Mystery Guy: 1) I sorta knew that Ace was going to get killed in the war, but it was still shocking to see. Curse that Akainu... 2) For the record, Sasuke didn't kill Danzo; Danzo blew himself up. In fact, most of Sasuke's fights are pathetic since he never wins normally; like against Orochimaru, Sasuke waited until he was sick to finish him off, and when he fought against Deidara, Deidara blew himself up, and the fight with Itachi, Itachi simply overused his abilities, and killed himself on purpose. The fact that Sasuke going crazy is not surprising, since he's the lowest of the low. He is an irritable human being, it makes me wonder why Naruto loves him so much. I don't like him. I HATE HIM!! I... ahem, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away. I'm sorry if I offended any Sasuke fans reading this, I just don't like him.
So anyway, this is certainly not the way to introduce a story, but whatever. Like I said before, I will only work on this when I'm really bored, and it's not like I'm taking this fic seriously or anything, but still, this should be an interesting read anyway. Oh, and this story is no way connected to my smash hit story, One Piece: A Smash Adventure. Anything you see here from that story are simply easter eggs, and that's it. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!
Sidekick No. 1: Mario
Day 1, 10:24 A.M.
Mario was fanning his brother Luigi with a blanket, as Luigi has somewhat regained consciousness after getting hit in the head by Falcon's laptop. Luigi was sitting on the ground, resting his back against the honey tree with his eyes swirling around in dizziness.
"Are you sure you're okay, Luigi?" Peach asked concernedly, as she was on her knees, seeing if Luigi was alright.
"I'm fine..." Luigi said dazed, "I just like how all the stars are circling around my head. Yay, ugh..."
"Oh dear, how could this have happened?" Peach asked while getting up as she then looked up at the sky, "I didn't even know this world could rain laptops. If I would have known sooner, I would have stayed indoors all day."
"I-a don't-a think that is-a possible, Peachy." Mario said with a weak smile, "Perhaps-a somebody dropped-a it from-a balcony above-a."
"OoOOoohh, no, , don't hit me with the mallet." Luigi said dazedly. Peach then looked more concerned for Luigi than before.
"Oh, this doesn't look good." Peach said as she then looked at Mario, "Mario, can you please get Luigi something to drink from the kitchen? I'm sure he'll feel better if he drinks something.
"Okey-dokey, Peach! You stay-a here with-a Luigi, and I-a go get some-a drinks for-a all of us in-a jiffy!"
"Thank you, Mario." Peach said happily, until Luigi passed out again, and fell on his side. "Oh no!" Peach gasped as she knelt down, and gave Luigi some air by waving her hand in front of him.
"I-I'll-a be right-a back!" Mario said as he left Peach and Luigi to get some refreshments for them.
Mario walked around the mansion, and entered through to the big front door to the right. He walked around the first floor, passing by Kirby who was still sleeping, as Captain Falcon then appeared coming from the hallway in the second floor. Falcon looked over the wooden rail, and saw Mario was about to go into the dining area.
"Mario!" Captain Falcon exclaimed as he jumped over the rail in a cool fashion, and landed in front of Mario.
"Whoa!" Mario gasped as he shook his arms up and down before falling down on his rear in surprise. Mario soon regained his composure, and stood up while dusting some dust off his rear, and then looked at Captain Falcon. "Oh, you-a scared me, Captain-a Falcon."
"I'm sorry for rising your blood pressure, Mario, but I am in dire need of your assistance." Captain Falcon said as Mario looked at him curiously. "Mario, I am in a great dilemma that can only be resolved by beating the living daylights out of the person who is behind this. But I can't do this alone, so it would be a great honor for me that you become my sidekick."
"Oh, well-a, I would-a like to help-a you out-a, but Luigi-"
"Please, Mario, I beg of you! My reputation as a man is at stake here!" Captain Falcon pleaded, "I can't give you all the details, but I assure you that this will not take long as long we work together! Please, Mario, PLEASE!!"
"Ooohh..." Mario looked back at the entrance, not sure what he should do, "W-Well-a... I suppose-a Luigi can-a wait for-a few minutes-a."
