LOLOL, another update. X3 I suddenly realised that I made Bakura quite a thinking type in this fic. I guess I can see him being careful to watch the world around him, make judgements of what he observes means to him, etc. Also, I get the feeling this fic's plot is more character driven than some of my other ones which rely on tons of events or whatever. Hn. But I like fleshing characters out so wooo. XDD

In any case, read on and if you review too, you'll get a giant cake! *shot to pieces* XD

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Chapter Three: Shame

Bakura's POV

Who did I want to please more? Malik or Mariku?

Who did I want more? Malik or Mariku?

Whose plans do I like the least? Malik's or Mariku's?

The answer to every single question was Mariku.

So how should I put it? I have no idea what to say right now!

You see, I promised Malik that I would help him out with getting together with Ryou. In return, he said he'd help me with Mariku. It's one of those deals that I know I can't go back on just like that. I can't.

But what Mariku wants, it feels like no matter the circumstances, I have to go along with it. I feel commanded by Mariku's will. It seems I have a problem with being a bitch for the Ishtar's. That problem needs to be dealt to as soon as possible. The thing is, going along with what Mariku wants, while it will most certainly make me get a higher ranking in Mariku's books, it's going to take me down a gazillion ranks in Malik's books once he realises what's going on.

Malik is the type of person who has the potential to find out any information he wants. Even if nobody were to tell Malik that I'm seducing him because Mariku suggested it, he'd find out one way or another. I just know he would.

"...What?" Was that honestly the best response I could make? Certainly I can do better than that. I faked a smirk and cocked my head to the side, attempting to look as laidback about his favour as possible. "Why would you ask me to do that?"

Mariku sat back and raised an eyebrow. I suppose to him, his plans were entirely normal. Or at least, this one was one of his less crazy ones. "Because you two are hot sex." Oh my, referring to his brother as Hot Sex. I quite like the fact he referred to me as Hot Sex too. Even though that really didn't help answer my question. I pointed this out to him and he groaned. "Malik seems to be in a shitty mood and what better way to improve the mood than a good old fuck?"

I love how blatantly Mariku throws around his words. Even though he says weird stuff, it amuses me. Nobody could possibly get bored when around this guy.

"No seriously. Why the hell?"

The spikey-haired Egyptian hesitated with a blank look upon his face. We waited a couple of moments. Then he regained his composure and burst out laughing, acting as if we didn't have some kind of demented silence just then. "Don't they say that having a fuck buddy fixes everything?"

I sighed. "Do you really think sex solves everything?"

"Of course not. Explosions are really arousing too. But I'm sick of my brother Malik being so bad tempered and having no mates. He's a virgin, that's a shocker amongst teens in this day and age so I figured that well, I'll just find solutions to my brother's many problems one by one and I think the best place to start is the loner issue."

"Oh Ra, Mariku!" I chuckled, using the 'Oh Ra' phrase that Mariku used when Malik tripped over yesterday lunchtime. "You can't expect me to seduce him. Anyway, Ryou said he'd be his friend. Isn't that good enough?"

"But I think-"

"I'm not going to."

I know about the art of seduction. What it involves. All it tends to result in is a flare of lust. Like a flame. But flames burn out. And what was the point in making Malik satisfied temporarily only for things to be much worse than they were to begin with? Malik may put up a tough front but he's really a vulnerable guy on the inside. Surely Mariku is aware of that. But I suppose he's used to being tough inside and out.

Plus Malik's plan has... more dignity in it. I can't even imagine what hitting on Malik would be like. He'd look at me funny and call me an idiot or punch me for being perverted. There'd be no fun in that. Malik's plan also allows me to get closer to Mariku.

Actually, now that I think about it... The fact that Mariku's suggesting this plan means he's shoving me off to the side with his brother. That bastard.

But the dark eyes that Mariku was giving me now could convince anyone that his ideas were better. No, I think it would impress him more if I stood up to him. I know those eyes were a warning but I no longer cared. He wants a stupid favour and someone has to tell him it's stupid.

