Dedications: This chapter is dedicated to those reviewers who have been constantly begging, hurrying, pestering and actually being patient with me to get to this point in the story!… You know who you are… ;-D (And I love you all the more. Yay!)
Year: 1972, 2nd Year
Sirius' Story:
Quote of the Day:Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you…
After James got into the Quidditch team he was out more often at practice. The Gryffindor Quidditch team started practicing four nights a week so that their new team members were sure to be up to scratch. With James at practice almost every night I spent more time with Remus and Peter.
That was when I began to notice things about Remus that I had dismissed or not thought about much in our first year – like he was always sick and pale for days at a time every single month without fail, and he disappeared only to come back weary and dazed. His excuses for his disappearances varied but mostly he said it was because his mother was sick all the time. I was the only one who noticed these regular absences though, because James was too caught up in Quidditch and Peter didn't really take notice or he wasn't bright enough to figure out the clues. After all, he always believed Remus whenever he told Peter that his mother was sick.
But I knew better.
I knew since our first year that Remus wasn't telling the truth about things, such as where he went every month, but I was reluctant to push the subject. Every time I did Remus got snappy and closed me off. I hadn't put the whole picture together until it hit me one night a couple of days after one of Remus' regular absences.
"Hey Remus, whacha doin'?" I asked as I slid into a chair next to the fire in the Gryffindor common room. James and Peter took chairs around the fire as well. It was a Thursday night and James, Peter and I had just come back from dinner. Remus hadn't been at dinner and I was wondering why.
Remus was flicking through a thick leather bound book and scribbling hastily onto a piece of parchment. He looked very pale. "Trying to do the Defense Against the Dark Arts homework," Remus replied, "what are you guys doing?" he asked.
"Nothing – just came back from dinner. Why weren't you there?" I asked curiously.
"I really had to get this homework done, I'm behind," Remus explained as he looked wearily up at the dark sky through the common room windows. The waning light of the moon illuminated his exasperated face.
"Why didn't you do it earlier? If you weren't away last week then you could have had it done by now," James said as he looked down at Remus' attempts at homework.
"I had to go visit my mum again. She was really sick," Remus said.
I surveyed him closely; he was avoiding my eyes. I didn't want to ask any more questions about his 'sick mother' because I knew if I did he would close me off – but I could tell almost straight away that he wasn't telling the truth. He never had been telling the truth from the first year. I gleaned as much, but I never really thought about it much and just dismissed it. But now I wanted to know why.
What could Remus Lupin – the quiet, secretive boy – possibly be hiding?
"Oh, I hope she's better then," Peter said.
"Give me a look," I said and picked up the Dark Arts book from the table attempting to help Remus with a bit of homework. I flicked through the pages.
"I can do it Sirius, give it here," Remus replied and tried to pull the book back off me.
"What are you talking about? I can help you. What are we up to?" I asked looking at the contents.
"Werewolves," Peter replied derisively. He had always been scared of huge monsters. "I wish we didn't have to study those murderous beasts," Peter said, leaning over to look at the page that I had flipped open to. There was a large picture of a werewolf, blood and saliva dripping from its sharp teeth, wiry hair covered its whole body and its amber eyes glinted with malice as it howled and hurtled towards its prey.
"What do we have to write about them?" I asked, taking my eyes off the picture in front of me as Peter sat back and shuddered.
"Um, how to recognize them or something I think, and their history or something like that," James replied.
I started to read the information about werewolves out loud…
"'Werewolves are found worldwide, though they are believed to have originated in Northern Europe. Humans turn into werewolves only when they're bitten. The otherwise sane and normal wizard or Muggle that has been afflicted by a werewolf transforms into a murderous beast once a month. As yet there is no known cure for Lycanthropy …'"
"Are you copying this?" I asked Remus as I read out the passage. I looked up at Remus who looked, if possible, paler then before. His hands were shaking slightly, and he avoided my eyes, but he copied what I was saying down onto the parchment. I read on…
"'Werewolves are hard to recognize as they have the appearance of a normal human when there is no full moon. Some things to look for in distinguishing a werewolf in an untransformed state are:
· Restlessness nearing the full moon
· Periods of absence on and after the date of the full moon
· A pale and sickly appearance in the week proceeding the full moon,'"
I stopped reading and looked up at Remus again, he was shakily copying the work down, and his face was still pale. I scanned the page again; the points seemed to jump out at me for the first time…
'Restlessness nearing the full moon
Periods of absence on and after the date of the full moon
A pale and sickly appearance in the week proceeding the full moon,'
They echoed through my mind.
