TRIGGER WARNING - There are big mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. Also elements of abuse throughout the story. Please read with caution.

"And may I ask about…"

Lucy sighed as Miss Erza trailed off. Even though Lucy was still recovering, she still had to attend her private sessions every day with Miss Erza, though from the comfortableness of her own bed. Levy had left only a few minutes ago to join group and she was already being hounded about Natsu once again.

"I'm not ready yet," Lucy muttered, trying her best to be honest. "I need to figure out what I'm feeling before I talk."

"Okay," Erza nodded easily and smiled as she jotted something down. "How about I tell you something?"

Lucy shrugged.

"I have still not figured you out."

Lucy perked up at that, and Miss Erza chuckled. "I would have bet my weight in gold that that would've caught your attention."

"I – " Lucy stuttered. "I couldn't tell. I always thought you saw through me."

"I know," Miss Erza grinned as she closed her notebook. "That's exactly how I feel about you. I just can't tell."

Lucy felt pride well up in her and Erza laughed again. Lucy smiled. "Then how did you know it would catch my attention?"

"Because me not knowing how you felt caught mine – I could only assume our reactions would be mirrored."

"Does it bother you?"

Miss Erza shook her head.

"No," she tucked a flaming lock behind her ear. "It was interesting to see. I was the same when I was here."

Lucy stilled. Out of all the things she had expected Erza to say, it was not that.

"You – You were a patient here?"

"Once upon a time, yes," Erza smiled. "It seemed like divine punishment that I got a patient just as guarded as me. I'd wager my own councillor would be laughing at the thought. I attended here with another councillor of ours, Jellal."

Lucy slumped back against her pillow. "Wow."

"I thought that would interest you," Erza laughed again. "Jellal and I… We suffered horribly as children. We were friends once, our trauma bringing us closer. But things happened and we… We weren't the same. We didn't speak for years even though we attended here together."

Lucy felt her chest tighten. Miss Erza and Jellal's story was so different than hers and Natsu's but so similar at the same time. "What happened?"

Erza's expression hardened. "I can't tell you everything since it's Jellal's story too. But we were here for many years, much like Natsu. The things we went through were…" She trailed off.

"Awful. But we found our way back to each other and made amends. We could never forget what had happened," Lucy cast her eyes down, but Erza smiled. "But we certainly learned from them."

"Did he hurt you?" Lucy managed to ask. She was surprised when Erza nodded immediately. "And you forgave him?"

"When I was ready," Erza allowed. "I think we would have patched things up far sooner if I had confided more in other people. Not just the councillors – But my friends, too."

Lucy nodded slowly. It was clear why Erza chose now to tell her this story, but she couldn't find it in herself to be angry that she did.

"When you did – When you forgave him…" Lucy continued, hating how feeble her voice was sounding. "Did things go back to the way they were?"

Erza hummed as she got her things together and stood up. "Not particularly, we had a lot of hurdles."

"Oh." Lucy nodded, deflating somewhat. Erza lingered before resting a comforting hand on the blonde's knee.

"They weren't the same," The red-haired woman reiterated gently. "They were better."

Lucy looked up, unable to not feel dubious. "Better?"

"Mhmm," The older woman hummed. "We were stronger and grew closer. No relationship is perfect but that doesn't mean they're worth less. I truly believe everything happened that way for a reason. So that we could be who we are today. We healed together, grew together and when we were ready, we left together."

Lucy listened intently. Whatever Miss Erza and Jellal went through sounded big, so big Erza could hardly give any details. If they could get through whatever they did, maybe there was hope for her and Natsu.

"Training to become a doctor is not easy, especially when you're specifically training to work in a place like this. Jellal and I studied hard, and we even found some healing from that. Learning more in depth about the brain's reaction to things and what exactly happens to your mind and body after trauma made it so much easier to comprehend. Maybe it's something I can even expand on through our sessions – Since it helped me, maybe it'll help you."

Lucy nodded quickly. She couldn't deny that that sounded very interesting. Erza smiled.

"Studying isn't all we did. Like I said, we helped each other so much and found solace in someone who could understand."

"What else did you do with him?" Lucy couldn't help but ask.

Miss Erza smiled mischievously before simply saying: "I married him."

It took a minute for Lucy to fully understand her. She would never have guessed that Miss Erza was married, and she certainly wouldn't have guessed it was to the kind and soft-spoken arts and crafts teacher with the face tattoo. Erza laughed for a long moment at Lucy's expression.