"The idea is stupid."

"You're no fun..." he grumbled as he watched Malik and Ryou return with the drinks. His eyes lit up while all I could think at that exact moment was... well, shit. That wasn't the response I wanted to receive.

A nudge on my arm snapped me back to the ongoing situation. Malik was lightly hitting my arm with the bottle of lime milk that I ordered. I nodded at him and he still looked irritated. His face was bright red but he still looked annoyed. I'm seriously going to have to question him about this later.

"Ryou, Ryou, Ryou!" Mariku pulled my brother's arm and sat him on his lap. Ryou's cheeks flushed pink as me and Malik eyed them enviously. For very different reasons. I don't think Mariku realises that I really don't feel at my best right now with him saying I'm no fun and then paying attention to my brother. I know he looks out for my brother as a friend but it still pisses me off.

Malik on the other hand looked set to kill. I soon realised that the Ishtar twins were having a silent conversation. They understood each other just like that. The next thing I knew as Mariku began forcing Ryou to drink chocolate milk too was that Malik just grabbed me by the back of my shirt collar and was attempting to yank me up. But sadly for him, I was firmly planted in my seat so he looked like a hopeless case, failing to force me out of my chair.

"Bakura, get up! We have to get... uh... get our gear for... Science!" Malik snapped and I immediately stood up. Getting gear for Science was a pathetic excuse considering it's the last subject for today but I could tell that Malik wanted to leave and if I objected, that would make things tons more difficult. Plus, I felt awkward too. I guess leaving isn't a bad idea.

As we proceeded to make our way out of the cafeteria, Mariku yelled after us. Or more, me. "Bakura, you can always change your mind!" Eh, he still hasn't given up on that.

Malik turned and scowled at Mariku. Many students went silent. I guess a showdown between the Ishtar twins would be something anyone would watch intently. "I know you said something to Bakura! Tell me!"

Mariku twirled a strand of Ryou's hair round his finger. He's being way too laidback. Doesn't the fact Malik looks ready to kill you bother you? I didn't know whether I was annoyed or impressed. This is weird. Normally I'd side with Mariku but for some reason, I wanted to be on Malik's side and be irritated too. I'm always going to prefer Mariku over Malik but I'm allowed to disagree with Mariku and agree with Malik every once in a while... right?

"I asked Bakura to deflower you because you're such an anti-social bitch but he said no. Guess he was horrified at the idea of doing you," Mariku replied casually and I felt my face burn up. Damn it, Mariku! I glanced at Malik as did many others: all eyes were on him, anticipating his reaction.

He slowly reached for an empty chair and began picking it up. Raising it in the air, I realised what he was thinking of doing. "Malik, it's not worth it!" I tried to intervene but his furious expression didn't change and he only lifted the chair up higher.

"...I don't submit to fucktards!" he yelled as he smashed the chair back to the ground. I watched in amazement as one of the chair legs snapped as it hit the floor of the cafeteria. Without another word, he dashed out of the cafeteria. I glanced at the chair and contemplated what to do. There was an eerie silence in the cafeteria, probably confused at what just happened.

I let out a loud sigh. "Mariku, are you and your brother often like this?"

Mariku finished his chocolate milk and chucked the bottle to my feet. "Don't worry. Everytime I piss him off and he runs off to sulk, he comes back a stronger person. There's a certain kind of joy to that. Malik can handle it when a person is harsh."

Hm, I can kind of see what Mariku's saying. In a sense, he's trying to toughen his brother up and make him learn how to deal with things himself. He's showing Malik that the world is one heck of a cruel bitch. I think he's aware of many things like Malik's vulnerability. He just responds differently to how most others would.

