God, i haven't UDed this in forever. Like, actually... woah. Anyway, i apologize. I haven't UDed any of my fics in a while, but even back then i hadn't UDed this in ages. So sorry. But school *sighs heavily* has to *sighs heavier* come first. And it doesn't work mostly. Otherwise i'd never UD :P Anyway, this is quite long. For Hayley (OutCold) because in all fairness she has been bugging me to UD... like the day after i UDed last. So for a very long time. She is a very annoying person, as are all of these damn people, Hannah (YouGottaSingAlong) Alice, (FadeIntoTheBackground) and Rach (CheerChickx), my amazing friends :) Thanks guys.

She nodded, and pressed 'ring' before she could change her mind.

"Gibbs," he answered on the other side.

She took a deep breath, "Hello Jethro."

Chapter 15

Time is relative. Time is something, we think we understand, we think is set. But it's not. And it's out of our control. It's impossible to describe, impossible to catch hold of. Sometimes it moves impossibly fast, and years of our life feel as though they disappear in a single breath, other times, when a loved one's life is hanging in the balance a second feels like an eternity. Sometimes it stands still, frozen. And sometimes it simply passes you by. Time cannot be measured, it is, but it's wrong. Because a second to you might feel like forever to someone else, a day, a week, a month, a year might pass differently to individuals. Forever could be a second, and a second could be an eternity.

Often, you don't realize it until it's too late. The time you have missed, the time that has just gone by. And before you know it, a year, two years then three years have gone. And you can't begin to imagine where they went. Then something happens, something that jolts you back to reality, and the reality is painful but the reality is the truth. You find yourself wishing to slip back into the circle, the time flowing fast like water beside you, ongoing, untouched and you are just an observer. Watching, observing. It's less painful that way. It is surreal. But reality is harsh, it cuts through you swiftly, like a smooth blade, so sharpened that you don't notice the incision until a few precious seconds later when the pain comes and the crimson of blood taints your once perfect skin. This is what life is like, it hurts, but you get the satisfaction of knowing, feeling like you exist. Even though it hurts. Even though it hurts so much sometimes that you feel anything would be better than the ordeal you are going through, and that is when, sometimes, you slip again. Back into the surreal, where time disappears in the blink of an eye and while you are still breathing, you heart is still beating; none of it is actually real.

So hearing his voice again, after what feels like forever, is like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over your face, or a thousand knives slicing into you. Or both. Because it makes you alive again, it makes you real, but it's also excruciatingly painful. And you have to make a choice, right then. If it's worth it. If the pain is worth living through, worth living for. And that's where people go wrong, where the world goes wrong. They make the wrong choice. She had thought she had made the wrong choice all those years ago. And she had. She just happened to be one of the few people who had the chance to make it right. To get out, before reality disappeared forever.

"Jethro," her voice cracked, wavered at the edges as tears built up in the corners of her eyes, and emotions threatened to consume her.

Silence is scary, unnerving. Silence shakes the strongest of people. It's a very powerful thing. Sometimes it's a relief, for a second, until it gives you time to think, and you realize it isn't all that good after all.

Another whole world away, in Washington DC, USA, Leroy Jethro Gibbs sank down onto a chair, and ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief.

"Hi Jenn," He finally said, his voice soft and low.

She released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, a tear rolled down her cheek in relief mingled with pain, regret and longing at hearing his voice again.

Her mind raced as she tried to think of something to say, anything would do at this point, "How are you?"

He laughed, but it wasn't your classic 'happy' laugh, it was.... it was full of bitterness. With good reason, and Jenny knew that, but it still stung a little. Even though she knew she deserved everything she got, and a whole lot more.

"You're supposed to be dead, and you're asking me how I am?"

"I shouldn't even be talking to you," she whispered.

"You should be dead, Jenn," He shot at her, and she drew in her breath sharply, every word was killing her. Making her realize she could, was still capable of feeling.

"Yeah," she whispered, "I didn't realise you would prefer it that way," A small gasp escaped her lips as she recognized what she had just said. "I'm sorry,"

"For what Jenn?"

She froze, she was starting to wonder whether the pain was worth it, whether she could handle it. If this went wrong then there would be even less left living for than last time, essentially, there would be nothing left.

"For everything,"

Her voice, her, her being alive, somewhere, even if it was the other side of the world... it felt like breathing again.

He loved her so much, it ached. And it had, since he had laid eyes on her, and when, when she 'died' he thought he had lost someone else. But, no matter how many times you lose a loved one, it still hurts just as much. Another part of you still dies with them. And it would take a while to realize that that part isn't dead anymore.

He could hear her, on the other end, he jagged breathing gave away the tears he knew were rolling down her cheeks. His mind was a blur of thoughts, how? How was it even possible. He trusted Ziva and Tony, and they had seen her dead, he had seen her perfect face, porcelain like, late at night under the dim lights in autopsy. The thought broke his heart all over again.

"Say something," she whispered.

"You want me to say something Jenn?" He burst out, the anger and hurt painfully sharp in his voice, "You really want me to say something,"

"Go on then," she replied leaping to the defensive. "Say something, what are you thinking?" She cursed herself, for being so... clichéd, so pathetic in her eyes.

"What I'm thinking? You really want to know?"

"Yes," She said, scared, absolutely terrified of the answer.

"I love you Jenn," He paused, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, "That's what I'm thinking." He added, so softly.

This time, she didn't bother to conceal her sobs.

I actually like this one... :P It feels so good to be UDing again! Please review :) It would make me verrry happy :)

Hope you liked it!

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