I looked up at Remus… Surely not? It couldn't be. No… my mind was whirring. What if it was true? It all seemed to fit together, and yet it seemed so… I glanced up at Remus again who was glancing nervously around the common room. He had stopped writing and finally our eyes met for a flicker of a moment.
Suddenly something clicked…
"I. Feel. Sick." Remus choked and hastily packed his gear back inside his bag. "Got-to-go," his voice was trembling as he dashed up the stairs to the boy's dormitory and out of sight.
I still held the Dark Arts book limply in my hands, in shock at what I had just discovered.
"What the hell was that all about?" James asked.
"No idea," Peter replied, completely clueless.
I sat there, my mind was in a daze, surely not Remus, he couldn't be… I thought.
"Sirius, are you going to say something? Or are you just going to sit there looking like a stunned house-elf until Christmas?" James asked, still, apparently clueless.
"Surely not Remus, he can't be… that's not…" I murmured to myself still trying to make sense of the situation.
"Couldn't be what? Not what? What the hell are you talking about?" James demanded.
"It all seems to fit…" I said quietly.
"What fits?" Peter asked.
"Are you going to tell us what you're talking about or should we wait until next Easter?" James asked.
"Read this," I shoved the book into James' hands and pointed to the points on how to distinguish a werewolf.
James, with Peter leaning in to read it, read the points. He read them aloud,
"'Restlessness nearing the full moon
Periods of absence on and after the date of the full moon
A pale and sickly appearance in the week proceeding the full moon,'"
"Where's a moon chart?" I asked as I searched frantically through the various papers lying on the table for a chart.
James stared at me, "You… you think Remus… he's a… he's a werewolf?"
"It's not impossible," I replied.
"It's absurd!" Peter declared instantly.
"No…" James said slowly, "It's not…"
"Yes! It is!" Peter replied. He usually didn't disagree with James but I had a feeling he didn't want to believe it.
I looked at Peter, "Why do you think he's always pale every month? And sick? Why Peter?" I asked, my brain was firing ahead of me, I was already believing that Remus was a werewolf. Half of me was hoping that it was some horrible misunderstanding, that we'd go up to the dormitory and find that Remus was actually sick and wasn't a werewolf, yet the other half was already angry that I had overlooked something as huge as this, and what was more – Remus hadn't even told me!
"Because he's always like that!" Peter broke into my thoughts, "He's always been pale! And he gets sick easily!" Peter said, his eyes wild with fear as he glanced at the picture of the werewolf, "That's just in his nature!"
"He gets sick every month! Once a month!" I hissed, "Where do you think he goes every month and comes back sick and pale and distant!"
"He goes to visit his mother and aunt when they're sick! He said so!" Peter said, not wanting to believe that Remus had been lying to us all this time.
"You really believe that? His mother seemed perfectly fine when I saw her on Platform 9 ¾!" I replied, finally finding the moon chart. "Look! It was full moon a week ago! Where was Remus a week ago? Visiting his sick mother! He's been lying to us!"
"No! No! Remus wouldn't do that!" Peter looked around wildly, as if expecting a fully transformed werewolf to come hurtling out of the shadows and attack him.
"It all makes sense…" I said, thinking back on everything. Remus was sick every month, he was always pale and restless, and when he came back from 'visiting' he seemed jumpy and was angry sometimes even, he was distant and sick. This happened every month. And whenever I would ask him more about his visiting he always became guarded and avoided my questions.
How stupid had we been not to realize it sooner?
Remus had been lying to us ever since we met him! We had shared with him everything and he lies right back to us! I had shared my secrets with him, about my family, about everything, and he didn't even tell us something as big as this!
Anger, shock and disbelief rippled through me.
My mind was on fire.
Remus Lupin – awerewolf! Remus, the Remus I thought I knew so well – a werewolf! Remus the quiet boy, hiding something as big as this from us! And I thought he was my friend! Sure, I knew that Remus was hiding something, that he was secretive – but I thought it was just something trivial, not something as big as him being a werewolf!
"Merlin's balls. A werewolf!" James said suddenly, as if the truth was finally sinking in for the first time for him as well.
"You guys are barmy," Peter said, "Remus can't be a werewolf! It's impossible!" he said, trying to convince himself, more than us, that it wasn't true.
"Why didn't we realize it sooner?" James said, ignoring Peter, "remember when we had to beat that Boggart, and we couldn't work out what Remus' Boggart turned into? We thought it was a crystal ball; it must have been the full moon." James said.
