Year 1972, 2nd Year

Peter's Prattle:

Quote of the Day: I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends

The weeks that followed Sirius, James and I finding out about Remus were miserable for me. Sirius and James were too caught up in the excitement of Remus being a werewolf to notice my reaction to Remus' secret or they didn't care. I didn't dare hang around Remus because I was scared of him, and I felt betrayed.

I thought back on when Sirius had worked out that Remus was a werewolf. That night everything changed…

I watched as James and Sirius disappeared up the staircase. I stopped pretending to be busy and sat staring at the Dark Arts book Sirius had just abandoned a minute before. I gazed at the illustration of a werewolf that was looking up at me from the yellowing page with a malevolent glint in its amber eyes. It had snarling razor-sharp yellow teeth, long snapping jaws, a hairy snout, and dangerously sharp-clawed paws.

A book that I had been holding fell limply from my hands onto the floor. It felt like a million feelings were surging through me. Fear. Shock. Guilt. Shame.

I couldn't quite grasp at the fact that Remus Lupin, the boy I thought I had known for a whole year, the boy whom I had confided in so many times, the boy whom I had entrusted my deepest thoughts to… was a werewolf. A werewolf. A monster that tried to kill humans once a month. Normal humans. Everyday people. People like me. Or James. Or Sirius. Or anyone. He could kill anyone.

I knew that I should have been up in the dormitory with James and Sirius telling Remus that I didn't care about him being a werewolf. But I couldn't.

Because I did care.

I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I felt strangely betrayed, I had told him some of my innermost secrets, I had told him my feelings, and he had kept something like this from us. He had kept so much from me. He'd probably dismissed my own secrets for nothing, not caring about them.

But now that I did know, I didn't know what to do. Should I go up and talk to Remus? Reassure him that I didn't care about him being a werewolf? Like James and Sirius were doing this very moment? Should I leave the common room? Should I dismiss him as he had so verily had done to me? Should I stay down here and keep away from him?

If truth were told, as soon as Sirius had said the words "Remus" and "werewolf" I was scared out of my wits. Remus a werewolf. It seemed so impossible. But yet, it was so right.

I was scared. Scared that Remus would turn on me, scared that he could try to kill me at the full moon. Scared that something utterly terrible could happen, not just to me, but to Sirius, or James, or to anyone.

A thought crossed my mind suddenly, where did Remus go when he transformed? Surely he wouldn't transform in Hogwarts? Or did he? Surely not. There must be somewhere he transformed. But where? And how close was it to Hogwarts? Maybe it was at his parents' place. Maybe he flooed there and back for his transformations.

Suddenly another thought hit me.

About a year ago a rumour had been going around that there was a house, a shack in Hogsmeade that was inhabited by very violent spirits. That every night around the full moon these spirits would make a racket, they'd scream and rip the place apart. No one ever went in there. It was branded the 'Shrieking Shack' by Hogsmeade villagers. Was this the place that Remus had been transforming in for the past year? It seemed to fit, the rumour had started to circulate a year ago, and Remus came to Hogwarts a year ago…

I shuddered as the picture of the werewolf floated through my mind once again. Snapping jaws, razor sharp teeth dripping with blood and saliva, thick wiry hair, sleek body, ready to kill at any moment…

Every time Remus came near me I saw that picture. I saw the monster that Remus turned into every month. And not the boy in front of me. I wanted to get over my fear of the werewolf but I couldn't.

Of course Remus tried to talk to me, but I avoided him. I was too scared to even look him in the eye for fear of seeing the dark eyes of a werewolf staring back at me. I even had nightmares about it. I dreamt about Remus turning into a huge werewolf, towering over me, saliva and blood dripping from its jaws from its latest kill, ready to clench its huge sharp teeth around me and rip me in half. I woke up in a cold sweat for several nights and the nightmares haunted me constantly.

Every time Remus approached me visions of my nightmares flashed through my mind and I had to get away from him. I was scared out of my wits. Can you imagine being murdered by a werewolf? What's more, a werewolf who was supposed to be your friend? Who you had trusted?