"And you both came back?" Lucy mumbled in disbelief once she had found her wits. Erza nodded.

"Yes. We wanted to be able to make the difference in other young people's lives that was made in ours. This place was our home, and we knew the moment we left that we wanted to give someone else what we were given."

Lucy absorbed her words slowly, detecting no hint of dishonesty from the older woman. Erza chuckled softly and squeezed her knee.

"I think you would make an excellent councillor one day."

Lucy laughed as Erza let go and headed to the door. "Miss Erza?"

Miss Erza pulled the door open before lingering in the doorway. "Hmm?"

"Can I – Uh – " Lucy turned her face slightly to hide the colour forming on her cheeks. "Could you bring me some paints? For the door?"

Miss Erza did nothing to hide her blinding smile as she nodded enthusiastically. "Right away."

Erza brought Lucy a chair so she could sit when she started painting her door. The surgery was only two weeks before, so she was still a little sore. She dipped one of the brushes into a deep navy blue and started painting. She knew she was putting herself in the line of fire by sitting right outside her room, right in front of Natsu's door but she didn't feel like hiding at the moment.

Her movements faltered. She didn't know if she could forgive Natsu just yet. Not only did he hurt her, he abandoned her. He didn't see her for nine days when she was in the hospital wing after her father hit her, right after he said they could carry on whatever they had started.

"Hey Lucy!"

Lucy turned to see Levy walking towards her. She glanced at the clock before looking back at the blunette. "What are you doing back so early? Group has another 20 minutes."

Levy huffed and sat against the wall in front of the blonde, beside her door. "I know. I wanted to hang out with you."

Lucy smiled, a warm feeling spreading across her chest. "Well, I'm glad. You can help me paint."

Levy picked up a brush and dipped into the same colour, brushing the door with a much steadier hand. "What made you decide to paint your door?"

Lucy shrugged. "I don't know. I got tired of trying to fight this place. They can clearly help us, so I just stopped being stubborn."

"Who are you?" Levy laughed and Lucy joined in.

"I'm glad you're here actually," Lucy cast the smaller woman a cheeky smile. "I wanted to ask how things were going with Gajeel."

Levy's face lit up. Lucy cackled as she dipped her brush back into the paint. "That good, ey?"

"We… we made amends."

"Made amends…" Lucy repeated, her and Miss Erza's last conversation ringing in her ears. "So, you talked?"

"If you can call it that," Levy said lightly, not looking away from the paint. Lucy stilled.

"What does that mean?" Lucy nearly screeched. Levy nearly lunged off the floor to knock Lucy off the chair.

"Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush!" Levy babbled as she pressed a hand over Lucy's mouth.

"You need to tell me everything!" Lucy didn't lower her voice. She could swear she heard Levy growl before she pulled her chair back into Lucy's room and shut the door.

"Alright! Alright." Levy paced the floor of Lucy's small room as Lucy watched with a grin. "We weren't planning anything, okay? It just… happened."

"What just happened?" Levy groaned at Lucy's excitement.

"Gajeel wanted to talk. Alone. I don't know if you know this because you have Natsu props but that's really hard to do here."

Lucy couldn't hide her laughter. Levy cast her a light-hearted glare.

"He – He spoke to Natsu. Natsu knows this place better than anyone so he wanted to ask if there's a room that we could go into, somewhere the guards wouldn't find us."

Lucy stilled a little. She didn't know how she felt about someone else being in her – Well, Natsu's music room, but her worries were quickly dulled.

"Natsu told him about this… Library room. There are no books, all the shelves are empty, but it's on some old, abandoned wing. Natsu told him it used to be this building's library and that if Gajeel and I managed to get in there after lights out, then he could cover for us."

"When was this?" Lucy couldn't help but ask.

"It was a few days after you had your surgery." Levy slumped onto Lucy's bed. "We were gonna talk sooner, but after everything that happened with you, we… We just needed to know you were okay first."

Lucy's chest tightened. She never would have guessed all those months ago that she'd find a friend like Levy in a place like this. "Okay, go on."

"So… Natsu knocked on Gajeel's door after lights out to tell him the coast was clear, then Gajeel came and got me. Natsu told me that he sits in the hallway sometimes, so the guards don't always linger on our ward, they trust him. He said that if any guards came, he'd tell them no one had been out of their rooms."

Lucy couldn't believe that Natsu would do that for them. It sounded so unlike him. She couldn't think further on it as Levy went on.