"Of course! But why didn't he tell us!" I said angrily.
Peter was visibly paling.
"And look at this moon chart!" James said grabbing the moon chart, "all the time that he was away it's been a full moon!"
"I can't believe this!" I said.
"Neither can I," replied James.
"I'm going to see him," I said instantly, standing up. I didn't know what the hell I was going to say, but I wanted answers. I wanted to know why he hadn't told us. And I wanted to know right now.
James stood up behind me.
"Are you coming Peter?" I asked, looking down at Peter. But he didn't move an inch; slowly his gaze turned from the book that I had been reading to James and I.
"What?" Peter said hazily, "Oh… no… I'll stay here…. I have to do… things," he said, and started to pick up some of his books.
I stared at him in momentary disbelief. "Suit yourself then!" I said.
I didn't have time for Peter right now. He could stay here for all I cared.
I turned and thundered up the dormitory staircase, James close behind me. As I scrambled up the stairs my brain was still on fire.
I couldn't believe it…
Remus was a werewolf, and we hadn't even noticed…
What was more – he hadn't even told us!
Remus Rants:
Quote of the Day: Friends are like angels; they lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
I slammed the dormitory door behind me and pushed my back up against it. Sirius knows, I thought as I slid down the door.
My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I could feel cold sweat soaking into my robes.
He worked it out.
How could I have been so careless?
As soon as Sirius had started reading out about werewolves my hands had started to shake, the voice inside my brain echoing What if they find out? while a frantic wave of panic washed over me. Peter's voice echoed through my head…
'I wish we didn't have to study those murderous beasts'…
Murderous beasts… the words echoed hollowly through my mind.
I felt my stomach clench in fear, anxiety and anger. How could I be so stupid? Sirius would tell James and Peter. I wondered how long the news would take to circulate the school.
How long it would be until I was kicked out…
How they must despise you… You lied to them…Betrayed them…
They'll never want to talk to you again…
Of course they wouldn't. They'd be scared of me. They'd never be my friends now. I couldn't believe how careless I'd been.
Sirius knows.
He knows.
I thought back to when he was reading the passage out, when our eyes met. I had seen something like verification and disbelief in his piercing gaze. He knew what I was. And by now James and Peter would know as well.
Even in all this turmoil that I was feeling, some small part of me somewhere felt a small relief, I wouldn't have to hide it anymore, I wouldn't have to lie to them any longer. Oh, but what was I thinking! They would disown me straight away. I don't blame them, for who would want to be friends with a werewolf?
I heard the clatter of two pairs of feet making their way up the stairs. What was I going to do? I thought. My mind stopped for a moment. Two pairs? Two? But then… that would mean one of them was missing. One of them was… I didn't have any time to think into it further. My heart was hammering faster than ever now, soon they would be here, and they would demand to know everything. There was no possible way I could escape them now…
The footsteps drew nearer. Suddenly they stopped.
The two must be standing outside the door. Maybe they'd try to hurt me for what I was. Maybe they'd already told the other Gryffindors. Maybe-
"-Open up Remus! We know you're in there!" Sirius' voice demanded angrily as he banged on the door. My heart was practically leaping out of my chest.
"….N….No…" I whimpered.
"Come on Lupin, we know what you are," James' voice came through the door.
"Go away!" I cried desperately. I wished they'd just go away.
"No, we'll stay here all night if we have to. Come on Remus just open the door, we can talk about this," James said.
"Go away!" I repeated.
"Alohamora!" Sirius murmured roughly and the lock on the door clicked open, he tried to push the door open from the other side but I pushed my weight against the door to prevent them opening it.
"Strong little bugger when he wants to be," James muttered.
"Come on Remus! We're your friends! Open up!" Sirius said through the crack in the door.
"No! Just leave me alone!" I said.
"We deserve to know what's going on! We're meant to be your friends!" Sirius said, "I'm not taking any more of this Lupin! You've got ten seconds to move, then I'm going to blast the door down," he said sharply.
Sirius was right. They did deserve answers.
But Sirius was furious with me, and who would blame him? I had been hiding the fact that I turned into a monster who tried to kill once a month from them. I hadn't been honest with them about anything. And they had been so honest with me. Sirius had shared things with me and I had kept something as big as this from them. For a moment I wondered wildly whether Sirius would curse me once he had the door open.
It'd be no more than you deserve A voice said nastily in my head. And it was right, it would be no more than I deserved. Who deserved anything when they betrayed their friends?