So I avoided Remus; and James and Sirius were too caught up in their discovery to notice anything was wrong.

It was on one of these particularly lonely days when I was sitting out in the courtyard alone one Friday afternoon before dinner that the Slytherins made me the target of their hexes.

I was sitting there, minding my own business, trying to do a bit of homework because I didn't want to be in the common room, when all of a sudden a large shadow was cast over the parchment that I was working on.

I looked up to see Snape, Wilkes, and Rosier - a large third year, standing over me.

"Did poor little Pettigrew's friends desert him?" Snape said, sneering down at me.

"What do you want?" I asked bravely.

"Oh, Pettigrew can actually talk for himself can he?" Rosier said. The other two laughed.

"Look… I'm n…not in the mood okay," I replied. I wish they would all just go away.

"Not in the mood for what Pettigrew? You're not so brave now that Black, Potter and Lupin aren't here to protect you, are you? What, did you're pathetic friends desert you or something?" Snape asked.

"N… No!" I said quickly.

"Well that's what it seems like, doesn't it?" Snape said viciously, "We told you they'd desert you, we told you on the train, and we'll tell you again Pettigrew: They. Don't. Care. About. You." Snape said in a soft whisper.

"They do!" I said.

"If they cared about you so much then where are they? They're not here to rescue you, are they?" Rosier said.

He did have a point.

Sirius, James or Remus weren't here to defend me this time.

"They're busy!" I said.

Wilkes snorted, "Too busy to help out their 'friend' are they?"

"I am their friend!" I said.

"They're not your friends Pettigrew. They're using you. Now they're not even talking to you, they don't even care about you," Snape said in a low whisper, holding out his wand.

I pulled out my wand also.

I knew what was coming.

Was he right? Did James, Sirius and Remus not care about me? It certainly seemed so.

I mentally slapped myself, what was I thinking? Of course they cared about me!

Didn't they?

"What, are you going to try and hex us, Pettigrew?" Rosier sniggered, eyeing my wand.

"Just g…go away!" I stammered.

"Just g…go away!" Wilkes imitated my voice, somewhat squeakier. "Are you gonna make us?"

"I'm not asking for a f…fight," I replied. I wished that I were anywhere but here. Several people in the courtyard had walked over to see what the fuss was all about.

"Oh you aren't are you? Well we're going to give you one anyway! Pathetic little rat!" Rosier said.

Suddenly Snape raised his wand, and before I could do anything he yelled "Expilliarmus!" and my wand flew out of my grasp to land in Rosier's outstretched hand.

"Give that back!" I shouted.

"Shut up!" Rosier said.

I lunged forward, trying to reach my wand.

"Furnunculus!" Snape yelled, pointing his wand at me. Suddenly a horrible feeling came over my face, I put my hands up to my face and felt great big boils suddenly erupting from it. I screamed in horror. The Slytherins laughed wildly.

Suddenly in my confusion and terror, I heard another voice, it sounded angry. Very angry.

It was McGonagall.

"What's happening here!" McGonagall had come marching towards us; she strode in between the Slytherins to see what the noise was about.

"Nothing Professor," Snape said innocently.

"It doesn't look like nothing Mr. Snape! What did you do to Pettigrew?" she demanded, looking at me, my hands now covering my face. I could feel the boils growing and welting.

"It's nothing Professor," Rosier said, dropping my wand on the ground.

"Pettigrew. Explain. And take your hands off your face, silly boy," McGonagall said.

I took my hands away from my now boil-covered face and looked up at McGonagall. My face burned.

"Well?" McGonagall asked.

"They… they hexed me, and took my wand," I said, pointing at the Slytherins.

"Right," she said briskly, picking up my wand and handing it back to me, "Hospital Wing, now Pettigrew," she said.

I didn't need telling twice; I ran out of the courtyard, my hands covering my face. I could feel onlookers' eyes boring into the back of my head, could hear their suppressed laughter, and the Slytherins sniggering.

