Sasha was quick to notice the hidden content, "You were an actor once?"
"Yep. Before I was a farm frog, your Hop Pop had dreams to become a popular actor. I was seriously considered for several lead roles," he shrugged, feeling sadness once again. "Next life, I guess."
"Who said that?" Marcy interjected, "I think your skills are quite good, you just need to refine them a bit. And who said you cannot be a farmer and an actor?"
"Yeah, if finding the hidden rooms of the Plantar's family taught us something," Sasha smiled at her friend, "is that no one should ever give up on their dreams. I mean, you had warriors, seers, merchants and scientists, why cannot you have an actor too?"
"Anne, are you ok?" Sprig said, noticing the girls' weird silence and uneasy expression. "Is something bothering you?"
"Uh, not really. It's just that, I don't have a good experience with theatre."
"Anna-Banana, what do you mean?"
"Sorry guys, but once, when I was little, I was in a school play once, and it was awful. I still have memories of that…" she said in a dark tone, as recollections of that fateful day came back at her.
(…)
A younger Anne was standing in the middle of the stage, dressed in a tooth costume, smiling sweetly at the audience, as she started to sing and dance. Behind her, several other kids, all dressed in identical costumes, moved in harmony to the star of the play.
" I'm a tooth, That's the truth -"
Yet, the song was interrupted abruptly as kid-Anne tripped and collided with the large wooden drawing of a toothbrush to her right, knocking it down, leading to the stage light to fall from above and setting the stage on fire, as all the kids screamed in panic.
(…)
"Four out of five dentists agreed, I was traumatized for life."
"Seriously, Anna-Banana? You were traumatized by a play?"
"Mar-Mar, I was six!"
"But that wasn't the only play you leaded in, Boonchuy," Sasha intervened, her eyes gleaming with excitation, "Do you remember the time our school decided to make a play of Peter Pan? You were chosen to be the lead actress."
"No way!" Sprig, Hop Pop and Polly almost jumped out of surprise as they heard that, "Anne, you were the lead actress?"
"Hey, it was still a school play. Sasha was the main antagonist, Marcy was supposed to help in the backstage and Jacob, well…"
(…)
"Sasha, please!" Anne, dressed in Peter Pan's green costume, struggled to cope with the hyper-enthusiastic assault of her friend, wearing Captain's Hook iconic red pirate costume, "Does this have to be this intense? This is only supposed to be practice, and I have a tiny dagger, you have a long sword-"
"Sorry, Anne," The blonde didn't stop, treating the mock fight like it was real, "but you got to practice it like it was real. The real Captain Hook would have cut you already!"
"The REAL Captain Hook would be missing one of her hands already."
"Hey, I'm not using it, right? Now watch your flank, if I hit like this-"
Unfortunately, Anne realized in the nick of the time of Sasha's latest mock plunge of her sword and dodged aside, so Sasha ended up hitting another girl, who was giving the back to the duo, and was too focused on the game on her hands to notice the attack.
"Eeep!" Marcy cried as she heard the sword hitting her back, just as a similar scene played on the PSP on her hands.
"You backstabbed Marcy!" Anne was the first to rush to help her friend, who held her hand on the back, feeling the sting.
"Sorry, Mar-Mar! I guess I really got too much into practice."
"Don't be sorry, Sash," the cute dark-haired nerd replied, "I was distracted and didn't notice you. Welp, luckily it was just a wooden stage sword and not a flaming sword; there was NO WAY I would have survived with that."
As Marcy explained, she showed the small technological item in her hands, showing a small scene with the bad guy impaling one the heroine's friends in the back. It was a scene in the game, and this, nothing was real, yet it felt so…disturbing.
"Well, if someone DID backstab you with a flaming sword, I would get you to safety and heal you back to health."
"Come on, Anna-Banana. How would you stop the same bad guy from impaling you as well?"
"Hey, that's what I am here for!" Sasha interjected, "If someone even dared to attempt to hurt you, I'd cut him in pieces! And give Anne the time to bring you to safety!"
"That would not work with a flaming sword, Sash. Even if by some chance there would be a healer or medical equipment nearby, my own internal organs would be too damaged for me to still be alive." The girl said with nonchalance, apparently uncaring about the fact that she was talking about herself, "If I was stabbed from sternum to torso, it would cut through part of my heart, the lungs and my spine, the trachea, the esophagus, the pectoral muscles and everything else. Plus, without the sternum, my own rib cage could be open like a box. The only upside would be that, with a flaming sword, it would cauterize the wound so I would not bleed. Anyway, with such a wound, I would never survive unless I am immediately treated with an instant all-healing ray… or I am the character of a cartoon and I got plot armor."
"Then I would have no choice but to avenge you," Anne nodded into the joke. "I'd probably feel so much anguish that I would activate my inner secret superpowers and go Super-Saiyan on the guy who killed you."
"I guess you mean… super Say-Anne?"
The girls laughed, unrealizing that someone else was close, and was approaching them (more specifically Sasha) from the back.