"Still Mariku-kun," Ryou spoke up nervously, aware that almost everyone was still silent, listening in on our conversation. "There's a fine line between-"

"Stop it." All eyes were on me now. Oh, I just spoke. I found myself picking up the chair and giving all the other students a threatening look. "I'm throwing this chair at anyone who doesn't go back to what they're doing and pretend like nothing ever happened!" I yelled and almost everyone turned away and tried to build up a conversation as if nothing ever did happen. I paced the room and eventually handed it to Mariku. "I'm out of here. Anyone acts like a dick and you have the right to smash this chair in their face."

I'm sure that after this, the Ishtar twins wouldn't be the only twins with a screwed up reputation.

So I ditched the cafeteria and made it my plan to find Malik. This proved harder than I thought. I searched around many areas of the school and remembered that I hadn't learned about all the places in the school where Malik hangs out. Eventually I went to a corner with many trees and a tall fence that prevented students from trying to escape. Ah, there's someone behind one of the trees. I'll look stupid if I check and it's not him. But I'll try.

I poked my head around the corner and a familiar student with his head facing the tree. Flaxen blonde hair, dark skin... Yeah, it's Malik. "Yo." His head jerked up at me instantly and he looked set to kill but his face softened when he saw it was me. I stared at his hand, which was clutching a craft knife. "...What's with the knife?"

"Look," he pointed at the tree. I looked closely and saw heaps of slash marks on the bark. Was he trying to slash a pattern? No, they looked too random. "Whenever I get frustrated with my brother, I attack this tree. I cut the bark because... I don't know. I just do."

"Well, better the tree than yourself," I remarked with a flat tone. Sighing again, I added, "...Gee, you really do have issues." He stabbed the tree when I said that and took his hand away, leaving the knife there. "Seriously, why are you so all over the place? You act like an ass around me, sulk when Mariku annoys you and then get all nervous around Ryou!"

"...I don't know. I don't really have... people skills. It used to be easier when it came to Touzoku-kun. I used to treat him similarly to how I treat you and everyone else... But one day, I became more conscious of Touzoku-kun when I realised how kind he was to me... I don't know how to thank him for forgiving my ways. I guess I just need to find the halfway line between being an ass and being shy..."

I kneeled down beside him and took the knife, shooting him a glare. "No fucking kidding! You may be a pms-ing bitch but you don't have to make it obvious to the world!" I was expecting a punch but I didn't get one. Malik looked at me and smirked.

"Say, what if you did say yes?"

"To what?"

"To Mariku wanting you to seduce me?"

I went bright red. Malik, awkward question, okay? "Sorry to disappoint you, but I still don't want to seduce you."

Now I got that punch, this time on the shoulder. "Let me rephrase that. How would you have done it?"

"I don't know. There's just no point in seducing you."

"Fine, I'll be direct. Teach me the art of seduction."

"...What?"

"If Mariku thinks you can seduce someone, then you're capable. He doesn't ask favours like that from just anyone, you know."

I shook my head, totally not following what was happening. "Wait, wait. You want me to teach you how to... flirt?"

Malik nodded. "That's basically what I said, right?"

"...You have got to be kidding me."

The blonde sighed, placing his hands on my knees and his head looking down at the grass we were kneeling on. "Mariku is aware of... my crush on Touzoku-kun. So he's deliberately paying attention to Touzoku-kun like that in front of me. He has that confidence and charm that Touzoku-kun is unable to say no to."

"So you want to be able to charm Ryou?" I concluded from his words. I figured that could've been the case. They had that silent exchange earlier in the cafeteria and I knew that something was going on there.

"Yeah because then I could... be the satisfied one for once. I could defeat Mariku and have Touzoku-kun. Anyway..." he got to his feet and lightly took the knife from my hands. He placed the knife in this opening in the tree and grabbed my wrist. As the Egyptian pulled me up, I noticed something different with his eyes. They looked more confident, determined. I guess Mariku was right. "Thanks, Bakura."

I raised an eyebrow. "What's with the thanks?"