"Gajeel has memorised the way to the library. At first, we really just… talked. I told him I knew where he was coming from, but that if the situation was reversed and I tried to do what he was doing he'd be just as against it. He told me…"

Levy's eyes grew glassy. "He told me he loved me."

"Oh, Lev," Lucy breathed as she stood up to hug her friend. The smaller girl clung onto her as sobs started to shake her body.

"I can't believe he's really leaving…" The blunette cried. Lucy felt tears sting her eyes as she rubbed the smaller girls back.

"You're not far behind him," Lucy reminded her gently. Levy pulled away to rub her eyes and she nodded.

"I know," She replied. "That's what I said. The next thing I knew I was crying, and he was hugging me. I settled down eventually and I kissed him. Like never before Lucy, I just wanted to hold onto him and never let go."

Lucy nodded with a smile as she squeezed the girl's shoulders. "And then?"

Levy's face lit up again and Lucy giggled. "Levy McGarden!"

"What was I supposed to do?" Levy groaned. "He's so hot and I love him so much – I didn't know if we'd ever get the chance to again!"

Lucy squealed and hugged her again. "Atta girl, McGarden! What was it like?"

"Lucy," the blunette moaned and Lucy raised her hands palm up.

"Okay, but this is not over!" She pointed a finger at the smaller girl. "I want details, the moment you're ready."

"Fine," Levy snivelled, and they both settled onto Lucy's bed. "Now that I've shared the fact I've lost my virginity in a mental hospital, I think it's only fair you tell me about Natsu."

Lucy stilled and opened her mouth to object, but Miss Erza's words rang in her mind. She closed her mouth before shrugging her shoulders. "We – We were a thing."

"That much I knew," Levy agreed. "So, what happened?"

"That day… The day my mom came to see me," Levy nodded slowly, and Lucy went on. "After mom left, Natsu said he needed to talk. I can't tell you everything because it's Natsu's story to tell, but he told me he was leaving."

"Natsu's leaving?" Levy gasped and Lucy shook her head.

"Not anymore," The blonde breathed. "But he was pretty sure at the time. He wanted a clean break from me, I dunno, to make it hurt less or something. I don't know whether that was for me or for him."

"Asshole," Levy grunted, and Lucy laughed.

"Yeah," She breathed before taking a deep breath. "He said we never should have started it in the first place. Said two crazy people leaning on each other was toxic and stupid. I tried to reason with him, but his mind was made up. Later he told me it was hardly a relationship to begin with. We'd kissed one time and that – "

Lucy cut herself off.

"What?" Levy asked softly.

"He said I wasn't the only girl he'd… been like that with." Lucy shook her head, unable to make eye contact with the girl. "I was nothing special – Just a notch in his belt."

"Oh…" Levy nudged forwards to wrap her arms around the blonde. Lucy rested her head on her shoulder. "Oh, Lucy."

"Lucy."

The girls jumped apart to find the door wide open and Natsu stood in the doorway. Lucy's breath hitched in her throat just at the sight of him. His brow was furrowed, and he looked… tired. Levy stood up from the bed and looked back to Lucy.

"Would you like me to get rid of him, Lucy?" Levy asked, her voice clipped. Lucy's brows shot up.

"Lucy, can we please talk?" Natsu asked before she could answer, his face pained. Lucy looked between the two before her eyes rested on Levy.

"It's okay," she smiled. "You can go. Tell Gajeel hi for me."

Levy met her gaze for a long moment before nodding. She didn't spare another glance at Natsu as she walked around him.

Natsu turned back towards Lucy as Levy shut the door. Lucy closed her eyes before looking right at him, that horrible tightness squeezing in her chest right away.

"So," She began when the silence went on for too long. "You're not leaving."

Natsu breathed in deeply before replying. "No. Seems I was wrong."

"Seems so."

Natsu didn't say anything for another long moment. Lucy's patience was slowly running out.

"Natsu, what do you want?" She asked finally, trying to keep the bite out of her words. "Do you have something to say?"

"Yes," he replied immediately. His brow furrowed and he struggled to maintain eye contact. "I just – It's harder than I thought."

"Well, then maybe we could do this another time," she breathed as she stumbled off the bed. She pulled the door open only for it to be slammed shut again. "Natsu!"

She spun around and he was right behind her. He left his palm on the wood of the door as he lingered over her, his chest brushing hers.

"I didn't," he started, his voice low. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

Lucy's heart jumped in her throat. "Yeah. You made that pretty clear."

Natsu thumped his hand on the door and Lucy jumped. "Lucy, please."