I ran all the way to the Hospital Wing. When I arrived Madam Pomfrey made me sit upon a bed. My face felt like it was on fire; it was one of the most horrible feelings I'd ever felt. A complaining Madam Pomfrey forced some disgusting liquid down my throat and told me to stay where I was.

"Those boils take a while to go down, I suggest that you stay here for the night Mr. Pettigrew," Madam Pomfrey said as she closed the curtains around my bed and made her way to her office.

I drew my legs up upon the bed and put my hands up to my face. I could still feel the boils there. My face still burned slightly, but it wasn't as bad as before.

I had never been so humiliated in my life; never had I wished so much as at that moment that the ground would swallow me whole.

The Slytherins, though nasty, had in some way been right. James, Sirius or Remus weren't there to protect me that time. I had no one to stand up for me against the Slytherins, that's why they did it. Because there was no one there to protect me. I wondered if this was one of the reasons that I became friends with Sirius, James and Remus. Was it so that they would always protect me? And was this such a bad thing?

These same thoughts flew through my mind, making me more miserable than before.

'They're not your friends Pettigrew. They're using you. Now they're not even talking to you, they don't even care about you'

Snape's words echoed through my mind.

'They don't even care about you'

Did they care about me? A small seed of doubt, the same seed of doubt I had felt on the train when the Slytherins had told me the same thing earlier this year, slipped into my stomach. I felt tears slowly running down my cheeks. I was miserable.

Suddenly I felt a surge of anger at myself. Anger because I couldn't even stand up for myself. Anger because I needed people stronger than me to stick up for me and protect me. Anger because I had just realized the eventual truth about myself; the truth that I was weak.

And that the Slytherins had been right.

I sat there thinking about these things as the room grew slowly darker. The full moon outside rose to its fullest. With a sudden jolt of fear I realized that it was the night of the full moon. The night where Remus turned into a monster.

Suddenly, I heard a distant pained sounding howl. I shivered violently as I lay down on the bed.

It struck me that Remus would be turning into a monster right at this very moment.

I don't know for how long I lay in that bed in the Hospital Wing in the dark, but eventually I grew tired and I fell asleep to the haunting sound of the distant howls.

After what seemed like ten minutes but was probably closer to ten hours I was awoken by noises inside the Hospital Wing. My eyes flew open. The weak sunlight shining into the room indicated that it was early morning. I looked around blearily. I could just make out three people moving around, one of them was controlling what looked like a stretcher. The stretcher held a limp looking unconscious figure.

The three people began talking in worried sounding voices. I recognized the voices; it was Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey. They were talking in hushed voices but I could just make out some of the words being said.

"… He's in a bad way I'm afraid Poppy," it was Dumbledore.

"The boy should never have to go through so much," Madam Pomfrey said sadly.

"He has no choice," Dumbledore replied.

"Yes, I know Dumbledore, but he's only young," Pomfrey said.

"Remus Lupin might be only young but he shows a courage and matureness that I've rarely seen in a boy his age," it was McGonagall's voice this time.

Remus Lupin!

It was Remus!

The werewolf.A voice whispered in my head.

The monster.

The boy lying there on the stretcher was Remus. Remus Lupin. I couldn't quite grasp at this fact. I leaned forward to look through the hangings. I peered through a gap in the drapes to get a better look at the figure on the stretcher.

Instantly I wished that I hadn't.

It certainly was Remus Lupin.

But not the Remus Lupin I knew.

Not the innocent Remus I knew.

I stared at the small figure on the stretcher with widened eyes. Although it sent shivers up my spine I could not look away. Huge nasty looking gashes and bruises covered his pale form. Blood was trickling out of the wounds to dry up on his pale skin. Long, deep claw marks covered his chest and legs. He was wearing ripped and gashed clothes. He looked… broken… battered.

Never had I seen Remus look this way before. Never had I seen Remus Lupin in such a state.

I was horrified.