What could I do? I looked over to James' trunk, his broomstick was lying on top of it; maybe I could grab it and fly out the window…
And then what? A voice asked in my head.
My hands were shaking frantically. My heart hammered and it felt like my mind completely shut down as Sirius began to count. I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I felt paralyzed.
"1…" Sirius counted.
Memories rushed through my head and time seemed to slow down completely. I thought of all the good times I had shared with my friends. Those good times that were about to come to a devastating halt. I thought of the first time I had met them, on the Hogwarts Express. When they had accepted me with no questions asked.
"Er… H….Hi… Could I sit in here? I just kinda… got kicked out of my compartment," I said nervously, gazing at Sirius Black and James Potter, the two biggest trouble makers I would ever meet, though I didn't know it yet.
"Sure, make yourself at home," James said kindly.
I smiled gratefully and sat down in the compartment..
The two boys introduced themselves as Sirius Black and James Potter. James was the one with the glasses and pink hair and Sirius was the one with the blue hair. I could tell already that they were going to be troublemakers as Sirius and James told me about the curse war they had just had with Sirius' cousin and the slimy boy known as Severus Snape.
"So are you going to leave your face like that or what?" I asked spotty faced James after a while. I was beginning to feel more comfortable in Sirius' and James' presence. It felt good to laugh and talk with people my age. Something that I had missed out on for so long.
"Well I can't exactly fix it. I don't know how, and I'm not letting Sirius either, he'd probably give me antennas or something," James snorted. Sirius and I laughed.
"I could try and fix it for you, though I could only fix the spots, I don't know how to change hair back. I've been practicing a couple of spells," I explained.
"Uh, okay," James agreed.
I pointed my wand at James' face and said a spell, suddenly antennas started to grow out of the top of James' head. I went bright red and Sirius burst out laughing, James looked at his reflection in the window and burst out laughing as well. Soon all three of us were shaking with uncontrollable laughter.
"And I thought Sirius was hopeless!" James said after we had stopped chuckling.
"Sorry! It was worth a try," I apologized.
"No need to apologize Remus, all he needs now is a pair of googely eyes and he'd look like an overgrown insect," Sirius said, and we started laughing again…
"2…" Sirius' voice floated through the door, interrupting my frantic thoughts. "3…"
"Lupin, Remus!" McGonagall called out. We were at the Sorting and our year was being Sorted into the various houses. Sirius had already been Sorted into Gryffindor. I walked forward towards the Sorting Hat, my legs shaking as I felt the whole school staring at me. I wondered how many of the staff already knew about me. I sat down on the chair, my hands gripping the side of the stool shakily. All of sudden thoughts flashed through my head: Did I really belong here? Did I deserve to be here? Did a werewolf belong here? What if I had made a horrible mistake in coming to Hogwarts, I thought, as the hat was placed on my head. Suddenly there was a voice inside my head, the hat could talk!
"Ah, yes, I've been waiting for you, I've heard about you, yes indeed, the wolf," the hat said.
My heart gave a jolt, how did the Sorting Hat know what I was? No one except Dumbledore, the staff and my parents knew what I was.
"Yes, I know what you are, I see you've got a strong heart and mind, hmm, yes, and very courageous too, well, it better be GRYFFINDOR!" The hat yelled as the Gryffindor table applauded, I smiled shyly as I made my way over to the Gryffindor table to sit next to Sirius.
"This is great! We're both in Gryffindor!" Sirius said happily as I sat down.
Yes it was great, I thought to myself…
"4… 5…"
I thought of Peter… of the first time we really became friends…
"…So what is your family like?" Peter asked. We were sitting alone in our dormitory.
"Well, they're pretty good, they've always been looking after me, sometimes though, they can get a bit overprotective," I replied with a smile, reminiscing about my home. I missed it already. I missed being together with my family. Even if my mother was a little too overprotective of me.
"What about your family? What are they like?" I asked.
"They're nice as well, I sort of miss them," Peter replied.
"Yeah, I miss mine as well, I'm an only child, what about you? Do you have any brothers or sisters?" I asked.
"No-well, not yet, I will soon though!" Peter replied excitedly, "Mum's pregnant! She just found out this month, they sent me a letter about it a couple of days ago, I'm excited, this will be my first new brother or sister," he said happily.
"Really?" I smiled, "that's great, I've always wanted a brother or sister, I think it'd be great," I said.
