Year- 1971, 1st Year:

Remus' Rants:

Quote of the Day: "When you feel all alone, and the world has turned its back on you, give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart…"

The day of my first full moon at Hogwarts had finally dawned upon me quicker than you could say 'Dragon, fizzle, puff'. Okay, that was a bit uh… random, but you get the idea, it came up very fast. Faster than I would have liked, (not that I would have liked it to come up at all, but as it stands, I don't have much choice in the matter)

I was dreading the time when twilight would come, when the moon would rise and the night would cut out all traces of the day before.

Even though I realized and took in what Professor Philomena had said to me just three nights ago, it didn't make the fast approaching full moon any less frightening. It didn't make the thought of my transformations any less terrifying.

I was sitting in Transfiguration, the last lesson of the day, thinking over this while we were trying to transfigure beetles into buttons.

So far, James and Sirius had been the only ones who had managed it; I had not succeeded because my thoughts were very much pre-occupied.

"Remus, what's wrong with you today?" Sirius asked, sitting back in his chair and gazing at me curiously.

"I… nothing, it's nothing, I just feel a bit sick, that's all, and I got to visit my… mother tonight," I said, trying to sound casual, but realized that my voice sounded somewhat forced.

"Why?" Peter asked curiously, after several failed attempts to change his beetle into a button.

"Because she's really sick," I lied.

"I hope she's better then," Peter said.

"Thanks," I replied. I felt bad lying to my friends like that, but I had to unless I wanted them to find out about me.

Peter was content with my answer, but Sirius, it seemed, was not, as he asked "What's wrong with her?"

But before I got the chance to answer there was a loud shriek from in front of me, and a fellow Gryffindor girl I recognized as Lily Evans was jumping around frantically running her hands through her hair.

"Get it out! Get it out! Heeeeeeeelllllpppp!!!" Lily screamed frantically, while her friends, Alexandra Randall, Alanna Capes and Lavinia Fletcher tried to help her.

"What happened?" I asked Sirius.

I looked at Sirius and James to find that they were both sniggering wildly. Sirius and James.

"James levitated a beetle onto her hair," Sirius sniggered beside me.

I shook my head but said nothing.

By now McGonagall had rushed over to Lily to see what all the commotion was about, Lily meanwhile was still screeching and moving frantically around.

"What is the matter Miss Evans?" McGonagall asked briskly.

"There's something crawling in my hair! Get it OUT!!" Lily screamed.

"Calm down Miss Evans! I will get it out for you," McGonagall tried to calm down the frantic Lily. Which was a pretty hard thing to do, as Lily was getting more hysterical by the minute.

"Calm down! And stay still!" McGonagall ordered. If there was anything that could make Lily calm down it would have to be McGonagall ordering her to. Instantly Lily tried to calm down.

And sure enough, there, crawling atop Lily Evans' head, was one of the beetles that we were meant to be transfiguring. McGonagall plucked it out and held it up.

"Who is missing their beetle?" McGonagall asked eyeing the class.

"It was him," Lavinia Fletcher said, swishing her blonde hair around and sticking her nose up at us. Her finger was pointing directly at James.

McGonagall turned to face us, "Where is your beetle Mr. Potter?" McGonagall asked James angrily.

"It was here just a minute ago Professor, I swear, it must have flew away or something," James lied.

"The beetle could not fly Mr. Potter, as I put a anti-flying charm on them just this morning, and I assure you that charm would have not worn off," she said angrily. Wow. Now James was definitely in big trouble. McGonagall continued, "now where is your beetle?" she asked stringently, nostrils flaring - a sure sign of fury.

"I don't know, it must have crawled away," James lied.

"That's it! 10 points from Gryffindor!" All the Gryffindors groaned. "And detention for a week! I don't tolerate that behaviour in my class Mr. Potter, nor do I tolerate lying. Now get back on with your work, all of you!" McGonagall ordered angrily.

The class worked in silence for the rest of the lesson, and when the bell went to signal the end of class everyone was exceptionally glad to leave the classroom.

"Well what a great lesson that was," I commented sarcastically as we made our way up to the Gryffindor tower.

"Aw come on Remus, we were only having a bit of fun, I can't believe McGonagall gave me detention for that! She didn't even have any proof it was me anyway," James replied.

I didn't comment. James would never get the picture. James continued, "Oh well, it was all worth it," James chuckled.