Sure I had seen him look sickly and pale, but never had I seen him like this. As I peered through the drapes at this figure of Remus Lupin all of my feelings of fear, horror, and anything else that I had felt before towards Remus, disintegrated in that moment.

For the first time since I found out what Remus was I didn't see the snarling werewolf with long snapping jaws and malevolent eyes. I saw the boy in front of me. The battered and broken boy lying there helplessly on the stretcher. The almost helpless Remus Lupin. I realized for the first time that Remus couldn't control the wolf inside of him. I realized that Remus and the wolf were two completely different personalities, that the wolf took over on the full moon and Remus could do nothing to prevent it.

And most of all I realized that Remus Lupin was like any other normal boy in the world, he was just as normal as James or Sirius, or anyone, and he deserved to be treated as any other normal person ought to be treated, and that was with friendship and respect. Because the Remus I had made friends with was not a monster, he was the furthest thing from a monster ever. He was just a boy, a simple boy. I felt immense shame at my coldness that I had directed towards him before. He had never deserved to be treated like that from anyone, least of all from me.

And that was the moment of true friendship, the moment that I saw Remus for who he really was and the moment that I began to see him as a true, honorable friend very much deserving of anyone's friendship. That was the moment that my true friendship with Remus Lupin had been sealed.

"R…Remus?" I asked quietly, edging slowly towards the pale boy's bed. Remus turned his head slowly towards me; his eyes had a blank look in them. It was like he hardly recognized me. Guilt surged through me and ate at my insides – how could I have treated Remus like I had done in the past few weeks? What have I done? Why did I push away one of the best friends that I had ever had? I felt so guilty that I had treated Remus the way I did, he had done nothing to deserve it. Nothing at all.

It was around noon, about five hours after Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore and McGonagall had brought Remus to the Hospital Wing. I had been dozing on and off, unable to fall into a deep sleep. Madam Pomfrey had tended to Remus' wounds and generally he looked a lot better than when he was first brought to the Hospital Wing.

Since I had first seen Remus after his transformation I had wanted to talk to him, to tell him how sorry I was for everything and how I would do anything to make it up to him, and how stupid I'd been. But he'd been asleep all the way through the morning, now however, he was awake. Although he didn't look as bad as before, the bruises and cuts still remained on Remus' body.

"Remus?" I said again hesitantly. I didn't want to disturb him, and I was scared that he wouldn't want to talk to me.

"Oh… Peter." was all he managed.

By now I had made my way over to Remus' bed, I stood beside it looking at him sadly. He still had that strange blank look in his eyes. It seemed as if he didn't have any grasp of what was happening or his surroundings, or he didn't even care.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in an unnatural, raspy voice.

"I… I … my, the… nothing," I said quietly, not wanting to reveal or trouble Remus with my situation.

"Oh."

"Look Remus, I'm… I…" I stuttered, not being able to form words, "I… I am sorry. I'm so so sorry," I uttered finally.

Remus didn't say anything, but looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window. He still had the blank look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. For everything, for me being an idiot," before I could stop myself I started speaking unnaturally fast and knew that I had begun to babble, but Remus needed to hear this and I needed to say it, "I'm sorry for being stupid and being scared of you… I knew that I shouldn't but I was scared of what you could do to me, or to anyone, I didn't see the real you, only the… werewolf, and I'm sorry for… for it. I know that you can't control it, and I know that it takes over you and there's nothing you can do about it, but I didn't realize it at that moment but I know now, I know now, and I know what it does to you, and I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry," I repeated, tears had started to form in my eyes. I looked down at Remus, and noticed that the blank look was slowly fading. The old Remus was coming back, and the old Remus had silent tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry for not realizing it before, and I can understand if you never want to see me again, and if you want you can hex me, because I've been such an idiot these past few weeks, and you never deserved to be treated like the way I treated you, and I can understand if you absolutely hate me, I will understand." I finished, tears now running down my own cheeks.

"Peter," Remus said softly, "of course I don't hate you." his lips curved into a small smile.