"Yeah, me too, I can't wait," Peter replied…
"6…"
I thought of the time by the lake, when I had found Sirius throwing rocks angrily into the lake. When our friendship really deepened. When Sirius had confided in me.
I was wondering around the Hogwarts grounds, just thinking, wondering where Sirius had got to. Thinking about my life at Hogwarts when I spotted Sirius by the side of the lake, looking furious about something. I stopped and stood behind him.
"You know," I said as Sirius stopped his arm in mid-throw, and I continued, "you could poke the giant squid's eye out the way you're going Sirius."
Sirius dropped the rock he was holding and his arm fell limply to his side, he turned around and faced me, I looked down at him calmly with the hint of a smile.
"What do you want Remus?" Sirius asked icily before turning back around. He started throwing rocks into the lake again, but this time less violently.
"Nothing, I was just walking," I said simply, "of course I can keep walking if you want." I offered. If Sirius wanted to be alone I would completely understand. But if he needed to talk then I would be there for him.
"I don't care," he said, still in a temper.
I thought for a moment, then walked closer to the boy sitting there sullenly and sat down beside him and looked out at the shimmering lake.
"You know I couldn't get back to sleep after you woke us up, you idiot," I said with a smile. After Sirius didn't reply I said, "So I take it that no one tried to kidnap you then?" I asked softly, hoping I could comfort him in some small way.
Sirius continued throwing rocks into the lake, not looking at me he answered, "far from it."
"Want to talk about it?" I asked.
"No," Sirius snapped.
I picked up a rock and threw it into the lake but it didn't go very far. I kept on throwing them.
After a while Sirius snorted at me, "You're hopeless."
I laughed and threw another one in, which didn't go any further than my previous attempts.
"Is that the best you can do?" Sirius asked teasingly.
"Shut up," I replied playfully. Sirius' mood seemed to be improving.
"Look, you have to throw like this," Sirius demonstrated, "put some more elbow-grease into it," he said.
I tried Sirius' version of throwing, and the rock went a little further than any of my others did.
"That's better," Sirius replied, seeming to enjoy my company.
"I bet you can't skim one," Sirius said, picking up a thin rock and skimming it across the surface of the lake skillfully.
Without a word I picked up a rock and skimmed it across the lake, it skimmed across the water perfectly and went even further than Sirius' attempt.
I grinned as Sirius said, "Okay so you can skim a rock, but you still throw like a girl."
"Bite me Sirius," I joked.
"Remus?" Sirius asked after a while, turning his head to look at me.
"Hmm?"
"Do you believe in destiny?" he asked seriously.
I looked at Sirius, "yes," I replied slowly.
"Do you think that you can't escape your own?" Sirius asked.
"That depends," I answered, looking up into the blue depths of the sky.
"On what?" Sirius asked turning back to look at the glimmering lake again.
"On whether you want to or not," I said simply…
"7…"
I thought of one afternoon, in our Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson, when I had really felt a connection with James…
"Mind if I go with you?" James asked, standing in front of my desk and mussing his hair. I shrugged in answer and opened my book to page 137.
"So, Remus…" James said, "how's school going?"
I looked at James strangely. How was school going? Even I could have thought of better conversation starter than that. I mean, I had basically every class with him so he must have a fair idea. But then again, this is James Potter we're talking about here.
One could never tell.
James grinned at me, "Sorry, I was just trying to make conversation… and I'm failing miserably obviously... Look, you know that the only reason Sirius asks all those questions is because he's a curious little git, and well, he's concerned as well… so am I."
I took a while to reply, "I know James. But it's just… it gets annoying. I mean, he just asks too many things, and I get sick of it, I know he means well…"
"Yeah, Sirius can get annoying, but that's his job really," James grinned at me. I smiled a little. "But really, Remus, it's hard to tell what's going on with you. You never tell us much…"
"What is there to tell?"
"Well, anything, whatever you feel like, you know we'll always listen. You listen to us whenever we need to rant so it's only fair if we return the favour. You can tell us whatever you feel like." James replied.
If only I could. Oh how much they didn't know.
And wouldn't want to know.
"Thanks a lot James. I appreciate it." I replied genuinely, looking at him.
"Well, you know, that's what friends are for Remus." James grinned back
"8…"
I thought of my first fight with Sirius, the first fight I had had with any of my friends, and the time we made up…
I opened the door of the dormitory slowly. James and Peter were asleep, their curtains were closed. I could hear Peter's snoring coming from behind his curtained bed.
