Chapter 6: Future dust

This chapter is about the aftermath of the events that happened before hand. It's not very long granted, but it will keep you in suspence, till the next one.
I'm not sure which direction I want this story to go in now, hense all the angst ;)
I'll try and update asap, but work commitments are a bummer at the moment.
Enjoy (or not as the case may be) x

"And even at the bottom of the sea I could still hear you in my head. Telling me, touch me, feel me. And all the time you were telling me lies…"

Words could not comprehend what I felt. No actions could describe it. No one could heal it. I had vanished. I shut myself off from the world, not wanting to let anyone in. Even daylight was too much.

I hadn't spoken to anyone in 2 weeks. I avoided college at all costs; I couldn't bear to face her. The pictures of us scattered on my walls had been ripped down, her clothes thrown out of sight. Everything that reminded me had gone. My dreams had disappeared, along with my sense of reality.

I had completely shut down and didn't want to hear anything, see anything, or be anything. I had reverted to my old ways. The cold hearted, angry and closed off individual that I despised so much. It was killing me.

She was killing me.

Love was killing me.

My phone was full to the brim with texts and missed calls from the gang, but mainly from her. I couldn't face it, couldn't let myself be vulnerable to more pain. It was unbearable.

Then one day I had enough. Enough of it all, I was so sick and tired of feeling. I didn't want to feel anymore. I wanted to be numb from the inside out.

So I ran. I escaped of the confines of my room, my secluded headspace. I ran and kept on running to the one place I knew I could just be.

"Naoms, I wondered when you would come" Effy pulled me into an affectionate hug on her doorstep. I just stood there, averting eye contact, rigid and devoid. No emotion, no expression…nothing.

Effy was my release. A person who understood. No words were ever needed.

"Don't Eff, please. I just need to escape right now. No emotions. No talking. Just…letting go", I said as Effy pulled me out of her embrace and stood observing my blank exterior. She knew how I felt. She didn't push it any further.

"Come in Nai, I'll get us a drink, coffee okay?"

"Vodka. Straight. A large one please". It was only 10am but I didn't care. I needed it.

We made our way into Effy's room and I sat down on her bed, looking blankly into space. I felt very little. Like I was in another world. It was progress.

Effy sat down next to me and put her hand on mine, looking into my vacuous eyes. The contact made me jump at first, but I soon rested into it. I knew she was here and that's all that mattered. I secretly craved for human contact, so anything was nice.

Hours had passed, Effy and I just laying in a comfortable silence. I was drinking copious amounts of vodka, my tense shell slowly breaking with each sip. Eff was smoking a spliff. A sense of normality encased her room. Then reality hit me.

I began to realize in my booze addled brain that I shouldn't be the only one hurting, the only one cut off from existence.

"Eff, you know what? I want to go out, I want to live while I still can" I said as she looked at me, trying to work out my motives. A small smirk appeared on my face, the first one in ages.

"Yeah that's what I want, a party! What parties are happening tonight?" My face began to show signs of life, a wicked smile had appeared, and my tone was slightly animated. Effy looked away on edge. I had a feeling I knew why.

"Naoms, there's one happening, but…I'm not sure if it'd be the best idea…" Effy looked at me apprehensively. I knew what was coming. So I said it for her.

"Ah, I see…Emily's going to be there isn't she?" This had been the first time I had said her name out loud for a while and a sudden bolt of pain entered my chest. I ignored it. Effy nodded and looked at me with pleading eyes. An opportunity to face her head on had come. I was ready.

"Even more perfect than I envisioned. What time shall we leave" I said, planning it all in my head. Effy looked conflicted, she knew only more pain and heartbreak could arise from this situation.

But tonight she was going to fall, like she never had before. It was her time to hurt.

"Are you sure? I mean…we could just stay in, watch a movie, have a spliff-"

"I'm so sure Eff. It's time to let go. Time to be free and stop this pain. I can't sit back and mope around any more. I need to let go " I said, cutting her short. She nodded, knowing that it was all wrong, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her eyes still looked pleading, but I was dead set in motion. We grabbed our things and headed out the door.

I had made my decision. Tonight was going to be the end. The end of everything...

Ooo the drama ;) review if you'd be so kind.