I couldn't believe it. At that moment it had been confirmed. Remus Lupin was one of the greatest friends in the world.

"But," he said suddenly, "I might take you up on that offer of hexing you," he said.

I stood there in silence, not knowing what to say.

Suddenly Remus started to laugh quietly. I let out a sigh of relief and started to laugh as well, something that felt like I hadn't done in ages. Remus winced painfully at the sudden movement constant laughing required. We sat there laughing until a familiar voice interrupted us.

"You sound like a bunch of pobsquackles!" It was Sirius, followed closely by James.

Remus and I stopped laughing and turned to look at the two boys. Remus held his side.

"Pobsquackles?" James looked at Sirius and raised his eyebrow in amusement.

"Never mind," Sirius said dismissively.

"Haven't seen you laugh in a while Pete," James remarked.

I stared at James and Sirius.

"Come on, Peter, don't tell me you wet your pants over our Remus!" Sirius said, looking at me strangely.

"I…I…" I couldn't reply.

An awkward silence set in between us.

"So, how are you Remus?" James asked quickly, turning his attention to Remus.

"All right… I guess," Remus answered.

"Are you sure?" James asked.

"Y… Yes," Remus answered, suddenly very interested in a patch of sunlight on the bed sheet.

I had a feeling that Remus didn't want to reveal to Sirius and James his true situation. He looked far from all right, and I had seen the gashes and bruises on his body, so I knew better. Yet why Remus wanted to hide this from James and Sirius, two of his best friends, was beyond me.

"You don't look too good," I said quietly.

Remus looked up from the patch of sunlight and gave me a strange, almost warning look, "I'm fine, now stop asking."

"Well good," Sirius said immediately, either dismissing the situation or not picking up on it, "because we need you for a prank."

Remus smiled, "is that all I'm useful for?"

"No, but still, we'd like your ideas for a prank," Sirius said.

"Ask nicely," Remus grinned.

"I would like to take this opportune moment my dear friend, to ask whether you would please help James and me with a planned prank that we are planning," Sirius said formally, "as we would like some further input from your vast fountain of knowledge," Sirius added.

"He said nicely Sirius, you didn't have to suck up to him and make yourself sound like a ponce in the process," James said.

Remus and James started laughing; Sirius punched James playfully on the shoulder.

"What about Peter? He has good ideas," Remus said, looking at me.

"Peter can help as well if he wants," Sirius said, his eye fixed on Remus, "come on Moony," Sirius implored.

"What's the magic word?" Remus asked.

"Peacock!" Sirius said randomly.

"Sorry, I can't help you Sirius." Remus replied, grinning.

"Okay, please," Sirius said finally.

"Hmm… okay then," Remus gave in.

Sirius gave a whoop and sat down on the edge of Remus' bed. It was a wonder Madam Pomfrey hadn't come rushing in to shoo us out by now.

"So… this is what we were planning,"

Sirius launched into a full explanation of the prank that James and Sirius were planning, which included the Slytherins, bread and other random items.

If there was any indication that everything was normal again it was the planning of pranks.

The Marauders were back in action.

And I with them.

Author's Notes: Well there you go! I am officially going into hibernation now… Hehe, just joking. HBP comes out on Saturday! Yay! I just hope it doesn't render half of Memoirs uncanon… Oh, and the review count is nearly up to 600! O.O I really cannot believe it, and its all thanks to you guys! So thank you so much for reviewing and reading I really really really REALLY appreciate it!

Maraudergirl7: Thanks very much! Yes Peter can be like that, but see now he's realised how stupid he's been!

Writer of Fantasy: Heh, well Remus will work it out eventually, I mean, he is very intelligent! Hah, glad you liked James in the library part, it would be a rare sight. Except you wouldn't actually be able to see him seeing as he had the invisibility cloak on. Anyway. Thanks very much!

The Thief Kuronue: Aw, thanks very much! I'm very glad you like it, and I'm glad at least someone wants Peter to come back! Yay!