But Sirius. Sirius was still up. I looked at Sirius as I stood in the doorway. His arms were hugging his legs to his chest. He didn't take his eyes from the dark sky when I closed the door quietly.
"You had no right." Sirius said quietly. His voice cut through the air like a knife.
"I know."
"It wasn't your business."
"I know."
"I'll choose my friends wherever I like. And I'll decide whether they're true friends or not."
I didn't say anything.
"I can look after myself."
"I know."
"I don't need another person telling me what to do or who to be friends with. I get that enough from my family, from Crevan – Bellatrix – Narcissa – Amias – Cyrilla…"
"Sirius…"
His grey eyes flicked at me for a moment, then went back to looking out the window at the stars.
"Before you say anything else. I'm sorry. I'm really very sorry. And I know I was wrong. But I was worried for you. I don't know Mundungus properly; I thought that he might be trying to trick you. I never knew you were good friends. You never told me… I'm sorry."
Sirius didn't reply for a while. Then his voice came, soft, "Seems like we all have our secrets. Doesn't it?"
"Yes." I said, "Sorry."
"Have I ever questioned your friends Remus?"
"No."
"No, I have never. So understand that I can choose for myself who's a true friend and who's not." Sirius said. "That's why I chose you."
Sirius finally turned and looked at me, his eyes boring into my own. "I chose you. To be my friend. I wanted to be your friend. Just like I wanted to be James' friend."
I didn't know what to say to that.
"And I wasn't a proper friend back." I whispered, gulping.
"Remus. You are a proper friend back. A true friend. Just let me choose my own friends, okay?"
I nodded.
There was a short silence.
"Especially if they can get me some kick arse fireworks." Sirius looked at me and grinned. I let out a choked laugh.
The tension was gone.
"So are we okay?" I asked.
"Friends? Of course. Okay? As in normal - sane? I don't really think either of us will ever be able to say that." Sirius laughed.
"9…"
I thought of Sirius' first birthday at Hogwarts. The day when we bonded together as a true group of friends and branded ourselves 'The Marauders'. That day we had done a massive prank on the whole school, but had been discovered by McGonagall. We had just left Dumbledore's office…
"Guys, I've got it!" Sirius said suddenly, as we walked along the corridor away from Dumbledore's office.
"Got what?" Peter asked, puzzled.
"I've got what we can be called!" Sirius said, beaming.
"Well, what is it?" I asked, eager to know.
"It better not be as bad as 'Sirius Black and his sidekicks'," James muttered.
"'The Marauders!'" Sirius said, as if announcing something very big. "It's perfect! Don't you think! It's everything we want it to be! It suggests mischief, it suggests mayhem, and it suggests bedlam and pranks in only two words!" Sirius said happily.
"'The Marauders.'" James repeated, a smile on his face, "It does have a certain ring to it, doesn't it?" James said.
"I like it," I said.
"Me too, sounds good," Peter said.
"And it's all thanks to our favourite Professor, Minerva McGonagall!" Sirius said, "Who would have thought it?" he grinned.
"Certainly not me," James said as we walked up a flight of stairs.
"We can be 'The Marauders: The Magical Mischief Makers'!" Sirius said, holding up his arms and waving them around to emphasize his point. "It sounds brilliant!"
It did have a nice ring to it…
All of a sudden time plummeted ahead, and as Sirius finally said ten I scrambled away from the door, he pushed it to check if I was still behind it and it flung open with a loud bang. Sirius and James stood in the open doorway. Sirius looked angry and James had a mixture of disbelief and, this I couldn't believe, something like suppressed excitement on his face.
I stared up at them for a while, then Sirius begun to say something…. "We know what you are… Why the hell didn't you tell us Remus?" Sirius demanded as he towered above me, wand in hand and an unreadable expression in his gray eyes.
"I…I…" I couldn't answer.
"Did you think that you could keep that big a secret from us without us realizing?" James asked.
"I….I… I wo-"
"Did you think we wouldn't work it out sooner or later!" Sirius growled.
"Y…No…I"
"How stupid do you think we are Remus! How could you lie to us like that!"
"I knew you'd desert me…." I stammered.
"What! Remus, we're your friends, we wouldn't do that to you! I thought you knew that by now!" James said.
"I knew you'd be angry with me… you'd hate me," I said.
"Rubbish, the only reason we're angry with you is because you didn't tell us sooner! Not because you're a …werewolf," James said.
I gaped at them.