He grinned. "You said no to a favour that while it would've impressed Mariku heaps if you pulled it off; it was a favour that wouldn't have sat well with me. I know you favour him to me but still, you thought about me and ended up saying no. It turns out you're a more reliable slave that I initially thought," he explained while I rolled my eyes. Ah, I see.

"Don't expect me to be that reliable. I don't do stuff like that for free. Nor will I teach you some social skills for free either," I told him, copying his grin. "I am not your slave; I do not work under you."

"Oh Bakura-sama, would you honour me by sharing your wisdom?" Malik muttered sarcastically. I laughed at this.

"Do keep that up, I quite like being a sama." He jabbed my side and started walking off. I had to run and catch up. "Oi, Malik! Work on toning down your urge to punch someone into next week!"

"So long as I try to refrain from doing so in front of Touzoku-kun, I'll be fine."

"No, you won't be!"

"Why not?"

"Word gets around! He knows you smash up classrooms and stuff!"

"Shit! I suppose I can't smash up classrooms from now on!"

"Isn't not smashing up classrooms common sense?"

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"And so..." the English teacher began, "I'll be drawing up our seating plan for the entire semester."

But all I could think was... this teacher is doomed. Doomed to hell. Why? He has two Ishtar's in his classroom. A disruptive one and a destructive one. The air of the classroom felt incredibly heavy as Malik and Mariku chose to be on opposite ends of the classroom. From the looks of things, the teacher understood too. He showed us the seating plan and I found that I was placed next to Mariku and Malik was put at the other side of the class beside Yugi.

I could see Yugi struggling with whether to talk to Malik or not. He made the wise decision not to; Malik looked pretty irritated. I guess he didn't fancy having Mariku in his class and knowing him, he probably wanted to continue discussing plans with me. I however, was quite satisfied at having the handsome yet irritating Mariku sitting beside me.

Mariku seems to sit with a bit of a slouch yet he still looked like he was in control. He noticed me watching him and grinned. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"That you're a bitch."

He sighed, disappointed. "What, am I not being seductive enough?"

"I always thought being too seductive was your problem..." I muttered, slamming my textbooks on my desk. Mariku flashed his brilliant smirk at me before kicking his feet up and placing them on his desk.

"Ishtar! Feet off the desk!" the teacher ordered but Mariku kept them firmly planted.

"Malik, you heard the teacher!" Mariku shouted. "Feet off the desk!"

"These feet will be kicking your face soon if you don't cut it out!" Malik snapped.

Like I said, this teacher is doomed to hell. Perhaps the rest of us are doomed too. "Oh yes, why did I have to get stuck with the Ishtar twins? Right, Malik will be Ishtar-kun and Mariku will be..."

"Ishtar-sama?" Mariku finished the teacher's sentence for him with a slightly hopeful expression. I was probably the only one to dare laugh at this but I didn't care. It especially felt good when Mariku glanced at me, clearly in approval.

"With that attitude, you'll be Ishtar-baka," the teacher sighed and then he started the usual drawl of the general plan for the year. Ah, sounds like a load of essays, a novel study, a film study, poetry study, and the usual unfamiliar texts shit... God, English could actually be more interesting if they threw in some study on particular genres of literature, particularly the mystery and horror genre stuff.

But the school curriculum means that everything we study will bore us to tears. Of course. No surprises.

When the teacher decided to make us copy notes from the board, we finally got a chance to whisper amongst ourselves.

"I suppose..." Mariku began with a low voice, "I suppose that being his trusty roommate is good enough for now."

"I hope you're actually being serious with that," I remarked. Mariku hadn't even started copying down notes yet while I'd already scribbled down half of them.

Mariku snickered at this. "I am, I am. By the way, I know about Malik. He knows I know. I figure you know too."

"I think I know what you're talking about."

"About Ryou."

"Figures. Damn brother of mine."

"I think Malik just wants proof of forgiveness."