"Huh, Sash?" Anne asked, the first to notice it, "Do you hear something?"
"What do you mean?"
Then, all three of them heard it. A low rhythm, becoming louder and louder, like a pendulum or a ringtone, or a…
Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock…
"Uh," Sasha started to feel nervous, "Remind me, who was supposed to play-"
DRIIIN! The ringtone of an alarm clock blasted right behind Sasha, making her jump forward and into her friends' arms out of surprise, as a teenager boy, dressed in a crocodile costume and holding an old alarm clock in his hands, laughed wildly.
"Jacob! That wasn't funny!" Sasha replied in anger, as he realized who was under Tic-Tock Croc's disguise.
"Oh yes, it was!" The boy continued, unable to stop laughing, "Check this out: Mrs. Vaughan gave me this to use in every scene Tic-Tock Croc is supposed to appear, and she even taught me how to charge it."
"And you decided to use this to mess with us?" Anne grimaced.
"Hey, I'm the crocodile. I am the one supposed to eat the Captain."
"And I'm the main character. That means you cannot eat her until I win."
"Kids, kids, calm down." Mrs. Vaughan, the school teacher in charge of the play, said as she walked on the stage, "And you, Miss Wu, may I remind you your role backstage is to help the main actors, not to be distracted by your game. Do I have to reiterate that?"
"No, Mrs. Vaughan, sorry."
"Good. Let's try the scene once again, I don't want anything to go wrong on the play's opening day."
(…)
"…of course, on the day of the play, nothing went according to plan."
"Last but not least, Marbles was so engrossed in her game that she tuned out Anne's cries for assistance, leading to her falling right among the spectators."
"Sorry for that, Anna-Banana. At least, it was the most interesting play the school ever had, according to Principal Murphy."
"I think that was because Jacob jumped the gun and acted too soon, and thus the small scene devolved into a large fight between him and Sasha that people believed it was scripted."
"The issue still stands, Marbles," Jacob said, looking at her. "Every time you focus on something, you end up tuning out everything else. Remember how many times Anne and Sasha had to protect you?"
"Well, it wasn't-"
"Earlier that same day, you almost broke the ice cream machine because you forgot to let go of the lever. And later, you ended up needing to be rescued as you walked among five-hundred escaped poisonous snakes." Anne grimaced. "The worst Saturday of my life."
"I know what that means," Jacob nodded, as he remembered similar experiences as well.
"That's called being in the zone, Anne. It's pretty much my superpower."
"Superpower? I would call it a curse."
"Amelia, come on! True Marcy had a higher chance to end up in trouble, but-"
Apparently, destiny had a sick sense of humor. Like making it rain just after you finished washing your car, having the teacher give a surprise test the same day you decide to forget to study, or making events happen in such a domino effect that leaves everything you say with an ironic aftertaste. In this case, the tree where the Plantars and their adopted kids were having lunch was old and sick, and one of its branches was quite rotten (also thanks to the action of some termite-like bug).
And just then, the branch, already unsafe and barely attached to the rest of the tree, detached completely with a ripping sound, and fell down, right onto the kids unprotected heads, knocking them down.
"Anne!" Sprig jumped in shock, as he saw his best friends get knocked down, alongside with the other girl.
"Are they ok?" James (the only human lucky enough to not get hit) asked Hop Pop, as the old frog rushed to check.
"They're just knocked out," Hop Pop was quick to reassure his grandchildren and remaining adoptive kid. "Quick, James, set up the couch to lay them out and get blankets; Sprig, Polly, you give me a hand."
Ten minutes later, the five of them (the girls plus James) were lying on the couch, which James and Hop Pop took care to "enlarge" by adding a couple of mattresses, like the time Anne, Marcy & Sasha ended up taking it as their temporary bed after the burrow bugs infestations, a couple of blankets covering them and keeping them warm, a poultice of warm water on each forehead.
"What do you think, Hop Pop," Sprig asked in a worried tone, "Are they going to be okay?"
"Yes, Amelia promised me she was going to bring me on another adventure today!" Polly protested.
"They're fine," their grandfather simply said, as he checked on them for the –nth time, "They just took a beating. They will have a severe headache for a couple of days, but other than that, there should be no other side effects.
At that moment, Sasha blinked her eyes, then opened them. Noticing this, James was the first to approach.
"Sasha, are you all right?" the boy asked with a face full of joy, "I was worried-"
"Villain! How dare you hit my person?"
Before James could react to the unexpected words (or even show his surprise), Sasha grabbed him by the arm, and with a violent movement lifted him up and threw him at Hop Pop, then stood up suddenly.
"Where, what kind of place is this? And where is my overcoat? Mr. Smee, where are you?"
"Aye aye captain!" Jacob said rising in turn, a strange light in his eyes, "What are your orders?"
"Where is my crew?" Said Sasha looking around as if she had gone crazy. "Where is my ship? What kind of a place is this? But, that's..."
Sasha's eyes settled on Anne, and as she painfully tried to stand up, James realized that her gaze was a far cry from the classic look Sasha used with her friend. It was a look, full of hatred and evil.