"You… you mean that you still want to know me?" I asked in disbelief. I couldn't believe what I was hearing; every time someone had found out what I was they completely deserted me…
"Of course we do you thick headed moronic stupid bloody idiot! We trusted you Remus! I've told you everything! How could you keep something this big from us! How!" Sirius demanded.
"I… I… I had to," I replied, "I wanted to tell you… hell, there were times when I nearly blurted it out… but I couldn't I thought you'd never want to know me. I was having such a good time at Hogwarts and I didn't want it to end… I didn't want our friendship to end… because for once in my life I had found three true friends… and I belonged…" I babbled.
"Did you really think, that after a year and a half of being friends, we'd desert you!" Sirius demanded angrily.
"…Yes." I admitted.
"You stupid bloody prat," he said, "Remus! We're your friends! I don't know what the hell friends means in your vocabulary but to me it means that people are friends no matter what! Even if you are a frickin' werewolf!"
"So you… you still want to be my friend?" I felt my heart rise, "After all this?"
"Of course you idiot," James said.
"Yeah, I've got maniacs for a family, but you guys still wanted to know me!" Sirius said.
"B…But you're not a werewolf…" I said.
"It doesn't matter what I am, or what you are, hell, who cares if you turn into a murderous monster once a month! I wouldn't even care if you had antennas sprouting out of your nose for Merlin's sake! You're still Remus! And we made friends with Remus Lupin!" Sirius said.
"R…Really?" I asked disbelievingly.
"Yes you git!" Sirius replied.
"Look Remus we're still your friends – although I do hope you don't sprout antennas out of your nose anytime soon," James grinned.
"Really?" I asked again.
"Of course you moron. Do we have to imprint it on your bloody forehead until you get that we still want to be your friends?" Sirius replied.
I let out a small laugh, "I just didn't think that you'd want to know me if you knew about it…" I said.
"God Remus, after a whole year you'd think that you'd have worked out that we're genuine friends," James said. I gave a weak laugh.
"You mean… you won't tell anyone?" I asked.
"Yes, we're going to tell everyone. We'll spread it around the school, we'll hand out little pamphlet's saying 'Danger: Remus Lupin is a werewolf'," Sirius said sarcastically.
I guess I could trust them.
"So you're not… scared…?" I asked.
"No, not really. Remus, we know that right now you can't hurt us, we know that you can control yourself. It's only at the full moon when we should be scared." James answered.
I nodded.
"I just can't believe you didn't tell us," Sirius said as he slid down onto the floor next to me, his elbows resting on his knees.
"Sorry…" I said meekly.
Sirius hit me upside the head, "You'll be more than sorry if you ever keep anything like that from us again!" he warned.
Finally he grinned.
I felt relief and utter joy flood through me. So Sirius and James still wanted to be my friends, after everything, after I had lied to them, they still would be my friends.
"Where's Peter?" I asked.
"He's down in the common room. He went sort of weird when we figured it out. I don't know," James said.
I nodded. So Peter was… scared. I gulped. I felt a strange lump in my throat. Of course he would be scared. Who wouldn't be? I don't know why I expected him not to be, now that James and Sirius weren't scared. I felt tears at the back of my eyes. Get a hold of yourself Remus. Boys don't cry. You've been accepted by Sirius and James. What more do you want?
"What's wrong Remus?" James asked, staring at me concernedly.
"What… oh… nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing," I murmured.
"So… How did it happen? I mean, your bite?" Sirius asked, trying to change the subject. He looked uncomfortable.
I hesitated, I'd never told anyone except for Dumbledore, but I ought to tell them, so I launched into the story of how I was bitten and how mum and dad tried to find a cure but couldn't and how Dumbledore let me into Hogwarts as long as we took certain precautions…
"So all the teachers know?" Sirius asked incredulously after I had finished my story.
"Yes, I think so," I replied.
"So that's why Crevan and Slade are right arses to you in Potions?" James asked.
"Yes… I guess so…" I replied.
"Or it could be the fact that he can't actually brew Potions for shite…" Sirius let out a barking laugh.
I couldn't help but grin widely and breathe out in relief – it felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I could finally talk to my friends about my condition and they wouldn't desert me for it. My heart fluttered and at that moment I truly felt happiness.
It felt like, for once in my life, I had the best friends in the entire world.
Author's Notes: Hmm. Well. There you go. It's revealed. This is only my version of the revealing of Remus' secret, I'm sure you all have your own versions on how it was revealed but well, all I'm asking is that you take mine into consideration a moment and well… that's all really. (I have a feeling there's going to be lots of opinions on this…) I just hope you enjoyed it. Love you all. (Now you've got nothing to bug me about! Hah!)