"GREAT! WE MUST HURRY! THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE!" Falcon exclaimed as he grabbed Mario by the back of his overalls, and hurried out of the mansion with him.
"Owawawawawa!"
--10:32 A.M.--
Captain Falcon and Mario were walking along the crowded streets of Smashtown. Captain Falcon was keeping a sharp eye out for anything suspicious, while Mario seemed a tad uncomfortable walking beside him.
"Um... what-a we looking-a for again-a?" Mario asked.
"Some sort of clue to find where this evildoer is located." Captain Falcon replied, "This person has to be around here; he or she contacted me earlier today, and there is no way any kind of communication can come from another planet to here."
"How do you-a know that?" Mario asked.
"Simple; my cellphone can only receive calls from the world I am in." Falcon explained with a smile, "It was a good thing that I was so cheap to only get world offer distance instead of the intergalactic one, otherwise, I would have never known where to start looking."
"Yeah, that's-a good..." Mario said with a weak laugh, "I'm-a sorry, but why-a we-a doing this again?"
"Like I said before, I am being threatened by this person that's wants to know the secrets of my Falcon Punch." Captain Falcon explained, "If I don't follow by this person's demands by the end of the month, he will do something so drastic, that it will make my life miserable forever."
"Why? What does-a he-a have against-a you?" Mario asked.
"I-I am sorry, Mario, but I can't tell you." Falcon blurted out, "It's a very personal matter, and I have never revealed it to anyone before. If you were to know about it, even you would lose your respect towards me."
"Oh... nevermind then." Mario said as he and Captain Falcon continued to walk on the sidewalk, "So-a, where do we-a go first?"
"I'm not sure yet." Captain Falcon replied, "We need to find a lead first, but we must do so casually. We can't afford to attract any attention out here, otherwise, this whole mission will be a bust."
And just as Captain Falcon said those words, one of the citizens walking by instantly noticed him and Mario. "Hey! It's Mario, and Captain Falcon!"
At that moment, everybody in the street rushed over to Captain Falcon and Mario, including the drivers in the area, with some of them crashing into eachother by sheer accident, but they came out with no injuries except for their car damages. There were also people jumping out of windows, and landing near the two Smashers. It was chaotic, but nobody cared; they just wanted to be around Falcon and Mario at all cost, as the two were completely surrounded by people.
"I can't believe I'm standing in front of Captain Falcon!" Yelled one of the citizens in delight.
"I can't believe Mario is looking at us!"
"Falcon! I heart youzz!"
"Alright, everybody! Settle down!" Captain Falcon yelled while some of citizens were hugging him and Mario tightly, "I know we are very popular, and more attractive than you will ever be, but we are as equally as important as all of you. So please, stop giving us so much attention!"
"Ooowooohh!" Mario cried as the citizens were tearing him apart without even knowing it.
But as those two were being adored by the citizens, there was one in particular that was observing this from behind a corner of a building. This person was wearing a long brown jacket, with black gloves, white boots, and a shady hat. His/Her face was concealed by his hat you can see nothing, but his/her round, yellow eyes.
"Hee hee hee hee hee! That's right, Falcon. You go ahead, and try to find me. In the end, I will get what I want, and there is nothing you, or anybody can do to stop me. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" This person with an unidentifiable voice.
As the person laughed, Falcon's eardrumbs bounced repeatedly. Captain Falcon frowned as he turned his attention to where the evildoer was hiding, "I HEAR EVIL LAUGHTER!! COME ON, MARIO!!"
"Huh!? He actually found me this early!? Damn, he's good!" The person panicked as he ran off into the dark alley, with something falling from his pocket in the process.
Falcon ran past the crowd, holding Mario by the back of his suspenders, as he then stopped in front of the alley, dropping Mario beside him.
"Ohh! What-a happened!?" Mario asked dazedly before getting up.
"I heard someone laughing evilly around here." Captain Falcon said sternly, "There shouldn't be any reason for someone to laugh evilly unless they are doing something evil."
"That makes-a sense, I-a guess..." Mario said.