"Yeah, you should have seen the look on that Evans girl's face when she felt a beetle crawling in her hair," Sirius said, starting to laugh again, causing James to start laughing, causing Peter to join in as well.

"Think it's funny do you?" A voice said icily from behind us.

We stopped walking and turned around. There, standing before us, was a fuming Lily Evans, she looked livid. Her three Gryffindor friends and a couple of Hufflepuff's that she became friends with later on were standing around her.

"Um, well, yes, it was kind of funny, now that I think about it," Sirius replied, still sniggering. I felt like hitting him for being so insensitive.

"How dare you! You are all such gits, thinking you're so good just because you can do good in class, you think you can do anything to anyone, you're just a bunch of immature snot-nosed toe rags!" Lily screeched before storming off. Her Gryffindor friends followed her and the Hufflepuff's just stood there.

"Jeez, it was only a bloody beetle, I mean, it's not like it was going to bite her or something," James said irritably, as we begun walking back up to the Gryffindor tower.

"That's not the point James," I said, teeth gritted, finally getting so frustrated that I had to say something.

"Well what is the point then Remus?" James snapped.

"Look, if you're going to talk to me like that then you can figure it out yourself," I replied, somewhat fed up with James and Sirius.

"I'm sorry, it's just that…" James stopped.

"Just that what?" Peter asked.

"Just that, I've been having a bad day," James replied.

I snorted. James having a bad day? He didn't know what a bad day meant. I was the one who was having a bad day. And it was just about to get extremely worse.

"What the hell do you know about bad days James?! What, just because someone doesn't like you you're having a bad day?" I said heatedly.

Sirius and James looked at each other with a bewildered 'I-didn't-think-Remus-would-ever-do-that-look' on their faces. James didn't reply, but I could tell he so wanted to.

We didn't talk again until we arrived at our dormitory. Once we were all inside we put our school things away and after a while the tension was gone (only after Sirius did something immeasurably stupid) and we had started talking again.

I paced the room nervously, looking at my watch every few seconds. It was 4.45 in the afternoon, in just 15 minutes I had to go and meet Madam Pomfrey.

"Remus, what are you doing?" Sirius asked, watching as I paced around.

"Oh, me? Nothing, I…I've got to go and see my mum at 5 o'clock," I replied nervously.

"Oh," Peter said, "how are you getting there?"

"Oh, by, by Floo Powder," I made up on the spot.

I checked my watch again. 4.49.

"Stop pacing, will you," James said.

"Sorry," I replied, "I… just I'm a bit worried," I lied.

"Well, you're not going to help your mum by pacing around like an idiot," James said.

I sat down on the edge of my bed. But I couldn't keep still. I looked out the window. The sky was still blue. I checked my watch again. 4.50. I jiggled my feet. My hands were shaking.

"What is wrong with you?" Sirius asked, looking at me intently.

"I told you, I'm worried about mum, she's really sick," I said.

"You've been pale and snappy all day, it looks like you're sick," Sirius replied.

"Yeah, well, mum's never been this sick before, I just, I just hope she's okay," I lied, feeling bad.

"So do we," James said, with a sharp look at Sirius that I wasn't meant to notice.

I checked my watch again. 4.52. I looked out the window. A pinkish colour had crept into the blue. I shivered.

"So, when are you getting back?" Peter asked, trying to make conversation.

"Oh, I don't know, later in the week sometime," I replied.

I stood up again and began to pace. I noticed James roll his eyes. I checked my watch. 4.55. Time to go I decided.

"Well, I've got to go," I announced.

"Aren't you taking anything?" Peter asked.

"Oh, no, I've got everything I need at my house," I replied, mentally slapping myself for not remembering to take anything so I would look a little less suspicious.

"Well, I hope your mum gets better then," James said.

"Thanks."

I pulled open the dormitory door.

"See you later then," Sirius said.

"Bye," I said as I walked through the door and pulled it shut behind me.

I let out a loud sigh of relief. At least now I wouldn't have to keep on lying to my friends, and I wouldn't be under their constant gaze.

I started my way down to the common room. The common room was full, as it was just before dinner. People were sitting in chairs playing exploding snap, or chess, or simply just sitting and talking or doing homework. Doing normal things.

At that moment I wished that I could join them, that I could be the one playing exploding snap, or the one in the corner reading, or the one laughing exuberantly with my friends. I wished that I could be any one of them, not having a care in the world except getting homework finished on time.