"Peter Pan!"
Hearing such a name, Anne jumped to her feet, Marcy hiding behind her, while Amelia rolled onto her side.
"I knew you were behind this, you brat!"
"Hook? I'm not sure what you're up to, but don't think you've got me trapped!"
"Peter..." Marcy murmured, with a worried expression.
"Don't worry, little Wendy, I got this."
"Hook, you did wrong when you chose to kidnap me!" Amelia said, even her tone of voice in stark contrast to her usual personality. "My father, the chieftain, will never forgive this affront."
"Tiger Lily, your father does not scare me at all. Bring it on so I can run you through with my sword!"
In an impromptu standoff, both sides faced each other for a couple of seconds, before Anne (with Marcy and Amelia) rushed to the window, crashing through it and trying to get away.
"Tinkerbell, where are you? Tinkerbell?"
"It's no use, we cannot fly! Something's wrong!"
"Ah, that's our chance! Mr. Smee, follow me: today, we end Peter Pan's life, once and for all!"
Only after all five of them had left, the Plantars (and James) managed to regain understanding of their situation.
"What the frog happened?"
"If I have to guess," James said, as he realized what kind of crazy, silly cartoon-like event had befallen them, "the tree branch that fell on their heads ended up making them believe to be the characters of that play."
"Oh, is that?"
"Guys, seriously, you don't sound that shocked."
"Actually, is something we have already seen happen on some occasions." Hop Pop clarified, "Do you remember the time a book fell on my head and I was convinced I was that old character from the play, kids?"
"Huh-uh."
"I don't think anyone in Wartwood could ever forget that day." Polly looked aside, "Wait, is that what happened to Anne and the others?"
"Afraid so," James said. "From what I was able to understand, Sasha now thinks she's Captain Hook while Jacob is his second-in command Mr. Smee, Anne is Peter Pan, Marcy is Wendy Darling and Amelia is Tiger Lily."
"Huh?" All three Plantars looked at him with a confused expression. James realized that, since no one told them about the story, they had no idea who those characters were.
"It's another play from our world," the boy sighed, proceeding with his explanation. "I'd love to tell you the plot, but right now, we have bigger issues. We need to find out Anne and the others, preferably before they end up hurting themselves or someone else."
"Let's go then!" Sprig grabbed Polly, jumping out of the already-broken window as to rush behind. James looked at Hop Pop.
"Pop, Sprig, Polly and I will try to find them back and try to contain them. While we're gone, can you check among your books, to see if there is something we can use to heal them?"
"It won't be easy, as I'll have to check thoroughly," the old frog replied, pondering about the question, "However, I already have a couple of ideas. Whenever you return, I'll let you know."
"Good, then we just have to find our friends, and hope they didn't to something too much stupid in the meanwhile…"
(…)
Me and my big mouth, James thought with an exasperated expression, as the three of them (Sprig, Polly and himself) reached Wartwood. From what the British kid was able to see, his "amnesiac" friends had already been there, and they had left devastation on their path.
"What the frog was happening?" Toadstool marched toward them, an angry scowl on his face, several citizens of Wartwood (and Toadie) behind him. "Your so-called friends devastated my beautiful town!"
"They ransacked my shop of clothes and garments!"
"One of them freed all the fireflies, looking for something called a "Tinkerbell".
"The other two stole two swords."
"The blonde-furred one even went into my office, and menaced me while I was counting the money I was planning to steal," Toadstool said, before noticing the looks people were giving to him, "I mean, save, save my money in a secure place where no one could steal it."
"There is a reason for this," Sprig hurried to say, "Earlier, they were hit by a falling branch of a tree, and now they think they are characters from a play."
"Not again!" Several Wartwood citizens (including Toadstool, who put his hands on the head as he felt a migraine blowing out of proportions already) said at the same time, shocking James with their bluntness. It was clear, from their words and their expression, that such an event happened already, more than once.
"Afraid so," the boy nodded, trying to focus on the most important issue, "Right now, Sasha thinks she's a pirate captain, so I guess it is logical she decided to go after money, and that Anne is her mortal enemy. Thus…"
A dry noise, as of stuff thrown on the ground in bulk, caught their attention. A few seconds later, and Anne and Marcy, followed closely by Jacob and Sasha, exited the building to their right.
Hey, but where did they find the time to stop by a tailor in the few minutes we were apart, thought James as he saw that his friends were no longer dressed in their classic everyday clothes. On the contrary, each of them was now wearing a suit suited to their "role."
Sasha was in a red, pirate captain's outfit, wore black boots on her feet, had a large hat on her head, and held a sword in her right hand (while her left hand, for obvious reasons, was stationary and unused); Jacob wore a white shirt with horizontal blue stripes and had a red bandana covering his hair; Anne wore a green dress made of leaves and cheap fabric, a hat with a leaf on her head, and "elf" footwear, while Marcy wore a long blue tunic, a bow on her head. Amelia was not in sight, either because she was still inside the store, or perhaps because she was elsewhere.