Captain Falcon searched around the ally, but saw no sign of anybody, nor any clues for that matter. "Whoever laughed just now is now gone. Tsk! If only I could find a clue!" Falcon said irritatedly. He then looked down, and saw something. He got on one knee, and picked the object up as Mario approached him from the side.
"What is it?" Mario asked.
"A card." Captain Falcon replied, "It's a business card at that. However, the logo's been rubbed off, and I can't tell where this is from."
"So what do we-a do now-a?" Mario asked.
Falcon rubbed his chin in thought, until he snapped his fingers, "I bet we can find this evildoer in a business around here. We'll just have to start searching in every place."
"Um, how-a long is that-a going to-a take?" Mario asked concernedly, "Because, I still-a have to go-a back to Peach, and-"
"Do not worry, Mario, this won't take long at all." Falcon said with a smirk. He then got up, looking at the card he was holding, "In fact, I have a hunch where we should start looking first."
--10:45 A.M.--
Captain Falcon and Mario were in the outskirts of town, facing in front of an enormous facility of some sort. "A sewage treatment plant?" Mario asked, "Are you-a sure we should look-a here?"
"Positive. That evildoer is pretty clever, and I bet he will hide in a place nobody would suspect to look first." Falcon said with his arms crossed, and with a smile, "This highly-class facility is the perfect place to start."
"There-a so many people-a here though-a." Mario said, noticing the workers walking around.
"Precisely why this is the perfect spot to hide in." Falcon replied, "That person will blend in with the workers here, and will be difficult to find if investigations happen to occur here." Falcon then looked at Mario, "Here's the plan: we will disguise ourselves as workers here, and we'll search the entire facility from head to toe. We are bound to find this criminal in five minutes tops."
"Good. I-a really need to get-a back to the mansion-a." Mario said a little worryingly, "I want to-a know if-a Luigi is alright-"
"Enough chitter-chatter, Mario. Let's move!" Falcon interrupted.
Falcon and Mario then walked towards the entrance to the sewage treatment plant, but before they could get any closer, the gates lowered before them. The two were startled by this, as a grumpy man popped up in the booth next to the gate.
"Can I help you?" The grumpy man asked.
"Um, yes. We would like to investigate these grounds for a little while." Falcon explained with a kind smile, "Me and my sidekick here are Smashers, you see, and we would be grateful if you would let us through, while also allowing us to wear the uniforms here to disguise ourselves during our investigation."
"Mmm hmm, please wait a minute..." The grumpy man said as he hid in the booth. Falcon and Mario waited for a couple of seconds, until suddenly, the opening of the booth spewed out a pile papers over them. The two were surprised as they sticked their heads out of the pile, seeing the grumpy man in the booth again.
"Um... what is-a this?" Mario asked.
"This is the paperwork you must fill out in order to work here, weh." The grumpy man replied.
"Work? No, no, I'm afraid you're mistaken." Falcon said while trying to get out pile of paperwork, "Like I said before, we're only here to-"
"Look, if you want to come here, and wear the official uniform of this facility, you both are going to have to fill all this paper work, and apply for the job here! Weh heh heh nyeh heh! WEH!"
"A job!? That will-a take forever-a!" Mario gasped.
"Nonsense, Mario!" Captain Falcon replied optimistically, "If this is the only in getting in here, then we have no other choice. Don't worry; inspite of all this paper here, I'm sure applying for a job in this facility will only take 5 minutes tops."
--14:07 P.M.--
After the horrendous amount of time with the paperwork, Captain Falcon and Mario are finally in the manager's office. They were both sitting in two separate chairs, wearing the tacky uniforms over their cloths.
They were sitting in front of the manager, who was a little chubby, wearing a blue suit, and was a bald, and only had hair at the back of his head; he was like any other generic boss for short. He was looking over the paperwork behind his desk, as Mario looked frustrated.
"Luigi must be-a suffering like-a crazy by-a now." Mario complained in a hushed tone, "We-a wasted so much-a time here for a job I-a do not-a want!"
"Relax, Mario." Falcon said calmly, "We'll be searching around here as soon as this kind man lets us in."
"How do-a you know-a? What if he doesn't like-a us?" Mario asked.