But I wasn't. I would not be able to have that. I was the one who turned into a monster, come the full moon.

I made my way solemnly over to the portrait hole; once I had arrived at it I opened it and climbed out into the corridor. I was in such a daze that I did not notice a voice talking until later.

"…I think that's a better idea." It was Madam Pomfrey.

"I'm-I'm sorry… what did you say again Sir, er-Miss?" I asked. Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes.

"I was saying that we should meet a bit earlier, it's getting dark early, say about fifteen minutes earlier, just to be on the safe side," Madam Pomfrey answered.

I nodded.

"Well come on, we've got to go."

I nodded again and Madam Pomfrey turned and made her way down the corridor. I followed her until we were out in the main Hogwarts grounds. The cool air hit my face and increased my state of unease. I looked up at the sky, it was quickly darkening; a purplish glaze came into blend with the blue and pink.

Any other day this sight would have looked beautiful, but today it only showed that it was getting closer to the rise of the full moon.

We walked silently across the darkening grounds. I slowed my pace and trailed along behind Pomfrey. I didn't want to go into that shack; I didn't want to be locked up and away like some domestic animal. I still felt my hands twitching, and a cold sweat was forming over my body, even though I had been through the transformations numerous times each time felt more draining than the last. I felt sick, like I was going to gag. I couldn't do this. I couldn't. But I had no choice. I stopped dead, the starlight hitting me and bathing me. It felt like I was going to heave.

Madam Pomfrey noticed my sudden stop, and turning around she said, "Hurry up Mr. Lupin! The moon's coming out any minute now! We're far too late!" she said as she rushed quickly towards the dark shape of the Whomping Willow. Surely enough when I looked up into the darkening sky again I could see the murky shape of the moon behind the clouds. I started to follow her again, staggering after her.

As we approached the Whomping Willow the thick tree whipped its creaking branches back and forth to prevent us from moving any further towards it. Madam Pomfrey hastily plucked a long stick from the ground and leaned towards a knot in the trunk. Suddenly a branch whipped down at the stick out of nowhere and with unbelievable force struck the stick and broke it into pieces.

Madam Pomfrey cried out in frustration, and frantically searched for another stick. Finally she found one, leaning towards the knot on the trunk she pushed the knot and instantaneously the Willow froze, not a leaf, nor twig shook.

"Quickly Lupin, get inside that hole in the trunk!" Pomfrey ordered looking up at sky. I obeyed and stumbled towards the hole quickly, slithering down into it I found myself immersed in total darkness, I felt myself slide down an earthy slope and found myself at the bottom of a very low seeming tunnel. The darkness felt slightly calming. I heard Madam Pomfrey slide into the hole after me, once at the bottom of the slope she lit up her wand and I found myself looking at a very low tunnel.

"Hurry along Lupin! I'll leave you here, once you get to the end of the tunnel go into the shack, someone will be there to pick you up in the morning," Madam Pomfrey said quickly, then she ran back up the slope and climbed out of the tunnel.

I was totally alone. I set off, bent-backed, at a stumbling run through the dark tunnel. After what seemed like hours the tunnel began to rise and twist and I found myself staggering into a dimly lit room. I looked around, the room was dusty and the windows were half or totally boarded up.

I swayed on the spot, sickness overcame me, and I slid down onto the dusty floor. I noticed a small patch of silvery light glimmering on the dark floor. It was moonlight. Suddenly the patch of light began to grow. I stared at it, wide-eyed. In what seemed like two seconds the light was as big as a large plate, I moved away from the light to a dark corner in the room.

I pulled my legs up to my chest, feeling helpless. The feeling in my stomach became increasingly worse and my robes were soaked with a cold sweat.

I looked back over to the patch of light and saw that it had slowly gotten bigger; I crunched up, unable to get away from this deadly light. Suddenly the light was hitting me, I felt it bathing my body and shining on my face.

Rapidly a great surging pain ripped through my body, a pain unlike anything I had ever experienced in my previous transformations. It tore through my body and it felt like a great hand was clenching, squeezing, and slowly crushing the bones inside of my body. I screamed. I howled. I went mad with excruciating pain. I felt my nails lengthen into claws; my face was lengthening, and my shoulders were hunching. I felt hair growing out of my skin and covering me with thick fur. The pain was unbearable, and when it reached that moment of completeness I felt my mind and conscious slowly slip away.