"You can't escape me Peter Pan! Your powers don't work in this place, so you can't fly!"
"I don't need to fly to escape you, Hook! And without your crew, you are not as dangerous!"
"Insolent brat! Step forward so I can slice you."
Sasha lunged forward, her sword clashing against Anne's small dagger, but she managed with clear skill to withstand the rushing attack as Marcy/Wendy helped her. At one point, an overly impetuous attack by Sasha/Hook gave Anne/Pan a chance to push her back with a kick. Fortunately, Jacob/Smee was behind her and quickly grabbed her.
"Are you all right, captain?"
"I'll be better when I cut off that brat's head and hang it from the mast of my ship!"
Cut off her head? thought James in horror, Hang her from the ship's mast?
It was then, that a moment of cold realization hit the boy: Peter Pan and Hook were sworn enemies, and they had no compunction about trying to kill each other. From what little James remembered, Hook had tried over and over to kill Peter, while Peter managed to kill Hook for real at the end of the story, by dropping him into the water and being devoured by the monstrous crocodile with an alarm clock in his stomach. Of course, the Disney cartoon had filed down many details, but the implied meaning remained the same.
And now that Sasha & Anne believed they were Captain Hook and Peter Pan, neither of them had any hesitation in trying to kill each other, or cause serious injury. This meant that the more time they spent in this state, the higher the risk that one of them (or perhaps all of them) would get hurt.
Anne threw herself to the side, falling right in front of James as the various frogs in the crowd dispersed, trying not to get caught up in this confrontation. The boy tried to get up, to find Sprig and Polly again, but a hand grabbed him from behind.
"YOU!" Anne's voice rang loudly in a strong tomboyish accent. "You're the guy from before! What kind of a place is this? What are these monsters? Why are we not in Neverland? Where is Tinkerbell?"
James searched desperately for an answer. The simplest solution would have been to simply tell her the truth, that they had suffered a blow to the head, and that in reality she and the others were just a group of human kids, trapped against their will in a world of talking frogs because of a magic box. But even if he had, would they have believed him? Or more likely, would they have just thought he was trying to trick them?
Fortunately for him, the sound of a hissing sound, and an arrow sticking in the wall of the house, were enough to divert their attention away from him.
"Peter, Wendy!" Amelia's voice rang out, drawing his attention. She, like the others, was wearing clothes that were very different from what she normally wore. In her case, the girl who had dreamed of being a samurai was now dressed in a brownish-green tunic, had a sash adorned with feathers (where she had found them, James could not imagine), and wielded a bow. A crude but very effective copy of Tiger Lily, the daughter of the Indian chieftain whom Peter was friends with and whom, throughout the story, he rescued from Hook's clutches.
"We must retreat! We have to go back in the forest, now!"
"Mr. Smee! Don't just stand there, you must stop them!"
"I'm coming captain! I'm coming!"
As his still-amnesiacs friends left, one group pursuing the other, James jerked up, as Sprig, Polly and the various Wartwood citizens came out of their temporary refuges.
"What-what the frog was that?" Mrs. Croaker said, dumbfolded.
"Like I told you earlier," James rushed to explain. "They think they are characters from a play from our world: Peter Pan, the never-aging boy who lives in a place called Neverland, his friends and his most irreducible enemy, the pirate Captain Hook, alongside his faithful mook Mr. Smee."
"But what was that Tinkerbell they were talking about?"
"Tinkerbell, that's the name of a little fairy who is Peter's best friend in the book, and whose magical powder allows Peter's friends to fly on their own."
"A fairy with a magical powder?" Maddie shrugged, hearing this, "That's ridiculous."
Said the frog who can use spells and curses, "Anyway, we must neutralize and capture them before they end up hurting each other."
"What do you mean, we must?" Toadstool looked at him with an irritated expression, "Those creatures are your friends, so deal with them yourself."
"Hey, don't talk about my adoptive sister that way!" Ivy protested, as Felicia stopped her from attacking Toadstool (he would have deserved it, true, but this was not the right moment).
"The issue is much bigger than that!" Sprig said as well. "Haven't you seen them fighting? Sasha was clearly attempting to kill Anne!"
"And Anne in turn pushed Sasha away with no worry about her own safety as well."
"And that's bad because…?"
"Toadstool." James said, looking at the fat toad with a fully determined expression, "As long as they believe themselves to be the characters from the story, they have no qualm about trying to kill each other. They'll fight fiercely, and Wartwood will be caught in the middle. The collateral damage will be…incalculable."
"And if shops and business gets too damaged, the townsfolk will no longer be able to pay their taxes." Polly concluded with a grin.
The large toad mayor was taken back for a moment, as the implications of the situations dawned before him.
Hook,
With the money he was planning to embezzle already stolen, and the city damaged by the humans' amnesiac warfare, where he was going to find the money to buy again the trust and confidence of his townsfolk? What would he have said to Captain Grime, and Toad Tower's garrison, if unrest swept through his town, under his watch?
