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Bella POV

That stopped me cold. I wasn't expecting that response.

"Oh...I-I, I didn't mean to-"

But he stopped me. "It's okay. Death is just something you learn to live with, you know?"

The way Edward talked sounded like he's seen a lot of deaths in his life. Awkward silence filled the air and the rain started to fall harder.

"Did you love her?"

I almost didn't want to know the answer. Lost lover, of course he didn't want me. Seeing me probably hurt him.

But he laughed. "Of course, I mean, not that I was in love with her, but I loved her, more like my family. I didn't see her all too much though, but we spoke every once in awhile, that is until she died." The way he spoke wasn't like he was still dwelling on the pain, but more like it was a fact that he had come to live with. I wish I could have been like that, not afraid to speak about my mother.

I wanted to ask how long she'd been dead, if this was recent or just something of the past. But that was too personal, and I couldn't upset him anymore. "It must be hard to see me then, huh?"

Edward's eyes grew distant, as if he were looking past me. "Sometimes, but it's a happy reminder of her. I mean, you are completely different than her. She was like the sun, warm and radiant. She could always make me smile." He laughed, perhaps at a memory they shared.

I looked down at my pale hands. Maybe that was why. I wasn't anything like that. I wasn't happy or warm, I couldn't make people smile. I was plain and boring and depressing. The bell rung suddenly and I got to my feet.

"I have to go to class now."

I started walking quickly, not wanting to face him. But he called out my name. I stopped and turned.

"We'll still have lunch together, right?"

He looked hopeful, like grasping on the edge of a cliff. My stomach lurched with indecision. "Sure."

But he looked unsure...and so did I.

~.~

The rest of the day past very uneventfully, except Jessica and Mike fawning over how terrible it was to see me crying in class and blah blah blah. I ignored them mostly and focused on the knot in my stomach. Would lunch be awkward after our little heart-to-heart session? Maybe he'd skip out...or maybe I should? Maybe he thought he was too forward and would go back to being a recluse and not opening up to me. My heart was thrumming with excitement-or panic?- as I entered the cafeteria. Jessica practically had to drag me to the line as my eyes swept over the room for Edward. I sighed in relief when he was there, sitting by himself at a table in the corner, no food in front of him. He smiled widely when he saw me and waved. I was completely drawn aback, I'd never seen him smile like that before, that perfect crooked smile. Usually he was sarcastic, but now he looked genuinely happy to see me.

"Why is Edward Cullen waving to you?" Jessica asked.

I was pulled from my trance as she stared me down, her brown eyes piercing me like a laser. I tried to think of something that would make sense to her, but I pulled a blank. Then I realized she sounded personally insulted by Edward waving to me and that she was honestly appalled he liked me at all. I could care less what Jessica thought and quite frankly it was none of her business.

"Why does it matter?" I retorted icily before walking over to his table.

His smile seemed to turn more devious and that meant he either heard our conversation- which was impossible- or Jessica was giving me a death glare. Either way...it felt good to actually say what was on my mind instead of trying to please people.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked teasingly as I sat down. He shrugged. "Not anymore."

I noticed he suddenly had an apple which he was tossing between his hands. "No food?"

He rolled the apple to me. "Thought you'd be hungry."

I rolled it back. "No, not really. Why don't you ever eat?"

"Why don't youever eat?" he said back. I narrowed my eyes and took the apple and eyed it purposefully before taking a large bite out of it. A small dribble of juice trickled down my chin. I lifted my hand to wipe it, but a pale, cold hand had already reached and finished the job. I froze instantly and Edward's hand flew back into place. My face turned beet red.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

We both looked down instantly, unsure of how to act. My fingers closed and I felt the cool band of my mother's pearl ring(picture in profile) against my palm. I nervously started twirling it around my pointer finger like I always did. It belonged to my Gram who passed it down to my mother who didn't exactly give to me, but I took if off her finger during the viewing when no one was looking. I knew she would have wanted me to have it.

"Jessica looks like she wants to kill you...and me."

His cool voice brought my eyes back to his. They weren't as topazy today, but more of a hazel, darker than the two days ago when I'd last seen them. I could have gotten lost in his eyes. They were full of swirls...and I swear if I stared hard enough, I could see hints of deep emerald in the very core of them...but maybe I was hallucinating.

"Bella?"

I blinked. "Oh, yeah. She's jealous that you don't talk to her."

He snort. "Please. That girl needs to get her head together, I can't keep up with all-"

I titled my head, wondering what he was getting at. "I mean, she's just all over the place, and such a gossip."

My head turned so I could barely see Jessica. She was pouting at the end of the table. Mike was next to her, trying to shoot lasers at Edward's face.

"Yeah, and Mike wants to kill you out of jealousy."

Edward laughed. "Jealousy huh?"

I could tell he was purposefully smirking at Mike to get a rise out of him. "Stop it! Do you want him to start a fight with you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Please, Mike Newton? He wouldn't stand a chance against me."

I looked at him skeptically. "You and Mike are the same height."

Edward leaned in close and motioned for me to do the same. I felt my heart go crazy over our close proximity.

"Wanna hear a secret?"

I nodded anxiously.

"I'm stronger than Mike Newton, but don't let anyone know." He whispered with a wink.

I pulled back and grimaced. Edward's face suddenly went calm and expressionless. "Why did you say no when Mike asked you out?"

The question was so random that it stunned me completely. I had no idea how to answer this.

"Because I didn't want to go out with him?" But it sounded like a question. Edward's eyes were dark, a warning. I shivered at his intense stare.

"You should say yes to guys like Mike. They're good for you, the kind of people you should be eating lunch with," he said.

This hurt, despite the fact that I knew Edward wanted to be friends. He was letting me down easy, that much I knew.

I bit my lip. "But...I don't want guys like Mike. That average teenage boy thing, kind of annoying." I didn't want him to hear the plead in my voice to stay friends with me. I could feel myself longing for him suddenly. I felt so close and the thought of him just pulling away killed me. He could sense it too because his face changed immediately.

"Bella, I'm not going to just ditch you, okay?"

My hands rested anxiously on top of the table, only inches from his. I saw his pale fingers twitch and prayed he would cover mine with his...but he didn't. But his eyes were soft again, and loving almost. The way he looked at me made my heart go wild. I'd never felt this way before. Ever. I didn't even know him...but I felt like it. We just had this connection.

"Bella..."

Edward's voice was strained now and he was looking down, like he couldn't figure out how to speak.

"Yes?"

I bit the inside of my lip hopefully.

"There's something I really need to tell you. I've been trying to say it, but I don't know how to go about it. It doesn't even make sense but-"

"Edward!"

Dammit! Why does someone always interupt us!

We both turned to see his blond sister standing next to our table, her arms crossed and a nasty glare directed at me.

"We have to go. Now." She sounded urgent, like it was more than just getting him away from me.

"You have to go?" I repeated.

He sighed and nodded. "The weather is getting warm so we're leaving early to go camping this weekend."

I couldn't help but feel disappointed. "You'll be gone all weekend?"

Edward nodded again and looked sad as he stood up. I could see the rest of his family leave the cafeteria quickly, but still extremely gracefully. He turned to go, but paused and turned back to me.

"Just, promise me one thing?"

"Anything!"

Crap...that sounded desperate.

He chuckled. "Try to stay out of trouble. No car accidents, okay?"

I nodded stupidly and then watched him leave too. It felt like he took a piece of me with him.

Short I know! But sweet...? Yes? Just thought I'd get this out here because I haven't had much writing time lately!! Leave some love!!