"Natsu, what do you want from me?" She gasped quietly. "You wanted me to believe you didn't want me. I finally believe it, and you're mad?"

"I'm not mad at you," he muttered, his eyes anywhere but at her eyes. "I'm mad at me. I can't believe I fucked this up so badly."

Lucy felt tears prick her eyes, but she blinked them away furiously. "Was it true?"

Natsu met her gaze, his eyes burning. "No."

Lucy felt her eyes sting and Natsu pressed his forehead to hers.

"I have never known anyone like you," he whispered. "I've never felt this way in my entire life. How could I not want you?"

"Does it scare you?" She breathed and felt his breath ghost her lips.

"More than you know." He growled.

She lifted her hand up to cup his neck when she felt Natsu's body jolt. She opened her eyes to find him staring behind her, listening intently.

"Fuck," he groaned, falling a step away.

"Who can you hear?" She asked immediately, already knowing he heard something she didn't.

"They're here." Lucy didn't need to him to say more to know exactly who he meant. She turned around to pull the door open.

"Lucy, don't – "

"Stay in here," She muttered. She didn't wait for his response as she stepped into the hall and shut her door behind her.

She looked down the hall to see a few others from her ward had looked out to see the commotion. Gajeel and Laxus had clearly heard it themselves, which bewildered her. She had to wait for another thirty seconds before the voices reached her ears.

Then, there they were. A beautiful, black-haired woman and a tall, pink haired man. Undoubtably Natsu's parents. They were walking towards their ward so fast that the guards had to jog to keep up. It seemed they were not forced out of the premises as they brought some of their own personal manpower to keep the guards at bay.

"We know he's in here, and we're not leaving without him." The pink haired man growled, and the woman looked just as hateful. They didn't cast a glance at her as they marched towards Natsu's door and nearly ripped it off the hinges. Lucy didn't mask her glare as they returned from the room empty handed.

"Where is he?!" The woman shrieked. Gildarts and Erza looked at each other in disbelief, clearly flabbergasted by the scene.

"We are not at the liberty to disclose any information about our patients to you," Miss Erza said sternly, her gaze downright scary. "You're of no relation to him and even if you were, we still not required to give you a thing."

"No relation?!" The man stuttered. "He's our son!"

"Actually," a familiar voice rang out down the hallway. Lucy's eyes nearly bugged out her head as she watched the tall figure walk into the corridor. "He's my son."

Erza and Gildarts visibly slumped in relief. Igneel's eyes were cold and hard as he stopped in front of the couple, his lazy scarlet ponytail clashing with his crisp suit. The couple looked small in his gaze as he looked down upon them.

"I said I wouldn't press charges the last time you pulled something like this," the red haired man drawled. "I cannot say the same for this time."

"You have absolutely no right – " The pink haired man started before Igneel cut him off.

"You're very emotional, Haru." Igneel chuckled, but his aura felt far more palpable than the man he'd named. "There are camera's all over this hospital. If you're friend's saw you in a state like this you wouldn't be able to show your face for years. That's how things work in your circle, yes?"

Haru stuttered before his wife took a step forward to stab a finger at Igneel. "This isn't over. That boy is our property, and we will get him back. He owes us his life."

"He owes you nothing," Igneel hissed as he leaned forward, and the woman stumbled back. "You owed him everything and you gave nothing. It's your job as parents to look after your children and you failed, and you don't get a second chance, Hana. God knows you don't deserve one. Now you can either leave by your own free will, or I won't hesitate to assist these guards in throwing you out myself."

Lucy watched as the couple's own guards shuffled nervously. Igneel looked capable of throwing them all out on his own without breaking a sweat. Hana didn't break her gaze, but eventually she curled her arm around her husbands and walked around the scarlet haired man, not looking back for a second.

"Thank you, Igneel," Gildarts slapped a hand to the social workers back when the couple was out of sight. "You really saved our asses there."

"I'm sure you had it under control," Igneel smiled before greeting Erza politely. His eyes rested back onto Gildarts. "Now, where is my son?"

Lucy's stomach clenched as Miss Erza and Gildart's eyes both turned to her. Igneel followed their gaze and raised a curious brow when his eye's found Lucy's.

"Miss Heartfilia," He smirked at her, and Lucy was shocked to find that it reminded her of Natsu – Far more than the pink haired man had. "You're friends with my son?"

"Um…" Lucy had to fight the urge to throw paint at Gildarts at how he snickered, but Igneel's gaze never wavered. He smirked like Natsu again before stepping towards her confidentially.

"Lead the way."