BeansieHehe, yes, I know, so many reviews! Makes me so happy! I cant believe it either! Aw, you cried in the Remus' secret chapter? That's touching! I'm really glad you liked Sirius and the 'Yes, you stupid bloody moronic bloody idiot' part. Hehehe, I like that line! Thanks for pointing out the mistake! I cant believe I didn't notice it, I read the chapter over like 500 odd times! Maybe I will change it… one day, when I can be bothered. ;-D. Glad you loved Chap 31's title! And look! I read your mind; it's a Peter Chapter! Hehe. Nah, I had a Peter chapter written after chap 31 for ages. I'm really glad that you wanted Peter's POV on this though! Thanks SO much again for your awesome review!

Padfoot's Mate: Thanks very much for your review :-D! Yeah I know, I didn't see it either and I read it over like 500 times! Oh well. I'm really glad you liked the quote! I like it too!

BrennQTHeh, yes Remus will definitely warm up to the idea! Glad you liked the chapter, yes S & J are very persistent, and annoyingly so, as I'm sure Remus would tell you! Well I don't think Peter has realised that no ones died, I don't think he's thought about it, he's too caught up in being scared!

Miss Penny: Well I really don't know, I guess so because Chasers handle the balls more often than Seekers, but then Seekers have to have excellent reflexes in order to get the snitch at the last minute before it flies away or someone else does. Hmm. Thanks for reviewing!

JojoThank you very much! I'm really glad you liked it! Yes it is like Remus to say no to the idea, especially if it involves breaking Ministry laws!

Alora05: Aw! Thankyou SO much! I really really really really really (I could go on forever doing this! ;-D) appreciate it! I'm so glad you think I got them right! Thanks heaps again!

Kelseymm09: Thanks very much for reviewing!

Janet Lily: Yeah, I don't know why mine wasn't very long, I guess cause that's just how it turned out, but I liked it all the same. I'm glad you liked Sirius counting down. Yes, I think in most FF's Sirius and James ensure that he is a werewolf before confronting him about it, but I think if Sirius discovered like that he'd be too angry and shocked to wait and prove that he is, and plus Remus knew that Sirius knew so the only thing for Sirius to do was go thundering up the staircase, bang on the door and confront him :-D. Thanks very much again!

The Maniac Sisters: Aw, it made you cry? Well that's touching. I'm really glad you like it and I will keep it up! Remus will be okay! Thanks very much for reviewing!

XMissxUnderstoodxThat's okay! I'm glad you are still reviewing though! Hehehe, that's a very interesting idea! (Turning Peter into a pumpkin pasty and feeding him to Snape!) Poor Peter!

MinorMistake99: Wow! 5 chapters a night! Well I'm glad you caught up! Yay! I'm glad you want to see what Peter is thinking as well! Thanks very much for your comments and I'm so glad you like the story!

Erica: well I'm glad you liked the secret chapter because I got kind of nervous about it too, seeing as a lot was expected of it! Heheh, yes the title 'James and Sirius' Stupid Idea' is asking for something, I like that title! Thanks very much again!

Anonymous: Thanks very much, glad you liked it! Yes Moony has made an appearance, yay! But it might take a while for the other nicknames to!

RhiawoodsThanks very much for reviewing! I'm glad you liked how I portrayed Peter, I didn't want to have him as just an idiot because he was a Marauder too, whether we like it or not! Thanks SO much for all your reviews!

Elvenwolf123321: Heh, well maybe you will hit 600 if you're (and I'm) lucky! Well I never thought about the sun being in their eyes, oh well, they can always wear sunglasses, haha. Imagine that. I'm really glad you liked that Sirius kept on insulting Remus, I liked that part too. Thanks for your review!

Ashe Nightingale: Hehe, yes, there will be a lot of angst in the last years, sixth especially. Well I think Peter did feel a little betrayed because he had shared everything with Remus and Remus in return didn't tell him one of the biggest secrets of his life. Question is, would Peter have really wanted to know? I don't think he would have.