Ashe Nightingale: Thanks very much, glad you reviewed! Well its not so hard trying to make Peter appear likeable, I just try not to think about what he's done and focus on him just being a kid.
XMissxUnderstood: Thanks very much! I really do hope you liked this chapter though! Now… about that Sirius on top… (hehehehe)
Hannanora Potter: Hahahahhahahah, loved the mental image of James trying to wipe Sirius on the couch, now that is definitely something only the marauders would do! Hi-larious! Thanks for that lil bit on apostrophes, yes people will probably stop using them because we're getting lazier and lazier, hell, who needs two s' when you can use one? Heh. I'm glad you liked Peter, yes, he can be sweet too, not just evil! No I didn't get the idea of the honking daffodils from Hook, actually I got it from HP, when Lavender and Parvarti give Trelawnley daffodils because she's upset but they don't give her the honking kind or something. Hehe, I'm glad you liked the prank, and James and Peter trying to ward off evil spirits, that was one of my favourite parts! Hehe. Thanks for the compliment about my pranks! Its always hard trying to think up pranks, especially ones that MWPP would come up with! Thanks very much for all your reviews, I do appreciate it!
Elvengirl9: Thanks! Yes, some ff writers portray James as a Chaser and Seeker (not at the same time), I'm thinking of doing that, but I don't know. Sorry about the no Remus thing in the other chap, but this one makes up for it, doesn't it? And the next two chaps as well…
PotterManiacGirl: Thanks very much! Well I'll keep that in mind (the Russell Williams thing) ;)
Trovia: Well thanks very much for taking the time to review now, I do appreciate it! I don't know about Sirius making the team at some point, a lot of ff writers see him as beater too, I think he would make a good beater too, but I'm not sure at this point. Well you can only wonder! Thanks very much again for your review:-D
BrennQT: Thanks very much! Ah, Lily's not that bad… well maybe she was having a bad day or something, I don't think James minds though, he just likes to annoy her. Well there was a bit of Sirius in that chapter, but there's more of him in this one, so. Thanks again!
Insanewelshangel: Thanks so much! I really do appreciate it!
LupinLover88: Thanks very much for rereading the fic and reviewing it as well! Yay! Now that shows dedication! Seriously, I really do appreciate it along with all your comments! Thank you so much!
Miss Penny: Hmm well yes the Seeker/Chaser thing is confusing, but JK said he was a Chaser in an interview, so I'm going by that until she strictly says something else! Thanks for reviewing!
Writer of Fantasy: Thank you very much!
Visualpurple: Heh, well that's good! I might try and see if I can slip the star thing in somewhere, I have no idea where yet though! Sorry I haven't written back to your email yet, but I have been thinking about it! As to name ideas, mostly I search the net for names and write down the ones I like in a document, I have a whole collection of them now! Thanks for your review:-D
Janet Lily: Yes you did find out about Slade, but shh, don't tell anyone else or it'll ruin it! Well I was thinking of putting Sirius in tryouts as a Beater, but I thought, well Quidditch is James' thing, maybe Sirius will try out next time, I'm not sure. Thanks for the review!
Themaniacsisters: Thanks very much! And thanks very much for your patience!
Thehpgang: Well I'm glad the updates are spontaneous, it makes it more fun that way, don't you think! Heh. Otherwise you know when to expect it. Expect the unexpected. ;) Yes I can understand what you mean about Quidditch, I don't really like reading (or writing) about it either, but well, it was part of their lives. Thanks very much for your review :-)!
Erica: Hehe, yes it would be great if James' logic worked in the real world, wouldn't it? But then, imagine how crazy the world would be if everything was based on James' logic. Remus would go crazy, methinks. Then again, James' logic is probably better than Sirius'. Now I'm rambling. Anyway, glad you liked Lily in the chap. Thanks very much!
Unforgettable: Thanks very much! Your wish is my command!
Parvarti-2: Thank you very much:-D
Lady Deathstrike: Aw thank you so much for your great review! I'm really glad you like it! Thank youuuuuu:-D
Beansie: Hehe, well I'm glad you did review! Its okay, I understand, I'm lazy too when I think about. (Actually, I don't really need to think about it). Now what's this about intermissions? I said what now? I can't remember that… (not a very good memory here). I'm eighteen actually, and yes, I'm at university. Thanks very much for not being lazy and reviewing! Yay:-D