I felt the wolf take me, it snarled and reared, and snapped its long jaws. The wolf had come. And all I knew was black.

7 7 7

Author's Note: Okay, so I lied, I separated the chapter again! Sorry! But I love cliff-hangers and I couldn't help it! And I still haven't seen PoA, (again, I have no idea what that has to do with anything). Anyway, the next chapter will be up soon (I hope). As to the quote of the day it's from "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden, and I think it fits for Remus. Okay, so all my quotes are turning into being song lyrics! But I can't find any others that fit for Remus. Anyone have any?

Ronda-Silverpaw: That's great! I'm glad your comp is better, glad I could be of service :P

BlackMistress: Thanks for reviewing! Peter's not so bad, well the Hogwarts-age Peter I think, but anything after Hogwarts I hate him! I live in Australia, and PoA is out now but I haven't had a chance to see it yet. L, I just hope it's good, but from what I've heard they left a fair bit out. L . Anyway, glad you like Philomena and astronomy!

Goldilocks31890- Thankies! Yes I have PoA problems. L. Not fair! I wanna watch it. Ahem, anyway, I'm glad you liked the part about Sirius not wanting to share, he's so funny. Yeah, seeker is Harry's thing, it would be weird, well not weird, but you know, if James was seeker as well. But who knows what he actually is?

Padfoot-911- Thankyou very very very much! I'm glad you liked it! Yes Sirius is too stubborn for his own good- silly boy, hehe. I will keep it up, don't worry. I'll at least try anyway!

Ruby2- Thanks for the offer and your review! I'll e-mail you!

Jbanana- I hope to see it soon as well, hopefully I'll get the chance soon!

Rappy28- Thankyou very very much! I'm glad you like the story and hope you'll keep on reading! I hope you liked this chapter!

This Parrot has ceased to be- Hi, that's okay. I hope I updated quick enough for you! ;). I live in Australia, so it's out now but I still haven't seen it L.

Lily Evans0- Thankyou very very much! I'm glad you like it! I hope he doesn't die either! J.K just can't kill him as well! Not two of my most favouritest characters! If she did that I'd stop reading, oh wait, there wouldn't be anything left to read anyway. Ahem. Anyway, thanks again!

Janet Lily- Thanks a lot! I'm really glad you like it. Keep reading!

Random Beatles Fan- Oh really? I've heard that as well, but I guess movies and books are two completely dif. things, and the movies can never compare to the books anyway, IMO. I'm glad my story amuses you! Glad you like it!

Snuffles2984- Hi! That's okay, at least you had plenty to read then, I'm glad you are still reading and liking the story! Keep reading!

Elvengirl9- Wow! Thanks so much, your review really made my day a whole lot better. I'm so glad you liked my story. I went to check out yours (as you prob. already know by now! And I think they're great, I left reviews for you J)

Yes I think Peter would have to be like a fellow brother to them otherwise they wouldn't have been his friend and all that, I think he was too weak to stand up against Voldemort and gave in. I'm glad you liked Remus' POV- everyone loves a bit of Remus, and the explanations and interruptions-they were fun. Your question was not at all rude! I like reading other peoples MWPP stories, (well they're really the only ones I'm reading at the moment anyway). That's okay (about me reviewing), anytime! Oh, Dobby's Diary and my other story are pretty uh, crazy (to say the least), and I haven't updated it in ages.

Thankyou very much for the lovely compliment and your great review! J

Lv3nd3r-l3r0wN- (Do you mind if I just write your name Lavender-Brown instead? I'm too slow to write it the way you do, lol) Thankyou very much! I'm very glad you like it! I hope this was quick enough for you! Glad you like the way I portrayed Remus. Thanks again!

Visualpurple- I agree! Yeah I know she updated it, I def. have her on author alert! Great is good! I like the word great, don't worry, I always say great for lack of a better word, lol. Yeah I know about the moustache thing, I've seen some pics, and book-Remus def. does not have a moustache! Gah! I hate it when people wreck my favourite characters, esp. (man I'm getting lazy!) Sirius and Remus! My most favouritest characters in the world! Oh and I hated the way James and Lily were in the 1st movie, (well I guess Lily wasn't so bad) but James looked too old! They were in their 20's when they had Harry! Gah! Ahem. I'll stop complaining now. At least they tried.