"He will. I mean, I'm a well sophisticated man, and you're a plumber; we are bound to get the jobs."
"That is-a stereotyping..."
"Shh! I think he's done." Falcon hissed.
The manager placed the papers neatly on his table, and puts some sanitizer around his hands. He cleared his throat before he placed a napkin on his desk, and placed his cupped hands over it.
"So you want to get jobs here, I presume?" The manager asked with a smile. Captain Falcon smiled back, while Mario only smiled forcefully, "Well, needless to say, you two are very well qualified for the job. It would be an honor if two of the Smashers would work for me."
"So does that mean we get the job, Mr...?
"Neatly; Jonathon Z. Neatly. But you can call me John." The manager --Mr. Neatly-- said while getting up, "And yes, you two get the job."
"Oh thank you, 'John'." Captain Falcon said with a light chuckle, "We will not let you down."
"I know you won't, because today happens to be a very special day for me." Mr Neatly said. He then walked to a portrait of himself next to his desk, "You see, I am a man who has worked all his life to keep this town and this facility free from any disgusting germs. I've been keeping this place clean for the last thirty years, and today, I will be inducted in the hall of cleaningness for being the most clean person of all time. Ho ho ho ho ho!"
"I see. Congratulations!" Captain Falcon said.
"Oh, thank me when I get the award later today." Mr Neatly said, "Now, my boys, let's get to work. Make sure you don't leave any spots behind. Ho ho!"
"Don't worry, 'John', Mario and I will make sure to 'clean' this place out." Falcon said happily.
"Oh-a brother..." Mario facepalmed.
Captain Falcon and Mario then left Mr. Neatly's office, and were now in the core of the plant, which had several railings, and with the center having humongous tubes cleansing out the unmentionables gathered from the pipes in town.
"Alright, we're in!" Falcon said looking over the railings, "Now all we have to do is sweep the place from top to bottom without getting caught."
"That-a sounds time consuming... but let me-a guess, it will-a take-"
"Yes, it will probably take atleast 5 minutes." Falcon replied while Mario only sighed. "Okay, let's go!"
And so, the two began to search every single part of the plant, which I will not give any details, because I'm too lazy to point out where they were looking.
--14:42 P.M.--
Captain Falcon and Mario returned back from where they started their search, as they have failed to find any traces of the antagonist.
"Oh... Falcon-"
"FIVE MINUTES! It will take another five minutes to find him!" Falcon blurted out.
"Well-a, no! It will take-a billion hours to find-a anything here with-a your searching-a skills!" Mario yelled.
"Okay, let's just calm down..." Falcon breathed in and out slowly, "Let's just observe our surroundings again, and see what we can find this time in calm and slow manner."
"As-a if we hadn't-a been going-a slow already..." Mario muttered.
Captain Falcon looked over the railings, looking over the main floor filled with workers, "Nothing here but... wait a sec!" Falcon noticed someone in particular, sneaking around the floor.
"Did you-a find anything?" Mario asked.
"That man there; he's looks very suspicious." Falcon said rubbing his chin, "And he's not wearing the regulation uniform... and he's attracting mud into the facility! Who is he!?"
"Hee hee hee!" The mysterious person stood in the center of the floor, as it turns out he/she was the same person spying on Falcon and Mario from before, "Hey, everybody!" Yelled the person, "They are giving out free cupcakes in the cafeteria!"
"CUPCAKES! YAYZ!" All the workers exclaimed with delight as they left their positions, and rushed towards the cafeteria, leaving the main floor empty.
"Cupcakes!? At this hour!? That liar! Why would he say something like that!?" Falcon asked enraged.
"Actually, I think it's a woman. Or atleast he-a sounds like-a one." Mario said upon observation.
"He, she, whatever! Just what is that person doing!?" Falcon asked.
The evil person approached the main valves in the facility, and turned them one by one counter-clockwise, causing a malfunction to the system. "Hee hee hee hee! Once I mess up the flows of the sewage pipelines, the whole town will be flooded with their own unmentionables! The whole place will be such a wreck, not even Falcon will have the 'guts' to look for me! Mwa ha ha ha ha!"