"I think you're just getting in the way because it pisses him off."

"I'm getting in the way because it pisses me off."

I decided that now was the time to be careful with my words. It was lucky that nobody else could hear us but what was being said here bothered me. If only I had time to interpret his words and see the meanings. Mariku had a funny way of being direct yet not really. He liked to mess with your mind and then when you get it, you realise that it all should have been painstakingly obvious.

"Bakura, Malik needs to back off."

"Why do you even give a damn? Ryou's my brother; I don't mind him and Malik together."

"Ryou can't have an Ishtar. We both know Ryou. But neither of you know a thing about the Ishtar's." Mariku's tone was harsh and somehow, I didn't mind this. I didn't care how he behaved around me; I would tolerate anything. But I knew this to be true. What do Ryou or I know about Malik and Mariku? In time, would we ever know?

Is this lack of knowledge going to forever be the rift between Mariku and me, Ryou and Malik?

"Don't think you know all about the Touzoku's either," I said dryly, not sure what else to say.

"I know that Ryou writes-"

"Don't say it!"

...Shit, what did I just say? Mariku stared at me in surprise. I just cut him off and shouted at him. But I got the feeling I knew what he was going to say. That means he knows..! Fuck, he knows! Ryou, now two others know your secret. I never thought Mariku would get to know something like that. I really didn't want him to know either.

Because... because it makes me feel so ashamed. Because I know what Ryou writes. And who he's writing to.

"Touzoku, keep your voice down!" the teacher snapped and then went back to writing up more notes on the board. I dropped my pen on my desk and looked over at Malik who was staring at the window. If I could ignore the whole classroom feel, I could see it.

He is looking out that window and watching the endless blue sky, under the belief that his wish will come true. What he wished for, I can't be definite but what I do know is that Malik has probably experienced so much more in life than I can even imagine.

I wish that all those books I've read gave me insight. But no, I am just a shameless guy reading it for the heck of it, not even really taking anything to heart. I can't understand anything. Perhaps I'm not supposed to.

But even I can see the certain tragedy that clung tight to the Egyptian known as Malik Ishtar. Would he let Ryou know? He needs to remember that things have to be even between him and Ryou.

After English finished, Mariku was the first to run out the door. I had no idea why he was being so hasty to get away. I walked over to Malik who was still staring idly out the window. We were the only ones left in the classroom. "Mariku's running away because he said something he feels he shouldn't have. He's so upfront that there's stuff he'd say that even he feels was unnecessary to say," Malik told me in a far away voice. "...I wanted to see your expression when you yelled out at Mariku not to say something. But then I thought, hey, I hate it when people can see my vulnerability. So I looked out the window instead but..."

"But?"

He swirled his hair round and stared up at me with those amethyst eyes. "But nothing."

I let out a sigh. "Mariku wants you to back off."

"It's because he knows the truth."

"Ha?"

The blonde Egyptian grinned at me. "Don't worry. My hardships are my hardships. Your hardships are your hardships. I'll tell you mine if I feel like it and same goes for you."

I nodded. He's right. These things take time. Perhaps someday, I'll make it so Ryou and Malik can confide in one another. I have no idea about me and Mariku. Maybe we aren't supposed to be like that. We'll be crazy people dominating over the world. It's weird but I wouldn't mind ending up doing that. I sound like I'm destined to be evil or something when I think about stuff like that.

"I get really... bored with life. There's so much I want to do but I get held back by so much. I took that knife for a moment because... because... I wanted to carve out my own frustrations too..." I found myself speaking up, staring at my hand, which I then clenched. "Sometimes I really don't mind a person but sometimes I find myself hating them. Too often, I've gone back and forth from thinking, 'Mariku is fucking awesome' and 'Mariku is fucking annoying'."

"And some days, you just want to fuck him?"

"Yes!" I blurted out before realising what I just agreed to. Malik rolled his eyes.