Line,
The mayor looked back at James, and Sprig, and Polly, and everyone who was at their side now. He did hire the humans before, when they feared another one of those creatures had appeared; the search ended up fruitless, but they did bring results.
He could do this once again, for sake of stability, couldn't he?
"I guess I can't argue with that, creature." Toadstool said, looking at James with wary eyes, "Of course, I expect you to have a plan to deal with this situation."
And sinker, the British kid thought with an inner smile.
"Actually, I do. We can save my friends and get back whatever they got in their amnesia-fueled escapade, however, I believe I'll need the help of many of you…"
(…)
"Ok, guys." James said, looking at the various frogs and other inhabitants of Wartwood in front of him, everyone looking at him like he was the general explaining the plan before a big battle. "Everyone has their own role: Ivy, Sprig, Polly, you three know where we can find fireflies. Can you bring us one big enough to play the role of Tinkerbell?"
"Well, I do know a place where I can find them," the young yellow frog said, holding onto her mom's hand as she felt worriedness that her adoptive cool older sister was out there, in serious danger of being hurt. "Do you need just one, or…"
"As many as you can get; I'll later choose the one to play the role. Meanwhile, Mrs. Croaker, I suppose you can help track them down and find them, as well as to check how they are?"
"Consider it done, sweetie," the old frog said with a knowing smile. James himself would have not trusted her for such a delicate task… if he didn't know about her action-packed, spy-fiction past.
"Remember do not engage, unless it's an emergency or something else endangers you or them. If they think we are a menace before we are ready to act, the whole plan might go bust."
"Don't worry about me, young lad. Your friends will never see me."
"Good. Loggle, your wood-making skills are still good? You can help us now, right?"
"Absolutely… yes, I can."
"I need for you to build this," he placed a small sketch on paper, with the drawing of a large wood frog-operated creature. "As you build the wooden internal structure, you must make sure to account for the operators to be already inside, or for an emergency exit to be placed. Can you do that?"
"I won't…lie to you, lad. This project is quite…interesting." Loggle said, his eyes looking all over the project with an amazed look, "It won't be easy to make, I admit it, and yet… I like the challenge."
"Yeah, Yeah, I guess I cannot say anything on that," James then moved toward Hop Pop and Felicia. "So, HP, tell me: is there a cure for them? Something we can use to snap them out of their own hallucinations?"
"James, please don't call me HP," the old frog replied, but his tone of voice was more resigned and heartfelt that irked. "Anyway, don't worry about this. There is a solution to bring them back, the same they used on me when I was the victim?"
"Good, is that a potion? A special drink? Where we can find the ingredients?"
"There is no need for a potion," Felicia intervened, "The cure for them is simply…another bump in the head. Of course, the real problem is getting close enough to deliver it in the first place."
"Don't worry, I already have an idea for that. Do you think we can put together something like this?"
"What is this? It looks like a uniform, but I've never seen something like this…"
"That's because this is the dress from one of my favorite fictional characters," James said, his face full of pride. "I guess that, if we have to face off with Captain Hook and Peter Pan, the best option I have to play is to become another captain, someone who can hold the ground against them."
"And your plan is basically-" Felicia gasped, as she realized the implications.
"Irk and provoke them push them into follow and get them into place for you to act. If we are lucky, it will be over before they even realize something's wrong. If not…"
James looked outside, toward the forest and where his friends were probably now, believing themselves to be enemies and hunting each other. He knew they would have done the same for him, in the same situation reversed, and yet, the fact that he was alone made him shudder. Was this the weight of feeling all responsibilities at once fall on him?
He was only a boy who liked to watch stars, play handball and who got in this mess because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was supposed to worry about homework, deal with his school friends and homesickness, not with his friends suffering amnesia and trying to kill each other in a world of talking frogs, where bugs were colossal and tried to eat you all the time.
Yet, he realized he didn't want to back down from the challenge. He didn't want to run away from the problem, or pass the buck.
They may have been strangers the day they met, but now, they were his friends. They hunted for those monstrous tomatoes together, they worked side by side to survive while they looked for solutions on how to get back home.
And now that they were in need of his help, he would give it to them.
"Huh, James?" Sprig said, waking to his side, "This character you're supposed to interpret, to bring Anne and the others in place…does he has a name?"
"Yes. His name is the Latin world in our world we use to define "nobody", Nemo."
"Peter," said Marcy, clinging tightly to Anne, "Please stop running. I can't take it anymore,"
"Wendy Darling is right," Amelia said in a solemn tone, worthy of the daughter of a tribe of Indians. "We've been moving through this endless forest for several hours now, and we haven't found anything to help us get back to Neverland. Not only that, this place is populated by giant monsters, which I have never seen before. And until we find Tinkerbell, none of us can fly."
"I know, Tiger Lily, I know," Anne replied with a worried air, her face full of fear. "Still, we can't afford to stand still. Even Hook ended up here with us, if he catches up with us..."
"Too late, little boy."