Falcon's eyes widened with rage, "Did you hear that? DID YOU HEAR THAT!? That's the fiend we've been looking for! Let's get him/her!"
"Whoa!" Mario chased after Falcon by jumping over the railing, and landing on the main floor. The evil person turned around to see Falcon and Mario in front of them.
"Stop right there, you fiend! We found you, and we're not letting you escape!" Falcon exclaimed while pointing at the person.
"Gah! Falcon! We meet at last!" The evil person said, "You're pretty fast in finding me, Falcon, but I've been watching you this whole time when you were in town... not that I was there when you heard someone laughing, though."
"Whoever you are, you will not escape from me! I will bring you to justice!" Falcon exclaimed.
"No, you won't!" The Evil person said. Without turning around, he turned the valve behind him, causing an alarm to go off. "Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" The person the flees from the scene as Falcon gives chase.
"Mario, turn the valves back the way they were! I'm going after him/her!" Falcon yelled before running off.
"O-O-Okay!" Mario panicked as he rushed over to one of the valves, and starts turning them, "Oh, this is so intense...!"
Falcon chased the person up the stairs, as the person then grabbed a drum oil on the higher floor, and pushed it down the stairs towards Falcon. "RAPTOR BOOST!" Falcon uppercuts the drum oil, and goes after the person even faster. Once Captain Falcon reached the corridor, he sprints towards the person that was about to leave through the exit. "I got you!"
"Hya!" But the person turned some small valves near the exit, causing it to blow out steams from the pipes, blinding Falcon when he got close.
"Ugh!" Falcon gasped as steam stopped coming out, and looked to see that the evil person has already escaped through the exit, and heard his/her laughter echoing in the background. "I won't let you get away!"
"FALCON!" Mario yelled loudly, getting Falcon's attention, "I need you're-a help! I can't-a get all the-a valves in time by myself-a!"
Falcon looks back at the exit, trying out what to do, "Urgh... hold on, Mario! I'm coming!" Falcon exclaimed as he rushed back to where Mario was.
The machines were acting crazy, as the pressure meter near the valves were at their limits. Mario was turning them as fast as he could, but it seems he was running out of time. "Hiya!" Falcon then jumps in, and helps Mario with the valves. With the two of them working together, they were able to twist all the valves in time before the pipelines could explode in town.
"Phew... we-a made it." Mario said, as he sat down, catching his breath.
"That fiend may have gotten away... but atleast we saved the town..." Falcon said, sitting down beside Mario. He then looked, and looked at the monitor on the wall, depicting the status of the pipes throughout town. He blinked as he noticed the facility in the map flashing red. "Mario... what is going on in that screen?"
Mario looks at the screen, and nods, "Oh, that is the-a status of where the sewage is flowing within the pipes in town."
"I see... is the plant there suppose to be flashing like that?" Falcon asked calmly.
"I don't-a know... maybe those-a arrows in the pipes pointing-a to the-a plant has-a something to-a do with it." Mario replied, seeing the screen depicting the pipes in the map underground flowing the sewage directly towards the plant simultaneously.
The two remained quiet as they saw the word 'warning' flashing over the plant in the map. A few seconds later, they sat up frantically, and rushed back to the valves.
"I think we-a turned them too-a much! We got-a hurry, or this-a place will-!"
"Don't panic! The sewage is moving slow enough for us to get things back in order!" Falcon yelled while twisting the valves, "Just as long as nobody flushes within the next five seconds, then we are a-okay!"
-
Meanwhile, a cute, little pink anthropomorphic cat girl was watching TV in her living room, and you can clearly see the sewage treatment plant from out her window.
"Oh! I gots to go potty! Nya, nya nya, nya nya!" The cat girl skipped merrily towards the bathroom, and closed the door.
And a few second later, after flushing the toilet, you can clearly see from out of the cat girl's window, that the entire sewage treatment plant exploded into a mushroom cloud of... human depositories.
-
The entire plant was destroyed, and it was covered with unmentionables. All the workers are covered with it too, as one them looked at the stinky cupcakes, and cried.