"Pervert." He sat up at last, shoving his books in a book bag and proceeding to the exit. I followed him out and we made our way to Gym class. The teacher will probably yell at us for being late but I really don't give a damn. I seriously don't.

---

We arrived at Gym class and found we had to do athletics. Everyone had to run around the field and all this crap. Mariku's in our Gym class as well. He kept away from us though, mostly because he had others of his gang in the class to hang around. I couldn't help but smirk when the teacher called them out and forced them to do a 400 metre race.

To my surprise, Malik stepped up and said he'd race too. I saw him shoot a snide look at Mariku and muttered something back. This piqued everyone's interest of course. They went to the starting line and each took their lanes. Malik was in lane one, Mariku in lane eight and as for the others, I didn't care. The teacher got their starting gun and did the classic 'On your marks! Set! Go!' thing.

The gunshot was heard and they began to sprint. Oh yeah, the 400 metre dash is actually a type of sprint race after all. It's just the longest one. Cheers from the class were crazy as Malik, Mariku and his cronies ran. And I watched as Malik sprinted his heart out while the others didn't bother to attempt properly. I saw Mariku pick up the pace suddenly at seeing Malik pass him.

The cheers drowned out my own so I found myself tuning out the noise and focusing on the race itself. Wow, Malik must be a really good runner. He was actually leaving Mariku in the dust. Then Mariku stopped running altogether after passing the 200 metre corner.

People were confused as to why Mariku stopped running but clapped as Malik came around the last corner, way ahead of all the others. As he made a dash down the lane, I understood as he passed us observing students. I saw his facial expression and knew. While the others were amazed at Malik's running ability, I realised it wasn't him being a naturally fast runner. Well, he could be. But his face showed the reasons why he pushed himself to sprint so quickly.

On his face was a look of desperation. It didn't matter whether he beat everyone else so long as he beat Mariku. Malik takes a lot of shit from his brother and I can imagine that Mariku could be to blame for Malik's personality. So he wanted to push himself to the extreme just so he can have a victory.

I think I can relate to that sort of thing. When you have a twin brother, you are always compared to them no matter how similar or different you are to one another. People always say to me, 'Ryou's the sweet twin while you're the sour one' or stupid stuff like that. Malik's probably used to being told that Mariku's the crazy, fun one and that he's the bad-tempered jerk. If I had Mariku for a twin brother, I suppose I'd feel pretty damn inferior too.

Since when did I suddenly get all insightful? I have no idea but as Malik crossed the finish line and the students rushed over to him, I felt I didn't have to be look into things so much for now.

"I told you," Mariku said, approaching me. He must've cut straight across instead of finishing properly. "Malik takes shit but shit is part of what drives him to do better. So long as he continues to do that, I can continue to acknowledge him as my brother."

I smirked at him. "You know he pulls himself together no matter what you do. I swear one day, Malik will end up being the cause of your death or something."

Mariku burst out laughing at this. "And that'll be the day he becomes my favourite." He then looked up and then scooted away from me. Malik jogged over to me and looked ready to collapse from running so hard. I decided to let the Egyptian lean on me for support. Ah, I guess Mariku doesn't want to talk to Malik just yet.

"I'll... I'll do it..!" he spoke while panting. "I feel... determined to..! Tomorrow, I'll find... a way to confess..."

I stared at him, bewildered. "Malik, are you serious?"

"You're not my slave. You don't have to tutor me on things or watch out for me all the time because... I know... I know I can do this. I'll confess and end your servitude!"

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The cake was a lie, bitch. Okay, not really. *hands cake over* But yup, Malik means what he said so he's going to attempt a confession next chapter. The next chapter also has some insight on Malik and the parts of his backstory that concern Ryou and how he came to like Ryou and all that. So fwee. X3 But cuz the chapter will be a Malik centric chapter, he'll get to be the one with a POV for the chapter.

So um review and lend your support to Malik! XDDDD I'll shut up now.