There they were, Sasha & Jacob, as they convinced they were the characters in the novel, Sasha swinging her sword and pointing it at the trio, as if burning with the desire to attack them, Jacob to her right, his fists clenched in a gesture of defiance.
"Hook! You're worse than a bloodhound, aren't you?"
"Even without my ship and crew, you can't defeat me boy. I want to offer you one last chance to surrender, or else-"
"I beg your pardon?"
A voice caught their attention, and the five humans turned to see James. Their friend (although they did not remember him) was dressed in a white-colored tailcoat with gold-colored buttons, had a mock saber at waist level, and wore a turban on his head.
In short, a perfect replica of the dress of Prince Dakar, a character better known to anyone who liked to read by the name Captain Nemo.
"You're that guy from before! Will you finally tell us who you are?" Sasha/Hook asked, pointing her sword at him.
"Me?" James answered, repeating from memory the sentences he had to say to make sure he remembered them. "I am Nemo. Captain Nemo."
"Are you a pirate like him?"
"No, Master Peter. On the contrary, I am...an adventurer, if I can call myself one. And the reason I am here...is because I am the reason for your presence here."
It was a lie, of course, but for good measure. If they thought he was in charge, and turned on him, he could make them chase him, and lead them where he wanted.
"You? You are the one who got us here?"
"Of course, Boatswain Smee. I will be glad to tell you more...if you will follow me."
"Ah, and you expect us to believe you?" Said Anne/Peter, keeping defensive, Amelia and Marcy behind her, "What makes you think I want to trust you?"
"It's true, you don't have to. But for you, it will make a lot of difference..." The boy lifted a small lantern-like container, containing a firefly large and fast enough that it could not be clearly seen, even with the cover.
"Tinkerbell!"
"Let her go!"
"Sorry, but I won't," James said, trying his best to sound like a classic literature villain. "You see, there is a reason why I brought you all here, and I removed all your ways to leave…"
"Wait, was that…you were the one who took my ship?"
"Not quite, Hook. I didn't take your ship. I sank it, as my Nautilus, well; it wasn't the first ship we ever sank."
"You stinky, little rascal! Just wait until I get my hands on you…"
"You know, if you want to get your hands on me, you have to get me first. Catch me if you can."
With a roar of rage, both parties forgot their literary feud and focused on James, running behind him as the boy rushed back to Wartwood. He could see Sasha wielding her sword, menacing to "cut him into small pieces"; Jacob who struggled behind his own captain, reminding him/her to not run that fast; Anne lamenting the fact she was forced to run, and not fly as she was used to; Marcy who struggled (apparently, the fact that she now thought she was Wendy Darling was not enough to stop her from tripping) behind her, lamenting about her missing siblings and hoping they were fine; lastly, Amelia was in her Native American clothes, trying (but failing) to use her bow and arrow to hit him.
I guess even when you become convinced to be a Native American is not enough to make you an instant expert on bows, right? James though, as it would be amusing if the situation wasn't tragic.
As he kept on running, he saw Mrs. Croaker to his right, showing her presence from a safe hiding place and signaling him with her hands. Everything was ready.
James replied with a smirk as he rushed forward, his amnesiac friends right behind him. In front of them, Wartwood was now clearly visible, and James hoped everyone was ready to play their part. If the plan went wrong, and his friends ended up believing to be their characters forever, or if they ended up hurt or worse, he would have never forgiven himself.
Come one, come on, he strived to ignore fatigue with willpower, just a couple of meters more…
"Don't you try to run away!" He heard Sasha exclaim behind him, as the boy realized he was now in Wartwood's square, "Now, Captain, I guess a meeting in in order."
"Give us back Tinkerbell!"
"You're still worried about your little fairy friend, kid?" Sasha laughed, "I'll be generous. I'll give it back to you…if you surrender."
"Never, Hook!"
"You sure do quarrel a lot," James tried to keep his cool. "I wouldn't believe you are actually friends."
"Friends, with him? Huh!"
"For once I agree with the brat. Now, Mr. Nemo, I want answers, and I want them now! Where did we end up? Where is my crew?"
(…)
"They're here!" Loggle said, looking back to Hop Pop and the others, "Are you ready?"
"IT may not be the lead role, but it will be my best performance ever."
"Hopediah Plantar, this is not a play!"
"Mrs. Sundew, please, don't move all of sudden. We're already packed tightly in here."
"And it stinks," Polly grimaced, as she tried to ignore the smell of their costume.
"Ivy, remind me why we have to use wet large leaves for this thing's cover?"
"James told me these leaves are the ones that most resembles reptiles scales!" The yellow-skinned frog replied, "And besides, why don't you use one of your spells if the smell isn't of your liking?"
"Listen, you-"
"Girls, please!" Sprig admonished both of them, "We are trying to save our friends. This is not time to argue!"
"Especially since it really looks like James could use our help."
"Ok, everyone, remember our role. Polly?"
"Yes, Hop Pop?"
"Make some nasty, groaring predator-like roars," The old frog said, his hands moving to the clock in his hands.