Falcon and Mario emerged from the unmentionables, as they were covered by it from head to toe. "Oh, mama-mia... this will-a never come off..."
"Yes, it is unfortunate what happened here, but atleast no one was hurt." Falcon said with a smile.
Then suddenly, Mr. Neatly emerged from the dirty pile of unmentionables behind our heroes. Falcon and Mario looked behind their shoulder to see Mr. Neatly infuriated with them, as he had several veins popping out on his forehead, his hands clenched into fists, and not to mention that he was dirty.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU TWO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS MESS!?!" Mr. Neatly asked furiously.
Mario was terrified by Mr. Neatly as he hid behind Captain Falcon for protection. "Oh, h-hello, John." Falcon said with a weak smile.
"You don't have the right to call me by my first name anymore! YOU WILL CALL ME MR. NEATLY!"
"O-O-Okay, Mr. Neatly, I can understand why you're upset, but we can fully admit that all of this wasn't fully our fault." Falcon said calmly, but Mr. Neatly only got angrier, "Um, alright. But the important thing is that nobody got hurt."
And at that moment, a thin bald man with round glasses, and a brown suit came through the open entrance, holding a certificate with his right arm.
"Salutations, good sirs. I am from the cleaningness association." Said the bald man with a nazal voice, "I've come here to induct Mr. Neatly into the Hall of Cleaningness with this certificate."
Mr. Neatly gasped, and looked at the certificate man, "Oh no!" Mr. Neatly said horrified.
The man then took note of his surroundings, and his smile disappeared. "Hmm..." The man didn't looked amused as he took out a white glove, and puts it on his right hand. The man knelt down, dragging his finger across part of the floor that wasn't covered with doodoo. He then looks at his finger, seeing a little smudge on it.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh my, this simply will not do." The man then grabs the certificate, and tears it to shreds as the pieces fell on the floor, "Have a good day, Mr. Neatly. I'm sure you'll get the award in the next thirty ears."
The man left as Mr. Neatly crawls towards the pieces, and picks them up one by one. He then snarled as he grabbed the back of his hair, and pulled the majority out of his skull. With a fierce look in his eye, he turned back at Falcon and Mario who gulped as Mr. Neatly pointed at them.
"You will pay severely for this!!" Mr. Neatly.
"Mr. Neatly, I cannot express how sorry I am right now." Falcon said, "Please, tell us what we can do to resolve this."
"Yes, Mr.-a Neatly; we-a really want to-a make it-a up to you." Mario nodded in agreement.
"Oh, you'll be doing for something for me alright!" Mr. Neatly fumed, "Starting today: you will clean all this mess; you will repair all the damages; and you will be working for me day and night for an entire month!"
"A whole-a month!?" Mario gasped as he then sighed, "Oh... well-a... I guess we-a deserve this, right-a, Captain-a Falcon?" Mario then to Falcon, but to his surprise, he disappeared. "Captain-a Falcon?" Captain Falcon was gone from the scene, as Mario nervously looked back at Mr. Neatly, who was so angry, he didn't even notice that Falcon disappeared.
"GET TO WORK, SLAVE!!!"
"Owaowaowaowaowaowa!" Mario cried as he grabbed a mop, and started cleaning up the place, while Mr. Neatly began to pull more of his own hair out again.
Far off on the fields, Captain Falcon panted heavily as he looked back at the destroyed plant, ashamed for ditching Mario.
"I'm so, Mario, but I cannot afford to waste a whole month with you." Falcon said sternly as he then looked ahead, "I must capture this villain at all costs, before it is all too late! ... But I need another sidekick first."
Falcon then limped away, with flys flying around his head in the process.
--14:54 P.M.--
Peach was still waiting for Mario to come back, as Luigi had foam coming out of his mouth, "Gingerbread... I like... gingerbread..."
"Ugh, Mario is taking too long! I'll go get something for Luigi myself." Peach said a little angry as she dropped Luigi on the floor, and went into the mansion to get something for him.
So, that's one sidekick down. Who will be next? I won't tell, but I will say that I am going in a particular order, and you'll just have to find out what the order is from. Ciao for now!