(…)
"Come on, Nemo, start talking! I don't have time to waste!"
"You're right, Hook, you've got no time at all. That's because…time is at my side."
Sasha/Hook looked at him dumbfounded for a couple of seconds, irritated, trying to understand the meaning of such words, before she heard a familiar sound. A mechanical sound, a regular rhythm, becoming louder and louder every second, like a pendulum or a ringtone, or a…
Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock… Tic-Tock…
"Oh no," The girl dressed as a pirate became pale, as she realized something big, scaled, and green was approaching them from behind.
As they turned around (giving James a well-welcomed chance to get out of their sight) the five of them came into vision of a large, 6-meter long crocodile, with blank, emotionless eyes, walking toward them slowly, but without ever stopping. And from its insides they could hear the familiar sound of a clock it had ingested a long time ago, alongside a certain pirate captain's left hand."
"That's it!" Sasha jumped into Jacob's arms, like a scared little girl afraid of a mouse walking in their bedroom, "It's the croc! Mr Smee, protect me!"
"Captain, don't worry. I can protect you… as long as you get down from me-" he replied, clearly feeling her weight.
"Peter! It's the croc!"
"I see that, Wendy Darling! I guess it was sent here with us! Don't worry, we can escape it"
"But you cannot fly, and without Tinkerbell, we have no pixie dust for us to use!"
"…oh." Anne/Peter Pan said, as he/she realized they were in bigger troubles. They had often escaped the croc before, but this time, they couldn't simply fly out of its ways.
"Tiger Lily, can you hit it in the eyes?"
"I…I'll try!" Amelia said, trying to use her bow and arrows, but missing on her first attempts. Only as she had one arrow left, she managed to hit the croc's left eye…only for the arrow to get stuck with no noticeable effect.
"It's no use! It has not even felt that!"
"Peter, protect me! Please, I'll be good!"
"Hook, even if you don't deserve it-"
As the croc (in truth, Hop Pop and the others) slowly kept moving toward them, the five humans tried to retreat, without realizing they were walking right into the spot of an ambush. There, other Wartwood citizens (led by Toadstool) were waiting to hit them as soon as they had a chance. Hop Pop clearly explained they had to knock them on their heads to "heal" them from the effect of the branch landing on their heads.
And there they were, waiting, just enough for the kids to get close enough for them to act in a swift hit.
Waiting…
Waiting…
"Now!" James hurried, grabbing onto his friends, striving to immobilize them for a few seconds, the time they needed to knock them and restore their sanity.
The various frogs didn't need to hear that twice, and jumped on the kids. And a few minutes later…
"Is…is it?"
"We did it?"
"Don't taste the victory yet," Hop Pop admonished them. "We don't know if it worked. Anyway, I guess we should bring them home before anything else happens…"
"James," Sprig jumped out of the wooden crocodile, "Do you want to give us a hand? James?"
It was then that the frog realized that, in the clash, they ended up knocking out James as well. The British boy was lying on the ground, a visible bump on his head.
"Huh, I claim temporary non compos mentis!" Toadstool hurried to say.
(…)
Back at the Plantar's farm, Anne and her fellow unfortunate companions of this crazy day were lying again on the couch, James simply resting on the nearby armchair, as Hop Pop, Felicia, Maddie, and the others looked at them with worry. As they had no clue if the "cure" worked or not, they had taken some precautions, such as tying the five of them to the bed, in the event they woke up again believing to be Peter Pan and his supporting characters.
"Do you think Sasha's fine, mom?"
"Yes, Ivy, your older sister is fine, probably," she said, shrugging. "I mean, she just got a colossal bump on the head, she spent the whole day believing to be some kind of pirate character from a book, she spread chaos and pandemonium all over Wartwood, but apart from that? She will be fine."
"A-are you sure?"
"Ivy, would you believe I had even worse days when I was an adventurer? For example, there was the time I was eaten alive by a giant fish and I ended up exiting by crawling through-"
"Mom, please!" Ivy protested, as Maddie glanced over them. "I don't need to hear that."
"What about you, Maddie? Do you think there is a spell that might be useful to make them remember?" Polly asked.
"Ok, Polly. First, mine it's magic, not science!" Maddie hurried to reply, "Even after all the progress Marcy and I did together, it is quite difficult to prepare a spell that does exactly what you want, if you had not had the time to prepare it beforehand. I could try to work on a spell, but it would require many ingredients and I cannot guarantee results. And second, spells with powers to change or modify the mind of someone are strictly restricted and cannot be used, unless it is an emergency or there is no other way."
"Why?"
"Polly, do you realize we are basically talking about mind control and the ability to make someone do something they do not want?"
"Polly Petunia Plantar, I already told you once. No mind control or brainwashing talk in this house!"
Polly grumbled, as her grandfather called to her, and pouted, while Sprig moved to check Anne's forehead.
"They will wake up, right Hop Pop? They do have to wake up!"
"Sprig, I understand your worry, but letting yourself go into panic is not going to help anyone. We have to stay calm, whelmed, responsible…"
Suddenly, Anne's hand moved, grabbing Sprig's as the girl opened her eyes and looked at him.
"Agh, she's awake!" Hop Pop said in shock.
"Anne!"
"Sprig?"
Hearing her new best friend recognizing him again, and realizing that Anne, his Anne, not the Anne who believed to be some kind of literature character, was back, Sprig felt his own heart warming, as she moved close to her, hugging her with tears…
"You're back! You're actually back!"
"Huh, Sprig, can you tell me what is happening? Why are you holding on like you feared I was lost forever? Did we eat something that you thought was poisonous again?"
"Ugh, my head…" Sasha grumbled, waking up as well, and noticing her surroundings. "Felicia? Ivy? Guys? What is happening? Why did you put all of us in the same bed? What the frog is going on?"
"Sasha, you're yourself again!" Ivy rushed to hug her as Sprig was doing with Anne, "You're not that Captain Hook anymore!"
"Captain Hook?" The blonde girl said in bewilderment. "From Peter Pan? Why- hey, why am I wearing Captain Hook's outfit?"
It was then that Anne realized, in turn, what she was wearing.
"Sprig! Why am I dressed like I'm back in a school play?"
"Ehehe, funny story. You remember that we were all under the tree, and you were telling us about the time you played that story at your school?"
"That's literally the last thing I do remember." Anne said, as Jacob, Marcy and the others started to wake up as well.
"Well, you see, there was a tree branch that fell and knocked you out. And when you woke up, the first time, you believed you were the characters from that story."
"What?" Anne and the others said, as they realized what Sprig meant.
"Yes, you thought you were some kind of boy who believed he could fly called Peter Pan." Polly said, uncaring about the shock her own words were generating in Anne and the other humans, "Sasha was Captain Hook, while Jacob was someone called Smee something. Amelia, you were some kind of person called Tiger Kitty whatever, Marcy was Wendy Dashing or something-"
"Wait, Wendy Darling?" Marcy gasped, as memories of what had happened between the two bonks in head was returning to her, "Is that why I am dressed like this? Where the frog did I find such a dress?"
"Believe me, we have no idea as well," Maddie rushed to her side, trying to calm her down. "You already were clothed this way, when we found you back in Wartwood."
"Just when I thought this place couldn't get more embarrassing," Sasha grumbled, as Jacob examined his own sailor uniform. "Now everyone will think we are weird."
"Nah, they already thought that." Hop Pop tried to comfort them, "Besides, I already went through what you experienced. Don't worry, in three weeks tops they will stop reminding you about this."
"I guess we are back to square one with our plan to becoming accepted,"
"Yup, Jacob." Anne shrugged, "Frog, next workday with Stumpy will be…awkward."
"Anyway, I guess we have to thank you, Hop Pop," Amelia said, still feeling uneasy at the story, and the fact she found herself clothed in Native American clothes. "At least, for snapping us back."
"Oh, don't worry about that. Besides, it's James the one you should thank," he looked over at the sleepy guy, "He was the one who came up with a plan to help you, and directed all of us. Plus, he got knocked out as well when we retrieved you."
"Is he going to be fine?"
"He'll just have a big headache. Hey James, you ok?"
Hearing the voice calling out to him, the boy's eyes blinked for a couple of seconds, before standing up straight. Then, all of a sudden, he bolted toward the barely-repaired window, breaking it open once again.
"Where am I? Where is the Nautilus? Who are you?"
As he ran away, all those present looked at each other.
"And maybe, some little side effects."
"Oh no, we went in reverse," Jacob groaned. "Now he is the one who believes he is a fictional character."
"I guess it is our turn to help him," Anne jumped up, Sasha & Marcy behind her "Come on, guy's let's get him before he gets into danger!"
And so the Plantar family reunited (minus James for obvious reasons), with their friends and allies, rushed behind the boy, once the only one who remained himself when his friends had befallen under such a condition, now he was the only one who had lost himself and believed himself to be who actually wasn't. It was such a sardonic twist that Hop Pop himself would have appreciated the theatrical irony, had not it happened onto one of his kids.
As for Toadstool and the rest of Wartwood, their headache grew even stronger as they found out what happened, and the whole thing had restarted all over again. True, catching one amnesiac kid was easier than catch five, and yet, when the day finally ended and James was subdued, Toadstool looked like he was going to have a complete nervous breakdown.
Just another day in Wartwood, Frog Valley, one of the main frog-populated areas in Amphibia…
SMALL MESSAGE TO MY READERS
The scene where Marcy, Sasha & Anne recall about the Peter Pan school play is a tribute to Seenlopme's comic "Play Practice accident" ( www . deviantart seeonleme / art / Amphibia-Play-Practice-accident-881072743 ), which I loved and wanted to use. With Seeonleme's permission, I decided to adapt in on my fic and write this episode around it.
I hope you like it, even as a silly episode. Next episode will be my AU version of "Plantar's Last Stand."